S and M

We all kill ourselves for something…and during that process we tend to find we might even enjoy it.

K. Higurashi


It was cowardly.

She deserved to be digging the glass out of the skin of her arms.

Yet, she still ran. Her calves ached with exhaustion and her eyes burned with the shame of actually running away, running from him. How many years had she spent around familiar sites that could've housed his spirit only to find nothing. She had blissfully assumed that he had been accepted into Heaven.

Kagome cried out into the night.

How wrong had she been!

His soul had been floating around in a pool of uncertainty, still within Death's hand. Kagome tore another shard of glass from her arm as she leaped over a fallen tree. She was going to run to the other side of island if she had to, but she had to get away.

'I can't kill him.'

That was the thought that ran through her head as soon as she those amber orbs set within the familiar face she had grown used to. So, despite the shadows outside she had lunged through the window and took off for the wilderness.

'I can't save him…them.'

She couldn't understand how she could've been put into such a position. Her deceased husband was possessing the body of the man that she currently held affections for. The situation was utterly wrong and she didn't know how to deal. Her senses were so screwed that she was overtaken with surprise when she slammed into a something hard, but warm. Firm hands gripped her arms causing her not to fall back and she was relieved when she met the ever so blue gaze of Castiel.

"What are you doing?" Castiel questioned.

Despite the relief she felt at running into the angel, she also felt nervousness at being caught. Kagome allowed herself to feel the burning of her lungs and begin to actually breathe again. She clutched onto Castiel and happily dry heaved. It didn't matter that Castiel was awkward around her behavior, but she allowed herself to relax.

"The spirit of my dead husband," Kagome dryly whispered as Castiel's eyes narrowed, "is possessing Dean."

"Impossible," Castiel muttered.

He knew that the Winchesters had enough markings to protect against possession, but then realization quickly dawned on him. Kagome wasn't like Western religions, she was Eastern and had different types of creatures that played by different rules.

"A hungry ghost," Castiel muttered causing her to freeze in response.

"I can't harm them," Kagome whispered, eyes red from tears.

"You will allow Dean to die?" Castiel seriously asked. He couldn't relate to her emotions, but logic dictated that she save the living being. Her husband had lived his life and experienced his time, being in Dean was unnatural.

"I don't know," Kagome cried, soul twisting in anguish.

Castiel tightly gripped her arms and stared deeply in her eyes as he said, "I have observed your burden that God has allowed you."

"I can handle anything…but why them?" Kagome whimpered.

He rubbed his thumbs in circles on her arms as he said, "You remember everything suffering you've experienced?"

Kagome could only nod.

"All that suffering though cruel, it has made your heart strong," Castiel firmly explained. "God does not send you to war blindly. He has built you up, prepared you for a moment like this. He will never place a burden upon your heart that you can't bear."

"I don't want to deal with this," Kagome confessed.

"Regardless," Castiel sighed as he released her and regained his composure. "A choice not made is still a choice."

Kagome turned her gaze to the way she had run from. The warmth upon her arms caused her eyes to lower down where she was rivets of blood slowly trailing down her pale flesh and gathering at the tips of her fingers. Her eyes narrowed as she watched the wounds begin to heal, simply leaving the blood.

"He died longing to stay with me," Kagome softly admitted.

Castiel snorted and stated, "I've lived an eternity and haven't truly felt alive since I rebelled against my family."

"I feel guilty," Kagome muttered.

"We all feel guilt, but how will you feel when Dean dies?" Castiel calmly asked. With those words Castiel turned, fully intent on resuming his mission.

"What are you doing?" Kagome asked.

Castiel didn't turn back around as he dryly replied, "Something productive."

And then he vanished leaving Kagome alone. The doubts and sorrow instantly invaded her once more. She rubbed her arms trying to rid herself of the lingering kisses placed upon her skin. The first thing she needed to do, which Castiel had helped with, was calming down and thinking logically.

'Dean is possessed by my dead husband.'

Kagome couldn't help but let out a short laugh that was more like a bark. Castiel had mentioned a hungry ghost, which made sense. Inuyasha's spirit had been held captive in Death's hand to fester for centuries until he became a hungry ghost.

'Naraku calls this a gift.'

Bitterness swept through her at what Naraku had done. She had never enjoyed needless suffering, but she would take pleasure in killing him. Of course, she had to focus upon the task at hand.

Inuyasha. The Hungry Ghost.

They usually had their own form and didn't resort to possession. Depending on what they lacked, it determined on what they fed on.

Kagome took her first step forward, determined.

Inuyasha had been regretful, angry, and constantly vocalized the need to be with her. It partially explained why he had possessed Dean. He was looking for a way to get back to her. Kagome swiped her nose with her fist and sighed. She could take responsibility for making a stupid decision and leaving Inuyasha to wither away with time without her. It was her fault, a fault that she bothered her daily and could really only atone for by killing Naraku.

She felt the familiar aura not far; it flared brightly as if telling her to come. And she went towards it without hesitation this time. Kagome had come too far to turn tail and run. She wouldn't cower to anything and wouldn't let her will break now. Surviving, that is what she had done with every trial; she had survived and moved on.

Emotions were tangled like a net within her when she caught saw of Dean at the edge of the forest. His eyes were shut, but she knew that she wouldn't see the familiar olive that she had grown used to, but something foreign. His eyes snapped open and despite it being Dean's features, the way he held himself and slowly opened his eyes to stare at her unnerved her. His eyes were a deep amber, black pupils were oval and not a circle and then narrowed when they focused upon her.

"Kagome."

She felt her knees tremble.


Dean Winchester had never truly believed that a woman would be the death of him. Yet, here he was. It was a cage of darkness where he simply sat with his legs crossed and olive eyes looking for escape from within his black cell. Since the moment he had met the Miko, he had considered the possibility of traveling with her to be dangerous. Yet, he had still traveled with her, something in his soul recognizing something in her that he couldn't name.

She reminded him of none other he had ever met.

Kagome was odd. She was passionate about everything; her hunt and those that she took within her heart. Dean could also admit that she was also very naïve despite her centuries of living; she honestly tried to believe in the good of everything regardless of the tragedy within her life.

The moment he had kissed her that was the moment that he knew that he couldn't simply let her go. Dean had never been one for love, not since Cassie. Love was pretty much the reason for all the troubles in everyone's lives. God loved man too much, Angels love God too much, John had loved his wife too much and vice versa, and finally Sam loved Jessica enough to get her killed. It was a downward spiral in his opinion.

The Miko has somehow wormed her way into his heart. It had been her infuriating secretiveness and righteous mission of righting a wrong. How could he not be attracted to her? Kagome was woman with a deceptive look. All petite with wonderful curves, beautiful eyes that couldn't hide anything, and did he mention the curves? Of course, there was the way she could literally heal his soul with her pink 'fairy gloss' powers and use a machete. Her hands, despite the roughness of the centuries still contained the ability to tenderly touch. She amazed him to know end, especially with how she had allowed him into her past.

And yet, she hadn't pushed him into revealing his own past. She still didn't know that his brother was Lucifer's chosen vessel, nor did she know that he didn't mind her old age. Dean sighed within his prison.

'I should've never blindly leapt for her lips,' Dean thought as he thought of the amber he had seen in her eyes before he became locked within here.

"I hope she's doing well," Dean mused.

You bitch too much.

If Dean could've jumped, he would've, but unfortunately he couldn't stand within this void. So, he glared into the darkness as he searched for the owner of the gruff voice.

"Get the hell out of my body!" Dean demanded; his shout echoing around him.

A scoff was his reply, yet there was still no other sound. He continued to glare.

You should feel honored that I haven't killed your ass for touching my mate.

'Mate?'

Dean was confused, beyond confused. Kagome hadn't mentioned she was married. In fact, she had said that her husband was dead.

Asshole. I am dead.

"Get the hell out of mind!" Dean roared, not pleased with having his thoughts interrupted.

He knew that he wasn't the smartest guy around. His attention span was way too short and his temper a bit short. It wasn't unusual for him to act without thinking, which is why when he simply went into battle he carried a lot of weapons. When in doubt and without a plan, simply carry more ammo.

Moron. I can't get out of your mind because I possess you.

"Then why am I aware?" Dean questioned.

Hell if I know. Enjoy it while you can because I'm gonna' consume your soul so I can keep your body.

Dean's eyes widened. He did not like the sound of that at all. What the hell type of ghost was this guy and how did he kill him?

It's nothing personal.

"Hell if it is!" Dean shouted, face red. "It's my damn body!"

I simply want to be with Kagome and I will do anything to be with her.

Dean sobered a bit in his anger. Love, once more he was being screwed over because of love.

"I completely understand," Dean stated. "Your chick became immortal and left your ass to turn to ash, I'd be pissed too."

He waited for a response, but found he didn't he get one. So Dean softly hummed, trying to think of a way to kill this spirit and get his body back. It was obvious that he was still in his body, just not in control of it.

Not that I care, but your death will be painless.

"That's comforting," Dean dryly muttered.

I can see why she likes you.

Dean cocked an eyebrow at that comment.

I've been watching her for most of her life.

"You're as creepy as those damn angels," Dean muttered.

There was a scoff and then a harsh bark of laughter.

She's important to me.

"Every heard of 'till death do us part?" Dean dryly questioned.

Ever loved someone so much that you simply can't let go?

Dean paused, he loved his family, but couldn't admit to that. He reached up and scratched the area above his heart wondering if that made him shallow.

I'd do anything for her…even if she doesn't know that it's best for her.

Dean sighed; it was one of those types of ghosts. He couldn't help but feel he had been screwed for love.

"I am so going to kick your ass," Dean muttered with a scowl.

Inuyasha merely laughed at him.


The mist seemed to dance around the two forms. There was no light and oddly everything seemed illuminated. Kagome didn't want to move from this spot. She deeply wished that she didn't have to deal with this. Deeply she inhaled the cool air, scenting death upon the air and she exhaled.

"Inuyasha," Kagome softly murmured.

The corners of his lips tilted up, "I've come back for you."

Her emotions were conflicted. How long had it been since she had heard that voice and felt his aura? Far too long. She wanted to run into his arms, but held herself back. She knew that her Inuyasha had died centuries ago. His life taken by time. For centuries, she had been putting down supernatural creatures. Despite this being some part of Inuyasha, she knew it wasn't right.

"Aren't you happy?"

Kagome's eyebrows furrowed as she felt her mouth drop in horror. He took a step toward her and she stood still. She couldn't back down, but she honestly couldn't reply. Kagome bit her lip trying to calm her conflicted emotions and finally she released another set of tears.

"Don't cry," he soothed, "I'm here with you now."

"No," Kagome softly said. "No you're not."

He stopped advancing toward her and she watched as he tilted his head up a bit in confusion, trying to scent her emotions but failing because of the limitations of Dean's body.

'Dean's body,' Kagome reminded herself.

"You died Inuyasha…naturally," Kagome calmly reminded.

His hands clenched, nails into palms at her words. She saw his pupils narrow and knew that he wasn't going to accept this. Of course, she felt grateful that he wasn't a twisted soul from Hell.

"Keh," he bitterly scoffed. "I should be with you."

"Inuyasha," Kagome sadly sighed. "It wasn't right, but this is how it worked out."

"Worked out, heh?" Inuyasha muttered, eyes down cast. "I guess it did."

Inuyasha's tone was strangely calm and she felt nervous knowing that this was never easy. He blinked and when he opened his eyes she noted they were tinted red, hints that he was becoming enraged.

"Inuyasha? This isn't right," Kagome tried to soothe. "This isn't your body."

Deep within her hanyou's heart, she had always known that he held darkness. What heart doesn't hold darkness? Yet, she had never known he was so bitter. Kagome closed her eyes, memories assaulting her like daggers of every moment that Inuyasha had looked upon her as he aged and she didn't.

'I was too consumed by my duties,' Kagome pitifully thought.

Red eyes with black slits for pupils narrowed on her as he angrily spat, "I guess you're fine now." He slapped his chest as he spat, "Got yourself a new toy, eh?"

Her eyes widened in disbelief as she sputtered, "Dean is not a toy!"

"Or maybe our marriage just didn't mean that much to you?" Inuyasha cruelly asked.

She felt her heartbreaking as she watched him angrily snarl.

"It seems pretty damn easy for you to leave me behind!"

"It wasn't like that!" Kagome shouted. "You of all people know how evil is Naraku is!"

"Together!" Inuyasha roared. "A marriage is meant to take two! It was always about us! Not Naraku, not you being a lone person…us! No damn secrets!"

"I'm sorry," Kagome whispered.

Inuyasha angrily huffed, eyes still read as he regarded the defeated look. It wasn't right! It would never be right! It was her fault that he had died! Inuyasha spat upon the ground.

'Her fault.'

It made perfect sense. She should've grown old with him and died with him. If only she had remained human they could've been happily together in the afterlife.

"I can't change the past…my choices," Kagome softly said, eyes pleading with him to understand.

"I guess you can't," Inuyasha drawled as he took another step forward. How he craved to be with her again. He could imagine her warmth, he could imagine the scent of blood, the taste of her flesh and it all made sense. A twisted smile stretched Dean's face as he cooed, "Come be one with me."

"Inuyasha I…"

Her protest was cut short as he coldly said, "It's your fault I died…that we couldn't be together." At her silence he added, "Come be one with me."

Kagome moved to take a step forward and paused.

'Kikyo.'

What an odd person to be thinking about at this moment. How her heart ached at the moment and wished to do nothing but go to him. There was still so much to do. She squeezed her eyes shut as she thought of her brother. Kagome opened her eyes ignored the amber eyes; there was still Dean to think about.

'I can't sacrifice him,' Kagome firmly thought.

She took a step forward with determination. There were two ways to get rid of a hungry ghost. Miroku had once told her that she could appease what they craved or she could simply purify them until nothing existed. Kagome stood resolved and kept going forward. Each step felt like a death sentence, it was like marching to his funeral pyre again.

"I now understand why Kikyo wanted me to die," Inuyasha mused. "It was and is the only way."

"I understand," Kagome murmured as she approached him.

The scent that was unmistakably Dean reminded her of what she was about to do. Kagome approached and stepped into his waiting arms which closed around her like a clamp. She kept her hands upon his chest as she paused.

"I really do love you," Kagome admitted. "That never changed."

"I know…but his will be the ultimate act of love," Inuyasha cooed to her as he stroked her back.

Kagome looked up at him, her hand coming up to cup his face and tilting his head toward her. It wasn't Inuyasha's body, but she could feel the remnant of his decaying soul. She gently rubbed her fingers along his chin. Her hand slithered around and she gripped the back of his head and she lowered his head closer to her.

Kagome captured his lips.

The kiss wasn't like Dean despite it being his body. The way his mouth moved against her own, with a soothing rhythm that was like a flow of youki. His lips parted her lips and she felt his teeth sucking her own lip. Kagome's yelp of pain was consumed by his mouth as he roughly bit her lower lip. The taste of iron invaded her mouth along with tongue as he ran his tongue along the wound.

Kagome pulled away from the kiss, mouth bloodied as she whispered, "I'm sorry for everything I never gave you."

She pushed her mouth against his and quickly pulled forth the conventional warmth of Miko Ki. It was supposed to be soothing, but felt like she had the flames of Hell rushing through her. Kagome snapped opened her eyes to see crimson eyes staring down at her. She couldn't die with him because there were too many factors. Kagome pushed her power into him and firmly kept her hold on him as she swallowed his scream. The blood within his body from her was already purifying him quicker than normal. Kagome kept pushing and finally, she screamed out her sorrow into his mouth as she felt his aura vanishing.

Crimson flickered back to amber and she stopped and pushed him away. He fell to his rear, confusion lacing eyes that she had fallen in love with, looked to for safety.

"Forgive me," Inuyasha whispered.

Amber flashed back to olive and she watched a white mist surround Dean and simply get carried away by the wind.

"No," Kagome muttered her eyes overflowing with tears, "forgive me."

Dean's eyes rolled back and he fell to the forest floor. Kagome could feel his aura and knew that he would be fine. Her eyes flicked back to the way that Inuyasha's soul had vanished and instantly narrowed when she saw the form of her young brother.

"Naraku," Kagome hissed, weakened, but still enraged.

"I take it you didn't like my gift," Naraku dryly mused, lips far to curled for her liking.

"I will happily drag you to Hell," Kagome growled.

He waived his hand as he stated, "Been there and done that."

Kagome chuckled, content to let her darker side out as she stated, "You obviously haven't done time with a woman scorned."

She took a step closer to Dean's fallen body. Risking him while unconscious was not in her plan and she wouldn't risk him after going to such extremes to save him. Instinctively she threw up a barrier and kept her narrowed eyes upon him.

"Such petty tricks won't stop me," Naraku mused as he reached out and touched it. The tip of his finger was singed and he hissed as he withdrew his hand. "What trickery is this?"

"You're not the only one with power," Kagome reminded with a cruel grin.

Kagome knew she didn't have to make hand symbols or movements, but it amused her to see how the demons reacted to her movements. She raised her hand and flicked it forward expanding the barrier and causing him to jump back.

"You have worn my brother's flesh far too long Naraku," Kagome coldly stated. "I will drag you to Hell and release Souta."

"You will have to kill him in order to get to me," Naraku taunted, confident that he controlled the game.

Kagome coldly laughed as she taunted, "I just purified my husband…what makes you think you're safe anymore?"

Kagome literally felt pleasure at seeing his milky eyes widen in true fear. The way he took a step back added to her gratification, because she now knew that she could and would do what was necessary. Castiel was right, every burdened, it prepared you for something far greater. Kagome lowered her hands and kneeled beside Dean turning her back to Naraku. She didn't fear him and it was only a matter of time before she killed him. Reaching out, she touched Dean's chest and slowly began to restore the energy he had lost.

"I will break your new toy before I break you," Naraku stated.

Kagome blandly looked at before she focused upon Dean. His eyes opened and focused upon her. She smirked at him before she faced Naraku once more.

"No you won't."

She gently weaved her fingers with Dean's and helped lift him off the ground. When she looked back and saw that Naraku was gone and knew that he was afraid. Kagome looked back to Dean and noticed the confusion he held. Deciding to add to that, she gripped his shoulders and lifted herself to her toes as she chastely pressed her lips to his.

"I just had the strangest experience," Dean groggily muttered.


Castiel had been around since Earth's creation. He had seen how Lucifer hated the humans and had heard his brother preach against the dangers of humanity. It was a fitting, though illogical argument, of course humans were illogical. He had watched God descend to Earth and die for the humans in order to save them. Love was hard to comprehend, as an Angel he had free will, but nothing like the humans experienced, for Angels had never been human. There was supposedly nothing that could interrupt his love for his Father, and yet Lucifer had loved himself more and justified his tantrum.

They are dangerous! They will harm Him and only we can protect Him!

Castiel shoved his hands into his pockets, as he felt frustration. The doubt he felt in what his family was doing tore at him. One side was with Lucifer and the other was trying to start the Apocalypse. He was sick of the constant war, but what were his feelings compared to the grand scheme of his Father. Despite what he felt, he knew would not be forgotten. He would follow what he thought his Father would want, not the wants of his siblings.

"Imagine my reaction when I saw you entering the Miko's life."

Castiel's eyes widened as he spun around. Instinctively, he stepped back and held his arms up ready to attack or block against an attack. The woman calmly stood before him dressed in three piece amethyst business outfit, with a skirt in small white heels. Her long black hair twisted into a bun atop her head with thick cat shaped eye glasses that were as slanted at her tiger brown eyes. The woman was about the same height as Kagome, Castiel noted.

"Mihr," Castiel cautiously greeted.

Mihr's tiny pink lips curled at the corner in a smirk, "Hello Castiel."

His eyes darted around, expecting more angels ready to attack. He was a wanted being and knew that Dean was just as wanted.

"I have not given away your location," Mihr calmly assured.

His eyes narrowed and he simply asked, "Why?"

Her delicate black brows rose as she simply responded, "Heaven is a dreadful mess at the moment. I fear for my charge's safety, plus if she has taken a shine to you that means you aren't as stupid as everyone thinks."

"Still, I'm wanted and so is Dean," Castiel argued, not exactly knowing why he didn't simply try and run.

Her hands were still across and clasped together in front of her as she sighed and replied, "The actions of our siblings has been…distasteful."

"You doubt," Castiel muttered.

She gave a single nod and then clarified, "Not our Father. Never doubt our Father, but the actions of our siblings are quite wrong."

"So why are you here?" Castiel asked as he stared at her calm features.

"I have watched Kagome for centuries and her time is drawing near," Mihr sighed.

"You can't reap," Castiel blandly stated.

"Of course I can't, but she gains all sort of angelic attention and so do you and Dean," Mihr pointed out. "I had to insure that everything happens as per date so I've had to shield this place from our nosy siblings."

"You are the cause of the mist."

"What is to be will be and I can't have interference in that," Mihr softly explained.

"And what will be?" Castiel inquired.

Mihr smirked as she answered, "That's Kagome's choice."

Castiel heard the familiar fluttering of wings and found her gone. He knew that she wouldn't be far, because Kagome was still here. He felt unease at knowing that Kagome was supposed to be here and that her time was drawing near.

'Does that mean her confrontation with Naraku or is her time truly coming to an end?'

Castiel knew one thing; he had spent too much time upon Earth. Without a grim expression he supposed he should locate Kagome and Dean now that he found the cause of the mist.


Author's Note:

I know that many of you were excited about Inuyasha, but I didn't want to turn him into a true villian or a have him overshadow Dean as a temporary resident. I truly see the Hanyou as simply fading away with time with bitterness and longing. So, I hope this chapter didn't disappoint anyone.

Ha! I am glad that one of you has become a rapid Supernatural and Inuyasha fan! I hope to read more works in this area soon!

As always, your comments, concerns, questions always help me with my writing. They get me thinking about the story, about what where I want to go and where I should be going!

So, please, leave a comment!

Much love!