Yeah. Here is an INTENSE INSANE! WOOOHOOO! chapter. Yeah. Here we go!
Chapter Seven:
Actual Sense-But Not Quite
"You kidnapped my child, gosh dangit!" ;) Kyle screamed, as she rushed down the aisle, and shook her finger at an Arabian man. ;))
"No I didn't! I was at a camel riding carousel!" the Arabian man ;)) protested.
"Woah, woah, woah! Let's calm down!" Kiley pulled a megaphone out of nowhere. She waved her arms around, while standing between a very angry Arabian man, ;)) and a very accusing Kyle. "Calm down, we don't need a plane war!" Kaden actually smiled at her friend's actual intelligence.
"You expect me to calm down when my daughter is missing?" Kyle demanded. Well, it was actually Jodie Foster, but we'll just say Kyle. Kiley suddenly felt very bad, looking at this poor mother (she was actually an actress, and she was PLAYING a mother, but she did a really good job of it) strain to keep herself from tears.
"It's okay!" Kiley smiled, but then her face melted into a burning anger. "I'LL FIND WHO DID IT!" She chucked the megaphone at a random dude.
"CUT!" Kaden screamed. Everyone stared at her, because she hadn't said anything until now. "Um, miss author person? Can you hear me?" A frightening girl floated down from above the clouds. Not from heaven, mind you, but the Asylum for Mentally Dead.
"Yes? What do you want?" she called. It was...Bitten by a cow and Rabid Rabbit's Rampage.
"Um, do you think I could go back to Middle Earth just for a couple minutes? I never got to ride one of the Nazgul."
Bitten looked at Rabid, then answered plainly, "No." Kaden's shoulders drooped. "I'll send one HERE!" She grinned like a maniac that had just obtained a chainsaw. "SPARKY!" she called, and one of the Nazgul flew over.
"Hey, Bitten!" A man with a big, metal helmet waved at Bitten and Rabid. He was riding Sparky. "Okay, just a second..." He fumbled with his watch, until big, long sticks came out of his helmet. He grabbed onto them, and he started flying. "I got rid of Inspector Gadget, like you asked me to!" he grinned.
"Good show!" Bitten and Rabid clapped.
"Oh, can I ride Sparky after she's done?" Kaden and Kiley heard Rabid ask, as she and Bitten flew back to their insane home. Kaden leaped out the window onto Sparky.
"WHEEEE!" she squealed, as the big beast kept up with the 7-47 or B-52 or whatever the heck it was. After a little while, they heard a jazzy little tune play.
"Oh, hang on, I got a call," said Sparky, and he pulled a cell phone out of a pocket on his wing. "Hello? Oh, hi! Yeah. Uhuh." Kaden clicked her grotesquely long fingernails on his scales impatiently. "Right. See you later! Bye, honey!" He closed the phone, and stuck it back into its little flap. "Sorry," he sighed, "girlfriends can be so pesky!" She smiled. Sparky was cool, and she'd miss him. "Okay, I might see you again sometime! Bye!" He waved as she climbed back into the plane.
"Bye!" she whispered, and she waved until he was merely a speck against the clear blue sky. "Right. ACTION!"
"That's MY line!" screeched a far away voice.
"Sorry!" Kaden apologized.
"You are forgiven." Kaden felt very unproud to be forgiven by an insane person. "ACTION!" Kiley cleared her throat.
"COUGH! As I was saying...I'LL FIND WHO DID IT!" She chucked a stuffed camel at the random dude. That random dude happened to be Gene Carson.
"I'm totally the one who did it," he whispered to some girl who had waaaaaaay too much make-up. Kiley overheard him.
"AHA! YOU!" She stuck a very accusing finger in his face, but he denied it.
"I didn't do it!"
"Sure..." Kiley rolled her eyes and pulled out some handcuffs. Kaden quickly pulled her away. "What are you doing! Ah! He's gonna kill Julia!" Kaden clapped her hand over her friend's mouth.
"Shhh! I have a plan..."
About a half-hour later...
Kiley hummed as she walked casually down the aisle. She held, behind her back, a glob of one of her gross potions. She hadn't named it yet, but she was deciding between "Globb of DOOM"-which Kaden thought of-and "Food Playdoh". She saw that the first bathroom on the girl's side was occupied. She soon came up right behind Kyle, who had been arrested, because she had been "a danger to the plane". Gene kept a firm hand on her shoulder. All of a sudden...
"GO!" shrieked Kaden, as she leaped out of the bathroom stall, and pounced on Gene. She poked him in the eye, and jumped on his back. She held onto his neck as tight as she could, not in affection, but in anger. Kiley readied her "Globb of DOOM". Kaden wrenched Gene's jaw open, and Kiley stuffed the muck in. He garbled, hacked, and gagged, but Kaden roughly rubbed the top of his neck, and jammed his jaw shut. He swallowed the Globb, and nearly upchucked the whole thing.
"Bleech...can I please take a quick break? I think I need to go bow to the porcelain god..." Gene complained, but Kaden and Kiley ignored him.
"You have the right to remain silent..." Kiley grabbed some handcuffs and chained Gene to a conveniently placed pole. "...everything you say can and WILL be used against you in the court of flaw!" Kaden raised an eyebrow at her friend.
"What?" Kiley paused for a moment as she tried to remember the rest.
"You have the right to a journey!" Kaden shook her head. Kiley would need a hearing aid. "OUT THE WINDOW!" She made an attempt to chuck him out, but the handcuffs held him back. She fumbled around in her pockets. "Aw, crap! I forgot the key back in Kokiri Forest! I had cleverly put it in my Special Tuna Sandwich!" She stomped her foot. But, she quickly ended her little fit, and started checking Mr. Carson's pockets. "AHA! A detonator, Mr. Bad? What's it do...?" She began to wildly press the buttons. It started beeping.
"Oh, crap..." Kaden freaked out. "No! No! Bad deto! Bad deto! Julia should live! She didn't do not'in'! It's mine! It's a hundred! Shut it off!" She jumped on the small, metal contraption of death. Surprisingly, it didn't break. The cool Arabian salesman ;)) from Aladdin appeared.
"Oh! I have never seen one of these in tact before! Look! It doesn't break!" The little item crumbled under Kaden's wrath. "It broke." And with that, the little man, his turban, the detonator, an his camel (too bad) disappeared in a puff of smoke. Then, Kaden felt something prickly on her neck.
"Noooo..." She looked at the little blowgun dart, and fainted.
;) May not be actual line. Actual line most likely has swears in it.
;)) Maybe he got to ride a CAMEL!
Well, this is a short chapter, yes, but hopefully it has as much randomness as the others. I think I'll be making about three or four more chapters, and then this strange little fic will be done. And the line that Kaden said, the "It's mine! It's a hundred! Shut it off!" is from homestarrunner. I thank you, my reviewers! I love you all! Have a great Nazgul-filled day!
With a very short cameo appearance from Keanu the camel! Yeah, he decided to be the cool Arabian salesman's camel. Okay, keep it rolling!
