Chapter 7

Kakashi sat on the roof, arms wrapped around his legs and curled into his chest. Yes, the mission had gone well. Yes, Tsunade was happy. Yes, he should be happy. But he wasn't. For some reason, Kakashi felt…lost…

He slid the gloves off his hand, chakra briefly spurting to ignite his bloodline. The blue-purple marks spiraled over his palms, stark and bold. Kakashi sighed and hid the limit, watching as the marks receded.

"Mind if I join you?"

Kakashi shrugged, and Iruka took it as a no. He sat down next to Kakashi, watching the sun sink below the horizon.

"You gonna be okay?"

Kakashi shrugged again. He didn't feel like talking to anyone at this point in time. Iruka edged closer and touched his hand.

"This hand holds Kurosaki blood…doesn't it?"

Kakashi gave Iruka no warning; his hand flashed out, slapping Iruka soundly across the face. He gave the Chuunin a glare as he slid back, away from Kakashi, stunned by the force of the blow. For a moment, Iruka just lay there, sucking in the wind that had been knocked out of him, and then he stood up and approached Kakashi again.

"I'm sorry."

Kakashi sighed. "I don't need your sympathy."

"I know you like to pretend you don't feel this, Kakashi, but you do-!"

Kakashi whirled on his right ankle, sweeping his left underneath Iruka's and kicking his feet out from under him. Iruka barely dodged the blow that followed, and Kakashi's fist began to crack the concrete.

"Kakashi, you feel this, I know you do!" Iruka cried. "Don't shut me out, let me help you!"

Kakashi flew at Iruka again, and Iruka began to panic, relying on instinct to slide the blows off. Kakashi was venting, and simply striking blindly at this point, and Iruka knew it. The jounin would eventually tire.

"Kakashi, you're being unreasonable now!" Iruka called, dodging yet another blow. Iruka knew he could die if one of Kakashi's fists struck him; he still held his ground. "You're acting like a child!"

Kakashi froze.

You're acting like a child…!

A small boy, face covered with a mask, a fresh scar over his closed left eye, sat alone.

"Stop acting like a child!"

A tear fell from only the left eye…

"Why are you being such a baby about this?"

"Live your life and leave us alone!"

"Don't ever come near me again!"

"Freak!"

"How dare you even show your face!"

"You're acting like a child…!"

child…child…child…

Memories, tearful memories…

Why me…?

"You killed Obito! I'm not your friend anymore!"

He lost his only friend that day…

"Kakashi…?"

Kakashi stormed past Iruka, hiding his face in shame.

How could I…?

OOOOOOOOO

Iruka watched as Kakashi simply ran off, the edges of his mask beginning to dampen. Sweat? Maybe…or maybe…

"Iruka!"

Iruka turned back to Tsunade, shaking his head. "He's gone, Tsunade-sama…I don't know why, but he fought me…I couldn't-"

"'Ru," Tsunade murmured. "It's okay." She slowly walked over to Iruka and put her arms around him. "I don't blame you. Kakashi has never been…tamable. No one could ever touch him…he was a free spirit. You have to let him go, or he will resent you for holding him down."

Iruka shook his head, accepting Tsunade's embrace. "I…I never tried to…he just…I might have said something…"

Tsunade sighed. "Come here, 'Ru."

Iruka sighed. "I have to find him. I want to apologize."

"Iruka, when Kakashi gets like this, he's dangerous. He'll hurt you, you know he will."

Iruka shrugged. "He can kill me if he likes. I just want to apologize."

"For what?"

"…For whatever I did."

"Iruka," Tsunade warned. "I am asking you now; I can make it an order. Please, just leave Kakashi alone. The cat always returns to the milk bowl, right?"

"He's not a cat, Tsunade-sama," Iruka murmured. "He's not even remotely domestic. You said it yourself; he's a spirit. And once you bridle him…that's it."

"He's broken already, 'Ru. No one needed to bridle him. You can't help him until he sorts himself out, otherwise he will kill you."

Iruka shoved Tsunade away. "I don't care anymore."

OOOOOOOOO

Yondaime-sama…where are you…?

I'm here. What's wrong?

Why am I here…?

A difficult question to answer. It is different for every person. You are currently wandering the spirit world, searching for your answer. You will not find it here.

Where can I find it? Sensei?

Kakashi, listen to Iruka. He only wants to be your friend. He didn't mean to hurt you.

I can't afford to be attached to anyone…I'm their death marker. Obito, Rin, you! Anyone who meets me meets his or her doom.

Kakashi, you are too hard on yourself.

Because of my blood, I am who I am. I can't ever change that. So why are you telling me I'm not who I am?


I never said that. I only told you that you are taking too much blame. You cannot help whom you hail from, that is true, and you cannot help whom you are related to, either. But you can help what you do about it.

Sensei…I miss you.

And Naruto misses his father.

Kakashi sighed. It was true; the Yondaime was Naruto's father. And no one knew.

Sensei…?

Hai?

…Why?

The fox?

Hai…

I had to. I couldn't let the fox destroy the village. There was no other way. At its present stage, the fox is nearly a deity.

There was no other way?

No.

Sensei…about the Uchiha…Itachi, his name is…you remember him?

Vividly.

He told me…I killed Obito…long ago…is this true?

Of course not. Don't you dare listen to that scum!

…Sensei…why?

Why what? The world may ask a question, but not a single person may ever know the answer.

Are you telling me I might never know…?

You may never know.

Anything?

The answer you seek. I see it, Kakashi, deep in your heart. You may never know.

Sensei!

I must go, Kakashi. Shinigami favors me, but he is easily angered. I have gained favor with him, but he only allows me to talk to you for several minutes at a time. Come here next week and look for me again.

Sensei!!
Don't worry Kakashi. Next week, I will be here.

Kakashi felt Yondaime push him back into the world, out of the dream state he had forced upon himself to talk to his former sensei. Kakashi slowly awoke, feeling the cramps of sleeping in such an awkward position for so long. He and Yondaime had talked for a while, and Kakashi had yet to find what he came seeking.

"Hatake Kakashi!"

Kakashi sighed and pushed himself to his feet. Tsunade and Iruka were probably worried sick. Tsunade was probably telling Iruka (wisely) to leave him be, but Iruka was most likely insisting he was going to find him, bar none. And Tsunade was going to end up chasing him all over creation, and Iruka was going to come back and tell him what an ass he was being, and not to scare them, and they would all treat him like a child and treat him like-

"Don't you ever-!"

Kakashi lashed out furiously at the Chuunin, catching him in the jaw and sending him skidding back across the ground. "I thought I made it perfectly clear to you to leave me alone," he hissed. "Don't approach me for the next forty-eight hours or I will take your head off. Is that clear?"

The trembling Iruka nodded feverishly, and Kakashi stalked off, sliding down the face of the mountain, passing Tsunade as he went.

"Make sure Umino is still alive. I think I scared him to death."

And he kept going.

OOOOOOOOO

Tsunade gulped at Kakashi's words. He probably wouldn't even have to touch Iruka to scare him senseless-Iruka was fragile; delicate. All Kakashi had to do was flex and Iruka's heart would stop beating. Id Kakashi had even admitted that he had scared Iruka on purpose…

Iruka was still alive when Tsunade got to the top of the mountain, but he was bleeding. An enormous bruise was rising on his cheek, an ugly purple and black. Tsunade's hands glowed with green chakra, and she healed the bruise in Iruka's face.

"You okay?"

Iruka sighed. "I'm not sure. I don't know what's with him! He just keeps-"

"'Ru, we went over this. He's in a mood, and he's dangerous when he's in the wrong mood. Leave him until he makes up his mind." Tsunade sighed. "If he's heading west, like he was when I last saw him, he'll be in the forest by now. I want ANBU after hi, and I'll declare him an S-ranked missing-nin until he is found."

Iruka's eyes widened. "Oh, please don't! He'll be so angry-"

"Whether or not he is angry, if he goes missing I can't do anything! Iruka, hear me now if never again, I forbid you as your Hokage to go after Kakashi. That's an order, small fry. Stay here, do whatever you feel like, but I forbid you to go after that jounin. He will use his skills against you, and you will die. Especially if he is angry at you, which I know he is. He won't hold back." Tsunade straightened, pulling Iruka up next to her. "That's why I'm going. I'm taking several squads of ANBU and that's that."

"Y-You're going to arrest him? Jeez, Tsunade-sama, do you have a death wish??!!!"

Tsunade sighed. "Let's go. I have to find that damn ninja before nightfall, otherwise I'll never find him. I'm not broadcasting this, so tell no one."

Iruka sighed. "Hai, Hokage-sama."

"Good," Tsunade said. "Go back to the village ahead of me and alert every ANBU there that I will need them. I'm going to take a quick look from a couple of places where I think he'll be, and from other high places to see if I can find him. Go, get all the ANBU you can find together, and I'll be there in about fifteen minutes."

Iruka took off, and Tsunade went the other way.

OOOOOOOOO

Kakashi ran.

He knew he would be declared a missing-nin if he didn't show up in twenty-four hours, and that there would be ninja coming after him, but he didn't care. He just needed to cover ground, fast.

He was confronting Orochimaru, now. He wasn't in the mood for any more crap, and he would suicide if they moved to take him back to Konoha. He was going for Otokagure-and fuck the damned world if anyone thought they could change that.

Could they understand that?

They would have to physically drag him back to Konoha in chakra chains to get him back there, and there was no way Kakashi would go quietly. He would not let anyone get in his way, especially if they wanted to stop him. No one was stopping him. He was regaining his clan's honor and wiping the impure branches of it from the world now.

Orochimaru was dying today.

A/N: Kakashi is missing…-dodges kunai and flames- Don't kill me! He will come back, though, just taking a detour…review please, no flames, I and my pet fire demon have had enough of that, and Sparky is getting fat off of flames…