Title: O… (is you're the only one I see…)
Category: House, MD
Pairing: House/Cuddy, mentions of Lucas/Cuddy
Genre: Romance
Set: 6x07 "Known Unknowns"
Rating: PG
Summary: Telling her the truth got a lot of his chest, but put a lot more on his mind.
AN: So sorry this is late. I spent most of Tuesday doing Christmas shopping, then had a friend stay over, was distracted most of Wednesday, Thursday was housework day, so it's finally here on Friday 13th… but hopefully the stuff in this chapter will offset the bad luck of the day.
AN2: Second part of the mini-arc, and I'm guessing you all can guess where it's going... anyways, this took me forever to write, so I hope you enjoy it.
Everything he'd said had been the truth. Sure, most of it sounded clichéd, but it had been the truth. He really had intended to call her after their sordid one night affair. He really would have tracked her down to see if they could have had a real relationship after that. Even if it didn't make sense that he'd abandoned those plans after he'd been expelled, shouldn't it matter that he'd had the plans in the first place?
Heaving a sigh, House followed Cuddy out of the party, ripping the ridiculous wig off and dropping it on the floor as he left.
"Cuddy…wait…" he called when he saw her. He really hoped that she'd wait for him, since it would be hard for him to catch up to her, no matter how fast he limped after her. A relieved smile quickly crossed his lips when she stopped to wait for him. She turned as he approached and his eyes apologized to her before his voice caught up. "If I… If what I said back there…scared you… I'm sorry… But I thought it was what you'd want to hear. It's all true, and I thought you wanted to hear it… I thought you'd want to know that I wanted something more than just that one night…"
Cuddy stared at him and he shut up, his eyes flickering around to look anywhere but at her face. He'd seen an opportunity to tell her how he felt, and he'd gone for it, and embarrassed them both. He hadn't meant to embarrass her…
"House… I… I did want you to say all that, but not right now… Not in the middle of everything else I have to process and deal with…" Cuddy gave an apologetic half smile. And especially not while I'm in a relationship… she added in her head. Sure, she realized that House was doing his best, and he was being honest; the look in his eyes as he'd said those things and been proof enough of the truth of what he'd said. But with Lucas, she didn't have to wonder if he was being honest. She knew he meant what he said. "I appreciate you being honest, though…"
"Cuddy… There's so much more I want to say to you, but it never comes out right. Every time I try to tell you the truth, it gets lost somewhere along the way…" House stuttered. He knew exactly how he felt about her, there was no longer a doubt in his mind about the woman in front of him. He loved her, more than he could ever put into words. But he couldn't tell her that…
"The truth about what, House? I thought all that back there," she gestured in the direction they had come from, "was the truth. What more could you have to tell me?" She had a feeling she knew, based on all the conversations they'd had since he'd left the asylum and come back to work.
"…" Here was his big chance. She wanted him to say it, but the words caught in his throat all over again. It was times like this that House wished he had rehearsed those three simple words to the mirror, or his pillow, or even the doctor-dressed bear in Wilson's office. And it wasn't something he could say to her without planning it. He had to plan for all possible outcomes before telling her, or any woman, something that important. "I… only came to the party because I knew you'd be there. And you were the only one I wanted to dance with… and…" he trailed off, figuring that his chicken-out point had been made. She was his reason for being here. And her potential reaction scared the hell out of him.
"You're only here…because I'm here…? House… that's…" she shook her head slowly. "That's insane. That's…"
"Completely true," House finished, stepping closer to her. He gulped, thinking she might take one step back for his every step forward, but she didn't move, just stared unblinkingly up at him. The look in her eyes struck a chord in his heart; it was a look of confusion and daring. A look that he'd only fantasized about seeing in her eyes again. A look that wanted to know what he wanted, but at the same time daring him to action before speech. He took the dare, swooping down on her lips, pressing a chaste and longing kiss to them. It surprised him enough to pull back when she didn't return the kiss. "I… I'm sorry, Cuddy… I…" he swallowed hard again, and turned to walk away.
He was stopped by a hand on his cane arm. His piercing blue eyes looked back into her bright blue-green ones, dark with uncertainty. "House…" she whispered. "Please don't do that again… I don't want either of us to get hurt…" House nodded once to her plea and gently tore his arm from her grip, turning back to walk away. He never thought it would hurt so much to hear her say that, but the pain of his heartbreak only made him more determined to win her heart all over again.
The next afternoon, he found himself at the door of her hotel room, ready to continue with his plan, despite the events of the previous night. He would take care of Cuddy's little girl, bond with her, be a father figure to Rachel, and once the child was hanging onto his lapel, and Lisa saw how much her little girl loved the man she herself had apparently sworn to hate… he would be in, and could work from that angle. Sure, using Rachel to get to Cuddy was highly underhanded and just a little bit selfish, but it was the only plan he had after last night's attempts had failed.
When it seemed as if this plan would fail and he was turning away, dejected and rejected once again, he heard it. The sound that he was sure would save him… he turned back into the room and his heart shattered in his chest.
This… couldn't be happening. Not this. Not him… anyone but him… House shook his head slowly in disbelief, the words of the bet he'd had with Lucas late last year coming back to him.
Let's see who gets there first…
House had failed. He'd got there too late. He'd missed his chance. Never mind the fact that he technically had 'gotten there first'…. twenty years ago first… but he sensed that that didn't count. So, he'd failed. He'd lost the woman he was born to love to another man because he couldn't say three simple words that probably came quite naturally to Lucas.
Giving Rachel a last glance, as if to tell the little girl that she better not get used to the man currently keeping her occupied, House turned to Cuddy, his heartbreak evident in his eyes. When she said nothing, he turned to leave. His ribs felt like they were being crushed in a vice and his heart was in pieces on the floor of his stomach.
If he compared it to the heart-wrenching pain he'd felt when Stacy had left him the first time, Cuddy's rejection of him rated a nine to Stacy's four. He hoped to never know how a ten would feel, especially if that ten was Cuddy.
He frowned hard as he returned to his and Wilson's room, his determination to win her back from the arms of the long-forgotten PI stronger than ever now that he knew who was keeping her from giving into him.
"This isn't over, Lucas… You haven't won yet…" he muttered to the air as he walked. He would win. He wouldn't stop until he had won. This was too important to him to let go. He wanted… needed… Lisa Cuddy in his life. If Rachel ended up tagging along, that would be perfectly fine with him. The girl needed a father, after all. And the simple fact that House was contemplating becoming the youngster's dearly-needed father figure was only proof of his deep love for the baby's adoptive mother. He loved Cuddy. Now if he could only say it out loud…
