None of the good bits belong to me, but if it is confusing, conflicting and little out there, throw the blame my way.
Chapter 7 – July Fireworks
It was hot outside but I was desperate to feel the sun on my skin. I had been staying indoors more often since the explosive scene in the parking lot of the police station in June. I understood the reasons for it, but I could feel the stir crazy itch and it was taking all my self control to not do something stupid.
I agreed to skip the parade this morning and in return the guys promised to secure the roof so that I could go up and watch the fireworks tonight. I figured it was better than nothing.
After we got a bead on Johnson's use of the office across from the station there were no sightings of him in a week so we turned the evidence over to the cops and they were able to get a warrant for the place. Of course, once they went in and gutted it to gather evidence, we knew we had lost that possibility of catching him. Now we were back at square one in not knowing where he was or when he would make his next move, but the general hope was that by letting the cops shut down his office that would force his hand and he would make a mistake.
My Dad had dropped a tin of cookies off and I put it in the box to go out tomorrow. I was going to see if Cal and I could drop it off on our way to swim. I had to get my kicks where I could and I dearly treasured getting out of the office every other day to swim at the aquatic center out of town. Since the pictures we discovered at Johnson's office told us we knew he had followed us there, our party of two in the pool also included an escort of two to watch the perimeter.
I was trying to perfect my breast stroke. I already knew what to do, but I liked to mess with Cal because anytime he said the word chest or breast to me his face turned red. It was a cheap thrill, but it made me smile just the same.
I decided to check in with my favorite Navel officer on-line. He had been on a four day op and I had been receiving his pre-sent massages to tide me over for the real thing, hopefully today.
"Hey Hal, I wish I had news to share. I wish I had an adventure where I was thrown around or pitched into garbage but I've got nothing. I don't have an escapade from my Grandma at the funeral parlor, or a story of a dysfunctional dinner with my parents. I'm feeling the walls of the building constrict. I'm trying not to let it get to me, but this is driving me insane."
I wanted to apologize for whining, but the last time I told Hal I was sorry about my tone he told me to never apologize for how I felt. Feelings couldn't be right or wrong, they just were what they were and he wanted to know about them.
"The good news is they are going to let me on the roof tonight at 9:00 to watch the fireworks up there. I'm looking forward to that little tradition at least. Will there be any fireworks where you are?"
I wondered if soldiers got the chance to celebrate the holiday they helped to preserve.
"I should warn you that your junk food stash is quickly dwindling. Hey, these are desperate times and certain measures had to be taken to keep me happy. Besides, isn't that the point of all the working out I've been doing lately? So that I can eat all I want and not have to pop the top button on my jeans."
"Anyway, I hope you come back safely today and had another successful mission. Any chance you are beginning to see the growth of a leader among the group? I know you've been worried about them without a master planner for the missions. I don't understand why you can't stay on to strategize the missions and then let them run the op once you've planned it out for them. That way you still have the thrill of using your skills to set it up, but the younger fish get to do the swimming. I'm sure there is a great reason why that wouldn't work, I was just curious."
I knew how much he enjoyed the work he was doing even if he no longer wanted to be away from home for so long or have the uncertainty of actually going off on the missions.
"I can't wait to get a real message from you. I love that you leave the others to drop in my box each day, but I know when they aren't live and I miss the extra bit of knowing you just ran your fingers over the keyboard trying to get what you want to say right then on the screen. Be careful, and I'll talk to you soon. I miss you. Love, Steph."
With that done I ran upstairs to check on my in-box for any outstanding searches to keep me busy. Three hours later I was done and desperate for something to do. I tried taking a nap, but couldn't get comfortable and none of the movies in Hal's apartment were hitting me as interesting enough to sit through.
Finally, I decided I'd had enough. I wanted to go back to my old apartment, which I'd been hanging onto in the hope of getting Johnson behind bars in order to give me my freedom. I needed to pick up some more summer things since it seemed the hot weather was here to stay and I was tired of wearing the few things I'd picked up last month.
I called the control room and asked who was on Bomber duty. Apparently Bobby and Vince had pulled the short straw for the day and I called them to see if they wanted to take a drive over with me.
Half an hour later I was going up the steps to my old apartment. It had been so long since I had been there it felt like I was visiting instead of returning now.
Vince and Bobby entered my apartment ahead of me and swept through, guns drawn, before announcing it was clear and I could enter. It felt odd to be in the musty apartment that was technically my home. Everything was as I left it, plus a nice coating of dust.
I walked straight into my bedroom, picked up my small duffle and began the process of pulling out the rest of my summer clothes from my dresser. As an afterthought I decided to pull a few dresses out of the closet and few more pairs of shoes. That was when I saw a problem.
When I looked at the bottom of my closet none of the boxes were where I remembered them. There were no loose pairs of shoes on the floor and when I began to open the containers they were all empty. "You have got to be kidding me!" I yelled causing Vince and Bobby to run in where I was sitting on the floor.
"What's wrong?" They asked at the same time.
"All of my shoes are gone." I told them through gritted teeth. "Who steals shoes? I mean it is one thing to blow up a car, but stealing someone's shoes is personal."
"How do you know it was Johnson?" Vince asked just as I was checking the final empty box.
I held it open so they could see the note lying in the bottom which read, "I don't like it when you let other guys cut in."
I grabbed my extra bathing suit from the top of my closet and a matching sarong and coverall cramming them in my duffle with a huff. "I need to get out of here," I said near tears.
I knew I shouldn't be so upset over a closet of shoes, but those were some of my favorites. I had enjoyed shopping for them, and in some cases had sacrificed to be able to afford them. Heck, several pair had never been worn! I was mad, and irritated, and felt like this was getting too close to home.
Bobby and Vince got me out of the apartment and to Haywood in record time. When we got there a few of the guys were in the garage coming in from their morning duties. As soon as our SUV came to a stop I grabbed my bag and jumped from the car dashing to the stairs. I could hear Les asking Bobby what was wrong with me.
Bobby told him simply, "Johnson stopped by her apartment first and stole all her shoes."
"That's not good," Les replied.
"You got that right," Vince commented as the door to the stairwell slammed behind me.
I got into Hal's apartment and sat down in front of my computer. Banging the keys hard enough I might have damaged the laptop I began to beat out an e-mail.
"Hey Hal, I have to vent. Right up front, I'm sorry for taking this out here, but I needed to talk to some one. I went back to my apartment (with Bobby and Vince as my back up) to get a few more summer things and as an afterthought decided to get some shoes too. All was well, except that Johnson apparently thought it would be a good idea to steal all my shoes. What in the hell does a stalker need with FMP's? There were dozens of pairs of heals, sandals and my favorite boots. Now they're all gone. I can't even begin to imagine how much money that footwear represented."
I was trying really hard to keep the swearing to a minimum.
"Shit!" I typed.
That one slipped out.
"Shit, shit, shit!"
Those were more for therapeutic purposes.
"I have one pair of black heels here and the blue shoes that match the dress I'm saving for our date to Rossini's. That is it. On top of that I'm practically on lock down and can't go shoe shopping with a contingent of Merry Men scowling at the ladies in the shoe department."
I wondered if he knew I referred to the guys as Merry Men. It seems irrelevant though in the middle of my rant.
"I have tried being a good sport. I found where he was hiding, but that apparently did us no good as I am still here and Johnson is still free to roam around stealing $200 pairs of shoes. There has got to be a way to get this guy. I mean, he's entirely too good to be a real estate developer. Something is fishy and I am irritated that I can't figure out what it is."
I was beginning to calm down; I'm not sure if it was because I was telling this to Hal or because I was hitting the keys hard enough to get out my frustration.
"I think I'm going to swallow my pride and go see Cal. He told me when I got too confined and worked up the next time he would put some boxing gloves on me and teach me how to work out my frustration on a punching bag. I think that would be a good idea or I'm going to unintentionally lash out at the next person that tries to talk to me. Then I would have guilt on top of whatever this is I have now."
I hated it when I jumped on someone for totally unrelated reasons and I knew I was a blow-up waiting to happen.
"I'm sorry to dump it all on you now. I just wanted to tell somebody and when I got back to your apartment you were the only one I wanted to talk to. I hope your 4th is turning out a little better than mine. Love you, Steph."
I did find Cal in the gym and his face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning when I told him what I wanted to do.
"I've been waiting for this, and from the look on your face, you are ready for it too." He replied.
An hour later my arms were too heavy to lift, my legs were beginning to burn and I had briefly forgotten all about the shoes. I wouldn't admit to it but I could see the attraction for the guys to spend so much time working out with the punching bag.
Cal pulled me to him for a big sweaty hug. "You did good, kid. Hal isn't going to know what he's coming home to when he sees you the next time. You should be really proud of yourself. I know I'm proud of you."
When he said that, I melted. I know the world saw my guys as big thugs, but to me they were magic. They always kept me safe and they knew exactly what to say and when I needed to hear it.
I stretched as high as I could and pulled Cal's head down the rest of the way to kiss the flaming skull on his forehead. "I needed that," I confessed.
Then Cal let me go with a slight pink tint to his cheeks. Big softies!
By 9:00 I was ready to explode and wondered if the guys were going to let me watch the fireworks or if their protective barrier would keep me from enjoying myself. When I got up to the roof some of the guys were casually sitting on the benches that were affixed around the edge and a few were on the rooftop itself.
I plopped down between Bobby and Les and stretched my legs out in front of me.
"Beautiful, I also knew we could make great fireworks together," Les said with a typical wag of his eyebrows. I laughed as his mannerism gave him the effect of being a sexy, Latino Marx Brother. I'm not sure he would have appreciated the reference.
I only had to sit still for a couple of minutes before the display began. I find it to be thrilling every year seeing the colors paint the sky with loud booms and sparkling colors. It was a perfectly clear night and the fireworks lit the night canvas perfectly leaving me with my hand over my chest by the end of the big finale.
I rested my head on Les' shoulder half way through and felt content being with good friends, enjoying a once a year treat, and sitting outside in the open air.
Bobby pulled me out of my trance as the last colors twinkled away by poking me in the hip.
I turned to glare at him for interrupting my fun but he kept pointing and asked, "Aren't you going to answer that?"
Realizing my phone was ringing I jumped up to grab it from my belt.
"Hello?" I said quickly hoping I had not missed my caller.
"Hey Steph, Happy Fourth of July." Came my new favorite voice.
"Hal! Happy Fourth of July to you too." I replied.
Some of the guys realized who I was talking to and yelled out greetings which Hal got a kick out of. As much as I wanted him to know the guys missed him too, I was anxious to have his undivided attention so I promptly dashed to the stairs to retreat back to his apartment. My departure was met with a few cat calls and rude assumptions about what we would be discussing.
"Hey, you just ran down all the stairs and you don't even sound out of breath." Hal joked.
"I told you, I'm getting in shape. I want to be able to keep up with you when you get back." I countered knowing there was no way I could.
"I'm sorry about your shoes." Hal began.
"I'm still irritated about it, but I'm trying to put it perspective, they were only shoes. Since I used my Macy's charge for most of them I can get back up to prove I really had a shoe budget that large and submit it to my insurance company." I told him my plan.
"When you are ready to begin replacing them you should ask Hector to take you shopping. He might not look like he would blend in, but Ella once said he had better taste than her in women's fashion. If you have to have an escort, it should at least be someone who understands the thrill of shopping." He offered.
"Hmm, I can't picture shopping with Hector, he doesn't speak English." I thought aloud.
"Maybe not, but if can speak shoes does it matter?" Hal laughed and I sat back to absorb the sound.
Apparently I sighed as Hal asked, "What was that sound for?"
"I'd forgotten what it was like to hear your voice. I've missed you." I answered honestly before my editor had a chance to kick in.
"I've only got twenty-one weeks more to go if they keep me the whole time." He said making me smile at the idea he was counting down the days just like I was.
"Is there a chance you'll get done early?" I hoped.
"There is always a chance. We have a mission tomorrow that's a search and rescue. Apparently a couple of Army guys got in trouble and are believed to be held in a place that would require our skills to extract them. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but we won't come back until we have found them." He began.
"Then I know there is one other mission. There is a person of interest that they government is watching. If they get Intel on them in time to call us in I might be a part of the team to capture that person. If that happens before my contract is up then I think they would release me after the standard debriefing. If it doesn't then I'm stuck here until December." I couldn't believe he just shared all that with me.
Is it okay that you just told me all of that?" I wondered.
"I didn't really give you any details except that I'll be gone tomorrow on a somewhat risky mission and that I can't tell you when I'll return. On the other one I don't think I said enough to give you any classified information." He explained.
"I'm just not used to you guys telling me anything about your ops." I told him.
"I don't like keeping stuff from you, but I know you understand the restrictions I'm under. If my contract doesn't forbid it, I'll share everything I can." I liked that answer.
We continued to talk for a couple of hours and all too soon he said he had to report back to his side of the base.
There was an awkward silence where neither of us seemed willing to say goodbye.
Finally Hal spoke up, "Steph, I need to tell you something and I'm not saying it to scare you or push you, but I have to say it."
I was instantly nervous, "You can tell me anything Hal, you know that don't you?"
"Tomorrow, the mission I'm going on is dangerous. It's not an easy place to get in or out of and there are hostiles all over. I can't go into that scenario without knowing I've been honest with you. When I left Trenton I thought while I was gone I could get to know you via e-mail. I assumed we'd write regularly, I was hoping for once a week and you would come to see I was an okay guy. My goal had been to get to know you well enough that when I returned I could ask you out."
"I think we've got that covered already," I interrupted.
"We do," He agreed. "I had no idea it would be so easy to get to know you and when we started this despite what I thought I knew, I had no idea what an amazing woman you are. You are absolutely my best friend and in case something happens while I'm gone," He paused.
"Well, I need you to know that I love you. Not like a sister, not as just my friend, but as a man who sees the incredible person you are. No matter what, I wanted you know that I love you."
Tears were streaming down my face. "Hal, I can't listen to you tell me about the possibility of you not coming back. I've gotten to know you really well too and I've never met a man your equal. I can tell you I love you too because I have gotten to know you with nothing else clouding my perception. I am counting down the days until you come back to me. Besides, we have a date at Rossini's, and you are man of your word, so you have to be back for that. Got it?"
I could hear the lightness return to his voice, "Yes, ma'am." He joked before getting serious again. "You aren't just saying it to send off a sailor in style, are you?"
"Trust me; those words have always stuck in my throat in the past so that I really had trouble saying them. But for you they came out because they are true. I need you to come back to me, okay?"
"I've never had a reason like this to come back before." He assured me.
After a few more moments, we finally ended our call.
The next day I woke up and had a good cry about Hal being gone, the mess with Johnson and even shed a few happy tears over knowing Hal loved me. Then I jumped in the shower and pulled myself together. If Hal was going to parts unknown today to face who knows what, I could go upstairs and battle my in-box for a while before Cal took me swimming.
I decided to pull together his next box because it was filling up. Hector had put two CDs in there so I wrapped them in bubble wrap to insure they made it safely. Les had put in some children's toy soldiers with a note pointing out, "When kids think of saving they world they are always dressed in green, not blue." Cal put my swim log for June in. He tracked how long I swam total, the speed for certain distances and other stats about my performance. He told me he had it and one day he would explain it to me, but he thought Hal would like to see what I was doing too. I had no context to understand the information so I put it in without bothering to look it over. Tank had given me a biography on a World War II Admiral so I gave it a safe spot right under the box of cookies from my Mom.
I finally broke down and told her about how Hal ate her cookies and she laughed about it before going into to the kitchen and grabbing the ingredients to make him more. I couldn't wait to bring him to my parents' house so she could feed him in person. I knew he would be welcome. My mother expressed love through her kitchen and there was no doubt her kitchen was open for Hal.
After I taped it up Junior walked by and offered to take it to the post office for me. "You know they have special boxes they can give you for mailing stuff to active service people. It has its own military mail rate too. Do you want me to pick some boxes up?"
I didn't realize the post office did anything special for these packages, I hadn't mailed any of them myself, the guys always volunteered to do it for me. "That would be great, if you don't mind. Thanks Junior." I suddenly felt bad about getting him in trouble when I ditched him for Lula to go to the mall.
Ten days passed and I was going through Hal withdrawal. He had arranged for seven days of e-mails to arrive. Each one gave me a little story about himself I didn't know. When the seventh one arrived he said he only had one more prepared and had set it to come two weeks from his departure if he didn't make it back first. I understood the implied message that if he wasn't back in two weeks he thought there was a chance he wasn't coming back.
Fourteen days after he left I woke up refusing to check my e-mail. I was half afraid his note was there and I couldn't face what it would mean if it was. I decided to go about my normal day and I would try to gather up my courage to look tonight.
I did a good job of focusing on my computer screen and being productive until a hush fell across the communications floor. That sound usually meant one thing – Ranger was back.
He had been in the wind since the day after our bust on Johnson's apartment in June. I stood up to see him approaching my cubicle. Ranger was in his typical uniform but he looked different. He had lost some weight, had his arm in a sling and was walking with an obvious limp. He nodded to the guys as they spoke to him but his eyes continued to focus on me.
When he was within two feet of me I closed the distance and put my hand on his cheek. "Welcome home, Ranger," I told him looking in his eyes.
His good arm quickly wrapped around my waist and he pulled me hard to him. "Babe," He whispered as he drew a deep breath over my hair. "It's good to be home."
When he pulled back a little he took my hand in his and gave me a half smile. "Will you come into my office? There is something I need to show you."
I was instantly on edge. I allowed Ranger to lead me to his office by the hand feeling the stares of the guys following us there.
When we walked in he dropped my hand to shut the door, motioning for me to sit on the couch.
"Babe, what I'm about to tell you can't leave this room. Do you understand?" He asked with his blank face clearly in place.
I nodded feeling my stomach tighten as I did so.
"My last mission did not go well," he said looking down at the sling supporting his arm. "The Intel we were operating from was faulty, intentionally fed to the government to give some terrorists a chance to capture US soldiers to use as a bargaining chip."
I put my hand on his good arm hoping it would encourage him to go on.
"My guys and I assumed we would be stuck there until the angels came because we knew the government wasn't coming after us." He continued. "Then three days ago, in the middle of the night, we heard some scuffling outside the cell where we were being held. The door was kicked open and in walked a face you would recognize that I can't name because it is classified."
He paused looking at me to see if I understood what he was saying.
"That familiar face and his team rescued us, swam us to a rendezvous point and got us to a base for medical attention. They stood guard outside our door until my CO came to release them. Before they left I had a chance to talk to one of the rescuers." My stomach loosened a bit and my heart began to beat faster.
Ranger put his hand in his sling and pulled out a flash drive handing it to me. This does not exist but I took these for you. I had a chance to talk to the person on that drive. He wanted me to know when his contract is up he intends to spend the rest of his life with you. He wanted me to know how he felt and I have to tell you I was floored. The man rarely talks, even by my standards, but he had a lot to say about you. If you feel half of what he does I think the two of you will be very happy together."
I started to open up my mouth to thank him and reassure him that I did feel the same way, but Ranger put his finger over my lips to stop me.
"Remember," He explained. "This conversation did not happen. I've never broken the rules regarding classified information, but I couldn't refuse to pass along the message that is on that drive. I owed it to him, and Babe, I owed it to you."
I placed a soft kiss on Ranger's cheek breathing in the smell of him as I slowly pulled away.
Before I opened the door I said, "Thank you, Ranger. And, I'm so glad you're home. Nothing is the same without you here."
"Babe," Was his singular reply.
I practically ran out of Ranger's office, down the stairs and to Hal's apartment.
Pushing the flash drive gently in the lap top as it booted up I tapped my fingers impatiently on the table while it took its sweet time loading.
The disk contained three files. The first was a Word document. It read, "Babe, I took these pictures with a camera I keep on me when I'm on assignment so the quality isn't great, but I thought you might like them anyway. I spent some time with Hal and can tell you that I think he will be good for you. I don't say it lightly because I have trouble thinking of any of the guys with you. There is a piece of me that always thought you and I would be together, but it wasn't meant to be. We both know this. You mean the world to me and I will stop at nothing to protect you, to watch you grow and fly. Having done this since I've known you is the single thing I am most proud of. But Hal can give you the things I cannot. He can fly with you and I see now how much you need that. I can't answer any questions about this, but I hope it puts your mind at ease. He loves you. You have one hundred percent of a great man. It's only because I think he's worthy that I am happy for you." It wasn't signed, but there was doubt who wrote the letter.
The other two files were photos. The first was of Hal looking over the edge of a non-descript boat. It was either daybreak or dawn and I could see nothing but ocean behind him. He was wearing what appeared to be a wet suit that he had pulled his arms out of and the top half was hanging at his waist onto his legs. His chest was bare, bronze and wonderful. His hair was a little shorter than when he left, but it wasn't a standard buzz that a lot of the guys wore. It was standing up in a few places and I ran my fingers over the monitor as though I could fix it for him.
The other photo showed Hal in the hall talking to someone. It gave me a chance to see his entire face. He was business like and his eyebrows were drawn together showing that he was seriously considering what ever was being told to him. Again I touched the wrinkle of his brow as though I could smooth it away.
I felt the tears pouring down my checks and enjoyed the feeling. These were born of relief and joy and love.
I loved the man in the picture in front of me. Ranger understood that and supported me. Breaking his usual silence about his mission and giving me his opinion of Hal was like receiving his blessing. Now all I had to do was wait the 18 weeks until Hal returned.
A/N: To all of my readers, I can't thank you enough for all your support and reviews. Because I tend to update rather often I wanted to warn you that I leave at dawn tomorrow for two weeks in North Carolina on vacation with my husband and young boys. I will try to continue writing as time allows, but please understand that my youngest is 2 and it is hard to find much uninterrupted writing time. It is still my goal to complete this story while I'm on vacation, but my postings may be sporadic. Sorry!
