Adam had never been the type of person to become speechless easily. There hadn't been a lot of moments in his life that it had happened at all. He wasn't so familiar with the way that his thoughts mushed into one or the way that the words got all jumbled up right when they were on the tip of his tongue. It was always when a hospital bed came into sight. He recognised that pattern. They made him uneasy.

The feeling had only hit him once before, that he could remembered, in Chicago Med, and it was because of Kim. Adam had always hoped that he would never be in that position again, but sitting next to Erin brought it all back without warning.

It wasn't because he was scared or because he was worried. Of course he was. But that wasn't the problem. He wasn't even sure whether or not it was just because one of his best friends was lying flat out with a sling and a neck brace, and a dozen cuts and scrapes, not to mention the millions of other tubes and wires that were protruding from places that he couldn't even see. The sight was unsettling, but it wasn't the cause.

It was Erin's silence that fuelled his own. He had known that she wasn't going to be in good shape. Everything that he had heard from the EMT's and the firefighters that had been on sight told him that she wasn't going to be in good shape, not to mention the few things that Jay had updated him with. Adam had just hoped that when he stopped by Erin would be better than he expected. He had imagined that there would be quips and jokes flying about the room like live ammunition on a busy day out in the field, but there wasn't a lot that either of them had to say.

She was awake. They had exchanged hello's when he had walked in, but that was the extent of the conversation. Adam could see that she was doing okay. He just didn't know why things were so quiet.

"So how are you holding up?" He felt stupid for asking but he had to ask something, even if he was forcing the words out of his throat. He had seen photographs of the scene. There wasn't very many ways that she could reply without lying.

Erin coughed, clearing her throat to answer Adam. She winced as the vibrations travelled through her body. There was only so much that the pain medication could do for her. Adam frowned, immediately guilty for making her speak. "I've been better."

Adam smiled. It was good to hear her voice properly. "Yeah. I think that we all have."

"The sooner that I get this surgery over and done with, the better," Erin said, letting a lazy smirk creep onto her face. She was struggling to keep her eyes open again but she forced herself to keep going. It was good to talk to someone that wasn't a doctor or a nurse, or someone that was holding himself responsible for what had happened. It was easier to hold herself together when she was distracted. "You guys will be wreaking havoc on the city while I'm out of the game. Gotta get back sooner rather than later."

Ruzek let out a sigh of relief as her words, chuckling breathily before he spoke again. Hospitals always seemed to suck the personality right out of a conversation. He was grateful that it was slowly drifting back into theirs. "I can't promise you anything there." Adam glanced back to the closed door that was a little behind him. Jay hadn't said much to him as he had handed him the small bag. The detective had walked swiftly into the small bathroom with his clothes and toiletries without a second thought. Adam hadn't taken it personally. "How is he?"

Erin opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself immediately. There wasn't much that she could say to him. She wasn't sure whether or not it would be better to tell Adam the truth of the situation. Though if Ruzek couldn't see what was happening with his best friend himself then she would be shocked. "I know that he's trying to put on a brave face for me." She stopped again, inhaling deeply. It felt like her jaw was being weighed down more and more whenever she tried to say something. As though her brain was telling her body to conserve its energy. "I can see right through it. He's so worried about me. About everything. I appreciate it more than I could ever tell him but he's leaving nothing for himself. I think it's because he blames himself in a way."

"He blames himself?" Ruzek frowned at the brunette's words. He couldn't understand how Jay could possibly blame himself. They had been together when he had gotten the call. There was nothing that any of them could have done to prevent it. "What do you mean?"

"You know him as well as I do," Erin sighed. Adam nodded along. "He likes to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. He wants to fix my problems like their his problems." Adam knew that it was try. Knowing Jay, he was probably feeling guilty for not being able to go into the operating theatre himself with a scalpel and the medical knowledge to use it. "I need you to do me a favour."

"Anything," Adam said immediately. It was the least that he could do for her.

"Just look out for him," Erin said, closing her eyes momentarily. "Please."

Adam's eyebrows furrowed. It had gone without saying. The brunette hadn't even needed to ask him. He had been in that mindset ever since the night before. It was one of the only things, besides Erin's own well being, that he had been worrying about. "Of course, Er. Of course."

It didn't matter how persistent Erin was in wanting Jay to take a break from being around her and being in the hospital, she couldn't deny how anxious she was over him going back to the district and being around Voight. If what he had told her about when he spoken to the older man, or the way that he had acted when he had come back, was anything to go by then she was sure that their next encounter was going to be plain sailing. Erin had been angry at first. She couldn't think of anything that could have been more important to Voight than making sure that she was okay. It wasn't Erin being obnoxious, or self-absorbed. With everything that had happened, she was all that Hank had left.

She didn't want to think about any of that anymore. She didn't want to think about any of it.

"Don't let him start something with Voight," Erin said. "I don't think I can cope with any more drama."

Adam knew that things weren't right between them. The way that Jay had acted the night before was enough to tell him that, but he was as much in the dark as anyone else was. Voight had been quiet at the district. The older man generally kept to himself on quieter days, and with everything that had been happening with Justin and his family, they had seen it coming, but there was an indescribably tension that filled the room whenever he was in it.

They all wanted to know what had been going on before Erin's accident. They wanted to know why they had been set up to check out an address - why they had been sent out on some wild goose chase and no explanation as to where Voight was. They wanted to know what Erin had freaked out over on the phone and they wanted to know where the older man had been when it was all going down. They wanted to know where Erin had been coming from when she had crashed. They had so many questions that were nowhere near being answered.

But they knew how Voight was. They knew that his way of dealing with cases wasn't always kosher. As much as they wanted to know the truth of what had happened the night before, they sure as hell weren't going to hassle their boss about it or their friend who was now trapped in a hospital bed. So Adam stayed quiet about it. He knew that causing a fuss wasn't going to land them anywhere good.

It was the soft click of the door opening behind him that commanded his attention before he could open his mouth again and put Erin's mind at ease. The sound dragged him away from the conversation that was in front of him and away from the worry that had settled in the brunette's eyes. They both looked to Jay immediately, though Erin couldn't see much of him out of her peripheral vision, but his eyes were focused solely on his partner. There wasn't much that a change of clothes could have done to make things alright, but Jay looked better than he had when he had entered the bathroom. Though, there wasn't a lot that could have been done to make him look any worse. Adam had almost thought for a second that he had been transported into the future when he met his friend. He didn't think it was possible for someone to age so much in a few hours.

They could both smell his deodorant from where they were sitting. It made Adam scrunch up his nose slightly but neither of the other two noticed. The scent made Erin forget for a second where she was. Adam hadn't been able to go over to Jay's place to get stuff for him. After his apartment had been trashed he had taken his spare key out from under the rug and vowed never to leave one lying around where someone else could find it, and Adam hadn't had one of his own. In his rush, he had pulled together a few things of his own in the hope that they would be okay for the detective. The t-shirt that he had grabbed was a good enough fit that nobody would even notice that Jay had borrowed it from someone else. Adam was just grateful that he had done his laundry a few days before.

The change in deodorant though, Erin noticed. It was one that she remembered Jay using only a handful of times, but it was fresh enough in her mind for a memory to come flooding back into her mind. She couldn't remember any precise details. She couldn't remember when it had been or what they had been doing together. Though she could imagine what they had been doing. She could just remember laying in bed with him, her head resting on her chest and very little worries clouding her head. She almost felt sad as the image drifted back into her mind. Erin wished that they could back their now. They had been so content - so happy with each other. Nothing else had mattered.

"You know that I'm only a phone call away if you need me," Jay said. He sat the bag that Ruzek had given him down next to the cabinet beside the bed. Giving her a tight smile, he took a few slow steps towards her. "It doesn't matter if you think that it's stupid or dumb, or even if you just want to say 'hey'."

Erin snorted slightly. She couldn't help but laugh a little at her boyfriend's words. She could never get used to how much he cared. "It's only for a few hours. You're not going to war, Halstead."

"Going back out there would be easier than this," Jay replied, smiling at her comment. "Just call me if you need me."

"Okay," she sighed contently.

"How are you feeling now? Do you need anything before I go?"

Erin smiled. "I feel the same as I did ten minutes ago when you asked me." As much as she didn't want him to be, the brunette couldn't help but find it cute how worried he became about her. He only frowned at her words. She sighed again, realising that he wouldn't be happy unless he was certain everything was alright. "I feel good." Erin knew that her attempts at reassuring him wouldn't do much good. It wasn't like he was going to believe her but she had to try anyway. "I'll feel even better after I'm out of the operating theatre and we start getting back to normal."

"Yeah, well it might be a while before that happens." Jay shook his head at his own words. He couldn't help but try and stop himself from thinking about the future. Their future. He wasn't ready. "One step at a time."

"One step at a time," Erin repeated.

Jay nodded. "And I'll be back before you even wake up."

"I know you will."

Adam cleared his throat suddenly, rising to his feet and moving away quickly from the pair. He stopped at the bottom of her bed, tapping the railing in an awkward rhythm and giving them a smile. "I'll just get you down there, Halstead." He realised that it was probably best to give them their privacy while they said goodbye to each other. The last thing that he wanted to do was be weird, sitting there and waiting for them to finish. "It was really good to see you, Erin."

"You too man," she replied, attempting to look down at where he was standing. She had clicked on to what he was doing as soon as he had moved. It was funny. It didn't matter how long her and Jay had been seeing each other, she always forgot that everyone else knew about them too. They kept their personal lives so separate from work that sometimes everyone else forgot about them too. Even when they were hanging out with the guys at Molly's they tried to keep PDA at a minimum. But at times like these they didn't care about that at all. "Really."

Ruzek smiled. "We're all thinking about you back at the district. A lot of people have been asking about you. When you're up for it I'm sure that there are a lot more people that are going to want to come and visit you."

"I'm looking forward to it."

The officer gave her a slight nod as he turned his back to open the door. It wasn't just a goodbye not. It was a comforting nod. It was a nod that told Erin that Adam was going to do his best to keep his word and stick to everything that they had spoken about. It was a nod that told her that Jay was going to be okay. Before he left, Adam took one final glance at the brunette. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she was more than grateful.

The detectives watched as he disappeared into the corridor and out of sight. They both paused for a moment, looking back to each other for a few seconds before Jay broke the silence. "I should get going. I don't want to leave him waiting," he sighed. He didn't want to go. They both knew that he didn't want to go. There was nothing that Jay wanted more than to stay with her and to hold her hand until his girlfriend was wheeled away to surgery, but it was for the best that he went now.

"Jay," she replied suddenly. He could tell by her tone of voice that something wasn't right. Erin took a deep breath, leaving him in suspense. She wasn't sure how what she was going to say would go down. She didn't want it to lead to another argument or confrontation, but she wouldn't be happy unless she got it out. "Just don't do anything stupid."

"What?"

"Don't be reckless. Don't do anything stupid." He chuckled slightly at her words. He had thought that she was just apprehensive about him being out in the world, where anything could happen to him, after what had happened to her the previous night. His shoulders dropped at the words that left her mouth next. "Especially with Voight." He looked away from her for the first time since he had come out of the bathroom. "I know that you're mad at him for not coming to the hospital, but I'm not anymore so you shouldn't be either. You don't know him the way that I know him."

Jay frowned, his eyebrows plummeting intensely down. "How can you expect me to go back to the district and pretend that we're all one big happy family? It's not just about the hospital. It's about everything that went down last night. It's about the stuff that we-." Jay stopped himself. He didn't want to ask her about what had happened before she crashed. She already was facing paralysis, he didn't want to add more stress to the mix. He just knew that she knew a lot more than any of them did. "The stuff that I don't know about. He can't keep going around acting the way that he always does and expect us not to ask any questions. If he turns up and can't explain himself - I just don't know how I'm supposed to stop myself."

"You have to," she pleaded. "I need you both. I don't know how I'm supposed to cope..."

"You have me."

"Please Jay. Just do it for me."

He let out a long, deep breath and looked back to her. "I'll try."

She reached her hand out to meet his and held it lightly in her own. "Promise me."

"You don't know how proud I am of you." He squeezed her hand slightly in reassurance. He couldn't understand how she was holding herself together so well. He couldn't understand how she could forgive Voight so easily. He just knew that he would do anything that she wanted him to do. It was the least that he could do for her. Jay smiled at the thought. "You are amazing."

"Shut up," she chuckled, her face settling back into a worried expression. "I'm serious."

"I'm serious too, Er." He let go of her hand, moving it towards her face to pull a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. He let his hand rest on her cheek for a few seconds, their tired eyes meeting. "I am completely in love with you Erin Lindsay. You know that right?"

The novelty of hearing the words out loud hadn't even begun to wear off yet. There was still something about it that made butterflies flutter in her stomach though she wasn't sure whether or not it was just the incisions from her first surgery playing up. Either way, she wasn't going to get tired of it anytime soon. Erin gave him a lazy grin. "I know."

Jay leaned down slowly, placing a gentle kiss on her mouth. It was over far too quickly than either of them wanted it to be. He paused for a moment and let his forehead press carefully against her own before placing a final kiss on it and standing back up straight. "I'll see you soon."

"It's not like I'm going anywhere."

Erin watched as he slowly moved away from her. Jay snuck a few glances at his partner before he reached the door. It was as though they were both trying to drag out the moment for as long as they possibly could. He gave her a small, lopsided smile, much like the one he had given her when he had walked out of the bathroom earlier that morning. Each time that Jay prepared to leave the room, leave his partner, leave his girlfriend - he found it harder and harder to go. Without another word, he opened the door quickly and after looking back at the brunette one final time, he walked through and closed it behind him. Jay knew that if he left it much longer he would have changed his mind completely.

The silence was strange for her. It wasn't as though she wasn't used to it or anything. It was just that when Erin had been alone in the past few hours, she hadn't thought very much of it at all. Her mind had been so consumed with thoughts of her diagnosis and thoughts of Justin that even in the silence, there was so much noise surrounding her. It was the silence now that made her realise just how much she had been holding her true feelings in. With everyone finally gone, there wasn't anything to distract her from the quiet filling the room. In a way though, it was nice. It brought about a new sense of calmness that she was grateful for. Though Erin wasn't sure if it was just the painkillers. It didn't matter much to her.

She pressed one of the buttons that was resting by her uninjured hand and waited patiently for another wave of pain relief to wash over her body. She hadn't realised just how much she had been putting on a brave face for Adam when he had stopped by. She hadn't wanted to give him any more cause for concern that seeing her in her condition already would. Erin couldn't imagine how difficult it must have been for others to see her in the state that she was in. She hadn't seen herself yet but she could only imagine how she must have looked with all of the tubes and wires and newly formed bruises.

The last thing that she wanted to do was make Jay any more paranoid than he already was either. If she would have winced even slightly, then she was sure that he would have refused to leave her side at all. Erin just didn't want to worry anyone. She knew that she could take the pain though there was only so much that the morphine could do for her.

Her shoulder ached from the dislocation and she was desperate to move it from it's place - pressed tightly against her chest in a constricting sling. Her head still throbbed from the brightness of the lights surrounding her and the constant stimulation. The silence made her realise that too. The discomfort in her body was unlike anything that she had felt before but she didn't want to complain any more than she already had. Erin knew that there was far worse coming her way, and that it was better just to grit her teeth and bear it. Everything that she was feeling was only from the waist up anyway. There wasn't much that she could do to forget that detail.

Erin took a few deep breaths, pushing away the pain. Her mind drifted back to her partner though he had only just left. She couldn't help it. She wondered if he would remember to check out the kid that had crashed into her when he got back to the district. She knew that she should have asked Adam too. Jay may have left but Erin was certain that her partner's mind was still with her. She just didn't want Justin to get in any trouble. He was just a kid. Erin just wanted to know that he was okay. Life was too short to spend your life paying for stupid mistakes.

The brunette thought about texting Jay to remind him but she realised quickly that she didn't even know where her phone was. When she had been brought into the emergency room she had been taken out of her own clothes quickly. Or cut out of them. She couldn't even remember. All she knew was that she hadn't seen any of her belongings since. Erin just hoped that wherever they were, her cell phone would be right there too.

She didn't want to bother any of the nurses to ask about it. It wouldn't be long until they were back to prep her for surgery anyway. If they knew where her cell phone was, and it still had charge left in it, then she would at least send a quick text to Jay before her surgery to put his mind at ease.

It wasn't as though she could get up and look for it herself.

The door clicked open suddenly. Erin was too tired to try and look down. Her eyes were still struggling to stay open so they remained glued to the ceiling above her.

"Halstead," she smiled. "You know when I said that I wanted you to get out of here it was for a few hours, not a few minutes, right?"

Silence.

"Hey kiddo." A voice filled the room.

Erin's voice came out as no more than a whisper. "Hank."

Thank you for your support! What did everyone think of the first two episodes? I'm completely in love with Erin and Jay. As always, let me know what you think and what you want to see.