note: well, you asked for it! might I ask you to actually register on the site?


Ultra 64's seventh episode was due to start filming in a few minutes, so the director Mavis West-Manning had to gather the writer and producer for the show, Ivan (a Jusenkyo-cursed Ivy) Wilde and Raul Escabar, as well as the narrator N. "Okay, so this is lucky episode seven. Any thoughts before we start?"

N, who'd been recently recording lines for Ultra 64's audiobook series, said "Yeah. Any limericks, Raul?" to which the notable content maker said "I wrote a few. Ivy thought they sucked, but I thought I'd run then by you." Raul cleared his throat. "one starts off: there once was a man from an unnamed land."

"Yeah? And?"

"and another goes: There once was a world in crisis"

Ivan explained "I'd use the first one, Raul; at least we can work with that."

"Right. Let's get these voice boxes fluxing!"

ULTRAAAAAA SIX-SIX-SIXTY FOUR!

Ultra 64 can't think of a clever way to introduce Super Hydlide!

AUTHOR'S CUT: I've no interest in playing Super Hydlide, so my experience comes from ProJared's review of the game. This one's also a limerick, and some of this may be out of order.

-=26=-

There once was a man from a unnamed land

whose character model was awfully tanned

he started in a town

around eastbound and down

which starts off this game critically panned.

Now evil monsters were sent

and they started attacking the peasant

the guy attacked using his knife

because overburden'd was his life

he couldn't carry a dagger at present

after leveling up for the sixth time

the guy proceeded to a headstone covered in slime

he could just make out

"warrior, push this grave about

for you can read worth a dime"

He had this cave in mind

because the land was in a bind

so an hour he did view

before he said "penalty is due"

and proceeded with the grind

Hellsmoke, the game's first boss

was about a strong as moss

after a few swings

of the main character's things

its record was zero wins, one loss

the city of clouds was the area our hero's next poke

after freeing the caves from Hellsmoke

he had a bit of fame

and the people gave him a Sega game

before telling him it was a joke

skydiving down the clouds he arrived in a dark cave

a lantern a person previously gave

he used the light

to see through his plight

and thought 'a road over this I could pave"

a hyrda dragon suddenly attacked him!

its three heads right, bright, and dim

he dispatched all threes

"similar to hercules"

our hero proudly said on a whim

the next stop was some local place

where he learned of a new race

they were attacked by a thing

destroying their station ring

so our next stop is outer space.

Our hero ran around for some loot

picking up a compass and a spacesuit

heading to the center of the world

which is not how it works, they implored

but he went anyway, rendering their complaints moot.

he ran around the space world

until he found a motherboard

he was too late for the station's cries

(Kaizack being the place's demise)

and then an old nemesis suddenly roared

Here comes Varalys again

ready to dish out the pain

he fought the hero

until his HP reached zero

and so blood it did rain

After that the hero go to a glen

to enter the first dimension

Using the Varalys bust

a fairy said "enter, you must

but be careful of Kaizack's den"

After some quick inventory upkeep

the hero looked at the castle's keep

he soon reached a room

"welcome to your doom"

from within said a voice deep

Kaizack was ready to attack! Hell naw!

So the hero laid down the law

he burned off Kaizack's face

and finished this race

by jumping into his gaping maw.

The villain then revealed "I am God

so put away that fire rod

I created everything (the land too)

everything is borken thanks to you

and I'll forever live, poor sod"

Hence the hero's journey comes down to good luck

and the land was saved and everyone did suck

this game was awful too

and I'm about to throw at you

the cartridge for this game. Quick; duck!


ULTRA 64

Ultra 64 Episode 207
Game Data

Super Hydlide

©1989 T&E Soft

Genre: Action-RPG

Players: 1