House is wildly intoxicated


Harmless Drunk


"WILSON!" House howled through the window where he assumed Amber and Wilson's bedroom was.

The window opened.

"House, go home," Amber snapped from the window.

"Where is my Wilson?" he roared, ridiculously, terrifyingly intoxicated.

"House? What are you doing?!" Wilson called, coming to the window.

"Wilson, I LOVE YOOOOOOOU!" House sang loudly.

"House you're going to wake the neighbors!"

"Wilson, I DOOOOO!"

"HOUSE! Come inside right this second!" Wilson commanded.

"Inside? Of course!" House said, the booze was obviously pleased that it's beautiful love song had done its trick of working Wilson's underwear off.

Wilson appeared beside him and pulled him inside. "You can't drive yourself home in this state, go to sleep on the couch," he said firmly.

"But Wilson!" House said, leaning on his cane. He was pouting, in his own special, drunk way.

"House, go to sleep."

After about half an hour of silence, Wilson and Amber thought they could get a night of sleep in peace, until suddenly-

"Oomph, move over, Wilson," House said, shoving them over and joining them in their bed.

"Three is a crowd," Amber muttered under her breath.

"Just humor him, Amber," Wilson said. "He's just drunk."