Riley was lying in bed, under her covers; playing with her phone, getting ready to sleep. She decided to go bed early because she wasn't feeling fine; the whole day not talking to Maya. She understands that she needs space, but it has been really hard for her to cope. Especially now that she's barely talking to Farkle too because of the kiss; things have been tougher.
"Hey," Maya greet as she's standing by the door. Riley dropped her phone on her bed.
"Hey, you're here." She sounded surprised.
"Yeah." Maya walked to her bed and perched herself on the edge of the mattress.
"You came through the door," she said.
Maya shrugs, "I don't feel like climbing, today."
"Oh okay."
"I'm sorry on what happen between us. I don't know why I'm being sensitive about everything lately. Sorry that I said I need time when you apologize. I guess, I need time to clear my mind and think straight about everything that has been going on." She apologizes and Riley got out from her covers and slides herself next to Maya.
"No, no, it's my fault. I should've acted the way I acted. Or even say those mean things. I didn't mean to you know—hurt your feelings." She confessed. "I sometimes don't know what I'm saying— I've realized that it's not even funny for me to make fun of your life and all; I'm just being plain mean."
"It's fine Riles. I'm over it. I forgave you, it's fine. Sister's fight right? It's normal." Maya reassures her.
"Yeah, but is it normal for sisters liking the same guy and torn apart because of it?" Riley pointed out and Maya turn looking at her hands.
"About that," she looked up at Riley. "I came here to talk about that actually. I think the triangle has messed us all up and I want the triangle to be resolved."
"What do you mean?" her eyebrows furrowed.
"It means that I don't want to be in the triangle anymore, I'm backing out of it. He is all yours."
"Maya, No! You need to feel whatever you're feeling. You can't lie about your feelings, it would only make it worst. I think I should be the one-"
"No, Riles," she stopped her. "That's the thing, I'm doing myself a favor and I'm feeling whatever that I'm feeling. And now, I just don't feel anything and I don't have feelings towards Lucas anymore. I still like him as a person but I'm not in love. I know that you think that I'm lying right now, but just trust me I'm not. No secrets between us Riles."
Lies lies lies. That is all Maya have been telling Riley that evening. She was hoping that when she lies, this time, it might actually be true one day and eventually that her feelings for Lucas might actually fade. This is for the best, she thought and she can feel it even though it hurts inside.
"Why all of the sudden?" she asks.
"I spend some time alone and took the time to clear my mind and I start thinking about us all and I think about Lucas and the feelings just aren't there anymore. I don't feel the feelings that I used to feel when I think of him and that is when I realized, that I don't love him that way anymore." She explains.
"Is it because you have feelings for someone else? You know you can tell me right if you do?" Riley asked curiously.
Maya shakes her head and gives a small chuckle. "No, Riles. I don't think there's someone else. We only have a small amount of guys that we know in our life for me to fall for."
"How about Charlie? Are you sure you're not developing some feelings for him?" Riley said smiling like she guessed right.
Maya was surprised that Riley even mentions his name because the last time they ever mention of him is when she accused him being the cause of them fighting. "What? No. Charlie and I are just friends. He's a nice and a great guy but I don't see him that way."
"Oh okay. You're still like Josh is it?"
"Your Uncle Boing?" Maya laughs. "I haven't seen him a long time. How can I still like him? I'm over him Riles; it's true that he's too old for me anyway."
"Then, what Maya?" Riley questioned.
"Riles," Maya grabbed her hands. "I don't need fall for another guy in order to tell me that I don't like a guy." She assured her. "I'm in control of my feelings. So, I know what I feel." She lets out a small laugh.
"Oh okay then," Riley replied. "Have you talked to Lucas about this?" she asks.
"I think I'm gonna let him know tomorrow after school. You wouldn't mind right if I go out with him tomorrow."
"Of course, I don't. Why you even ask that?"
"I don't know— he's not my boyfriend anymore. He's yours, so just making sure." She smiles at her and they both remained silence for a while before Maya scoot closer to Riley.
"Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about how I'm glad that we talk things out," Maya said happily. "And I never ever want us to fight ever again." She said and pull Riley into a hug with their cheeks squished together one side.
"Peaches, I missed you!" Riley hugs her tighter.
"Ow! Riles, too tight." Maya said laughing.
"I'm never letting go!" Riley exclaimed. "Ever!" and that brought Maya into giggles.
It feels better when you're being with your best friend than being with any guy.
Maya was walking down the halls when Lucas spotted her and he walked up to her, "Hey," he greeted with all smiles.
"Hey," Maya replied.
"I haven't seen you all morning. Trying to avoid me?" he joked, looking down at her.
"Just the opposite actually," she admitted unhappily. "I've been meaning to talk to you actually."
Lucas breathed out a little laugh, "hey what's wrong? You sound so serious."
"Well, it depends on how serious it is to you," she murmured.
"Huh?" Lucas asked in confusion.
"I want to meet you after school if that's okay; just the two of us."
"What's wrong?"
"I'll text you; I'm late to class,"
"It's still early," he pointed.
"I want to get a good seat," she walked faster pass him and waved him goodbye.
The bell on the top of the door rings; signaling that someone just walked through the door. Maya looked up and there he was; walking through the doors, searching for her in the restaurant. Maya raised her hand and when he spotted her; he smiles and made his way to the table. Maya couldn't believe that this will be the last time that she can ever call herself his girlfriend.
"Hey," he said smiling and took a seat the opposite of her.
"Hey," she replied.
Lucas took off his jacket and places it on his chair. "Have you ordered?"
Maya nods her head and just stare at him as he calls the waiter and orders his food. How do you look at the person you love and tell yourself it's time to walk away? She asks herself.
Lucas noticed that she was staring and him, lost in her thoughts. "Hey, are you okay?" he asks.
"I'm fine," she murmurs.
"You said you have something to talk to me and I was actually nervous about it. Because this is the first time we went on a date, just the two of us and talk."
"It's the last actually," she said under her breath.
Lucas gave her a confused look, "What?"
"Nothing," Maya smiles at him.
They had small talks before the food arrives about his family and things that he has been dealing with in high school and when the food arrived; they continue talking about her art and his football.
When they finally finished their food and dessert arrived. That is when Maya knew that it was the good time to tell him about the purpose of the date today.
"Before I'm going to say this, I want to apologize. I'm sorry if this is all so bitter and not so sweet but sadly, this is how is going to be." She said apologetically.
"What are you talking about, Maya?" he laughs.
"The thing I wanted to talk to you about is us; I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. I want you to pick Riley and end this triangle," she said it as quickly.
"But why?" he asks.
"Because I don't love you anymore," she swallows her word and held her breath and tries not to cry. "I mean I still do like you but not love you in that way anymore." She said it sadly.
"Why all of the sudden?" he asks looking her straight in the eye and Maya could not bear dealing with this.
Maya took a deep breath. "It is because I learned a lot about falling in love when I fell out of love. I learned how a better friend I was when I'm not in one. And I want to be that better friend."
"What are you saying, Maya? You're always a good friend no matter what, no matter any circumstances. What makes you say that you being in love making you any less?" he pointed out.
"Because, after everything that happened, I just-." She hesitated.
"What about at the campfire, the things that you said?" he questioned.
"Maybe it was all a mistake, I confused your feelings with my confused feelings and now I realize that I don't love you like that and I'm making it complicated for you. You should choose someone you love and love you in return and I can't give you that anymore." She explained feeling like she's stabbing her own heart.
Maya reached for his hand and held it tight, "Now, I'm making this easier for you to choose, Lucas." She said his name and looked him right in the eyes and he knew how serious she is about it.
"I know how much you love Riley, you've like her from the beginning, it's always been, Riley." Lucas looked away but his hands are still in hers and Maya didn't let go because this might be the last time, they are ever going to hold hands like this. "I know you're going to choose her eventually and I'm only making it was hard for you because you don't want to hurt my feelings. But you know what would hurt me more? I would be more hurt if you picked me over Riley. She gets hurt and I will never forgive myself because she loves you more than I do. And you deserve someone that loves you like she does." She encourages.
He trying to understand the situation where she wants to make it easier for him but he doesn't feel that way. He doesn't know why but it hurts; listening to her confessing to him that she doesn't love him anymore hurts. Lucas realizes that his feelings for her are strong; he loves her. But it's complicated because he loves Riley too.
"I can't believe this is happening." He pulls his hand from hers and runs his fingers through his hair; looking away from her.
"I'm sorry; I swear to God, I never wanted to hurt anyone. I've always seen a glimpse of hope when I'm with you but then suddenly, out of nowhere, it's gone. And knew that have to let you go."
"Are you sure this is what you want Maya?" he asked.
She tried not to make eye contact before she says it. "This is what I want; I want us to be just friends."
"Okay then, Riley it is."
She tightened her lips into a thin line and nod, "Riley it is." She confirmed. "Well, Lucas, I got to go. I have a painting that I need to finish because I need to hand it soon. Let me know how much's the bill later, and I'll pay you tomorrow."
"Its fine, it's on me," he murmurs.
"Thank you," she stood up. "Bye Lucas, see you at school."
Lucas did not turn and looked at her, he just nods and let her walk through the doors and left. He just sat there for a while looking at his dessert and trying not to flipped over this.
Maya had to leave the restaurant as soon as possible because she was on the verge of breaking. And she really doesn't want to do it in front of him. She doesn't want him to see how much she's hurting and how he much he meant to her. Maya walked through the streets to her place crying. At that moment, she doesn't care what people around thinks of her; walking alone in the streets crying.
Later that night, as soon as Maya Hart got home, she dropped herself on her bed. She was thinking about how painful yet a relief it was to fix her relationship with Riley and broke off the relationship she had with Lucas. But hey at least we're friends, Maya thought. She snaps out from her thoughts when she realized that there's a new hole in the ceiling and she realizes that how easily she was distracted. Then she took out her phone from her pocket and realizes that she got messages from Riley and Zay and a missed call from Charlie, and she just ignores them. Maya got up and walked to her drawer and went through it; change into her a comfortable t-shirt and a pair of shorts. "You can't sleep now Maya, you promise yourself that you are gonna start the painting tonight." She told herself.
I was listening to Let It Go by James Bay when I wrote this.
