"We need to go somewhere new," Merea announced at breakfast. Everyone nodded, except for Biana.

"We only just got here! And we only spent half an hour at Louis Vuitton!"

"If I set foot in another clothing store, I will scream," Sophie said firmly. "And you really don't want to hear that."

A look of despair washed over Biana's face, then was quickly replaced by craftiness.

"And calling it a style warehouse or boutique or whatever isn't gonna change it. No place that has anything to do with clothes, and that's final." Sophie added.

Biana sat up in surprise. "How did you-" she slumped down in her chair once again. "Stupid Telepaths."

"Hey, isn't someone missing?" Merea frowned.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you guys that Keefe had an, uh, incident with some shrimp that were advertised as fresh and is now upstairs barfing his head off." Fitz said.

Everyone looked mildly disgusted.

"Ew," Biana sniffed.

"That's the sympathy I get?" Keefe said, emerging from the main hallway. He approached the table and everyone instantly scooched back. He huffed in frustration and rolled his eyes.

"Come on, guys. I'm fine. I mean, I'm not barfing right now, am I?"

"No, I guess you aren't-" as soon as the words were out of Dex's mouth, Keefe clapped a hand to his mouth and ran for the bathroom.


"Okay," said Merea. "Since Sophie and Biana technically picked the places we went the last two times, I think we all know who should pick the next one."

"Yes," said Lia.

"Right?"

"Me."

"That's ri-wait, what?" Merea raised her fist but before it could connect with Lia's face Dex vigorously nodded his head.

"Where should we go, Lia?" he asked.

"Hey!" Merea yelled.

"Well," said Lia, shooting Merea a dirty look, "I think we should go to-"

"New. York. City!" Merea yelled.

"No, we should go to-"

"Bermuda?" Arian asked.

"NO!" Lia yelled.

"Oooh! LA!" Fitz said.

"We already went there, doofus," said Biana.

"Oh yeah…"

Lia coughed meaningfully. "As I was saying… WE SHOULD GO TO VEGAS!"

"Yes!" yelled Sophie, Biana, Dex, Fitz, and Keefe.

Merea said nothing, just gave Lia the evilest eye she had.

"I still think we should go to Bermuda," said Arian.

"Do you even know where that is?" asked Dex.

"I think it's off the coast of India," said Arian.

"Um," said Keefe, "no."

"Italy? Iceland? Indonesia? Some other place that starts with I? I like that letter."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "We're going to Vegas."


"Wow…" Keefe stared around him in amazement at all the blinking lights, screaming people, and ladies in tight, feathery costumes. "I LOVE THIS PLACE!"

Arian pointed up at the fake Eiffel Tower. "I don't think we left."

"It's fake, stupid," said Lia. "Like your brain."

"Hey!" said Merea.

"Arian's brain isn't fake," Dex piped up, "It's just tiny."

"It's big enough to realize that your fly is open," Arian retorted, and Dex leapt away with an eep of embarrassment.

"I want a hot dog," said Merea, pointing at the flashing sign that said PINK'S.

"That sounds like the name of a strip club," said Fitz.

"No, it's a hot dog place," sighed Sophie. "But if you'd rather go to a strip club, we'll leave you to it."

"Uh, how do you know what a strip club is….?" Lia asked Fitz.

"I may have...encountered some….look, a bird!"

"No, a plane!"

"No, it's SUPERMAN!"

"No, it's Jason Grace!"

"Guys, SHUT UP."

"I still want a hot dog."

"Um, guys? I think we should maybe find Keefe first," Arian pointed out.

"My guess is he's thataways, that's where all the screaming people are." Biana rolled her eyes.

They pushed their way through the crowd to see a bunch of people up on a stage, winding giant snakes around some poor guy. Upon closer inspection, that "some poor guy" turned out to be Keefe.

"This snake really fits my aesthetic," Keefe purred, stroking the scaly thing around his shoulders and pointing out how its pattern matched the one on his hideous pants which he had gotten from who-knew-where.

"KEEFEHOWDIDYOUGETUPTHERE!?" Biana screamed. "MY POOR BABY!"

Keefe turned exactly the shade of the bright red snake that the scantily clad lady next to him was winding around his head. He turned his back to them and strutted around, causing the scantily clad lady to huff indignantly and scurry after him.

"Well, I'm….gonnagogetahotdogseeya!" said Merea, grabbing Arian's arm and running away.

"Me too," Lia and Fitz said in unison, turning to go as Dex emerged from the bathroom.

Sophie shook her head. "This is going to be a good show," she said, pointing at the stage. Biana had just launched herself, screaming, at the scantily clad lady. The lady screamed and hugged Keefe, who turned purple. Actually, the purple might just have been because the snake was slowly causing him to die of asphyxiation.

Shaking the snakes off him, Keefe ran screaming off the stage and past Merea. The lady followed him, and Biana was still screeching a war cry as she tried to attack the lady viciously.

"Well, I'm still going to get a hot dog," said Merea.

"Same," said Lia. Fitz bolted after them.

Arian tried to disagree, but he was still being dragged by Merea, so he gave up. The four of them disappeared, leaving Dex and Sophie to ward off the feather-lady while Biana escorted Keefe to safety. Dex and Sophie locked the lady in a public restroom and then ran for the hot dog place.

As soon as Biana let go of him, Keefe ran to a slot machine and started dumping in coins until he realized that it was a broken one that someone had left out for the streetsweeper.

"Great." Sophie facepalmed. "You get to ask Arian to conjure more coins. We know how much he looooves doing it."


After a brief period where Merea, Dex, and Lia had eaten no less than eight hot dogs between them (Merea: 4, Lia: 3, Dex: 1), Arian had had a rather sad plate of nachos, Sophie and Fitz had drained the soda machine of liquid, and Biana had kept trying to drink Keefe's giant milkshake, the group walked into the Bellagio.

"Whoa…" said Keefe. "Let's play!" He tried to run over to one of the giant slot machines, but he was stopped by a snooty-looking guy in a tux.

"Excuze me, boot yoo hahve to bee ohver ayteen too play." The guy looked down his nose at them. "Ahnd yoo do naht look lahke ahn ahdoolt."

"Um…" Dex yanked them all into a corner and handed each of them a small silver rod. "Twist it three times and it will give you a disguise."

Five minutes later:

"Hey, you didn't tell us it could only do Star Wars characters!" Fitz complained, adjusting his black mask in the bathroom.

"I like it," said Merea, touching the elaborate hair buns on either side of her head.

Lia looked in the mirror. "Why am I a guy?"

"You're not just any guy," Sophie said, cracking up. "You're Luke Skywalker!"

"Don't fall in love," said Dex. "Please."

"Why-"

"Don't ask."

Keefe frowned at the mirror. "Who am I? Why do I look like a gigantic slug?"

"Try again," said Dex, "after I get a picture." He snapped it with a phone.

"Where'd you get the phone?" Lia asked.

"Um...Keefe, how's it look?"

"I think I may now be.. I don't know."

Dex frowned. "Um, you're...what?"

"What?" asked Keefe.

He turned around to reveal a lady wearing a giant hairdo thingy and a LOT of makeup.

Biana screamed.

"You're Queen Amidala," said Sophie, trying not to crack up. "But what the hey, it's Vegas. You'll fit right in."

Keefe sighed. "Let's just get it over with."

Dex smiled. "That's the spirit. Now, who am I?" He twisted it to reveal….Han Solo.

Lia yelled. "Why are we both guys? AAAAH!"

"You are just proving all my fanfiction," said Sophie.

"Oh yeah? Who are you?" asked Lia.

"I think I'm a stormtrooper?" said Sophie. "Biana?"

Biana twisted her rod, looked in the mirror, and screamed. "What! I'm UGLY AND GREEN AND SHORT AND HAIRY! NOO! WHY CAN'T I BE QUEEN AMIDALIATHINGY?"

"Come on, Yoda," said Dex. "Lastly….Arian. What are you?"

"'I'm...a hairy thing."

"Join the club," said Biana dejectedly.

Dex smiled. "'It's not wise to upset a wookie.'" He tried to hug Arian for some reason.

"Get away from me," said Arian. "No wait, stay inside. You have that thing that makes these disguises work."

Dex smiled-AGAIN. "I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight." He cleared his throat a little, as if to say, do you get it I am making another joke/quote thing start laughing now.

Lia blushed. Merea rolled her eyes. Lia tried to twirl her hair around her finger, but it had become Luke-Skywalker-short-blond-stuff hair, so she couldn't. Merea smirked. Lia glared at her.

Dex put an arm around Lia's shoulders (again, more blushing, and Sophie fangirled even more) and let the bizarre procession out the door.

The weird snotty guy's eyes almost blew out of his head.

"Eh, how may I help yoo?" he asked, taking a few steps back from the group of eight.

"You could get out of the way, for a start," Fitz said. His voice came out as a muffled throaty growl, and each breath was clear and whooshy. The snotty guy leaped back even more.

"Oh, sorry," Fitz growled. He reached inside the mask and yanked out a mess of silver microphones and chucked them in the trash can. When he spoke again, it was in his normal voice.

By then, the snotty guy was nowhere to be found. Fitz and Keefe proceeded to one of the slot machines. Keefe pulled a bag overflowing with bills (courtesy of Arian) and started feeding them in as the number of credits popped up on the little screen.

Merea looked around and yanked Lia over to the side. "LIAAAAAA!"

"Whaaat?" Lia asked. "I wanna go play the slots."

"Arian's a hairy thing!"

"And?"

"And? AND? And I'm not kissing a hairy thing!"

Lia raised an eyebrow. "You know that disguise will come off, right? When were you planning on kissing him?"

Merea blushed. "Um...never...mind? Let's go play some slots."


Arian had inadvertently been listening to the better part of this conversation.

He cornered Merea. "Merea…. If we love each other… then my hairiness shouldn't matter!"

Merea looked at him adoringly. "Of course it doesn't! But your breath does."

Arian frowned and checked his breath. The smell nearly knocked him out.

He staggered away to find Dex. This had to stop now.

He found Han Solo Dex staring at a machine which was letting out a series of bings and flashing multicolored lights. It was also dumping out buckets of *credits or coins or dollars or whatever it is they use in those things* and screaming JACKPOT JACKPOT JACKPOOOOOOT!

Arian marched over to Dex. "WHAT THE FRICK FRACK DIDDLY DACK ARE YOU DOING."

"Winning," Dex smiled - again.

"Dude. Stop smiling."

"I will not. The ladies loooove the smile. And seriously, have you even won anything?"

Arian frowned. "That's not the point. Can you turn us back into us?"

"Three problems with that," Dex said, holding up said amount of fingers. "One, it's hilarious. Two, we'll get kicked out if we turn back. Three….I may have kinda sorta lost the wand thingy."

"WHAT?"

"Don't worry! We'll go back to normal in about six hours."

"WHAT?"

"You look really weird right now. Arbacca - ooh, I just invented a really cool nickname - screaming inside a casino is a sight many would pay to see."

Arian tossed his shiny brown fur. "Well, at least- at least- at least I have a girlfriend!" He doubled over in mocking laughter at his own wisecrack.

Dex glared. "Laugh it up, fuzzball."

"STOP SAYING STAR WARS QUOTES."

"NEVER."

"Boys!" Sophie ran over to them. "We're here to have fun and get cash. Not yell at each other."

"Arian was teasing me!"

"Dex kept saying weird quotes!"

"Arian is weird!"

"Dex lost the thingy!"

"Wait," Sophie said, facepalming. "What's the 'thingy'?"

"The wand thingy that he turned us all into Star Wars characters with."

"WHAT?!" Sophie screamed. "I can't kiss F- I mean, I can't see very well in this darn helmet!"

Dex raised an eyebrow. "Been getting a little loose-lipped with Fitzroy, have you?"

"I-no! Shut up!"

"Have you guys even kissed yet?" Arian asked smugly.

"Um-shut your freaking face! Wait, make that shut your freaky face!'"

"Rude," Arian sniffed, and he and Dex turned back to their argument.

"Dex, you're gonna be a loner all your life," Arian told him sadly. "Unlike me. The ladies love me. Just not right now."

"Yeah, an excess of hair can be a little bit, um, uninviting," scoffed Dex.

"At least my actual self is inviting, whereas the only time the ladies like you is when you're Han Solo."

At which point the boys seemed about ready to start sissy-fighting.

They did.

Lia sighed, rolled her eyes, and dumped a glass of champagne on Dex's head and he stumbled backwards into the slot machine, which beeped, dinged, and started screaming JACKPOT anew. It dumped thousands of coins on Dex's head, and he tripped away dizzily. Lia grabbed him, shook him, and stared straight into his eyes, but he just giggled weakly.

"Ahhh… I think the champagne went into his mouth…" Lia looked embarrassed. "That was not my intention." She slapped the tipsy Dex with the force to break a thousand mountains lightly.

Dex at once sprang upright and put a hand to his face. "What was that for?!"

"Um, you were drunk."

"Yeah, well, that was your fault!"

Lia looked at him and made her eyes bigger and blinked a couple times.

"That's not gonna work… on… me….." Dex's eyes got unfocused, and then he shook himself, stared at Lia, blinked, turned around, shook his head, and walked away.

Fitz and Keefe ran in like maniacs.

"WE SET THE CASINO ON FIRE!"

Biana waddled in next.

"And I'm green!" she wailed.

"WE KNOW," said Merea. "WHY DID YOU SET THE CASINO ON FIRE?"

"Well, I maaaaaay have really wanted to try a Molotov cocktail," said Keefe.

"And let me guess, Fitz dared you to throw it at the wall?" Biana asked, rolling her eyes.

"Nah, that part was all me," Keefe said.

Biana's face fell.

"But Fitz decided to try and put it out with vodka." Keefe kicked Fitz in the shin.

"FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I DID NOT KNOW THAT ALCOHOL IS HIGHLY FLAMMABLE," Fitz said.

"Oh my god," Sophie said. "Let's just-"

"Leave?" Arian suggested. "Our job here is done," he said, gesturing around at the pandemonium.

"Yeah…" Merea agreed. "But we kinda need to make sure no one dies? You know, from the fire… and… stuff?"

"They won't. I mean, we put it out. The bar had a soda gun," Fitz chirped.

Sophie stared at him for a second, then she walked away and started banging her head against the casino doors.

"What's up with her?" Keefe asked as he entered the scene.

"I dunno," said Lia. "But I agree with Arian. Let's leave before it gets any worse."

"So we can go to NYC now?" asked Merea hopefully?"

"Maybe," said Lia.

(Author's Note: The reason we've been posting so much in the last few days is because we've been writing this for a while. We do not write this quickly in real life.)