1.
I stopped feeling Edward soon after Billy's arrival. He must have left. While his involvement was still confusing to me, it was not as pressing as the dread I was feeling now that I was alone in my truck with Billy. Harry had left so I could drive him; I guessed he asked for that so we could speak on the way back.
It was a tense, unpleasant silence. I wished he would speak so I would be distracted. From my dread of what he would say next and mostly, from Edward's scent. It was only natural that it was everywhere since he had driven my truck. I had to see the irony of the situation, hadn't I hoped earlier to be in my truck to be rid of his scent? Well, here I was and it felt that it was more intense than in his car. Perhaps due to how recently he had occupied it.
My apprehension for what was to come was marred by my annoyance. Edward taking my truck, being in my house and being judgmental and condescending. He had officially made my Friday entirely miserable. A less unjust side of me also reminded me that he had also helped, a lot, but I wasn't in a mood to accept that there were positive sides to his personality. Being angry with him was easier than concentrating on just how much trouble I was in right now. When I parked by the house, Billy barely said a word. I waited either way for further instructions. He finally spoke with a tired yet severe tone.
"We will talk about it in the morning. I'm very tired." I nodded. I guessed arguing with Jake had taken a lot from him. I silently helped him out. Once we were inside the house he went to his room and shut the door behind him. His actions spoke loudly; I was in very deep trouble. Jake was home, I could hear the music coming from behind his bedroom door, probably to ignore us successfully. I stood in the living room for a moment, watching the darkened house that felt more inhospitable than ever. Now there was an angry person behind every door, how did things change so quickly?
I shrugged it off and went to my room. I knew Jake wouldn't come to my room right away; he would wait until he was certain Billy was asleep before attempting a conversation. He'd want to talk about Embry and lets face it, find out why I was in Mike's house. Great, so I now had to lie to him as well.
I went to my room and waited, my mind so incessantly revolving around the details of the evening that I knew sleep would be hard to come by tonight. I could never let things slide past me like that, there were so many things that I wanted to know. It wasn't long before Jake offered me a distraction. He sneaked into my room barely half and hour after we arrived. Billy must have been tired; the house was in complete silence. He walked in unannounced and shut the door quickly and quietly behind him. He then looked at me with raised eyebrows and his arms crossed over his chest. This wouldn't distract me, I realized, I really didn't want to talk about it.
"What the hell were you doing at Newton's?" He whined as he stepped closer to my bed. To my surprise, he looked angry. I had expected him to be making fun of me. And just looking into his eyes I knew he wouldn't believe the lie, so I went in a different direction instead.
"I used him to get your dad to believe that I was with him all afternoon." I wondered why after a night of getting a lot of things wrong, I was risking telling the truth now. But it was Jake, I wouldn't lie to him. He frowned.
"Where were you then?" I sat up and gestured for him to sit with me on the bed. He did, looking tense and suspicious.
"Do you promise not to be mad at me?" I whispered and he looked worried. He nodded. I took a deep breath. "I went shopping with Alice Cullen." His eyes widened and his mouth opened widely with a gasp. I didn't tell him what I was really after when I went shopping. I wasn't comfortable enough to share my doubts yet. Not until I knew something.
"What?" he didn't look mad, but he wasn't smiling either.
"She's really nice, and I like her. We became sort of friends and I went out with her. You can't tell, Jake. Billy will kill me, he almost did." Jake's concern turned to suspicion.
"Are you messing with me?" He asked and I shook my head.
"No. It's true." He watched me for a moment. Then he narrowed his eyes and sat inches from me. He cupped my face in his hands and inspected my expression. Thoroughly checking to find any sign of deception. I didn't even blink.
"Shit, you're not lying!" He said, dropping his hands.
"I told you, it's the truth. Billy texted me when I was on my way back but I left my phone in Alice's car." He smirked at my use of her name. "Then I got back to town and Mike agreed to lie for me." He rolled his eyes. I wasn't naive enough to share anything about Alice's strange ways of knowing what to do or Edward's involvement. Especially not his involvement. I would usually defend the Cullens but I doubted I could explain things in such an eloquent way that he would overlook the fact that Edward had been stalking my house for God knows how long. That bothered me more than the truck thing.
"I bet he did." He processed the information I had just given him. "Why didn't you go to your friend's house? Jessica or Angela?" Why did it matter that I had picked Mike? I explained. "Fuck, guess I'll have to get used to being the favorite one from now on. The Cullens, Bella, really?" he was amused now, I was secretly relieved. I knew Jake would understand. A surge of affection overwhelmed me. I took his hand, I was so grateful for having him in my life.
"Alice is great, she's my friend." His eyes widened a little. He tried to hide it but I knew he was astounded.
"Keep saying that, it will help you with Billy." He said with a smirk. "Fuck, Bella, we really outdid ourselves today. Billy must be rolling around in bed wondering where he messed up with us." I then remembered the reason why I'd gotten caught in the first place.
"What happened with Embry, Jake?" He sighed and laid down on my bed. His head on my pillow. There was just no room for him to do that but we managed to fit in.
"Embry took off." He said disapprovingly. He rubbed his eyes sleepily. "His mom doesn't know where he is. I wanted to go after him, you know? I told Billy what had happened, like an idiot thinking he might help. I even told him I could tell Sam if he would help. Do you know what he said?" Jake said, looking broken. I shook my head. "He said that we should let Embry be. That he'd come back whenever he's ready and that I should keep out of it." He was angry and with due right.
"What?" I was outraged.
"Yeah. The worst part is that I know he knows something, I swear. Maybe Sam saw something and my dad knows but he doesn't give a shit so he didn't tell me. What really pisses me off is that they say I'm part of the tribe and all that but when I actually ask for help they don't do shit. And I don't even care, I wouldn't mind if they don't tell me anything but you should've seen Embry's mom, Bella. She was desperate." He said. He'd definitely had a worst day than I had.
"Did you tell that to Billy?"
"Yeah, but he wouldn't listen. He said she had to understand her son was a man now or some bullshit and that I should stay out of it. I say screw it, I'm going to look for Embry tomorrow. Quil's coming, too." I nodded.
"Need help?" I asked and he smiled widely.
"From you, always." He said and he laid on his belly burying his face on my pillow. He yawned. It was almost one now. I was a little sleepy, Jake looked exhausted.
"Then we'll look for him tomorrow." I promised and he nodded, his eyes closing slightly. He smiled right before dozing off he spoke with his eyes closed.
"Since I'm all for pissing Billy off maybe you could ask the Cullens to help us. That will get the tribe's attention." I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me.
"Shut up, Jake." He chuckled and then fell asleep. Great, I wouldn't be able to move all night. He often fell asleep in my bed. Then I had to wake up early and kick him out so Billy wouldn't get the wrong idea. In the meantime, I had no intention of waking him up. I wanted to talk to Alice. I wanted to ask how everything had happened.
2.
I didn't hear when Billy left the next morning, but his door was open when I came out of my room. Jake woke up sometime in the night and went to his room; I was on the couch trying to read to calm myself down when he came out for breakfast. He noticed Billy's empty room but made no comment. Then he noticed my terrified expression and laughed. He took my book away and lectured me on how to manage being the bad kid without letting it get to my self-esteem. It relaxed me more than the book had. Maybe Billy was running errands and I was making a big deal out of it.
We had a really good morning and made an absolute mess while trying to flip omelets. It was midday and we were still cleaning when Billy came back. I had every reason to be scared before, he looked strained and enraged beyond words. He went straight to his room without a word to us. I was certain then, somehow, he knew the truth.
"What the hell? We're cleaning up!" Jake whispered to me as he took out a cloth and cleaned up some tomatoes that were in the middle of the kitchen floor.
"I don't think it's the eggs, Jake." My tension from before had increased exponentially. Jake frowned understanding my meaning. Usually he would've been amused that I was in trouble, but he'd seen his dad's face too. He understood the gravity of the situation.
"Think it over, Bella. Is there any way he could know you were with the Cullens?" He was trying to help. He was so good to me.
"No, I'm totally sure no one saw us." Alice and Edward seemed confident enough about that as well, and since last night with all the mention of Alice's knowing things I've been under the strong suspicion that they had alternative means to get information. Was that what Edward did all the time when I felt him in my head? Was he gifted like Alice as well? "Alice was gone long before your dad was there." And I doubted Edward let anyone else see him. Jake nodded and looked concerned. He sighed.
"This sucks." He mumbled and I rolled my eyes at him, I was so tense I sounded hostile.
"Thanks for stating the obv-"
"Bella," Billy's voice sounded louder in the otherwise quiet house. He was still in his room, so I would have to come to him. He didn't want Jake to hear. Jake took my hand and gave it a squeeze; he mouthed, "You've got this." I sighed and went to Billy's room.
He was as far away from the door as possible. He looked tired already despite the early hour. The hat he always wore was on his bed; he was looking at it intently. When I entered the room he said. "Close the door." I felt my stomach tightening and my heartbeat was so loud I could hear it. My head offered me heartfelt apologies, pleas of forgiveness and a promise not to ever do it again. And yet none of those options seemed feasible. Billy would not forgive me this time. My hope was redirected then, I hoped his punishment was not so severe. The door firmly closed, he began. I wondered if Jake would make an effort to eavesdrop.
"I know you were not with Mike yesterday, at least not the entire afternoon like you told me." His voice was low, I recognized his tone, and he was trying to control his temper. He still wasn't looking at me.
"I don't-"
"I don't want to hear it." His anger leaked into his tone. I better not talk. "I did not call you here to hear your side of the story, I know it already." How? "I'm just telling you this so you know exactly why things will change." I contained my need to pace around the room and cry out nervously for him to get it over with. I supposed the suspense was part of the punishment. "You are not, under any circumstance to have any form of contact with the Cullens. Do you understand what that means?" He looked at me for the first time.
"Yes, Billy." I tried to make my tone sound repentant, it only enraged him further.
"Apparently you don't. When I asked you the first time to stay away from them I though it was clear. That included addressing them, having a conversation. And you not only did that but you befriended the Cullen girl and went out of town with her." How did he know so much? Impossibly, my tension grew. Where had he been this morning? He must have been with the Cullens, according to Edward that had been his intention yesterday. Now I was mortified. Had he made a scene? Was the treaty broken? Would the Cullens leave then? This was far graver than I had anticipated; Jake didn't know the half of it. I wanted to ask but I remembered Jake's tactics throughout the years. The worst way to give yourself away was to give information they didn't already possess. I bit my tongue and listened before giving away more information. "Have I not explained the danger the Cullens pose to our people, Bella?" His composure was swiftly flowing out the window along with his need to keep it down. He was raising his voice and consequently I was provoked. Call it adolescence, I did not respond favorably to being talked to like that. Regardless of how justified his anger was.
"Yes." I answered as repentantly as possible. "But you never said why they're dangerous." How did that come out of my mouth? I internally groaned at my own stupidity and Billy's face turned red in anger. He took forever to speak, and when he spoke he had regained a normal tone. Which of course made him all the more terrifying. I looked down.
"Perhaps that was my mistake. You are not a child anymore, I should've given you some reasons for you to believe me." He looked down, and interlaced his fingers nervously. "You of all people should understand the importance of staying away from them." My eyes locked on his face. "Bella, I am not able to share with you the nature of our conflict with the Cullens." No need to mention I knew it already and it was ridiculous. "But I'm not breaking any promise by telling you some of your father's opinion on the matter." My heart stopped. What about Charlie? "He agreed with me Bella, he would not have wanted you to have any contact with their kind." My anxiety went out the window. I didn't care about being punished; there were more important things than being unable to leave the house for a month.
"Why?" Billy sighed.
"Bella, you're a smart girl. You can see that the Cullens are different. In many ways," he paused and took a deep breath "you could wrongly think they are like you." My frame stiffened. His intense brown eyes bore into mine. "But you are not. They are ruthless, cruel creatures that thrive on human suffering. They may appear friendly to you, they can be ingenious and they will lure you in and offer you their friendship. Once they have satiated their need for you, you will be disposed of, because you are not one of them. They have no real feelings, Bella. They are less than animals, they're heartless beasts." His words sprung with a fervor that transcended the moment we were in. In it, echoed the hatred of every generation of Quileutes that sincerely believed in the tales that constituted their heritage and wisdom. I understood now that Billy's hate was not only real, but it was also rooted from a fear whose depth I had not seen until now. I could see it in his eyes, as he spoke and for a moment I feared them as well. If for a second I believed in Jake's tales and I thought that the Cullens were vampires, supernatural creatures that drank blood of human beings to survive, Billy's emotions made sense. His feelings were real, and the Cullens had to be feared. "Your father left you in my care because he knew I understood their true nature. And he knew that when the time came, I would be able to warn you and keep you from their kind."
"Why did Charlie fear them, why would I need to be warned?" My voice was vulnerable, I was not angry anymore, Billy wasn't either. He looked worn, like a man much older than he actually was.
"He never said. But after he found you, he was never the same. We used to be really close, your dad and I. Sort of like you and Jake," he smiled grimly "as we grew older obligations and responsibilities pulled us in different directions but the bond between us remained strong. Do you remember my last visit to Phoenix, Bella?" Yes. Not long before my dad died.
"In Phoenix. At our house." Billy nodded. Charlie had been weird in those weeks, I was glad when Billy came because I thought maybe he could speak to him about it.
"Yes. After you went to sleep we talked. He was very upset. I never saw him like that. He made no sense. He talked about having dreams, seeing things that were not real. Confusing you and people in his head, nonsense like that. I thought he was having a meltdown due to stress from all the changes in his then he made me promise I would look out for you, if anything happened to him." I frowned, what went on in Charlie's head? "I didn't know what he was on about, for a moment I thought had a disease or something but he said he was healthy. But he was afraid." I frowned.
"Of what?"
"Them, their type of people." He sighed. "I will spare you the details of the nightmares that pushed him to ask this of me, but I know he meant them. I'm certain, that's why he came to me, because he knew I would believe him. I promised I would take care of you. I hoped I never had to complete that promise but when he died, I knew I owed it to him."
"Is that why you didn't want me to live by myself in Forks?" He nodded sternly.
"I can't protect you if you're away from our lands. All I can do for you, I can do at the reservation." This was not even beginning to answer all the questions that I had now.
"Billy," I looked down, "Did Charlie knew what I was?" He was looking at me, he stretched out his hands towards me and I took them.
"He knew you were his daughter and that he loved you, Bella. You were everything that made him happy." My heart warmed, but that was not the question. "He knew you were different, he told me so, and I understood. There are many things that we don't understand about how the world works, Bella. But I can tell you one thing," his hands squeezed mine "In all my years I have never met a girl as wonderful and good as you. You are brave, strong and truly like a daughter to me. You make everyone around you happy, I feel it myself and see it in my boy. Our lives became better when you came to live with us." For him to say that, when I always felt I had only made their lives more complicated, moved me. I teared up inevitably and he opened his arms towards me, I didn't think about it, I hugged him. It was so comforting to hug him when I had been so confident seconds that he wouldn't do that for weeks. "Your dad would be so proud of what you have become. So smart and such a good cook, too." I chuckled I wasn't really and he knew it. I moved away from his embrace and he wiped the tears that had managed to escape my control. "I hate to see you lost to what your father feared most." And all of a sudden the good feeling was gone again. My need to know came back with a vengeance.
"You won't." I whispered. And he nodded. He straightened in his chair and took a deep breath. I stepped back from him.
"There have to be consequences for your behavior, Bella, so you are grounded for the rest of the month." That sucked but it wasn't so bad. "I want you to come back straight away from school. You will not have any form of contact with the Cullens. If you need to switch classes to be away from them, I will speak to Principal Green. Even if Dr. Cullen already promised to make the necessary arrangements, I will take precautions as well." And just like that I was furious.
"Dr. Cullen, did you speak to them?" Billy turned stoic.
"Arrangements were necessary, Bella. He took it upon himself to make amends for his daughter's behavior." Again, no mention of Edward. "I'm still not pleased with you having to go to Forks for school, but until we find an alternative you will continue to go to that school. Temporarily, of course." My teeth clenched.
"What about the school year?" He looked remorseful but mostly firm.
"I'm sorry, Bella." He didn't look sorry. "You lost your privilege to an opinion when you deliberately endangered yourself by disobeying me. These are the consequences and I expect you to respond to them as an adult." I sighed. There was a long pause in which he watched me and I stared intently towards the floor as to contain my indignation. "Understand, I am doing this for your own good." I nodded once. Since there was nothing else left to say, I turned to leave. "I will rest now, tell Jake to keep it down, please." He said and I didn't look back as I closed the door behind me. I went straight to my room and dropped on my bed. Jake was there a second later.
"What did he say? I couldn't hear 'cause I had to call Quil. Are you grounded until you're 50? Because for yelling at him yesterday I only got until next week." He sat on the edge of my bed. I was too angry to find him amusing.
"A month, but he's taking me out of school." He didn't seem surprised.
"That sucks, Bells. But I think he went easy on you, if I'd been hanging out with the Cullens it would be my head over that TV instead of that ugly ass fish." I ignored his attempts to distract me.
"What am I going to do, Jake, can't he at least wait until the summer?" He held my hand.
"Sorry." He said and brushed some of my hair behind my ear. "I'll leave you alone. I have to go find Embry anyway." I was supposed to go to that. He noticed. "Don't worry about coming, Billy's pissed off as it is. So you can be fed up in peace but Bells, can you promise me something?" He was looking at my hand.
"Sure." It was never a question.
"Could you just, listen to Billy and keep away from them?" I groaned, not holding back with him like I had to with his father.
"Why, because they're vampires?" My sarcasm was met with an earnest expression from him.
"No, because it upsets my dad." His emotion took me by surprise. "I don't want him having a heart attack over this, he is less strong than he seems, you know. And all the deal with the Cullens, it really gets on his head. So just stay away from them, for me?" How could I refuse? I nodded. He gave me one of his most charming smiles and a wink and got up. "Go back to being angsty and hating the world now. Text me when Billy is awake so I can come back and pretend I was here." I nodded and reluctantly smiled. When he left, I was alone with my angry thoughts.
3.
I spent all weekend thinking about the Cullens, Billy's warnings and mostly my dad. Billy had obviously used him to convince me to stay away, but his desires had backfired, I was more interested on talking to the Cullens than ever before. I had to have been involved with their kind of people as Billy put it. It seemed obvious since Charlie knew about them.
I had little time; I truly believed Billy was taking me out of school as soon as he found an "alternative" so I knew I had to make most of the days I had left. I would speak to Alice in the parking lot if necessary. I hoped Alice hadn't gotten into too much trouble. Then again I wouldn't know what happened until we spoke.
Jake had a bad weekend. No news from Embry. Being in the house was not the best, Jake wasn't talking to Billy and I was still upset so my answers were a little curt. On Monday, after another warning from Billy to stay away from them I went to school. I was running a little late, and I cursed myself since talking before school with Alice would've been a good idea. The parking lot was almost empty when I got there; I took some comfort when I saw the Volvo, though. It meant they were still here. I don't know why I feared they wouldn't be, but after Billy's appearance at their house I didn't know what to believe.
Mike, who I hadn't thought about once all weekend, was smiling at me suggestively from the moment I reached the classroom. Which was also the same time I felt Edward around me. Great, so he was here as well. I wasn't sure if I was happy of that or not. I ignored Mike and sat down to think. Classes dragged on and I made very little effort to be involved in them, they were simply not important.
Although I had felt him all day, I was still slightly relieved to see Edward in his usual seat in Spanish. He didn't look at me or acknowledged my presence in any way so I did the same. When Spanish was finally over and it was time for Gym. I hoped to catch Alice in the locker room, so I almost ran there after class. She wasn't there so I waited until I had less than a minute to spare. Maybe I had missed her? I changed and went to the Gym, but she was not there either. I was very disappointed but not surprised, had I not expected something like that in the morning? Perhaps Billy was right and one of the arrangements Dr. Cullen made was to make Alice change classes. Why did he go along with Billy? Did he hate the Quileutes and wanted to keep away from them? Why was Alice the exception? It was a blow to have to be Mike's Gym partner again but it didn't matter, I would talk to her later.
I felt comforted by that thought, and went to lunch hoping to at least see Alice from a distance. I was not so lucky, she wasn't there yet. It wasn't until Rosalie joined Emmett and Edward and the last students came in the cafeteria that I understood she wouldn't come at all. To make matters worse, Jasper was not here either and it wasn't because of me. I would gladly stay out of his way, he was too scary. But if Jasper was also gone, I doubted Alice would be back for next period. Had Dr. Cullen made her leave? I felt awful, what had I done? I slumped in my seat without refraining my misery.
Angela sat next to me and apologized again for messing up with Billy, I shook my head and tried to soothe her but I know that she interpreted my bad mood as disapproval. I couldn't do more to comfort her at present, I was too concerned with my own issues. We ate lunch in silence, Mike had noted my unfriendly mood earlier and was less enthusiastic than in the morning. He sat next to me nonetheless.
"Did you hear?!" Kate didn't know I could hear her, she felt safe since two tables away from her. "Alice Cullen is not coming because she had a severe allergic reaction! I heard Edward Cullen telling Ms. Cope, she's not coming for at least two weeks!" I groaned at the story he'd given. I would be long gone in two weeks.
"How about Jasper Hale?" asked Jessica avidly. "He'll be practically single for two weeks. Is he coming back?" I rolled my eyes at that.
"He must have stayed home to take care of her or something. Who knows?" Kate answered, clearly elaborating a lie that appeased all of them. Ashley sighed.
"I wished I had a boyfriend that took care of me like that." She said and I stopped eavesdropping. I really couldn't care less about Ashley's daydreams. I let myself wallow in misery, if I didn't have Alice, what would I do now? To my surprise, I caught Rosalie Cullen looking at me twice. Her expression was decidedly unfriendly. I would've been offended but I've caused her sister to leave, so it was hard for me to respond aggressively, so I looked away. Edward stared at his food the entire time. I still felt him around me, though. I thought about what I had come up with over the weekend about his probing.
I would be in a bad mood for the rest of the day, as simple as that. I made no effort to eat and when the bell rang, I dragged myself to Biology with no word to Angela who still thought it was her fault I looked so upset.
Mike was going on about some sport and I didn't make an effort to follow. We went in the classroom and to my surprise, Edward was there and he was sitting in the table Mike and I usually used. I felt him around me, he looked a little amused. I looked at Mike and thought about my theory again. Mike looked confused and Edward didn't like him, which I was sure of. So maybe.
"Oh, um, what is Cullen doing in my seat?" He whispered in my direction. We were both standing by Mr. Banner. He spared me the trouble.
"Mr. Cullen will be working with Bella now. Here, you can work with Mr. Perkins and Miss Allen." He said and showed Mike to his new seat. I went to take my seat. Edward look as casual as ever, but he really was amused. I didn't know if I was supposed to talk to him or not so I didn't. I wondered why he was still here while Alice was forced to leave. Then I realized that asking him was all the hope I had left.
Mr. Banner began his lecture; since I was deciding whether or not to talk to Edward I paid no attention to him. I didn't know if he'd like to talk to me, surely he was angry at what had happened on Saturday. He didn't look angry now, but wasn't he always? said something about mitosis but I didn't hear it, because although Edward's voice was hardly above a whisper, I heard him loud and clear.
"Alice wanted me to apologize on her behalf." He was irritatingly stoic once more. I wanted to look at him but he was being so discreet. I forced myself to follow his lead.
"What for, I should be the one apologizing. I got you in a lot of trouble." I'd never spoken so low but I knew he would hear me. I tried to speak fast too, so in case someone heard they couldn't make out the words. Edward had no trouble hearing it. We were both looking at Mr. Banner.
"We both acted by our own volition. She apologizes because the consequences that will befall you will be greater."
"Greater? She's gone."At least I was still here.
"Again, it was her own decision." His calm tone momentarily reminded me of Billy's.
"So your father didn't make her?" I know he understood my sarcasm.
"It is not like that in our family. She was reprehended but her decision to leave was entirely her own. She will return, just not now." That sounded so arbitrary.
"What will she accomplish by leaving? And how come you got to stay? They didn't even make you change classes."He wrote something in his notebook, notes I realized. How did he have a mind to do that now?
"When Billy came visit," so gracious of him to put it like that "She made it seem like it was her fault, my involvement was greatly overlooked." No wonder Billy thought it all had been between us. "There is no suspicion of me approaching you."
"Why would she do that?"
"She didn't say, she only told me it was best if she went away for the time being. It will appease Billy. As far as her undermining my part in this, it allows me to talk to you now without the others suspecting. Alice made this possible so I would explain this to you and you wouldn't feel abandoned." I contained my smile; she was so nice to think of that. How could Billy say they had no feelings? He was terribly misinformed. "She also said you would have lots of questions." This amused him, I could hear it in his voice, I didn't know why. It didn't feel like he was teasing me.
"A few. She wasn't exaggerating about her gift. She sees how things will turn out?"
"Yes, in a way." From my peripheral vision I saw him smiling slightly. If I understood correctly, he was defying his father's wishes and probably his entire family's by speaking to me and he was smiling? Who would've known, Edward was a rebel.
"Where did she go?" Where had they vanished poor Alice?
"Another honeymoon with Jasper," he sounded disgusted, I tried not to smile at his tone but failed. I quickly recovered, though. "She's making amends for deceiving him." Bad news for Jessica, Jasper wouldn't be leaving Alice anytime soon. I was glad that Alice was happy.
"Why did she lie?"
"We were not supposed to befriend you, because you're involved with the Quileutes and clearly they're easily offended." I rolled my eyes and hoped he saw.
"Your family doesn't like me either, then?" I wasn't even a Quileute, how could they hate me?
"Not quite. You're oversimplifying a complex issue. No one holds a grudge against you personally, but we have learned to be careful whenever the Quileutes are involved as not to offend them with our actions. You were an unexpected variable that the treaty didn't include. Therefore, our hesitation to approach you is only natural. As far as the division of opinions, the distribution of my family members is not unexpected. I've observed the same division in previous occasions. While some of my siblings are in the tendency of adhering to more conservative ideas, the rest of us are more prone to assess the situation individually, which allows us to a wider spectrum of possibilities. Carlisle, functions as a mediator and rarely ever expresses a definitive stand until he believes he has heard all of the facts." He was far more honest that I would've suspected.
"I take it from your sister's looks at lunch that Friday's fiasco didn't make the scales tip in my favor?" He sighed.
"No. Has Billy told you when you are expected to leave school?" I frowned in confusion.
"Alice told you that?"
"That's part of the reason why she left. She believes that it might be beneficial for the situation. Her absence might assuage Billy's determination." He looked skeptical, so was I.
"Why is your family so certain that you won't approach me?"
"I caught on Alice's intentions quickly," Caught on, or heard them? Without needing her to voice them? My theory seemed more and more plausible by the minute. "I played the part accordingly they don't suspect I've taken a liking to you. The consensus is that I acted to protect my sister." I almost turned at his very unsentimental way of expressing himself.
"You've taken a liking to me? Are you sure those intense emotions won't ultimately betray your real intentions?" I don't know why I had to tease him but it felt right. He rolled his eyes and I smiled a little. Teasing him, even if just a little, was fun.
"I see no point in lying to you. I disagree with Billy Black's approach of shielding you from the truth or my sister's for waiting for the right time. It seems subjective and I have no patience for it. If you are searching for answers I see no point in denying them to you." He answered quite seriously, but knowing he wasn't really angry made it hard for me not to find it a little funny. He was too solemn for such a young person.
"Will you answer my questions then?" He was the only person who had openly offered that. He sighed.
"If I can, yes. What would you like to know?" My heart beat frantically and I contained my smile. He'd tell me what I wanted to know. Granted, maybe in a factual way but that was not important, they were answers.
"Everything." I said and to my absolute dismay, the bell rang. An entire class had gone by and I had heard nothing about it. Edward, on the other hand, had a perfect set of notes in front of him. I would worry about school later. For now, our time was up. I groaned and if I heard correctly, Edward chuckled.
"We will have to speak later." He said as he closed his notebook. I put away my unused things as well. His voice was still too low for anyone to hear. "I have no intention of getting caught again, so until we come up with a better system, this is the only way I can safely approach you without my family or yours realizing it." I rolled my eyes. There had to be another way. Perhaps a very common way?
"I can't even text you?" He'd done it before, so he must approve of it. He frowned.
"I will think about it. Can you hold your questions until then?" No.
"Yes." I said quite unconvincingly.
"Then I will let you know." He was done stalling and pretending to have a reason to linger in his desk. I felt the need to show him my appreciation for what he was doing.
"Thank you." He didn't smile; then again, he never reacted in a way I could predict.
"Be safe, Bella." He whispered, the classroom was half empty when he left. Mike was beside me in a flash. I hadn't noticed before, but for all the glaring, he never actually came close to where Edward was.
"Fuck this, I'm talking to Principal Greene or something they can't just make Cullen your lab partner." I contained my smile; I was so glad that had been the case. "Don't you think we should fight this?" Not at all.
"Let it go, Mike, at least we're still Gym partners." My smile was so genuine that his mood improved.
"Right, you're right." He said. "I'm sorry for you, Bella, I know Cullen isn't the nicest guy to be around of." Perhaps, but he was honest.
"I'll survive." I was in a good mood now. I didn't overlook the fact that Edward had once again radically changed my mood. Only for once, it was a pleasant change.
4. Edward
For the second time in the week I wondered how my sister had persuaded me into doing this. I had no more excuses left; I wasn't doing it to protect her. By now she was somewhere in Paris, shopping to her heart's content. This was exactly what I criticized of my father's parenting. How was Alice supposed to learn a lesson if her punishment for betraying his trust was a shopping spree in a European city? Atoning her errors one pair of shoes at a time. I was the guiltless one and yet I was bound to live with the consequences of her actions. The Quileute's newfound mistrust and Rosalie.
Carlisle had been quite graceful when facing the Quileutes, his anger would have been justified since we deceived him, but it was not the case. He simply wanted to understand why Alice decided to act in such a way. After that he expressed regret at the Quileute's view of our family and an invitation to listen to them to avoid another confrontation. Rosalie, who overreacted to the visit, decided that Carlisle ordered for us to not speak to Bella ever again. I disagreed. Vehemently.
Which brought me to my current predicament. I stared into the screen of my cell phone with Bella's phone number in it. Had I looked at it for half an hour? Forty five-minutes? Talking to her had been unadvisable, sending her a message held another meaning. I had no more excuses to placate my conscience, Alice was not here to use as a pretext yet I continued to search for an excuse to justify my esteem for the girl. I had no understanding, however, of what that meant. It had to be just rational curiosity. She was far too intriguing for her own good.
Alice had seen something. The dramatic display she offered on Saturday after the Quileutes approached us with their rather accurate accusations was not only to distract the others from my participation in the matter, but also to distract me from her train of thought. Hours later, she decided to leave. Assuring our father that being in proximity to Bella would be too tempting, she did not trust herself around her so she would have to retire to get some perspective. I knew she wanted me to stay out of her head; she became fixated with a particular thought, which was her way of leaving me out. However, it was clear she was hiding something of greater importance since to my surprise, Jasper had gone along with the plan. He, too, maintained his thoughts hidden from me. I did not understand this either.
Having other occupations, it was my job to drive Alice and Jasper to the airport as soon as they purchased their tickets. It was on the way that she revealed some of the truth to me.
"I need a favor, Ed." She said with a compelling smile. I could see Jasper in the rearview mirror, he was smiling. He thought everything his little monster did was adorable. I frowned.
"You see where doing you favors got me the last time, sister. So no. And don't call me Ed." Alice pouted.
"It's not a favor for me. It's for Bella." Granted, that did give pause to my immediate rebuttal. Jasper smiled but he became profoundly interested in some sport stats he had seen in the morning. I glared at him.
"Were you not here this weekend? We are to stay away from her, Alice. I will not put up with Rosalie's tantrums any longer. If that means to stay away from the girl, so be it." I was stubbornly determined to stay away from her. If only to show myself that I had some control over my curiosity.
"She will be miserable. Billy wants to take her away." For a moment my grip on the steering wheel faltered. If she left, it would be almost impossible to find her on my own. Assuming of course that I would do that at all. But then, I would never know.
"Where?" The question slipped. Jasper raised an eyebrow. Oh. He thought with surprise before turning his thoughts to sports. "Not that I care. We should stay away from their private matters." Where could he possibly take her?
"I hope that me keeping my distance will change Billy's mind. But if it doesn't, you have to tell Bella what's going on. So if we meet her again, she doesn't think we just left her." Would we meet her again? I was overcome with a surge of excitement, without the Quileutes as an impediment; approaching Bella would be exquisitely simple.
"It is not my business, Alice. If you want to say something to her find another form of communication. I won't talk to her."
Yes you will. She thought stubbornly and then thought of Jasper. I tuned her out quickly.
"She's going through a really hard time." My determination wavered, but I was stubborn.
"She will figure things out on her own." We did not speak for the remainder of the drive. I pulled the car over to provide an unnecessary assistance. Alice would be able to carry all of her suitcases by herself should she wish it. Jasper assisted her too, he understood, many of our interactions were based on habit rather than necessity. We had both been brought up in a world of manners, so we replicated them. Alice waited while we arranged her luggage around her. She was seeing ahead, always finding the same outcome, I would not speak to Bella Swan.
"Fine." She grumbled in defeat. "I see that I can't change your mind. But please take care of her, she is my friend." I nodded, that I could agree to. "I'll keep an eye out for you." She kissed my cheek and left.
My determination held most of Monday. I did not approach her in Spanish. I followed her through the minds of others since I thought it harmless. I was wrong, Alice had been correct, she was unhappy. Her disappointment grew, it was clear to me that she wanted to speak to my sister. When she didn't see her in Gym I hoped she would be furious, she was so easily enraged when we spoke. Surely seeing her anger would be simpler than seeing her upset. This didn't happen, she was sad now. I noticed how dark her eyes looked when she felt so dejected.
Affected, but still unable to surrender my resolve, I ignored her to the best of my ability. And then it was time for Biology. While my family knew I had to classes with Bella they thought I never spoke to her. Only Alice had known we were now Biology partners. A detail I managed to forget when Carlisle asked if an interaction at school was mandatory. More lies, how had I managed to lie so much to my father already and yet feel no remorse?
Bella walked in the classroom with the same downcast expression and regardless of the faint amusement I recognized briefly in her features as Mike Newton realized he would now be sharing his stupidity with another set of students, there was no real improvement. She sat next to me with no expectations, ready to ignore me as I was ignoring her. Her questions unanswered and her habitually expressive eyes forlorn. So I talked to her.
I sit here now, wondering how far would my poorly constructed arguments take me. I'd promised her answers I was not certain I could give. I was lying to my family as well. Yet I could not get the image of her saddened expression off my mind. And all other concerns seemed to pale in comparison. All she wanted were answers of the nature of her existence, I could understand that. My entire life was an endless inquiry of motives and purpose. Doubt was crippling and incertitude demonic.
Surely a glimpse into our world would benefit her greatly. She might then be able to understand more about herself. Another image was conjured up by my exhausted mind. How I was struggling with this. I remembered as if it was happening before my eyes, how happy she had been when she thanked me. The glimmer of her eyes was ignited once more simply because of a few words I was so reluctant to give. I was so selfish, I wanted to know about her and I had all the advantages. She on the other hand was alone. That was not acceptable.
I was halfway into writing a message for Bella when a text from my sister interrupted me.
Told you so.
The stubborn streak in me demanded to be acknowledged.
I could still change my mind.
I wrote.
You won't.
She was right.
I returned to Bella's message.
Are you still interested in asking your questions?
It took her less than a minute to answer.
Always.
I could picture her excitement at reading this and the memory of her unmitigated joy earlier made me smile. The choice had been made. I had no care for qualifying my actions as right or wrong right now. They felt right, so I was unrepentant when I wrote:
Ask me anything.
Hope you enjoyed it. Like where it's going? Thanks for reading.
As usual thank you Butterfly Wish for your awesome work! :D
