One day off turned into three. Out of necessity, Skwisgaar feigned a straight face in the studio while he healed. Every chafe against denim resulted in an inward grimace; if only he'd been a little more sensible. His bandmates failed to notice, at least until they gathered in the conference room another few days later for a meeting. Skwisgaar arrived second, after the drummer. He ignored the redhead's initial chuckle, then raised an eyebrow. "Whats?"

"Nothin'."

Another chuckle slowed the Swede's fingers on his fretboard. "Either tells me what am so funny or fucks off."

"I said nothin'."

"Then quits laughing."

"Jest a, uh. . .werd of advice. Muscle relaxers." Pickles paused. "I guess thet's two werds of advice."

"Huh?"

The bassist and frontman filed in then, closely followed by their manager. Toki breezed into the room about ten minutes after the hour.

"Ah, thank you for joining us." Charles adjusted his glasses after the small talk circulating the room died down. "Today should be quick. Have you boys made any progress, yet?"

"No." Nathan crossed his arms. "Are you going to ask us that every time we see you?"

"It's for your own good. Six months, and you don't have one demo? Nothing for me to send off to Crystal Mountain?"

"What did I just say?"

Charles pinched the bridge of his nose. "In that case, the agreement to let you go it your own on this record has been nullified. Knubbler and Abigail will be here at nine a.m. Monday morning—"

"Whoa, are you trying to schedule us?" Nathan narrowed his eyes. "You think we get creative when we're told to?"

"You're on the verge of missing the deadline you've known about for—"

"Fuck the deadline!"

Murderface glanced up from his phone. "Hold on, what did I hear about Abigail? Sche'sch back?"

"Yes, William. If you'd stop texting, you would've heard me say that."

"Maybe I'm crazy," Murderface stated loudly, "but doesch anyone remember the lascht time she worked with usch? Am I the only one that thinksch the bitch that nearly broke up our band schouldn't be in our schtudio?"

"Fucks off Moidaface, you thinks all that crap was her fault?" Toki snapped from across the table. "She never asks for Nathan and Pickle to use their dicks like metal detectors what ams only good for finding wimmins!"

"She is highly skilled at her job, so she's the ideal choice professionally. As for personally. . ." Charles looked between the frontman and drummer. "We're going to have a long discussion in my office, about sexual harassment and interpreting discouraging social cues."

"Now hold on! Every time I get in trouble, you addressch it here! I wanna know what you're going to schay to them!"

"Why're you talking about me like I'm a fucking idiot?" Nathan asked their manager. "I'm over it, all right? Pickles and I agreed—right, Pickles?—that there are more important things than women. Besides, if all she's gonna do is be a fucking tease—"

Toki's chair scraped away from the table. "Don'ts you dare talk about her like that. It ams all your fault that the band brokes up. All it takes to tease a stupids idiot like you is beings born a lady."

"This is strictly professional," Charles stated. "Toki, please sit down. I know everyone's tense, but there's no need for a fight to break out. And Nathan, Toki has a point. If we want this to work, everyone needs to mind their manners and be polite."

"This was Damien's idea, wasn't it?" Nathan asked. "Fuck, I hate that guy. Fine. He wants to play with us and our music, then fucking bring it on."

"They'll only be here as long as it takes for you to get on track. Crystal Mountain set the album deadline for September thirtieth, so if we allocate three months to recording, you have a little less than a month now to figure out what direction you're going."

"A month?" Nathan's eyes widened. "How the fuck did this sneak up on us so fast? Where have you been?"

"Yeeuh dood, you shoulda told us!"

Skwisgaar filed out of the conference room a half hour later with the others, just as quiet in his consternation. Setting the release date for next spring made it feel like they had all the time in the world. But. . .less than a month? They'd already been at it for half a year. What could they possible do in so few weeks? Fuck, at some point they were actually ahead of all this.

Quickly becoming an expert about the peaks of Skwisgaar's stress, Toki welcomed himself into the Swede's room as the evening turned to night. Slouched on the corner chair, he watched the blond's fingers fly over the frets. "You really don'ts got nothing to shows me yet, for guitar parts?"

"Don'ts remind me."

"Is that bads? I always kinds of thought you guys joking, when I checks in."

"Coulds we not talks about dis?" Skwisgaar requested. "Is nots like we beens fucking around. We beens at it de last six mont' and we comes up wit' a lot, but it amn'ts working."

"I wonders what Abigail and Knubbler woulds be able to do." Toki's eyes widened. "There isn'ts anything anyones can do if the ideas aren't there, rights?"

Skwisgaar set his guitar aside and leaned back on his elbows. He really didn't want to think about the record or the band. He'd be up all night already, planning for when he hit the studio tomorrow afternoon. "Does you talks to Abigail a lot?"

"I tries, ja. Usuallies we talk on Sunday night, unless one of us has a thing."

Of course Toki must've kept in contact with her. How come he never mentioned it? Just like his sessions with Twinkletits, it seemed common sense that Skwisgaar know these things. They spent enough time together. . .or so the Swede thought. "How am she doing, anyway?"

"Good! We talks just before I comes here." Toki smiled. "She's flyings over tomorrow, so we goings to pal arounds before we gots to work. Maybe goes into Mordland for the day, or something."

"I haven'ts heard anyt'ing about what she beens up to, de last year and a half. Hasn't seens her." The physical gap between he and Toki reflected how far out of the loop Skwisgaar felt about this part of the Norwegian's life. "You don'ts talk about her."

"I didn'ts know you really care, since you don't ask."

"It amn'ts a t'ing I thoughts I could just ask about, in case it ams just for you two to has."

"You shouldn'ts worry about offending me abouts that." Toki dropped onto his side on the bed, bouncing Skwisgaar. "There are a few things I don'ts like to talk about with that whole thing, but you cans ask what Abigail been up to. She wents to visit her parents for a while after she gots healthy enough to, in Barbados. Then she cames back to work because she figured she woulds go crazy if she didn'ts have something to do. So now she beens working on the west coast, just takings it easy."

"She handles all dis okay? Likes you?"

"Before she cames back to the States she was goings a little stir-crazy. Sittings around thinking wasn't gettings her nowhere, but others than that she's been okay. She gets that me and her just gots caught up with some crazy asshole. Whens we was in the hospital. . ." a flash of old anxiety flickered in Toki's face, "Twinkletits came to sees us. He tolds us that we hads a choice in how we goes on with life, basicallys that we coulds either be victims or survivors. For me, Toki was sick of beings the victim. It wasn'ts easy to says that right away, but you know what I means."

The shadow from Toki's eyelashes touched his cheekbones as he glanced down to where the Swede's fingers brushed his arm.

"Fors the record. . ." he said as he shifted closer. "I likes it when you ask these kinds of question. Is nice when you shows you care."

Deeming appropriateness always hesitated Skwisgaar. How could he empathize with what Toki and Abigail went through, when the details remained unspoken? He sought not to deepen his understanding out of respect. Toki probably relived his captivity with Twinkletits on a regular basis; he didn't need to do it here, too.

Regardless, a sense of exclusion dampened Skwisgaar's mood come Saturday, when Toki dropped Baldur off on his way to meet Abigail. Skwisgaar never did like it when someone other than him held precedence about Toki's life experiences. Of course he knew that made him a dick; Toki came to him about everything else, far as the Swede could surmise. Advice, entertainment, companionship, and sex should trump the little twinge of jealousy for Abigail having something Skwisgaar never could. She didn't present competition, or even a threat. Since when couldn't Toki have friends? Well, Rockso and Magnus fucking him up offered valid reason, but Abigail was good for Toki. He needed her.

You sound like a jealous, insecure girlfriend, he told himself. Just quit it.

To still his irrationality, Skwisgaar attempted to come up with something on his guitar that might impel their studio work forward. Baldur laid near the door, working relentlessly at the massive bone provided, and wandered about now and then along with his attention. Paranoid the animal might need to go to the bathroom, Skwisgaar struggled to attach his leash (how did Toki make him keep his head so still?) and headed for the nearest exit.

"Can'ts you just find a spot?" he goaded the animal. Baldur pulled him along, nose to the ground. Toki told Skwisgaar to keep a firm hold outside, since the wolf recently got in mind that he'd love to go play with some of his own kind. If Baldur suddenly took off, Skwisgaar would have no choice but to let go. Either that, or be drug along. Hopefully the wolf didn't realize that.

Dreading getting back to work, Skwisgaar pulled Baldur to a stop when they came to Toki's room. The wolf immediately went to his bed, leash in tow, and watched the Swede with big brown eyes. Now came the opportunity; lack of knowledge for Toki's schedule made it impossible for Skwisgaar to sneak onto the younger man's computer. Laid out on his stomach, Skwisgaar opened the laptop. "Don't looks at me like dat, Baldur."

Since when did Toki's computer have a password? It didn't late last night, when they caught an episode of their show before sleep. Oh, so Toki precipitated that Skwisgaar might try this? How hard could it be to hack, anyway?

More than likely, the Norwegian either used a name or some random object in his near vicinity. After going through the guys and all the friends Skwisgaar knew about, the Swede glanced about the room. His gaze landed on the wolf, who still stared right back.

baldur

baldur123

The desktop appeared. How predictable. If Toki really wanted to protect his secret, he would've just deleted the damn thing. But no, there it was, in the same place as always. Anticipation jumping, Skwisgaar grabbed the headphones off the bedside table. He slightly suspected that Toki hit the record button once while they had sex and used it to get off. If Toki wanted something like that, Skwisgaar wouldn't mind. . .so long as it remained on a device that either couldn't go missing or be tapped into from an outside source. He could've acquired consent first, though.

Rather than orphaned as Skwisgaar expected, the track belonged to Toki's artist tag in his media player. This had nothing to do with the Swede; never before did he dabble in electronic music, nor would something so upbeat ever—

Oh. Oh. A new suspicion arose, compelling Skwisgaar to keep listening rather than seek out the song Toki possibly switched the track title with. His foot tapped against the wall in time, then flattery completely obliterated any doubt when the same line repeating composed the lyrics, 'Han gjør min hjertslag. . .'

Skwisgaar set the song on repeat and planted his face in the blanket. No one had ever done something so stupidly sweet for him. All the fans that lit themselves on fire, jumped off a bridge, or outright sacrificed themselves in his name couldn't hold a candle. Maybe his affinity with the Norwegian biased him, but good fucking Odin. The only bad thing about it was that he needed to carry on as if he'd never heard it. He couldn't text his gratitude, nor could he catch the man later; not that he knew what to say, anyway. All he could do for the moment was let his feet move back and forth in the air and hide his grin.

The strike of inspiration he'd lacked for so long finally hit. Unfortunately, it didn't occur for Dethklok. All his effort going into the band left no will to sit down and get out the song birthed the first time he and Toki slept together. With a couple hours until he could reasonably expect Pickles and Nathan to rise, the time finally came.

After making sure no trace of his presence existed in Toki's room, he lugged Baldur back down the hallway and dusted off his own computer. The lead and rhythm guitar lines went down quickly, followed by the bass after he grabbed one off the corridor wall. If this project weren't so personal, he might've asked Pickles to do the drums; however, he'd have to rely on the software. Perfectionism and familiarity meant it didn't take long before Skwisgaar listened back through a finished product. Musically sound, the only thing his closeness to the track cheated him of was how it objectively translated for the listener. He only intended for an audience of one, so that simultaneously eased and sharpened his keenness on how this may be received. Only one way to find out.

He hesitated after addressing an email to Toki and attaching the compressed file. Was this an outright admission? Would Toki be that pissed, if he knew what the Swede did? Skwisgaar really didn't want to lie. . .

'hey toki dont b mad but i ams going 2 admit that i went on ur computer n lisened 2 that song. I feel bad 4 doing it but i dont regret it. How come u wudnt show it 2 me?'

It'd have to do. Skwisgaar didn't send it off yet, taking Baldur out again while he weighed the odds. He didn't want to lose Toki's trust, nor come off as someone that normally snooped through someone else's things. Really, if he never saw that song on Toki's desktop, the compulsion wouldn't have occurred.

A summoning text on his phone upon return to his room meant Skwisgaar needed to move along to the studio. He called a klokateer in from the hallway to take Baldur to his handler, grabbed his guitar, and paused at the door. Oh, fuck it. On a leap of faith, he jarred his computer out of sleep mode and hit Send. No going back, now.

Was it a good or bad thing that no response came via email or text by the time he, Pickles, and Nathan called it another night? Starting to worry, Skwisgaar's feet slowed when his bedroom came into sight. He had a feeling that whatever reaction he earned waited behind that door.

Sure enough, Toki came. The Swede hesitated in the doorway, anxiety alight, but the younger man didn't stir in the bed. In order not to wake him, Skwisgaar carefully set his guitar on its stand, slipped his boots off, and went through his nightly ritual behind a closed bathroom door. After ruffling the fur atop Baldur's head, he sat on the edge of the bed. Experience taught him that nothing more was necessary to wake Toki up.

Fingers folded together in his lap, he smiled when the Norwegian focused on him. "Hi."

"Hey." Toki yawned. "Wowie. I didn'ts mean to fall asleep here."

Skwisgaar chewed briefly on the inside of his bottom lip. "Ams you mad at me?"

"Ja."

"Dids you get de attachment?"

"Ja."

"Whats you t'ink?"

"I loves it, but I don'ts like how I gots it."

Skwisgaar directed his attention to his feet. "I apolgesac. I wouldn'ts has done it if it didn'ts have my name on it. Ams no excuse, I guess. I shoulds have respecksed your privacy."

"Ja, you shoulds have." Toki sounded more tired than angry, although that changed the longer they talked. "If I tells you to leave something alones, you do it. Is basics courtesy. If you has things you don't like me to touch, I respects that no matter what. So don'ts do it again, you hear me?"

The regret Skwisgaar earlier professed to not possessing trickled into his gut now. "I won'ts."

"Good. I sees you later."

Skwisgaar remained seated as Toki padded out of the room with Baldur on his heels. He knew he deserved it, but that didn't make it any easier to take. Never before had pissing Toki off bothered him so much, and he'd done way worse in the past. Squashing the urge to follow, Skwisgaar punched his pillow and tried to get comfortable. . .not that it would equate to sleep anytime soon.