Many thanks for reading and to everyone who has added the stories to their updates list. I appreciate the cyber applause!

Disclaimer: Only the idea is mine. Supernatural and the characters therein belong to the actors, writers, directors, producers, and technicians that bring it to life. Rated T, because there's a bit of cursing.

Dean called Sam twice while Alexa was asleep. The conversations were short, basically just updates on the fact she was still sleeping. Just after noontime, Sam noticed she seemed to be waking up and sent a quick text to Dean. He waited to see what she would do.

Alexa stayed still in the bed, letting her sleeping brain catch up to being awake. Waking up in a strange location with the feeling she was being watched put her on alert, but some part of brain eased her fear, telling her she was safe. Keeping her eyes closed, she tried to figure out why.

Ben. Ben got hurt. I'm at Lisa and Dean's house. Sam made me sleep. It's probably him I feel watching me. For the first time she noticed the scent tickling her nostrils. It was the same one she noticed whenever she sat near Sam for a while in the coffee shop. Of course it smells like Sam, you dolt. You're sleeping in his bed.

That thought was enough to propel her into a sitting position. Her legs tangled in the sheets as she struggled to swing her legs off the bed. She swore and yanked them out of the way viciously.

"Easy. The sheets didn't do anything to deserve that kind of vitriol." Sam put his laptop on the floor beside his chair.

"Dean must love it when you talk like that. Besides, I'm not abusing the sheets. They're attacking me." She finally succeeded in getting her legs free and put both feet on the floor.

"Knife's on the nightstand." Sam told her.

"Thanks." She retrieved it and slipped it back into place, pulling the leg of her jeans over the sheath.

"Nice socks."

"Huh?" Alexa looked down at her feet. "Shut up, Sam."

He smirked. "Redirecting your vitriol at me instead?"

"Go. Away." Combing her hands through her hair, she tried to ignore him.

"Nope. Lunch time. You want turkey or tuna?" He walked out to the hallway and headed for the stairs.

Alexa stretched out her leg and used her foot to pull her shoes over, then bent to put them back on. "Neither, thanks. I'm leaving now. Thank you for the nap. I'll see you tomorrow at the coffee shop."

When she was done, she looked up to find Sam standing in the doorway to the room.

"Turkey or tuna?" He asked again.

She stared at him. "You aren't going to let this go, are you?" He just shrugged a shoulder in response.

With a sigh, she responded, "Turkey, please."


A few minutes later they sat down at the kitchen table with turkey sandwiches and water.

"Thanks." Alexa said.

"No problem. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Good. No after effects."

Sam didn't respond, and there was just the sound of chewing.

Alexa finished up her sandwich, then looked over at Sam, clearing her throat. He met her eyes.

"So, do you think Lisa and Dean would mind if I made everyone dinner tonight? Would you? I'd like to do something to say thank you to everyone. For helping me out this morning, after..." Her voice trailed off awkwardly.

"I think they'd rather thank you." Sam watched her for a second. "You really don't know what to do with people helping you, do you?"

"Umm... no. I'm not good at that. Not a lot of practice. I've been on my own for so long. Anyway, do you think it would be okay? I'll go get some groceries and come back. What time do they usually get home? Would Lisa be ticked off at somebody messing with her kitchen?"

"I have no idea. I'll call Dean." Sam pulled the phone out of his pocket. Several phone calls later: Sam to Dean, Dean to Lisa, Dean to Sam, Lisa to Alexa, and the dinner was deemed acceptable. Sam had orders from Dean to watch Alexa make the meal, to make sure she didn't poison them all.

"She's going to be eating it too, Dean. But I'll watch anyway."

Sam went with her to the grocery store, trailing behind her, pushing the cart as she made her selections. A mom in the produce aisle kept trying to flirt with him, but he never noticed. The woman finally left for the frozen foods. Alexa rolled her eyes at Sam and told him he was a doofus. She didn't bother to explain when Sam asked why.

Back at the house, Alexa putzed around in the kitchen. First she made cookies, telling Sam that dessert always came first. She cleaned as she went, then started on dinner. He just sat at the table, using his laptop and watching her make the food.

Lisa, it turned out, was incredibly appreciative that someone else made her dinner. She repeated over and over that Alexa had nothing to thank them for, but that the gesture was a welcome change. She made a joke that the only thing Dean knew how to cook was peanut butter and jelly. "Breakfast of champions," Dean responded.

Dinner was broiled marinated chicken, roasted potatoes, fresh green beans, and a salad. There were kitchen sink cookies for dessert. Dean filled his plate with chicken and potatoes, made a brief face at the salad, and set in. Sam told him, "You know, Dean, it wouldn't kill you to eat a vegetable once in a while. You should set a good example for Ben."

Dean looked over at Ben's plate, filled with both potatoes and beans, with a bowl of salad on the side.

"Ben's doing just fine. Besides, I'm eating vegetables now. Potatoes are vegetables. And so are the lettuce, tomato, and onion I eat all the time on my burgers. Great dinner too, Alexa. Thanks. Seriously, this is awesome. Almost as good as Lisa's cooking." He recovered quickly, smiling at Lisa.

"You're allowed to like other people's cooking." She said airily. "Especially when you're right. This is good."

Alexa said, "You're all very welcome. Food always seems to taste better when you don't have to cook it yourself. And Dean, tomatoes are fruit, by the way."

He looked up in surprise, then looked for confirmation from the others. Even Ben nodded at him. Grimacing, he said, "You too? Now I have to deal with two walking encyclopedias? How much can one man take? And Sam, see? That just proves my point. I eat vegetables and fruit all the time. So quit hassling me." He smirked as Sam looked resigned. Everyone talked about mundane matters for the rest of the meal, mostly listening to Ben talk about his day at school or Lisa's about her day at work. When it was obvious everyone was done, Alexa began clearing the dishes.

"No, sit down. You cooked, we'll clean up," Sam said.

Lisa added, "House rules."

Dean said, "Speak for yourself." At a look from Sam, he continued, "I'll help when I finish what's on my plate."

"I can clean up. It's okay. I want to feel useful and..." Alexa stopped talking as Sam took the plate from her hand. She watched him put the dishes in the sink and add some dish soap. She gulped suddenly. Lisa was the only one who noticed.

"Are you okay, Alexa?" Lisa asked.

Alexa nodded, not trusting herself to talk. She pointed to the sliding glass doors. "Sorry. I'm going to go sit out there for a minute, okay?" At Lisa's nod, she turned and hurried out.

Sam and Dean stared at each other for a moment. Dean shrugged.

"What was that about?" Sam asked.

"I have no idea what's bothering her. Chick flick moments are your domain."

"Dean!" Lisa smacked him on the shoulder.

"What?"

Lisa tsked at him. Then looked at Sam. "You should go talk to her."

"You think so?" He asked. Lisa nodded. Dean just shrugged again and went back to his plate. Sam shot him a bitchface.

"Fine, Dean. You clean the dishes then," Sam said as he left the room.

Lisa laughed at Dean's groan. Ben joined in when Dean made a face and said, "you think it's funny? You're helping me, little man."

Together, the three of them cleaned up dishes and put the extra food away.

Lisa had two lounge chairs set up in the far corner of the yard. Sam found Alexa sitting with her legs criss-crossed in one of them. She was leaning back and gazing up at the stars. Sam sat carefully on the chair next to her. Though she didn't acknowledge his presence, he could tell she was aware of him. There was a subtle shift in her breathing, and a slight tension in her body as he settled into the chair.

He stretched out, feet hanging over the edge of the chair. For a while, he was content to just stare up at the stars with her, waiting for the tension to leave, waiting for her to relax. When he decided he'd waited long enough, he spoke.

"Dean and I used to sit and look up at the stars all the time. Especially when we were visiting Bobby. I used to make wishes constantly. I used to love finding the constellations too."

"Like Orion, the hunter?" Alexa joked.

Sam laughed, and answered, "Yeah, like him. But Dean and I called him John. Not that we ever told dad that."

"I used to wish on stars all the time too, but I stopped when I found out that the light was thousands of years old, and the stars I was wishing on were probably dead already."

"It does take some of the fun out of it, doesn't it?"

"I used to think that, but I changed my mind. Now I think it makes wishing even better."

"How does it make it better?"

"It's stupid."

"Doubt that. C'mon. Try me."

"Fine." She paused, then went on. "Because now, the stars represent hope – the hope that maybe the one you picked is still there, even though the light you're seeing is from ages ago. The belief that things go on, they continue. The idea that light and maybe love can still be there, long after the thing that created them has died."

A ghost of a smile touched Sam's lips. "I think I like your version better." He waited, then asked, "So what do you wish for?" and turned his head to look over at her.

Alexa smiled, but it seemed sad. "I don't."

"But you said..."

"I don't deserve to wish, so I don't."

"Why would you think that?"

"Please, Sam, just leave it. It's not important in the grand scheme of things." She paused, then plunged into the conversation she'd been dreading. "I'm sorry I left that way. Everything reminded me of my family and it was too much. Our house rule was that the cook never cleans, too. When my brothers were mad at me, they'd volunteer to cook and turn the kitchen into a disaster."

"How many brothers did you have?"

"Two."

"You said before your family was dead."

"A long time ago. Still hurts though."

"What happened to them?"

She shook her head no at him, signaling she wouldn't talk about it. Sam considered pushing her, but decided he wouldn't. Today was the first time she'd opened up at all. So he decided to change the topic.

"I've been thinking about the thing with the nightmares."

"Very subtle change of topic. And you want me to stop."

"I'm not sure yet. I don't know. I have some questions I'd like to answer first, if that's okay."

"Of course. Anything." She turned her head and looked in his direction. The lone light for the back yard filtered through the tree, so her face was shrouded in darkness. Sam just looked at her for a minute, trying to decide how to approach this.

"Dean told me that you take the negative emotions away, and that you replace them with more positive ones. Keeping things in balance?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Where do the emotions come from? The positive ones, I mean? The negative ones come from me – well, me and Dean. So where do the positive ones come from?"

"I should have known that would be your first question." She sighed, and turned back to the stars. "I guess they come from me."

"So you're giving your happiness to us, and taking our pain and fear. If we're feeling your happiness, does that mean you're feeling our pain? And if we're feeling your happiness, how do you get to experience it? Does it work the way healing Ben did today? Man, this is a weird conversation."

Alexa half laughed, half snorted. "Tell me about it. But, no. I still get to feel happy. I'm just sharing it with you."

"What about the pain?"

"It's not that bad... It doesn't last as long for me, because – I'm not sure really. Maybe because it isn't really mine? Maybe because I learned to push it away."

"But you do feel it?"

"Briefly. Not enough to be a problem."

"How did you learn to control it?" Sam asked, more out of curiosity than a real need to know.

"My mother helped me with some of it, before she died. But mainly I learned to deal with the nightmares from a family I stayed with. Their daughter had nightmares. The healing? Hospital. At first, I went to the older patients, the terminal ones. I eased their pain, or for some, their loneliness. Then one day, I met a girl. She had cancer. I went every day for almost a month to see Rachel. I told her what I could do. Every day I took her pain away, and every day I tried to heal her. The healing never seemed to work. I would think I made progress, but the next day, things would be as bad as the day before. Finally, Rachel told me to stop. 'Take the pain,' she said, 'but stop healing me.' She knew she was dying and that I wasn't strong enough to save her, but she told me that it was okay, because everyone dies. She said, sometimes dying was the right thing. But she also knew that I would come in every day to try and help her, so she made me promise to stop. We talked for hours that day. I left and the next morning when I went to see her, she was gone. She died during the night, with her parents there beside her. It was what she wanted, but I hated it. I still do."

"How old were you?" Sam's voice was no louder than a whisper.

"I was fifteen. Rachel was 19. She died just a few days after her birthday." Alexa smiled bitterly, then said, "She was the only friend I ever had, and I let her die, because she asked me to let her go."

Sam could tell that Alexa was crying now, tears slipping silently down her face. He moved on the chair, ready to comfort her. Immediately her body tensed up again.

"No, please. Don't."

He ignored her, and shifted over to her lounge chair. He nudged her knee until she relented, unfolding her legs and hanging them over the opposite side of the chair. They ended up left shoulder to left shoulder, facing opposite ways on the chair. Sam wrapped his left arm around her and pulled her close. A tremor ran through her body, then another. They continued, and Sam could feel her shivering, but he thought it was from the tears, not from cold. He felt the sleeve of his shirt get wet. When he wrapped his other arm around her and pulled her closer, the shivering stopped. Alexa could hear Sam's steady heartbeat beneath her ear. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the sound, unconsciously reaching out to him with her mind. She felt the stiffness in his back, the old twinge in the wrist he had broken a few years earlier. Fingertips tingling, she pulled away from Sam, before she inadvertently healed those minor pains without permission.

"Thank you." Tugging her shirt sleeves down, she wiped at her wet face.

"Is that the first time you've cried about it?"

"The second. I cried the day she died too, but there wasn't anyone around."

"You know that her death wasn't your fault."

Alexa just gave Sam a skeptical look. A sheepish look crossed his face.

"I know, I'm the worst person to be giving that advice. Everything that happened was my fault. I almost destroyed... everything."

"Actually that wasn't all your fault. But if you want to play the blame game, I'd be happy to go a few rounds, even if it is kind of pointless. You killed Lilith, but Dean broke the first seal. You died, but Dean made the deal that sent him to Hell and left you feeling horrible, but you felt horrible because Dean went to Hell in order to save you, etc. etc. It could go on forever. And then there's the angels involvement in the whole mess. There are larger forces at work here. And yes, I know you were part of 'Team Free Will'. But isn't that what free will is? You make the best choices you can at the moment, in that particular set of circumstances."

"Yeah, but that's part of what worries me, getting back to this nightmare thing. I thought I was making the best choice with Ruby, drinking demon blood so that I could get rid of the things without hurting the people they were in. It might have been the right reasons, but the rest of it was wrong." He shook his head. "So wrong. I'm worried that's going to happen here. To you maybe, doing the right thing, or so you think. Or maybe it's wrong for me, and for Dean. What if we need that pain somehow, to learn a lesson or, I dunno, something?"

"Sam. You've both learned the lessons, over and over. And I'm not taking that away, the memory is still there. I'm just distancing you from the pain, that's all. But I'll stop if that's what you want."

"No. This is the plan I came up with earlier. Tonight, just before bed, you take a nightmare while I'm awake, like you did with Dean. I want Castiel there, to get his take on it. If he's okay with it, and I'm good with it, then you can go ahead. How does that sound?"

"It sounds like a plan."

"Okay, good. Should we go back in?"

"You can if you want to. I'm going to stay for a bit more."

"Something still bothering you?"

"No. Yes. Sort of." Pulling her legs back up, Alexa turned and face Sam, sitting cross-legged again.

"I know that you want to hunt again. And I feel so useless. But I know how to hunt, I know how to use a gun, and I know how to use a knife, and I know how to fight, and I sure as hell can handle researching. I know what kinds of things you could be up against. I'm not an idiot and I think I'm supposed to be helping you. If helping you is confined to sharing cooking duty every once in a while, or healing a few broken bones though, I'm going to go crazy. Especially since Dean's culinary tastes severely limit the menu." The last muttered sentence sounded petulant, and Sam's lips twitched upward. She glared at him for a second, then half smiled. "What is it with him and salad anyway?"

"Sometimes I think it's just him. Other times I think that because I like them, he hates them. Purely out of brotherly love."

"Well, that's just dumb."

Sam's lips twitched again. "Yep, I suppose it is."

Alexa rolled her eyes at him, and flopped against the back of the lounge chair, staring up again at the stars.

Placing a hand on her knee, Sam said, "Hey," and waited until she met his eyes. "Come help me with some research. The rest... we can talk about. Dean and I, we'll need to see you fight before we bring you anywhere near a hunt, but we can talk about it. For now though, let's go do a few hours of research, figure out how to get Castiel here, deal with this nightmare thing, then get some sleep."

"Sounds like a better plan."

"So let's head in?" Sam started to rise, but Alexa's next words stopped him.

"Do you think Dean finished the dishes yet?"

He smiled and moved to sit down on the other chair. Getting comfortable, he said, "Let's look at the stars a little while longer."

"That's Cassiopeia." She pointed to a constellation.

"And there's Perseus." Sam pointed to another.


A few hours later, everyone except Ben was gathered in the living room. Ben was already asleep, his bedtime having come and gone while they waited for Castiel. Sam was sitting on the couch. Dean was casually sprawled across a chair. Lisa was perched on the armrest.

Sam quickly explained to Castiel why they had called him.

"I am sure what Alexa is doing is acceptable, Sam, but if you wish me to bear witness, then I will do so."

"Umm, okay, Cas, that's great. Thanks. Alexa?"

"Worst job interview ever. Evaluated by an angel." Dean smirked and turned off the television. The angel just looked at her blankly.

"Job interview?"

"It was a joke. A bad one, I guess. Not important. So, should we just get to it?" She raised her eyebrows, looking at each of them in turn.

"Sure, sure. What do I need to do?" Sam asked.

Moving to sit beside him, Alexa said, "Relax, first of all. You look like you're going to jump out of your skin. Then think of a bad memory or something you've been having a nightmare about."

"Sorry. I usually try to avoid thinking about this stuff, you know?"

"It'll be okay. Did you think of something yet?" When Sam nodded, she continued, "take my hand."

Dean interrupted, "You should touch him on the leg, like you did before." A blush rising on her face, Alexa shot a look Dean's way could only be interpreted as 'I swear you will pay for that.' Knowing that everyone would hear her anyway, but wanting to distract Dean and especially Sam from the rising color on her cheeks she whispered to Dean, "I will carve bad words into the hood of the Impala."

Dean's eyes widened and he answered, "That's just uncalled for."

Sam chuckled and said, "Good one. Wish I thought of that."

"Bitch." Dean said to him.

"Jerk."

"I am not witnessing anything worthy of worry here. Are we finished?" The angel asked.

"No, Cas, sorry. Think of something bad, take your hand." Sam closed his eyes and after a few seconds, held out his hand. "Got it."

Alexa reached out and took Sam's hand between both of her own. She pulled it into her lap and curled her fingers around his palm. Castiel watched, then bent down to observe more closely. Sighing, Sam grasped Alexa's hand more tightly. Flickers of pain danced over her features, but Dean was too busy watching Sam, and Castiel said nothing. Alexa relived the moments of Dean's death through Sam's eyes. She watched him get ripped apart by the hellhounds, watched Sam sit beside his brother's cooling body for hours, despite Bobby's attempts to move him. She watched when Sam and Bobby finally buried Dean and felt the tearing pain as Sam walked away from the grave. Everything moved forward and she felt it as Sam literally fell into Hell. There were no words, just images and sensations of pain and agony. Everything hurt and it never stopped. Gently, she tugged at the tangled threads of memory, teasing the wild despair caught between the strings out into the open. She passed along the feel of Dean's love for Sam, captured both in her visions and when she eased Dean's nightmare that first night. It rose to engulf the despair and anguish that was still there every time Sam thought of Dean's death and supported him through his memories of Hell. Soothingly, she smoothed the jagged edges of pain with love and hope. Emptying herself of everything positive, she soaked up everything that was negative in Sam at that moment. Alexa wanted desperately to prove to Castiel that this was a good thing, that it couldn't hurt the Winchesters, because if she was denied this small connection with them, this one moment when she could do something to make life easier for them, she thought she might just go crazy. It didn't matter how much it really hurt her, didn't matter that she knew for hours afterward she would be cold deep in her bones, aching in body and spirit, but refusing to show any of it. Because if they knew, they would stop her, never allow her this small sacrifice.

She heard Dean's voice say, "Uh, Cas, is everything okay there? I don't think it took this long when Alexa did it before."

"It's fine, Dean. Sam picked a very difficult memory, and Alexa is being thorough."

Sam must have heard them too, because he squeezed her hand gently and said, "Alexa, you can stop now. I feel... okay."

"So, Cas, what's the verdict?" Dean asked.

"There is nothing to be concerned about. Alexa is well versed in what she is doing, and there is no danger to it. It cannot hurt you. You may choose to let her continue or not, without any fears." After a long look at her, there was a whoosh, and the angel was gone.

"Awesome. Okay then, Sammy, off to bed with you. A good night's sleep will do you a world of good. Alexa, we'll see you tomorrow. Lisa and I are going to watch a movie or something." Dean had a sparkle in his eyes as he pulled Lisa from the armrest of the chair into his lap.

She yelped and giggled.

"Okay, leaving now." Alexa said and quickly got up and walked to the front door.

"See you in the morning, Alexa." Sam called as he headed up the stairs to the second floor.


Later that night, seated on the bed in her motel, Alexa was getting ready to sleep when there was a knock at the door. She peeked out and saw Castiel. Cautiously, she opened the door and let him in.

"Alexa, I have questions."

"Oh-kay."

"Thank you. First, can you use this as a weapon? Can you take away happiness and replace it with fear or pain? Have you ever done so? Why did you not tell Sam you were healing him as well? And why do you not tell them of your feelings? Human emotions are very important, I am sure they would both like to know that you are coming to care for them. Why do you deny them this?"

"Hush, Castiel, hush. I swear that is the longest speech I ever heard you make. And nine-tenths of it was questions. What has gotten into you?"

Castiel looked confused, peered down and patted his chest as if he were expecting to find something growing from it.

"I do not understand."

"And he's back." Alexa shook her head gently, looking at him. "Okay, let's see if I can answer those in order. Yes, theoretically I could use this as a weapon, taking away happiness, blah blah blah. But no, I've never done that, and I sincerely hope I never have to. I don't think I should ever do that. I didn't realize I healed Sam. I knew about his back and wrist from earlier, but I didn't consciously heal it."

"You healed Dean and Lisa as well," Castiel interrupted.

"I did? But I never even touched them." Surprise was evident in her tone.

"Yes."

"I healed them tonight?"

"Yes. Of minor aches and pains."

"How did I do that?"

The angel didn't answer. After a long moment, Alexa decided that he wasn't going to answer and continued.

"Huh. I've never unconsciously healed anyone before. That's strange. Where were we?"

"Why do you not tell Sam and Dean of your feelings?"

"Because they would not appreciate it. I've only known them both a few weeks. Weeks, Castiel. Just weeks. I feel strongly because of the visions and because of what I picked up when I helped with the nightmares. Honestly, I'm not even really sure what I feel. It's just I feel like I know so much about both of them, things they even hide from each other. But they know almost nothing about me. They are tolerating me because of the deal. You've told them my presence is necessary and they trust you, so I'm here. But right now, I'm a nuisance to both of them. I am quite certain that if you were to mention anything about feelings, Dean would run for the hills, screaming about chick flicks, and Sam wouldn't be far behind."

Castiel gazed at her for a moment, stoic. Then he said, "I believe you are incorrect."

"You are entitled to that belief. But I think talking to either of them about feelings right now is a mistake." She just looked into the crystalline blue of the angel's eyes.

He looked back, then began speaking again, "I think you are wrong. I do not think they would 'run for the hills, ' but I will respect your wishes in this, unless their ignorance threatens them."

"Can't see how that would happen."

"Perhaps. I have a final question. Who takes your nightmares, Alexa? Who takes your pain?"

Startled, she didn't answer for a few heartbeats. The angel waited patiently until she said, "No one does. The nightmares, the visions, the pain. Some things you just have to carry on your own."

He looked sad for a moment, then told her, "I think you are mistaken about that as well. And I am sorry you must carry such a heavy burden alone."

She said, "Thank you," to empty air, for Castiel had already gone. "I'm starting to hate that you do that," she told the ceiling.