Hi all, so glad to be enjoying fall break at the moment. With midterms over I hope to get a few chapters done so that I can work on subsequent chapters at my leisure. This one takes a little turn for the dark side, but it is part of the growing process for Bella. It is the beginning of accepting some harsh realities. As always Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters, I do not.
I was pretty exhausted as the plane touched down at Lindbergh Field. I had been traveling all day, leaving Forks this morning at 6 AM but flying was much easier than driving that is for sure. I grabbed my carry on and made my way to baggage claim. As I was waiting for the luggage to start making its way to the carousel I was nearly knocked over by the powerful hug that embraced me.
"Does this mean you missed me?"
"You have no idea, it's just not the same without you," Jaci responded.
"And you have no idea how great it is to be home." I said as I threw my arms around Jaci.
We held on to each other as we waited for my bag to make its way around to us. Jaci took my carry on while I grabbed my luggage. I followed Jaci to her black Acura RSX. As we climbed into the car Jaci spoke up.
"So, I know we were planning to go to the game tonight, but" Jaci looked at me with pure sadness in her black eyes, "I was kinda hoping that maybe I could keep you all to myself for the night. I'll make it up to you by making it a night of your favorites, Point Loma Seafood, Pinkberry and a sunset on the beach?"
I was really looking forward to the game tonight, being surrounded by all my friends again, but one look at Jaci and I knew there would be time to catch up with everyone else later.
"How am I supposed to say no to an offer like that? Nothing would make me happier than a night filled with all my favorite things, the most important of which is my sister."
Jaci let out a sigh of relief. We headed to her house to drop off my stuff and check in with Darla and let her know that we would be home later.
It was a short drive to Jaci's house. It was a medium sized home in the upscale Kensington neighborhood at the south east rim of Mission Valley. The older neighborhood was a collection of Spanish-style homes. Darla was at home already, she had a pretty flexible schedule as a tenured English professor at the University of San Diego.
Darla never remarried or dated as far as Jaci and I could tell after Jim died. It was sad in a way but she was still very much in love with her late husband. She liked to think of herself as one of us girls, which was ok with us because it meant we got quite a bit more freedom when she was in charge.
Darla came running out of the house to great us.
"Aw sweetie, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Darla said as she threw her arms around me, she continued whispering into my hair. "I was afraid I would never see our girl smile again. It's like she doesn't know what to do without her other half."
Darla's voice waivered as she finished so I pulled back to look into her eyes and she too had a sadness in them.
"Trust me there is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you guys. I can't thank you enough for bringing me home."
"I know, sweetie, I just wish I could convince Charlie and Renee to share custody of you. I'd keep you in a heartbeat," Darla added.
"Ok mom, would you please share my best friend?" Jaci asked.
We all laughed as we grabbed my bags and headed into the house. After dropping the bags in Jaci's room we all got comfy in the living room.
Darla asked how I was adjusting to my new school. I'm sure I lit up talking about Emmitt and the rest of the pretty people. She was just as appalled by Tyler and Mike's advances. Darla thought I should have told Charlie about it, but I assured her that I was fairly confident it was a once in a lifetime attempt on their part. Because really how often do new people move into the middle of nowhere.
As it got closer to dinner time Darla asked what we had planned for the weekend. Jaci answered, "We were going to grab some dinner and maybe just bum around by the beach for a while is that cool."
"What about the game?" Darla asked.
"Well we thought we would take tonight for just us, before we take on the masses," I answered for us.
"Oh," Darla paused, "Well you know I love you and trust you both, so here is the deal. This is a one-time offer, curfew is revoked for the weekend, have fun and enjoy this weekend. Make up for lost time and make it count for the time to come when you are apart again. Promise me you will be smart and be safe. All I ask in return is that I get you girls all to myself Sunday, brunch and mani-pedi's on me, are we agreed?"
"Yes!" Jaci and I answered in unison with matching wide grins.
"And don't even think about telling Charlie, he'll never let you come back" Darla smirked.
Our evening was quiet; we ate at one of my favorite local spots before heading to the beach to hang out. Jaci steadily avoided talking about Lucy or much of anything else relating to school. We did reminisce about our childhoods together.
While I was comfortable in our bubble I knew that we would have to talk about what was up sooner or later. I decided to enjoy tonight, after all I didn't know how long it would be before I got to just be with my best friend. We talked late into the night, between fits of giggle we eventually fell asleep.
Saturday we woke mid-morning and headed to the Broken Yoke Café in Pacific beach, best French toast ever, always worth the wait. After breakfast we headed back to Jaci's to lounge by the pool before getting ready for tonight.
We were laying out in a comfortable silence when I decided to broach the subject, "So are you ever going to tell me what's up or are you going to continue avoiding anything and everything to do with Lucy and school?" I didn't have to open my eyes to see the shock on Jaci's face.
"I um…well…I just…it's nothing, really," Jaci stumbled to get out.
"I can tell, it couldn't be more nothing, right? Come on Jaci I may be living eleven hundred and some odd miles away but I know you, it wouldn't matter if I was on the moon I would know when something was up with you."
"I…I'm sorry I know I've been off. I just, I don't know how to explain it. It's just not the same without you," Jaci explained without really saying anything at all.
"Ok…but you're going to have to do better than that," I prodded.
"It's not one thing, it's lots of things. At first things were much the same as before, only you were missing. It was like you were in the next room and would be joining us at any moment. Then Lucy started acting different, maybe I was acting different, whatever it was just different. I never realized that you were the glue that held us together," Jaci looked at me with tears in her eyes. "By the end of the first week of school we weren't even speaking to one another anymore. Now it's like we are not even friends or never were."
"Jaci, are you sure it's all on her, you have been known to check out when things get tough?" I asked as gently as possible.
"I know it's not all on her. I never said it was. Jesus, give me some credit. I knew it was going to be hard, but I also didn't have any plans on becoming a hermit just because you left. I figured I still had one of my best friends to lean on. I thought she would miss you as much as I did and we would be there for each other. You know it's not just me she has forgotten." Jaci finished with tears streaming down her face.
I threw my arms around her, "Aw don't cry. I'm sure it can all be worked out we just need to get to the bottom of it. I'll call Lucy and we will get together with her before we head over to Alex's party tonight."
"I don't know," Jaci responded sounding less than convinced.
"You still want to go to Alex's tonight right?" The answer was in her eyes before she opened her mouth.
"Yes, I just meant I don't know if this is something that a bitch session with you refereeing can fix," Jaci amended.
I tried calling Lucy several times but she was still screening. We eventually started getting ready, I assumed we could trap Lucy at the party and force reconciliation. I would not be leaving tomorrow without fixing things between my girls.
I teased Jaci the whole way over to Alex's house. She had harbored a crush on him since freshman year. Maybe it's time for me to play matchmaker.
As we pulled up to the large obviously teen packed house, it felt like old times. I knew that we would walk through the door and be greeted by our friends; I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about seeing Jake or Lucy. He never did respond to my heartfelt email a couple of weeks ago, and Lucy has yet to answer or return any of my phone calls.
As we approached the door the music was vibrating through the door. We walked in making our way to the kitchen. There was a look of shock to see me before people recovered and welcomed us. After lots of hugs and more than one explanation that I was not moving back, just visiting I was able to slip away with a drink. I hadn't seen Jake or Lucy yet so I decided to make the rounds. Jaci was enjoying some flirty face time with Alex at the moment.
After talking to Seth and Paul for a while they assured me that Jake was coming tonight. I decided to go to the bathroom to freshen up before I saw Jake. He would not be too happy if I was sloppy drunk. I figured I could slip into Alex's sister Jane's room and use her bathroom; his parties had gotten a lot better since his sister left for college. She was always such an uptight bitch.
She is probably some mob boss's 'Candie', stripping at Badda Bings after dropping out of UNLV. Snickering at the image in my head I opened her door.
My jaw was hanging open, I wanted to shut it along with my eyes but I couldn't it was like I was paralyzed. The world must have flipped on its axis. I'm not sure how long I stood there watching the scene in front of me but it felt like forever.
"…the fuck…" I'm not sure when my voice returned to me but it was clear when they heard my voice.
"Bella" confusion colored their expressions as they scrambled to right their clothes and face me.
"I…you…but…I can't do this," and I couldn't, all I could feel was pain. Two people I love and missed horribly were just about to, I can't even think it.
"Bella wait," Jake called.
I spun on my heel and started to run down the hall. Ow, fuck. Jake yanked my arm making me face him. The pain of seeing Jack and Lucy in the midst of…whatever…was wearing off now there was anger boiling inside of me. I was trying to pull my arm out of Jake's grip but he just tightened his hold.
"Fuck Jake you don't get to touch me, not now. Let go." I demanded.
"First of all, you've been drinking; second, you are not going to talk to me like that; and third, you are going to calm down." Jake spat at me.
What the fuck does he have to be pissed about?
"Excuse me are you fucking delusional? I don't have to follow your rules anymore, you broke up with me remember. I assume that is why you were about to stick your dick in my best friend, or was she just another one of your fuck-friends" I didn't even finish my rant before I felt Jake's heavy hand make contact with my cheek. Mother fucker, that smarts. Hissing through the pain I raised my head back to him.
"Fuck you!" I yelled in his face as I kneed him in the junk.
"Ghu-na," Jake doubled over.
I figured it was as good a time as any to walk away, Jake grabbed my arm again, forcing me to look at him. I don't know what he expected to find in my eyes but whatever it was hatred maybe, fucking asshole, he thought he could change it by smashing his face into mine.
Really, kissing me is going to change anything. I bit down on his lip, as he groaned I continued to bite down until I tasted the telltale flavor of bitter rust. Jake pulled back sucking his bleeding lip back into his mouth.
"Fuck you Bells, you aren't worth it" Jake finished his summation of me with a shove.
I remember the shove but how in the hell did Jaci catch me, was she standing behind me the whole time? She must have caught me right. I was lying on a couch with my head in her lap. Jaci was running her hands through my hair and I felt something cool and wet on my forehead. Fuck my body hurts. Rolling my eyes I tried to right myself. Oh god, my head hurts worse than my body.
"Hey," Jaci said timidly.
"Did you catch me?" I asked still very confused. Why was it so quiet now? I looked around the room, "Where is everyone?"
"Well, after Jake threw you into the credenza, Alex and Demerti showed him out. Lucy scampered after him. The party kinda broke up after that." Jaci explained.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry Alex," I forced myself to sit trying to ignore the pain I felt everywhere, "your party," Jake threw me into a credenza? "your mother isn't going to kill you is she, did we break anything?"
Laughing Alex patted my knee, "Don't worry about the party, there will be another one next week, and mom always buys the most expensive and sturdiest shit, I'm more concerned with you. You blacked out on us for a bit. How are you feeling?" Alex's laugh was cut short by his concern for me.
Rolling my neck, trying to inconspicuously move all my muscles, I did a quick mental inventory, "I feel a little stiff, and my head hurts. I'll probably be sore as a mother tomorrow, but I think I'll live." As I brought my hand up to run through my hair, I winced at the goose egg protruding from the back of my head.
"Yeah, well that's bound to happen when you take on rod iron and marble," Alex informed me.
I noticed Alex and Jaci were sitting pretty close to one another. Maybe by being body slammed into iron and stone, I played cupid tonight after all.
"So, Lucy and Jake, did you know?" I asked Jaci.
"No, but I guess her cold shoulder makes more sense now. I'm so sorry Bella, I should have known, I should have been able to warn you." Jaci started to ramble.
"It's not your fault. Although I take it they had no idea I was going to be here." It was more of a statement than a question.
"Well like I told you, Lucy and I haven't been talking and you know Jake and I have never really gotten along all that well." Jaci was trying to make excuses.
"I'm not upset with you. I love you, you're my sister always have been always will be" I affirmed.
"It's pretty late why don't you guys just crash here tonight?" Alex offered.
I didn't have to look at Jaci to feel her desire to stay so I answered before she made an excuse to go, "that sounds great, and I would rather not sneak back into the house tonight."
Jaci looked at me trying to see how serious I was about wanting to stay, "are you sure?"
"Positive, I'd be more than content to curl up right here," I replied.
"You don't have to do that, D and Jen already called the guest room, but you're welcome to crash in Jane's room," Alex said.
I felt myself blanch at the thought of walking back into Jane's room, "thanks Alex, but if it's alright with you I'd rather not go back into Jane's room and might I suggest you burn her sheets?"
"Oh, sorry, I didn't think about that. You can crash here or even in my parents room if you want," Alex was trying really hard to make me feel welcomed.
"I'm good, thanks anyway. Can I get some ibuprofen and some water?" I asked.
After everyone had left the living room, I padded off to the bathroom to wash my face. I bit back a moan when I saw myself. My left cheek was puffy and red; my eyes were outlined with purplish bruises. I had an angry looking hand print wrapped around my bicep. Against my better judgment I lifted my shirt to get a look at my back. There was the start of some vicious bruising from my shoulder blades to just above the small of my back along my spine. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Thank god this isn't my first rodeo. I would easily be able to convince Charlie and Renee I had stumbled backward whacking my head, black eyes from a mild concussion wouldn't kill me and they knew it. It always looks worse than it is. My arm and back could easily remain hidden by clothes. With a sigh I turned on the water to wash my face, hissing when the water made contact with my tender face. I finger brushed my teeth and popped an altoid before making my way back over to the couch.
I figured I should probably stay awake for a while so I flipped on the TV. After flipping channels for a while I settled on Adult Swim. Eventually I dosed off into a restless slumber.
Jaci shook me awake at nine the next morning. I had a massive headache and my back was killing me.
"We better head home so we can clean up before doing brunch with Darla" Jaci reminded me.
"Shit, how are my eyes?" I asked hopeful.
"Well you don't look like you stepped into the ring with the champ, but it is obvious you took a few hits," Jaci grimaced.
After a long good-bye between Alex and Jaci she joined me in her car. As we drove home she kept looking over at me from the corner of her eye.
"Just ask already," I relented.
"Well, you seem fine, but how are you, you know with everything?" Jaci ever the tap dancer.
"To be honest, I don't know. It hasn't really set in yet. I guess I'm numb which is perfectly fine with me. So let's not worry about it, I want to enjoy the rest of the weekend with you and Darla." I answered.
Jaci's mouth was set in a thin line as she eventually nodded in concession.
I was desperate to relieve the tension in the car.
"More importantly, what did you do last night slut?" I asked humor evident in my voice.
Jaci turned beet red, but her smile was telling. "Oh my god, I never knew. If I had only known I would have approached him sooner," Jaci gushed.
"Knew what? How great sex is, or how great sex is with Al-ex?" I teased drawing out his name.
"No you bitch; I didn't have sex with him. We talked, a lot. He told me he has had a crush on me for nearly as long as I have him. We kissed and talked and fell asleep in each other's arms," Jaci finished with a far off wistful look on her face.
"I'm so happy for you babe, just make sure he treats you like the goddess you are. I love you and want you to be happy," I finished patting her leg.
"I will and I am," Jaci's smile faded as she looked back over to me, "but what about you?"
"Don't you worry about me. Enjoy what you have, I feel so much better about having to board that plane today knowing, you have someone here to support you" I smiled at her, though I hoped that she wouldn't see the tears in my eyes behind my sunglasses.
The rest of the day passes with little drama. While Darla was not pleased with the more violent events of our weekend, true to form she didn't lecture. They both hugged me gingerly at the airport in an effort not to press on the now ever darkening purple marks marring my spine. I thanked them again for having me as the three of us sniffled though our goodbyes.
As I sat on the second leg of my return flight to Seattle, the events of the weekend played on endless loop in my head. I was so excited to go home for the weekend, but now I couldn't wait to get away. I am going to miss Jaci immensely but I know that she will be ok; Darla and Alex will make sure of it. With that single step into Jane's room last night Lucy and Jake took away the last of the illusion. My life in San Diego had not been perfect and wishing fervently to return would not make it perfect.
My life in Forks was no better; I was barely treading water trying to stay afloat. Never having felt more alone or lost, I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the window. I didn't even care that I had silent tears streaming down my face in public. I turned up the music on my iPod, ignored the ever-growing pain in my back and let each tear fall from my face taking with it all my pain and sorrow. When the plane touched down in Seattle, I was out of tears and feeling hollow inside. I arranged my face into a semblance of a smile that I am sure didn't touch my eyes and made my way to baggage claim where I knew Renee would be waiting to take me back to Forks.
So, dark-ish like I said but don't worry Emmitt should bring some light back to Bella. This was a pretty short chapter, but with good reason, Bella just got body slammed by reality. Like most of us one dose isn't going to cure her. She will make quite a few more bad choices before she is ready to move forward.
Please review, I'm dying to know what you all think.
