A/N: This story chapter contains graphic violence, psychological trauma, and language, don't read if you're under 18.
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns twilight.
Thanks to the lovely DreamingPoet1988 for her beta skills.
Fic recommendation of the week:
Outside the Bubble – by OvertlyConcealed
It's a hilarious story about a very shy, phobia laden Edward and an awkwardly obsessed Jasper.
Sanctum
Chapter 7 – How to save a life
Jpov
As we waited for the assault teams to return, I felt a prickle of sweat on the back of my neck. I had never been completely comfortable in the field. Part of the reason I joined the medical branch of Sanctum is because I demonstrated gun-shyness when field tested. I would balk about twenty percent of the time when in simulations where I was faced with a life or death decision that required me to take lethal action.
One failure in five was enough to recommend to Sanctum that I would be a risk if I were permanently assigned to a field team. I was fine with this assessment, since I was use to the work of a medic anyway. It also afforded me an excuse to avoid going into the field right up until Carlisle was wounded.
Since then, I'd been trying to train several agents to perform field medic duties so that if the need arose, I could still avoid putting myself in a situation where I might be a detriment to the team. My motives were not purely unselfish, but given that I had the potential to blow an op by being a coward I felt justified in trying to take precautions.
When Riley stumbled out of the corridor with a gunshot to the leg, I sprang into action. This I could deal with. A wounded man was an easy thing to prioritize, and I focused entirely on the matter at hand, discerning quickly that the bullet had passed through his leg cleanly and had missed all major vessels. Still, I had to stanch the bleeding, and it wouldn't hurt to disinfect and wrap the leg until I could take the time to properly stitch it. I wasn't sure how much blood Riley had lost, but he was wavering near unconsciousness, so I bound the leg as quickly as possible, then started checking the rest of his body over, making sure I hadn't missed any injuries.
I had been unaware of my surroundings for several minutes while I dealt with Riley, assuming Edward would warn me if there was trouble. I was jerked back to awareness when I heard a cry of pure rage. It was female, and it definitely wasn't Alice or Rose. I was confused for a moment. The sound came from behind me, and I rose up to a crouch, peering over the edge of an overturned table. I barely had a chance to take in the scene.
Edward was standing over two women. They looked like the two he had shot in the apartment a week ago. Both were prone, but one looked wrong. Her body was at an odd angle to her neck. I analyzed the scene rapidly, assuming that the two women had attacked Edward and he had defended himself. I felt a wave of nausea as I realized the angle was due to a broken neck. Edward had killed.
There was one additional figure, but Edward was blocking my view of her. I determined the scream had come from her. Edward was looking down at the dead woman blankly. I could almost imagine the current of thoughts that would be running through his head. I knew how he felt about killing. I had heard his story. I knew his friend and possible first love had abandoned him after killing someone. Jack had been so traumatized that he couldn't even talk to Edward and explain what was going on. I cringe inwardly at the knowledge that Edward had killed, uncertain as to his reaction. Edward raised his head to look at the woman in front of him.
The world seemed to pitch as a shard of sound rang out in the empty room. Edward slumped to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut away. I felt blood rushing in my head, I couldn't think. I stared blankly at the woman in front of me, a thin wisp of smoke curling out of the barrel of a pistol held loosely in her hand. Her face was a mask of hatred, her comically disproportioned features twisted by rage into a macabre caricature.
I couldn't take my eyes off the scene; Edward lay on the bare floor, dark liquid seeping slowly out around his body. He was motionless as a corpse. I saw the woman register my presence and a vindictive smile broke across her face. She raised her hand, pointing the pistol at me, and I squeezed the trigger.
Somewhere in the confusion and horror of the moment, I had positioned my weapon to point at her through the table. A confetti of shattered wood swirled around me as the barrier between my gun and the woman exploded. Her body jerked crazily as I continued to hold the trigger down. Ice flooded my veins as I watched her slump against the wall, leaving a bloody stain as her mangled corpse sank to the ground, face still frozen in her last expression of surprise and pain. The gun thudded against my chest as I released it. I heard boots running toward me and at once, Alice and Rosalie were in the room.
Rosalie gasped at the scene and moved to Edward, kneeling over his body. I turned away, unable to watch my worst nightmare unfold in front of me. I felt a hand on my shoulder, Alice. My vision blurred as hot tears splashed against the lenses of my goggles. I tore them off and threw them against the ground, hearing a dull crunch as the lenses shattered against concrete.
I felt numb; the only part of my entire body that I was aware of was the frantic beat of my heart as it tore in two. I struggled to breathe, completely coming undone until I heard Rose.
"He's alive, but he's bleeding out. Jasper, I can't save him without your help."
Rosalie pov
"Alice, I need Jasper's bag over here, Masen is alive, but he won't stay that way if I can't stop this goddamn bleeding." I need her head in the game if I'm going to save a life. She looks up at me and nods, running to Riley and grabbing Jasper's bag. I don't know if we can keep Edward alive long enough to transport him to Sanctum, but I'm going to give it my best shot.
Jasper's hands join mine as we try to keep pressure on Edward's neck. I'm fairly certain the bullet nicked his carotid artery and I say as much to Jasper. Our hands are slick with blood as I fumble in the case for a suture. I can't do the stitch, my hands aren't steady enough. I push the forceps into Jasper's grasp, noting that he seems to be almost sleepwalking.
He seems to realize what we need to do, and he starts to feel along the wound for the tear in the vessel of Edward's neck. He grasps something in one hand and starts to stitch the rupture closed. His hands are sure and steady though his face is awash with sweat and his eyes are wide and unseeing in the darkness of the complex.
I'm not sure if our quick work will save Edward. It seems like a river of blood has already covered the ground around him. Jasper finishes the suture and I apply a bandage to Edward's neck. I wipe the hair out of my face and feel a cool wetness on my cheek, Edward's blood coats my hands. I see Jasper begin to shake and I try to comfort him as he sits back and slumps to the floor, curling into the fetal position. I can't even imagine what I would feel if I ever saw Emmett nearly killed in front of me. The room begins to fill up as the rest of Alice's and my teams join us. Emmett shows up moments later.
"Rosie, are you alright?" Emmett's concern cuts through my pensive mood and I nod, grabbing the proffered arm and pulling myself up from the floor.
"Em, Masen has been shot, he's lost a lot of blood. We need to get him out of here as soon as possible. Leave Templeton, Smith, and Black here to keep a watch on the Volturi. We're going back to Sanctum."
Emmett nods and turns to his team, Alice is trying to calm Jasper down, though I'm not sure he'll be any better than Masen if we don't get them both out of here. I grab rifles from a few other agents and use some bandages to lash them together. I make a slapdash stretcher using a couple vests and we carefully lift Masen up onto the contraption. I point to the woman who was unconscious when I arrived and instruct that she be brought along. If she's responsible for Masen, I want a go at her before anyone else.
I get a couple of the burlier members of our force to hoist Masen up while I make sure the prisoner is well bound. Alice helps Jasper to stand and holds onto him, guiding him through the dark. Emmett brings up the rear as we retreat out of the building, all our attention focused on making sure we don't lose anyone, even if they are somewhat juvenile and hugely distracting to our young doctor.
We make our way to the point of entry, and find that the one guard we'd left has been incapacitated. I see a board lying next to him and check his vitals. He has a strong pulse, and he starts to come around when I shake him gently, whoever assaulted him was clearly not intent on causing maximum damage, they were running. I radio to the perimeter teams to find out if any of them have seen traffic out of the building and get the response that none have seen foot or ground traffic, but that a helicopter took off from the roof of the building we entered from. I curse, realizing that I forgot to add the adjacent roof as a possible point of exit. Someone has slipped through our fingers, possibly killing Masen in the process.
We have to set aside all this. I call in a few agents to cover the secret exit until we're absolutely sure that no more Volturi are loose in the facility. In the meantime we reach the vans and load Masen in.
"Emmett, I need to get him to Carlisle. Jasper is in no frame of mind to operate, and we need the full medical facilities in any event. I need you to take out the Volturi covering the back entrance so that we can get in. Hopefully, with all the confusion here, they won't be able to coordinate retaliation until well after we're all safe inside." Emmett nods and gathers me up for a quick kiss, brushing the hair out of my face as he does.
"You got it, Rosie; they'll never see us coming." He motions for a couple agents to join him and heads for one of the cars.
Alice and Jasper are in the back of the van, the rest of the agents have retreated to help with the cleanup and to gather any information left behind on servers or in hard files. I hop into the driver's seat and start up the van. I pull out and drive, hopefully bringing us all toward a better conclusion than most have suffered at the hands of the Volturi.
Emmett pov
Edward is a cool guy. I can totally see him being Carlisle's kid. Jasper is over the moon, naturally. I'm happy for anyone to find the sort of connection Rosie and I have, so maybe it's easier for me to deal with the fact that he used to be Volturi.
After eavesdropping on some pretty deep conversation, I have come to believe that Edward has been trying to escape from the Volturi for years.
When we got back to Jasper and Edward and I saw them on the ground, I immediately assumed the worst. I've been in enough raids like this to know that the Volturi don't mind dropping us when they get the chance. The body up against one wall was little more than shredded meat, and seeing Jasper with blood covering his hands, curled up like a little kid, it wasn't hard to put the pieces together without being told.
Rosie thinks that she can save Edward, so I'll do my part. Anything to keep Jasper from going through what I experienced when I lost Will.
8 years ago
I was always a dick to my younger brother, Will. He was kinda shy and a lot awkward, and I was varsity. For all my teasing, nobody ever gave him shit. We were thick as thieves all through high school and college. When he wanted to move from the dinky little town of Nowhereville, Ca to the big city, I came along. My freelance personal training business worked just as well in LA, maybe a little better, since I was really good and knew my shit backwards and forward.
Will got a reporting job at some independent magazine, exposing the evils of the world to anyone who read that kinda thing. I started building up a clientele of mainly crappy actors who wanted to learn some stunt moves to be viable as extras in action flicks.
We were pretty cool roommates, since we both had a healthy respect for the bro code, and both knew to put a sock on the door when a lady was visiting. I thought our life was fucking perfect. I'd hang with Will most evenings, ribbing him about his many lady friends, he'd get all indignant and make some cerebral quip that would go completely over my head. I didn't mind being insulted, so long as my manliness wasn't called into question. (I'm pretty sure it wasn't. What does mendicant mean, anyway?)
When we'd been in LA for about 3 years, Will started working on some story that he said was going to make his career. He went on and on for weeks about how he was tracking down this guy and figuring out that connection. I didn't really pay attention because I didn't have a particular interest in organized crime.
Then I came home one night, and entered the apartment to find a woman strangling my brother.
I did everything I could. I knocked the woman out and tried to do CPR, but when the police and ambulances arrived, they said there was no way to save his life. I tried to explain what had been going on, but somehow Will's research was all gone: every scrap of paper, his laptop, his phone and PDA. The police thought I was delusional. I wasn't even sure what had happened.
I did what any sensible person with extensive martial arts training would do, I went vigilante on their asses.
I spent almost a month tracking down every name I could remember from Will's rants. I found 3 Volturi and treated them to the same fate my brother had suffered. It wasn't enough. I tried to escalate, breaking into the magazine's office. I was arrested for B&E and suspected vigilante activities.
Esme sprung me when she heard about Will. She offered to let me come work for Sanctum, to let me repay blood for blood. What do you think I said?
Present day
I know there are at least 3 teams of Volturi covering Sanctum, one for each entrance. We scoped out the place when we got back, thinking maybe there was a way of getting a signal through their equipment or taking them out with minimal risk. Alice said that if we tried, we'd likely lose the tactical advantage we had. The Volturi thought they had all but 3 of us penned up. They would never expect an assault to come on their HQ when Sanctum was under 24 hour surveillance. I grumbled a bit, but shut up, cuz Alice knows shit.
I hope this is the right play. Rosie says Masen needs surgery, but we get one shot to get in, then we have to figure out a strategy to deal with these pussies on the outside.
On the bright side, the Volturi working here in Seattle aren't the cream of the crop. Their strategy is fucking pathetic. They apparently have no sense of self-preservation, judging from the piss poor job they're doing concealing themselves. If I were that sloppy, I'd want me to come kick my ass for being a slipshod little punk. Don't mind if I do.
I'm pretty sure I could take down all three of these bozos with no problem, but I'll take some backup, just in case. The apartment they're using for surveillance couldn't be more obvious or less secure. It takes me less than 10 seconds to pick the lock, and they have no idea I'm coming. I bring my gun up to bear and pull the pin out of a flash-bang. I throw the grenade in through the door and pull it to, waiting for the pop and sizzle to be over.
All three of the agents are down, which, seeing them, I feel a little bad about. Seth isn't half bad, and if I'd known he was with the team, I might have approached with a softer touch.
Seth stays on the ground, groaning and fisting his eyes. He knows what's going on, and he knows he can't help by moving around blindly. The other two are less cooperative, I grin.
The first one goes down with a little love tap, and the second appreciates my bear hugs even less than Alice. I get to the window just in time to see Rosie pulling into Sanctum. Mission accomplished. Damn I'm a fantastic hunk of awesome. I would totally slap my own ass if people didn't keep looking at me funny when I do it.
Esme pov
From the ongoing personal journal of Esme Cullen
July 28, 2011
It's been a week, and I'm still stuck in my own home. Carlisle has been unable to penetrate the signal jamming technology in place. I hope that Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett are aware of our predicament. If we do not hear from one of the three within the next 24 hours, I'm going to have to take this situation in hand. We cannot allow the Volturi to dictate our actions, and while I hate putting my men and women into unnecessary danger, I must regain control of this city. Perhaps it is my fault. I have grown lax, I was not vigilant where Masen was concerned, he was clearly the vanguard of a larger force, and should have been dealt with immediately.
Jasper is not to blame, he was following Carlisle's orders, but I hope that he has not—
An alert sounds from my computer and I swivel to face the monitor. A van kept off-site has just entered the facility with Rosalie's identification. I smile for the first time in days; one of my children, at least, is safe. If Rosalie drove into the complex, the team guarding that entrance must also have been dealt with, or so I assume. Perhaps Emmett?
I rise swiftly from my desk and walk out to ops, calling a guard to accompany me, in case of foul play. I have not seen any of the four missing agents in over 6 days, and I will not take chances. I feel that it is them. I feel that my children are all safe and sound once more. I see Alice at the end of the corridor and break into a broader stride, closing the distance as I hold my arms open. Her expression is calm, but worried. I notice her tactical gear with some trepidation. I cannot think of why she would thusly gear herself simply to return to Sanctum.
"Alice, is everyone alright? Rosalie? Emmett? Did you find Jasper?" I need answers to all these questions. She stops in front of me, and by her posture it almost seems like she is blocking my path. Perhaps my prediction was wrong.
"Tell me no one is injured. Where are Rosalie and Emmett, Alice?" I cannot keep my voice dispassionate. So much has happened in the last week, I pray Masen's escape did not end in bloodshed.
"Rose and Em are fine, Esme. We found Jasper."
"Then what could the problem possibly be?"
"Esme, I need to tell the full story." She's being evasive, but I've never known Alice to act without considering how best to approach a situation. Given my excessive rage over the past few days, I check my temper before it can escape and nod curtly.
"My office, then?" She nods and tension seeps from her body. I turn on my heel and stride purposefully back to my domain. Alice follows.
I sit across from the dark haired woman and examine her closely, looking for a clue as to what could be happening that she is trying to distance me from. I notice that one of her palms is coated with blood and I feel my fist clench. Someone is hurt, bleeding. I play idly with a pen from my desk, spinning it between my fingers.
"Tell me Masen didn't hurt Jasper," the cold feeling in the pit of my abdomen starts to work its way up my spine. Alice looks like she's trying to collect herself, "Alice, if you don't start talking, I may strangle you." I intend the comment to be flippant, but it comes out weak and strangled and entirely too serious sounding. She looks up at me with wide eyes.
"We assaulted the main base of Volturi operations just over an hour ago." I feel my entire body go rigid, no op was sanctioned, and they had no authorization or equipment. She must be joking.
"The three of you? Or was it four?" I'm not amused by her attempt at humor.
"I called up the teams that are in deep assignment, as well as our friends with the police." There's no way she knows about the deep cover teams, Carlisle doesn't even know. The records are sealed in case of a security breach. A million questions swirl through my mind, vying for priority, each seeking purchase in the forefront of my thoughts.
"We had help," Alice continues, "Jake was on the inside, and Masen…" the pen drops from my grasp, clattering loudly on the desk, causing me to jump.
"I need to start from the beginning," Alice's eyes are beseeching, pleading with me to listen before I judge. She recounts how she found Jasper and Masen in an apartment together. She tells me that Masen disabled 4 Volturi, allowing the three of them to escape. They met up with the others and planned out an assault on the Volturi main base, knowing that Sanctum would be under close surveillance and they would have the element of surprise.
They assembled teams and swept through the base. Most of the injuries were minor. Alice was rounding up some Volturi when a group evaded her and made their way to the temporary base. Jasper was tending wounded, and Masen held off the Volturi, killing one in the process. Then he was shot by a Volturi. I relax at this last piece of information; at least it wasn't one of mine. It was a Volturi.
I can tell that Alice is leaving something out. I press her for more information.
"Alice, what aren't you telling me about Masen? Did he hurt Jasper? Why did he turn on the Volturi?"
Alice avoids my gaze, "Jasper and Masen… They…"
"What happened, Alice?"
"They're… involved." Of all the possible scenarios running through my mind, that was not even considered.
"You're saying that Masen has… seduced Jasper? How did this happen, when? Is this why Jasper helped him to escape?" I feel betrayal and anger welling up inside me. I never expected something like this from Jasper.
"Esme, they're extremely close, I don't think either could have foreseen or avoided the connection they obviously have, it reminds me of you and Carlisle." I glare at her.
"Carlisle isn't a murderer, and I would never be with him if he were. Jasper knows who the Volturi are, how could he be so…"
"Human?" Alice suggests softly, "Esme, Masen claims he is not a killer, we're trying to get verification, but Jasper trusts him. I'm not sure how much they've talked about, but I get the feeling Masen is on the level. Jasper isn't being taken in by a ruse, Masen is a good man."
"No one with the last name Masen could possibly be termed good, Alice. You of all people know that."
"Edward isn't technically a Masen, Esme." Her voice is flat and serious. I look up at her, surprised.
"What are you talking about?"
"You need to know, Edward took a bullet protecting Jasper, he's the only reason we knew how to assault the Volturi base. He gave us financials on all their Seattle ops for the past 2 years. He's on our side, Esme." Alice is no fool. I think for a moment, considering my options.
"If he isn't a Masen, then what is he, Alice?" She must have a reason for that comment, I want to believe she has not been fooled by one of Victoria's spawn, and perhaps there is a chance that Masen...
"It's not my place, Esme; you need to meet him for yourself."
Carlisle pov
"Tell her I'll meet them there." Carlisle spoke into the radio, breaking into a shambling trot while he weaved through the corridor. His white coat fluttered in the draft he created as he moved steadily toward Medical.
Rosalie was back, and needed him urgently. That couldn't be good. Where was Jasper? Why had they returned without him?
Over the past week, Carlisle had been trying to keep peace. Tempers were fraying all over base as people edged toward manic in their desire to confront the Volturi guarding each point of egress. Esme had maintained the cold front in response to his deception concerning Masen and Jasper. Carlisle was sad, but did not regret his actions, as they had undoubtedly saved at least one life.
He considered the different situations that could lead to both Rosalie's return, and an urgent need of his skills as a physician. He was at a loss to come up with anything rational that didn't trace back to Masen overpowering Jasper. He quickened his pace.
If anything happened to Jasper, he would never forgive himself. It was an act of desperation to send the young man out into the field with a possibly homicidal Volturi, but Carlisle thought the precautions taken would be sufficient.
Carlisle remembered the first time he'd met Jasper.
3 years 9 months ago
"Jasper, this is my husband, Carlisle Cullen. He has been holding down the fort in our Medical Bay since we lost our doctor several months ago." Carlisle looked up from his workstation in the lab and saw a young man, no more than twenty, standing with Esme. The man had a quiet calm about him that drew Carlisle in.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," Jasper's voice held a strong thread of southern accent. He held out a hand to Carlisle and the older man felt calluses on Jasper's palms, evidently from hard labor throughout his life. Carlisle grasped the hand in both of his, spreading the long thin fingers and examining the strength and dexterity of the younger man's hand.
"You have good hands; I trust you have some experience with medicine? Taking my wife's description of me as a cue, I would guess you are a new recruit interested in helping out with our medical needs?" Jasper nodded, Carlisle smiled broadly, "I'd be happy of the help, I'm rather overwhelmed, what with my other duties here on base. It will be nice to be able to foist off all the heavy lifting onto your young shoulders." He inflected his voice to tease the younger man and Jasper grinned in response.
"I don't know about that, Mr. Cullen, I think I'm goin' ta have to observe your technique fo' a few months before I attempt anythin' complex like medicine," his accent was suddenly much thicker and he spoke slowly, as if encumbered by a preponderance of thought. Carlisle laughed delightedly at the rebuttal.
"Call me Carlisle, son, I think we're going to get along just fine."
Present day
Carlisle halted before Medical, noting that he had arrived before Rose and her mysterious patient. Carlisle prayed that it wouldn't be Jasper. He didn't know if he could be impartial where the young doctor was concerned. Jasper was closer to a son to him than anyone he had ever worked with. In many ways it was because of how similar the two were. Jasper had Carlisle's insatiable curiosity, his compassion, and his abhorrence of violence. Jasper was also strong, his introverted youth had built a thick emotional shell that Carlisle had yet to see anyone make a real attempt to breach, not that there hadn't been interest, but it just seemed to come from all the wrong people. Carlisle remembered Jasper's first impressions upon learning that he was attracted to other boys, and his heart ached. It was Carlisle who had convinced Jasper to visit his mother, open up to her.
Hearing a noise from the hall, Carlisle turned to the door pensively. He saw Rose first, forehead smeared with blood, hair matted with sweat. She was far from the most put together Carlisle had seen her, and her face was grim. He saw Jasper following after, pushing the other end of the stretcher. Carlisle couldn't tell who was on the stretcher, but when he saw Jasper upright, he was immediately relieved.
Carlisle examined Jasper through the glass and his relief drained away as he took in the full appearance of the younger man. Jasper was in black, but the entire right side of his arm and chest were a shade darker, as if wet with something. Both Jasper's hands and face were smeared with copious amounts of blood, but what concerned Carlisle the most was the vacant expression on Jasper's face. He looked like a corpse that just hadn't lain down yet.
"Rosalie, what's happened to Jasper?" Carlisle demanded as soon as the two entered the room with the gurney. Rose glanced at Jasper for a moment.
"He isn't the problem right now, Carlisle, Masen might be dying. He's been shot in the neck, and I'm not sure how serious the blood loss is, but his carotid was punctured, and he wasn't stitched for at least a minute or two." Carlisle looked down at the face of the man on the table for a moment, his neck was bandaged, and the bleeding seemed to be stopped, judging by the cleanness of the linen. Carlisle snapped into action.
"Blood type?" he queried, Rose shook her head.
"We don't know, you have to run it."
Carlisle cursed and pulled out a typing kit, every moment lost was a problem.
"Hang a unit of O negative, when we get his full type, we can switch it out, but he's probably lost a full liter, he needs fluids as well, a banana bag, and a unit of plasma." Carlisle flipped the small case open and then looked up at Rosalie, "all the blood is Masen's?" he asked, she nodded confirmation, attaching IVs and running her hands along the tubes, making sure there were no bubbles or kinks before she inserted the needles into Masen's arms.
Carlisle swiftly dabbed small amounts of blood into each depression. Then he set aside the tray and returned to the patient. He gingerly removed the bandage from Masen's neck and hissed when he saw the angry burn surrounding the torn flesh. He felt along the wound experimentally, eyebrows shooting up when he encountered the tiny perfect stitches, "You sutured the wound, Rose? This is excellent work." Rosalie shook her head and gestured to Jasper.
"He did it… by touch, and he's been in this state since before we started treating Ed-Masen." Carlisle studied Rosalie's face when he heard her slip and almost call this man by his first name. Much had transpired over the last 6 days, of that Carlisle was certain. He was completely floored by the fact that Jasper could accomplish something in his current vacant state.
"Why would Jasper work by touch, what happened to him?"
"We were in complete darkness, Jasper was desperate, I think."
"Who shot him, not Jasper… was it Alice? Emmett? You?" Rosalie shook her head again.
"It was a Volturi agent, it happened during our takedown of Volturi HQ."
If Carlisle hadn't had so much on his mind, he might have had to sit down. As it was, he was almost inclined to think that Rosalie was joking. Her face was completely serious, so he didn't question her further.
Turning his attention from the wound on Masen's neck, he started to work over the rest of the body, checking swiftly for other obvious wounds. Then he checked Masen's vitals. He opened Masen's eye to check pupil reactivity, and suddenly he felt as if someone were walking on his grave.
"Alastair," he whispered. The man on the table was the spitting image of Carlisle's brother. The unruly hair (though the wrong color), the same cheekbones, lips, nose, his eyes looked like Esme's, and he was in his early twenties. A thought buzzed around Carlisle's mind, solidifying into one of the bleakest notions he'd ever had, "It's not possible." He whispered quietly as the pen light fell from his bloodless fingers, "He was stillborn, Masen…" Carlisle sat heavily in the chair behind him. Rosalie walked around the table to stand by Carlisle.
"Alice told us, I should have warned you, but I didn't know what to say. He and Jasper are together. I think he took the bullet to protect Jasper." Carlisle was faced with too much information, he needed space… he needed Esme.
Alice pov
I watched Esme absorb all the information I was willing to give her. Just as I sensed she was about to unleash another barrage of questions, her radio crackled and I heard Carlisle's voice, urgent and stricken, he needed Esme in the Medical Bay immediately.
Well, I'm glad I don't have to tell her.
I was morbidly curious to know what everyone was thinking, I'd always had a weakness for secrets, their turnings and unfoldings, but this one had the potential to destroy Esme. I didn't relish the telling of it and gladly avoided saying anything, but I couldn't stand by and simply watch, I had to be there for her.
She threw an overly suspicious look in my direction. I wasn't surprised. Esme knows me better than anyone. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I know myself. She knew I was holding back, and I sensed that she suspected I was involved in Carlisle's urgent summons. She was right, of course, but now was not the time to reveal what she would learn all-to-soon regardless.
I had just revealed to her that we had virtually crippled Volturi activities. Emmett was rolling up the details that had us trapped in our own home. We had lists of Volturi operations that could be acted on. All in all, it should have been a good day, but then there was Edward… and his Jasper.
I felt a craving to see Garrett and hold him, just to reassure myself that he was well. I couldn't bear the thought of what would happen to Jasper if Edward were to die. I couldn't even begin to imagine what might happen if the Volturi took Garrett from me. I knew Jasper was in a dark place, and I was accompanying Esme partly to see him. Perhaps if Edward's prognosis had been established, I could get him to snap out of the eerie trance he seemed to be in.
I wasn't completely blind either. I knew it wasn't all about Edward, but that was the most important part. Jasper would deal with the metaphorical blood on his hands in time, but the literal blood was the first problem we would have to help him through.
Suddenly, and all too soon, we were at the Medical Bay. I followed Esme into the clean room, ready to catch her if and when the shock overtook her.
I was extremely grateful that Rosalie was sponging away the last of the blood. Edward had been cut out of his combat dress and garbed in clean scrubs. His face was pristine and looked more innocent in the bright light of the Medical Bay.
The only sign that he was close to death was his unhealthy pallor and the bandage on his neck. His bronze hair was in its perpetual state of disarray, but as Carlisle's hands gently carded the locks, the unruly mop made him look like a small child. Carlisle looked up at Esme with shining eyes.
I felt the tension in the room as Esme took in the scene. She stiffened when she saw Carlisle's proximity to Masen. I also felt the almost imperceptible shift, the hushed intake of breath as a mother recognized her son.
I admit, I expected her to faint. There I was with arms waiting to gather up her dead weight. I was even a little disappointed when the dramatic scene I'd played through in my mind didn't happen (though I was happy Esme seemed to be taking it so well.) Jasper sat to the side, silent and vacant as when I'd last seen him. Rose stepped back from the bed.
I heard a small strangled cry as Esme dove for the prone form and gathered Edward's limp body in an embrace, sobbing brokenly. Carlisle reached out to her, silent and comforting. His touch soothed her as he stroked her graying auburn hair gently. I paused, not wanting to intrude. Rose came to me and we left the room together.
I knew soon, Esme would want a full account. I hoped that by that time we could get the rest of the team sorted. Just then, I heard the familiar ring of Rosalie's phone, it was playing Sexy Thing. Emmett was calling. She retreated to a corner for a moment; I heard her murmur into the phone, no doubt confirming that Emmett was unhurt. I waited patiently, debating whether to call Garrett or find him in person when I had finished dealing with the aftermath of all this excitement. I decided I wanted to see him in person after going so long without his lovin'.
Rose came back to me as she hung up the phone. I cocked an eyebrow and she gave me the thumbs up. Emmett had obviously taken care of the jammers, as well as all three teams, "Seth is coming back to us, he was in one of the teams. Em figured it would be alright, seeing as we just started the wrap up."
I nodded absently, "Edward?" I questioned, "is he…"
"He'll recover," Rose said happily, "Carlisle said he might take a few hours to wake up, but he'll be back on his feet after a few days." I was relieved to hear it; maybe Jasper would be responsive now. I chomped at the bit, wanting to return to Jasper and relay the hopeful news. I waited instead; I wouldn't intrude on Carlisle and Esme's reunion with their son. This was without a doubt the greatest thing that could have happened to Esme. Without any useful stress to keep me filled with adrenaline (since I couldn't help Jasper until I could get to him, stressing about that was pointless), I quickly crashed. Waiting for the family moment to end was actually kind of boring.
It took almost an hour for Esme and Carlisle to finish their soft discussion. In the meantime, Emmett called again to reassure Rose that he was back on base, and she left to reunite with him. When Esme came out of the Medical Bay she hugged me, silently forgiving me for keeping this from her. Then she asked me to help Carlisle see to Jasper and I sprang from my chair, intent on trying to bring around the traumatized man.
We tried to talk Jasper out of his daze, but to no avail. He simply sat, staring at Edward, completely unresponsive to our attempts to get through to him. Carlisle was at a loss to explain what was wrong, and I had no brilliant ideas (well... none that applied to this particular situation). After about twenty minutes of attempting to rouse Jasper, we gave up. He allowed us to strip him out of his vest and replace his cargo pants with cotton sleep pants. Carlisle said it might be best if Jasper rested, but he would not let us push him back on the bed. Carlisle suggested that we might have better luck if Jasper could see Edward while he lay down. We moved the bed up beside Edward's and Jasper calmed down, allowing us to position him on his side.
As Carlisle drew the sheet up around Jasper's arms, I saw the blond reach out and grasp one of Edward's hands, squeezing gently. A tear slid down his cheek and I looked away. I felt like I had interrupted a private moment. Carlisle cleared his throat.
"I'll call you if there's any change, Alice, I know you want to see Garrett." My throat constricted slightly as I nodded.
"Thanks Carlisle." I walked swiftly out of the Medical Bay toward my quarters.
Jasper pov
This couldn't be happening again. Everything I touch withers and dies. First Charlie and now Edward. Why didn't I give Edward the rifle? Why didn't he call out to me?
The scene flashes before my eyes every few seconds. Each time I see it, I try vainly to save Edward, but nothing ever works. I'm stuck in the same pattern of failure. The blood. It was everywhere, and each time I relive the moment, I see the dark liquid, spreading out under Edward. I feel it on my hands as I try to save him, but it's no use. Each time the result is the same. He doesn't move.
I was vaguely aware of motion. I walked toward an unknown destination, not even sure who was guiding me. Was I dead as well? The sudden brightness seared through my head, but the pain was nothing compared to the guilt and horror I felt about Edward. I reveled in the torture, penance for my mistakes. A small hand (a child?) held my own. I saw Edward slump to the ground once more, felt his blood on my hands.
We drove, the familiar sounds of the van muted under the heavy veil of my memories. Would anyone else have been able to save Edward? Would anyone else have tried? I realize with a sick irony that I understand Esme now. The Volturi must pay.
We came to a stop and once again I was herded along. A voice penetrated my stupor, promising Edward had a chance if I assisted. I pushed numbly, if there was a chance… I felt the tension of the trigger, the splinters of wood pelting my face. I saw the look of surprise on her face, the face of Edward's killer.
A door whooshed open, and I recognized the sound, this was my home. I saw familiar hands on Edward's neck, Carlisle would save him. I heard a gibberish of exchanged conversation as the hands retreated for a moment, then returned to gather blood. I realized they didn't know his type. I knew his type; it would be B negative, just like Carlisle and Esme. I opened my mouth and tried to speak, but no sound came out. I felt the tears trace their tracks down the bridge of my nose; saw them splash on the green lenses, blurring my vision further.
They were cleaning off his face. They removed the vestiges of blood and cut his clothes away. They clad his unmoving body in scrubs, as if the clothes alone would save him. I wanted to turn away, but I couldn't, perhaps his eyes would open if I just held on long enough. Could you save a life through willpower? I smelled the blood as I lay beside Edward, pleading silently for anyone to save him. My side was drenched in his blood, but it didn't matter, nothing but him mattered. I loved him.
I realized the depth of my emotion, and suddenly everything snapped into place. Edward was the one person I'd ever connected with so fully. I loved him more than my own life. I would give up anything to save him. He'd been killed by my love. Just like Charlie.
4 years ago
Charlie sat across from me, considering his next move. It wasn't the game I enjoyed so much as Charlie's company. Checkers was never really my thing.
"So, Jasper, have you given any more thought to my offer?" he asked, shrewd eyes watching me as I squirmed. Over the last few weeks, Charlie had been pushing me to date Bella. I wasn't sure why it mattered so much after 2 years, but I sensed he was trying to force some sort of clear answer from me. I wanted to tell him the truth, the real reason why I hadn't been dating anyone. He made his move, taking two of my pieces. I sighed as I kinged yet another of his chips.
"I don't have time for a—"
"Jasper, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I think we both know that's a load. Your supervisors tell me that the only way you could be advancing so quickly is if you were working yourself half to death at home, reading medical texts and such." I held his gaze and nodded.
"Like I said, no time."
Charlie sighed, "Life isn't all about work, Jasper. I keep hoping you'll find someone that shows you how completely meaningless work truly is in the grand scheme. Have you even thought about trying to find that person?" His look was still probing. I was tempted to simply tell him the truth. He obviously wouldn't have a problem. Everyone in the office knew that Riley and Ben were together, and nobody batted an eye. Maybe I was just freaked because I was young. I knew I'd never have money for college, so I was focusing on my career. A relationship would only distract me. I was a coward.
Mike came over to Charlie's desk and leaned against it. He was so close to me that I could feel the heat of his body. He smiled, "Hey, Jasper," he said cheerfully, "A couple of us are going out to get drinks tonight, do you want to tag along?"
I chuckled weakly, "Underage," I said, pointing to myself, he grinned.
"Club soda," he retorted. I faked retching and Charlie laughed out loud. I'm sure both of them knew that I had a fake ID, they were detectives, after all. Mike grinned good-naturedly.
"Just… remember, the offer is always good." He rested a hand on my shoulder for a moment longer than was technically appropriate, then stood and walked away, ears tinged with pink. Charlie quirked an eyebrow at me and I muttered something about work, blushing a bit as I stood. I wasn't sure if Mike was coming on to me, or if Charlie was trying to get me to confess, but suddenly he seemed to know way too much. I wasn't ready, I loved him like a father, but I couldn't tell him. What if I was wrong? What if he hated me? What if he thought I was leading Bella on?
He grabbed my hand as I turned to leave, "Jasper… think about what I said," he said gently, "I don't care if Bella isn't the one for you, but… look for that person. Work might be satisfying, but love is nourishing. I wouldn't give my time with Renee for anything in the world," He glanced at the picture of his wife. I knew she had passed away ten years prior, but he never spoke of her with bitterness, "Love gave me Bella, and the thought of being reunited with Renee someday keeps me going when I'm sure I can't carry on." He squeezed my hand, then rose and pulled me into an embrace.
"Don't deny any part of you, son. You need to put yourself out there, live life to the fullest."
My mouth went dry and my eyes prickled as I wrapped my arms around the man and hugged him tightly, "Thanks Charlie, I…" I couldn't tell him here, "Could we get dinner sometime, maybe tomorrow? I want to talk with you… outside of work." Charlie nodded, smiling as he released me.
"Of course, Jasper anytime is fine." He stepped back and cleared his throat, "Now, I have a takedown to prepare for, and I'm sure you have some work waiting for you, so I'll let you get back to it. We'll talk soon."
I nodded and turned to leave, and then I paused and turned back, "Could you tell Mike I'll meet him and the boys up here when you guys knock off for the day?" Charlie nodded his assent.
Present day
Had I retained the ability to make any noise, I'm sure I would have screamed at the similarities between the two days. The last conversation with Charlie had been so full of hope. I had been so close to telling him what he meant to me, and as a result, he'd died. I watched in silence, tears slipping down my cheeks as I watched Edward's body for any sign of movement. I couldn't tell if his chest was rising with breath, as far away as I was. I couldn't bear to watch him any longer. I closed my eyes and remembered happier things, the way he felt in my arms when we'd slept side by side, the comfort of waking up with him in the morning, seeing his face, his eyes glowing as we shared an intimate glance.
I felt my breath catch once more when I remembered our first kiss, the fire that consumed my fear, replacing it with shimmering rapture. I remembered the feel of his skin, the taste. I remembered the sounds he made under my touch. I remembered, and for a moment, the pain was bearable. I would keep him alive, I had been part of him, and he would ever be part of me.
I don't know how long I thought of him, but when I came to, it was Alice's face in front of me. She looked worried. I couldn't focus on her long enough to grasp what she was saying, I had to see Edward. My gaze locked onto him, and I just stared, willing him to move, open his eyes, smile.
I let Alice and Carlisle strip me down to my t-shirt and boxer-briefs. I remembered Edward bringing back underwear, unsure what I would wear. I knew he would be wearing a pair of the briefs he had bought. The thought was painful, so I ignored it. Carlisle pulled a pair of pants up my legs and tied them around my waist. I sat back down on the bed, eyes not leaving Edward.
Alice tried to push me back and I struggled, I could not let Edward go without absorbing every moment I could of his perfect face, peaceful in silence. They moved me to the bed next to Edward, and I let them push me down onto the bed, facing the beautiful man I loved. One of his hands was in reach, and I grabbed it.
I couldn't tell if I was hallucinating, remembering, or if his hand truly was warm in mine, but I held on to the tenuous connection. I succumbed to the stress and fear of the day and slipped into sleep, dreams filled with Edward filled my slumber, and for a moment, he was with me again.
6 hours later
An urgent hand on my shoulder pulled me into wakefulness, separating me from Edward in the process. I saw Carlisle's face in front of mine.
"Esme is on her way, but I wanted to give you two a moment first." Why would I need a moment with Esme? I wondered silently, and then I felt a hand squeeze mine and Carlisle moved out of my line of sight.
I saw the most beautiful thing I could have imagined; Edward was watching me with concern in his emerald eyes. He squeezed my hand again.
"Good morning, sunshine," he rasped gently. I uttered my first sound since I'd seen him on the ground, it was somewhere between a sob and a laugh. Relief flooded me, and I moved of my own volition, pushing away from my bed to get closer to my love. Edward saw what I was aiming for and wiggled faintly, trying to move himself to the side of the bed.
"Sorry, love, you'll have to help me, Carlisle says I'll be weak for awhile." I would do anything. I slipped my hands gently under his form, relishing the closeness, and moved him over several inches. I set him down and he wrapped his free arm around me as I hopped up onto the bed. He pulled me close and I buried my face into his shoulder, inhaling deeply.
"I th-thought you were d-dead," I quaked with emotion, wrapping my arms around him and holding him tightly. I felt his lips curve into a smile against the top of my head.
"Apparently someone performed surgery on me and saved my life," he said quietly. He continued to hold me close while I nestled into his side. I was mindful of the IVs and the bandage on his neck, but he seemed to be fine otherwise. Everything else was forgotten as I held him in my arms, hoping against hope that I wouldn't wake up to find it a dream.
"Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"I…" I swallowed hard from nerves. I tilted my head up so I could see his face. I needed to see his reaction, "I love you."
A/N: This chapter is short for pacing. I wanted to end it on a hopeful note, and if it went much further, they would have to deal with Esme's post-euphoric ire and some traumatic repercussions from the fact that they both killed people. I also wanted to keep their interactions pure, and they'll be naughty next chapter, so… :D
Leave a review and let me know what you think, hearing back from you is my greatest inspiration.
