Disclaimer: Consult previous chapter.

Timeline Reminder: The "Enlightenment" chapters take place approximately a year after Ozai's death.

Special thanks to my previous beta Lavanya Six, and my current betas Devon and Aurelia Le!


The Right to Rule

An Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfic


Chapter 6

Enlightenment I


Azula's adventure with Pathik began inside a cave.

"You have seven chakras in your body, Avatar. Each has a purpose, and each is blocked by a specific emotion. However, I must warn you: Once you begin opening your chakras, you cannot stop until all seven are cleansed."

Azula had been trying to think of nothing for the past while to avoid Pathik's mind-reading, but it didn't work. She then decided that she had no choice but to ignore the fact that her mind was totally transparent to him...which also didn't work. Maybe talking will help. "What happens if I stop?"

"You will become unable to enter the Avatar State again."

"…I see." Well, that's convenient.

"Indeed. Are you ready?"

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."

"Very well. The first chakra is the Earth Chakra, located at the base of the spine."

"Wait, these chakras have specific locations?"

"Why wouldn't they?" Pathik seemed genuinely confused.

"Well, I mean...they're spiritual, right?"

"Not precisely. The chakras channel spiritual energy, true, but they are themselves very much physical phenomena."

Azula opened her mouth, but no words came out.

"Any other questions?" He sounded almost smug.

"No, sorry, go ahead."

"As I was saying. The Earth Chakra deals with survival, and is blocked by fear."

"Hold on, sorry, I have another question."

"What is it?"

"What exactly does that mean?"

"I'm not sure I understand. Which part confuses you?"

He's toying with me, isn't he? The most frustrating part was, he was succeeding. "Well. First of all, 'deals with' is really vague."

"Unfortunately, human language often lacks the capacity to talk accurately about important yet esoteric subjects."

Oh, come on. "That's true, but—"

"How about this. The purpose of the Earth Chakra is survival."

"Okay, but if that's the case, shouldn't fear be integral to it? Isn't the entire point of fear to help us survive?"

Pathik sighed. "I can see this is going to take a long time. Why don't we start by discussing what it is that you fear?"

"But—"

"Do as I say, Avatar." For the first time, real steel entered Pathik's voice.

"…Fine." Azula breathed in, breathed out, and tried to think of what her fears were.

"Apologies, Avatar, but abstract concerns about politics don't count," Pathik said in a lecturing tone.

"Gah! I had almost forgotten you could read my mind!"

"Hmm. I'm not sure how that's relevant."

Azula cursed under her breath. "Look, Guru, I'm not actually scared of that much. I'm—"

"Intelligent, strong, and powerful?"

"...If you already know my answer, why bother asking?"

"If I'm not mistaken, you seem to be afraid of me, at least."

He's enjoying this, isn't he? "If you insist on reading my mind, could you at least tell me what it is I'm afraid of?"

"Hmm. Not a bad idea." Pathik actually sounded serious. "Though on second thought, I have a better idea. Sit still for a second."

Azula sensed Pathik standing up and gulped inadvertently. It hadn't been obvious before because of how ridiculous he acted, but come to think of it, she was basically putting herself at the mercy of a madman.

No, that's an exaggeration, she objected to herself. Even if he can read my mind, I should be able to beat him up if necessary. He doesn't even seem to be a bender. Still though, as Pathik approached her, she had to force herself to breathe slowly and was fighting off an impending sense of dread as he touched her forehead with his finger.


Azula groaned as she slowly opened her eyes, feeling really weird. She was having trouble thinking, and the past few days felt like a blur.

"Wakey wakey, Princess," a voice she hadn't heard before said.

"Huh?" The world was slowly coming into focus, but she wasn't able to piece together the sensations. Dark walls, torches, vague shapes, coldness at her back, some sort of dull ache...

"Although I suppose you're not really a princess anymore," the same voice said.

Something inside Azula snapped into place. She recognized where she was: the bunker underneath the Palace. And over there, those were prison cell bars.

She began to stand up. "Just what is—"

She couldn't stand up. Confused, she looked down.

At first, she didn't understand it. A second later she did, and the dull ache suddenly flipped into an intense, screeching pain.

Azula screamed. She couldn't move her arms or legs; they were broken and tied to a chair. All she could do was thrash her torso around.

The man she hadn't seen before just laughed.

She tired out soon, but when she stopped thrashing the pain got worse. Locking her eyes onto the man in front of her, she decided to drown out her pain with searing fury directed at her captor. "I don't know who you are, and I don't care. As soon as my father hears about this—"

"It seems you still don't understand your position, former princess." The man walked toward her slowly, and leaned down when he got close. "My name is Haka, the warden of the Dragon's Pit. I have been ordered to keep you locked up here for the rest of your life." He grinned from ear to ear. "By your father."

Azula laughed. "Nice try. Why would Father—"

For some reason, Azula's mind tripped before she completed her sentence. Haka said, "What, you don't remember?" He laughed long and deep, then stopped suddenly. "You're the Avatar, girl. That's why."

Azula snorted. "Ridic—"

Then she remembered.

She was too tired to scream again. So her body just went limp as her mind fell apart.

Haka shrugged. "I guess you remember now. There you have it."

"I...what should I..."

Haka smiled again. It wasn't an amused smile like last time. It was a smile worn by those who enjoy nothing more than causing pain. "So here's the thing, Avatar. The Firelord wants to keep you alive, but he said I could have a souvenir."

Azula's entire world had collapsed. The pain dove into the void that used to be her mind, harsher and more unremitting than ever. She looked blankly at Haka—

And discovered a third way to block out pain.

Fear.

He reached his fire-cloaked hand toward her face and


Azula screamed.

"Avatar!" Pathik yelled. "Avatar, calm down! That's only a vision! It isn't real!"

"Like hell!" Azula stood up, rage consuming her. "That was no vision; I just relived the most painful moment of my life!" Stalking toward him, she grabbed the front of his shirt and yelled, "Just what are you trying to pull here, Pathik!?"

"These visions are a very important part of the chakra cleansing process. Unless you face your fears—"

"You made me relive the moment my eyes got torn out! What is wrong with you!?" Azula punched him in the face—or tried to. When she expected to feel flesh, her fist met nothing but air. The cloth she was grabbing disappeared as well.

"I didn't know your vision would lead to such a deep pain," Pathik said from behind her. "But if one of your greatest fears is linked to that pain, it was unavoidable."

Azula had barely listened. "What...What are you?"

"I temporarily dulled your senses to allow myself to escape. I apologize."

Maybe it was an after-effect of the...vision...but Azula wasn't able to hold onto her anger for long. It ebbed away quickly, leaving her alone with the pain and fear. "So you can just mess with my mind however you want, then?"

"No. I can see your spirit, not read your mind; my abilities are limited. I am able to control your senses to a certain extent. I can even make you see things, to a limited extent. But I cannot modify your thoughts or your feelings."

Images from the memory flashed across her mind. Azula chuckled bitterly. "Not much of a difference there."

"Avatar." If Pathik's voice was apologetic before, it wasn't now. "I do sympathize. But remember: What you are attempting to gain is the infinite power of the cosmos itself. That power is not something easily granted, nor can it be attained without great pain and sacrifice. I can guide you on this journey, but that is all. I cannot truly help you. The only one who can realize the power that lies within you is yourself."

Azula didn't speak for a long time. When she finally did, she felt pretty much resigned. "Okay. Fine. So I've relived my fear. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Tell me something, Avatar. What do you think 'fear' is?"

"Well..." Azula shrugged. "Something's about to hurt you, so you're afraid of it."

"Are you only afraid of immediate pain?"

"...No..."

"Are you only afraid of things that hurt you?"

Her resignation was getting pierced by flecks of annoyance, which was infinitely better. "Maybe not. Why does it matter?"

Pathik let out a long breath. "It seems we need another example to work with."

"I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means."

"I am sorry, Avatar."

"Save your apologies, Guru. As you said, they don't help." Azula grit her teeth. "I guess we might as well get on with it."


The gong sounded, signaling the start of the Agni Kai.

Immediately Azula felt a wave of fire screaming at her. She breathed in, breathed out, and parted it easily, gathered up the remains with both hands, broke it apart, and sent at least twenty fireballs right back at him. Tremors in the ground told her that he dodged to the right, which Azula matched, avoiding his counterattack. To stop him from gaining momentum she launched her own barrage of flames, then ran away, anticipating Ozai's advance.

For her plan to—

Her foot hit a small rock and twisted.

She had known this plan was very risky. Running backwards, deflecting the attacks of the world's most powerful firebender, and plotting out contingencies left too little room for error. One small mistake, one misplaced foot, would spell her doom.

Ozai's foot smashed into her face and drove spikes of flame into her brain. In her last moment, Azula wondered if maybe this was what she wanted all along.

The gong sounded, signaling the start of the Agni Kai.

Little by little, Azula could feel the pace slipping away from her, could sense her assaults turning into reactions and then into desperate countermeasures. Little by little fear started to leak out of her heart, and it threatened to overwhelm her.

Suddenly she stopped seeing Ozai through the ground, and the air currents said he was flying toward her. Her only option was to launch herself into the air as well—but she was a fraction of a second too slow. Before she got away Ozai sent a huge wave of fire at her, and her hands were too busy bending rockets of flame to block it.

At least the pain didn't last long, as Ozai next sent a lightning bolt straight into her heart.

The gong sounded, signaling the start of the Agni Kai.

And caught the lightning with her hand.

The pure, unbridled chi energy of the lightning was like lava. With time as slow as it was, she could feel each impact as the lightning barreled its way through her arm, crashing against and destroying all in its way as it broke into her shoulder.

Then, just as Iroh had taught her, she bent it, sending the searing chi down into her—

Time managed to get even slower as the lightning entered her heart. She shouldn't be surprised; she had never actually tried to redirect lightning before, after all. Prodigy or not, why was she so sure she could succeed at this the very first time?

At least time did her the favor of speeding up when the actual pain began. That way, it lasted less than a second.

The gong sounded, signaling the start of the Agni Kai.

Ozai moved left. Azula had guessed he would move right. Her defenses were a tiny bit slow, which was enough to let Ozai burn her entire right side, which gave him the opportunity to send a bolt right into her head.

The gong sounded, signaling the start of the Agni Kai.

Azula rocketed away. The wind currents told her that an attack was coming. She dodged, but then a fireball she had missed collided into her, knocking her out and ensuring her death.

The gong sounded, signaling the start of the Agni Kai.

The lightning traveled faster than she had expected and sent her smoking to the ground.

The gong sounded, signaling the start of


This time, it wasn't really a scream, more a very long, drawn-out groan.

"How are you, Avatar?" Pathik asked gently.

"What's with these visions?" Azula grumbled. "This time, I saw things that never even happened."

"Of course. As you yourself said, we fear what is about to occur, not what has occurred."

"I think you owe me an answer now, Guru. Exactly how does fear block survival?"

Their cave was inside the largest and most central of the Eastern Air Temple mountains. A large rock split off from the mountain, and Azula could feel every single vibration perfectly as it tumbled down the slope and crashed into the ground below.

"Tell me, Avatar. What did you see in your most recent vision?"

Azula's hand rose to pick at her eye sockets, but before it could get that far she grabbed it with her other hand and shoved it to the ground.

"I had a plan to kill Ozai. I saw ways it could've failed."

"And if you had given into your fear of failure?"

"He'd probably still be alive. So what? This chakra is about survival, right? I would've survived too."

"And whatever makes you think, Avatar, that I was talking about life when I said 'survival'?"

"…What?"

"We all have a very limited opportunity to exist on this planet. To the spirits, time is an illusion—it does not matter to them whether we live for one second or one hundred years. The chakras channel spiritual energy. So what makes you think the Earth Chakra would be concerned about your life?"

"What else could 'survival' mean?"

"Tell me this. If you were to always refrain from doing what you're afraid of, what kind of life would you live?"

"That's...like I said, I'm not really afraid of that much."

"Even an extraordinarily slight fear is fine."

"Well..."


The anti-colonial terrorists didn't even have benders, so Azula wasn't paying perfect attention. She paid for her laziness with an arrow through her lung.

As she talked with Long Feng, Azula could tell he was displeased with her attempts to manipulate him. What she couldn't tell, until it was too late, was that he was so displeased that he had put poison in her drink.

She knew Mai didn't like her or her policies. She didn't know Mai felt strongly enough to stick a knife into her throat.

You never knew what diseases you might catch wandering around the Earth Kingdom wilds. This one just happened to be deadly.

Without any earth around, Azula had to depend on air currents in the South Pole. So she couldn't tell that she was about to step on thin ice, nor that the water beneath it was cold enough that she wouldn't be able to pull herself out in time.

Maybe it was inevitable. Maybe she had screwed up. Whatever the case, the colonial issue had finally blown up and the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation were again at war. And Azula couldn't help but think of it as her failure.

Iroh died peacefully in his sleep, but his death sent Azula into a depression that lasted almost a week.

She had thought, in Toph, she finally found someone resembling a true friend. But one morning, Azula awoke to find that Toph had just up and left without explanation. Maybe Azula just wasn't cut out for friends.


"Avatar?"

"...I fear pain and death. But if I were to avoid everything with any risk of those..."

"Then?"

"I guess I'd just live by myself and grow rice all day."

"And that would go far to ensure the survival of your life. But it would cost the survival of something else, wouldn't it? It would kill something else of yours, something far more important."

"..."

"It's not enough to control your fear, Avatar. That fear will still haunt you, still make you focus too much on your bodily survival. That might be good enough for a human, but it is not sufficient for the Avatar. You must eliminate your fear."

"I'm not human, then."

"You are both human and far more than human, Avatar, as are we all. Tell me. You said that you fear pain and death."

"Yes."

"But what causes humans the most pain? What brings us our most acute suffering?"

"How am I supposed to know that?"

"It's alright if you don't. I believe you still have one more vision to experience anyway."

"What might that be?"

"Your biggest fear."

"...I should've guessed."

"Perhaps."


Azula gulped. Breathed in, breathed out. Shuffled her feet. Then cursed herself for being such a coward and slammed the door open.

Seconds passed in silence.

"Come on in," said a voice Azula hadn't heard in over ten years.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Swallow.

Azula entered the small house.

It was weird. None of the things she could sense—body movements that displace air, footsteps that cause vibrations—were familiar. Only the voice conjured half-formed memories.

"You're right on time. I'm impressed."

Azula opened her mouth, but her voice caught in her throat.

"Go ahead, sit down. I'll make some tea."

Azula closed her mouth and nodded. She sat on the ground, and said nothing as she listened to her mother make tea. When she finished, she sat down opposite Azula, and the two of them drank from their respective cups.

Naturally, Mother was the one who broke the silence. "How is it?"

"It's good," Azula said weakly.

Minutes more passed in silence.

"So," Azula eventually stammered out, "how've you, um, been?"

"As you might expect," Mother said. There was no discernible tone in her voice.

Swallow. Breathe in. Breathe out.

"Um. How was your talk with Zuko?" Azula asked.

"I apologized to him. He apologized to me. We hugged each other and cried."

"Oh. That's good."

"Indeed. He offered to move me into the palace, but I refused. He'll visit once a month or so instead."

"Why'd you refuse?"

"I am the traitor who killed Firelord Azulon. It would cause him undue trouble if he pardoned my crime."

Azula internally smacked herself. "Of course. Sorry."

"That's alright. I've gotten used to my life here anyway."

"That's good."

"Under a certain point of view, I suppose."

Silence stretched on for more minutes. Azula's unusually parched throat made her finish her tea quickly, but she couldn't bring herself to ask for more. She just mindlessly rotated the empty cup.

"So," Azula eventually said, "some Earth Kingdom provinces are—"

"Why did you visit me?"

Azula's thoughts slammed to a halt. "Huh?"

"Why did you visit me?" Mother repeated. Her voice still lacked any discernible tone, but somehow, it still drove nails into Azula's head with each word. "Did you want praise? Forgiveness? Contrition? Did you want me to say 'You're doing a great job as Avatar, Azula'? 'I'm sorry I thought you were a monster, it turned out I was wrong'? Just how did you expect this conversation to go?"

Azula tried to swallow, but all the saliva in her mouth was dried up. She tried to breathe, but her throat was strangled by invisible chains. "I, I didn't…"

"Just what do you want me to say? Azula?"

Azula threw her teacup across the room. It shattered with a bang. "Yes!" she shouted. "Yes, I expected you to apologize to me, to forgive me! You thought I only cared about myself, but I ended the War and maintained the peace, so all those looks you gave me, everything you implied about me, what you wrote in your diary—"

"Are still true."

Azula's words stumbled over themselves. "Are—what? Huh?"

"You might have ended the War, Azula, but we both know that was irrelevant to you. You spent over two years of your life obsessed with killing Ozai. Your own father. Do you expect praise for patricide, Azula?"

"I, I mean.."

"And 'maintaining the peace,' you say? How many Fire Nation citizens did you have killed for happening not to agree with your or Zuko's policies? How many Earth Kingdom governors did you assassinate and replace with yes-men because they wanted to gain more independence from Ba Sing Se? Just how many Water Tribespeople are getting crushed between the gears of 'progress' in your efforts to modernize them?"

"Those are—"

"How many refugees have you told, sorry, you can't return to your ancestral homeland, I'm letting the Fire Nation keep the territory they stole in the War?"

"Those are all for the greater good!"

Silence for a second. Then, "Oh, I am proud of you, Azula. Only twenty-four years old, yet you already sound exactly like your father."

"I am not my father!"

But even as she said it, Azula could feel the world slipping, could feel her senses fading away, could feel herself floating in an endless sea of darkness.

"You may pretend to have reformed, Azula," Mother said, voice still lacking all tone. "You may tell yourself you've renounced your earlier worldview and become a good person. But we both know the truth. You were born a monster, Azula, and will remain one until the day you die. And I will never apologize for telling you that.

"Now get out of my house."


An interminable amount of time later, Azula regained her cognitive capacity.

"Have you recovered, Avatar?" Pathik asked. He sounded almost worried.

The cloth over Azula's eye sockets was damp with sweat by now, so she took it off, tossed it onto the floor, and burned it. She figured Pathik didn't care one way or the other. "In a manner of speaking," she said.

"I see."

"Now what? I've experienced my biggest fear, or had a vision of it, or whatever. I still don't feel like I'm any closer to eliminating my fear."

"Try this. Do you still remember how you felt at the end of that vision, when absolute, crushing terror gripped your heart and prevented you from thinking, feeling, or doing?"

Azula scratched her eye socket. "I can't imagine ever forgetting it."

"Then feel it again. But this time, focus on it. Let the feeling seep into your pores, let it flood your arms and legs and head until naught but the endless void is left."

"...And then?"

"Take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and allow it all to flow away."

"Will that really work?"

"You never know until you try."

Azula sighed. She was tired of arguing, tired of most everything at this point. "Alright. Whatever. Might as well."


When Azula woke up, it felt like cramps infected her entire being.

"Did you have a good nap, Avatar?"

"Very funny." Azula tried to stand up, but her legs collapsed under her. She cursed. It felt like she was back in the South Pole, right after Kalu had fixed her limbs the first time and she was learning how to walk again. "How long was I out for?"

"As I've already said, all lengths of time are equally instantaneous to the enlightened."

"Oh right. How could I forget?"

"But I must congratulate you, Avatar. You have opened the first chakra."

"Joy." Azula didn't feel any different. Well...maybe a little different...but it was only a vague sense of comfort, and she wasn't willing to credit Pathik for it. "Is opening the other chakras going to be like this?"

"You should be able to guess the answer to that question."

Azula sighed. "The others will be worse. Of course."

"I would offer you a chance to rest, but as I said, once you begin this process you must see it through to the end. Unless you cut yourself off from it completely, even sleep will not relax you."

She was certainly feeling the truth of that statement at the moment. "Fine. No time like the present, right?"

"Time is an illusion, Avatar."

"Sometimes, I really want to punch you. Right in the face."

Pathik laughed. "Faces are also illusions, Avatar."

"...I have no idea if you're being serious. That scares me."

"If so, we'll have to open your Earth Chakra again." He laughed again.

Azula slapped herself. Right in the face.


End of Chapter 6


Author's Notes: Honestly, the Enlightenment chapters are my favorite. I can do so many interesting things with them.

As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!