Young Warrior's Guide to the Galaxy

Written By: Rave Rose of Twilight

Warning: I don't own Naruto, Futurama, or Tripping the Rift. Seriously, look it up. I barely own my own house as it stands. LOL.

Author's Note: As of right now, this is not a harem story. The original pairing was and still is NarutoXSix. However, the reason so many women are interested in him is because I have received so many reviews asking if this was a harem story. As it stands, all of the girls interested in Naruto will be on Friends With Benefits status until I have decided whether or not to turn it into a harem. If you, my readers, don't want a harem, I will keep the pairing as it stands.

As far as the review about taking things from Mass Effect, I will state that as far as relations go, Thog will be the Wrex of the story, Alexis will be a more outgoing and seductive Tali, Six will be Miranda, Kif will be Joker, and Naruto will be Shepard. I do plan on having Garrus' position taken up by an Omicronian and maybe have some kind of robot in EDI's position. Make your votes count. I will be reading every review that comes by. I'm not a big fan of polls on the site so just review your thoughts and votes.

Chapter Seven: How to Deal With a the Flu in Space

"Audiolog update. It's been a month since Zapp Brannigan was stripped of his rank and reduced to being a civilian. After the trial, Leela called him to tell him about her most recent adventure. Zapp, for some God forsaken reason, had managed to join the Planet Express crew. Their delivery led them to Stumbos 4, the high gravity planet where you could and would be crushed by your own hair if you set foot on the planet without a portable gravity pump. After punishing Zapp, Bender, and Fry for breaking the Hover Dolly by loading it down with all 40 pillows instead of taking them one at a time like she instructed, Zapp lead Fry and Bender to mutany against Leela followed by locking her in the laundry room. This was followed by several unique explitives that would likely result in the destruction of this Audiolog should I even utter them."

"Regardless, Zapp lead Fry and Bender on a suicide bombing mission against the Neutral Planet, which failed after Fry and Bender took Leela back as Captain and mutanied against Zapp, who proceeded to flee the ship in the only space suit on board after locking the steering controls. With a little luck and manual labor from the two remaining crewmen, they narrowly avoided colliding with the planet and saving the day. Thankfully, DOOP didn't buy his story of heroism and furthered his punishment by black listing him from ever becoming Captain of any ship in the galaxy which resulted in his immediate dismissal from the Planet Express crew."

"I couldn't help but laugh after hearing Zapp's latest punishment. Of course, now Leela began to sympathise with me for having put up with his antics for so many years when she could barely last thirty minutes in the same room as the asshole due to his incessant flirting. After she told me of her adventure, I told her about the success that was my multicultural mission of peace. The crew was more diverse than hundreds of humans and only one alien. We now had a competant Decapodian nurse/surgeon by the name of Clarisse. We had a logic officer in the form of a Neutral by the name of Bob. Thog was our security officer. Alexis was our new engineer. And we now had five more Amphibosians on board doing various duties on the ship. Everyone was handling the new changes with a fair amount of joy."

"We'd gone on several diplomatic missions to the various homeworlds of the millions of different alien species and completed them with nothing short of 100% success. Leela congratulated me on a job well done. I blushed and started muttering gibberish, which made her laugh. Turanga Leela has a beautiful laugh, I will admit to myself. It carries with it a weight, but shares how she feels with those who hear it."

"I find myself having these strange dreams lately. I've yet to tell another soul about them. In my dreams, I feel like I'm an observer. I look out of this hatch at a dying planet. It looks so similar to Earth. The trees are on fire. Craters line the ground and scars litter the landscape. I'm...crying. It's strange. When I turn around, I see the face of my father looking at me in absolute hatred. But I wasn't crying because of him. I think...I was crying for the planet. For its pain."

"When I'm awake, everything in my dreams feels like a fuzzy memory. When I'm asleep, my life feels like a wonderful dream. I'll think about my 'dreams' later. For now, something else startling has begun to happen to me. I can't quite explain it, but something has changed about Six. Don't get me wrong. This isn't anything as simple to point out as a new haircut or nail polish. But even though she looks the same, she looks even more beautiful than when we first met. When we have sex, it feels different than the many times before when we shared a bed. She gives off this...radiating warmth and looks at me with those eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that shine so brightly than the sun and the stars must be jealous of them."

"When I look at her, my heart starts racing and I find it harder to breathe. Those passionate blue eyes that expressed satisfaction now radiate with a strange new emotion that I'm finding harder to place the more time I spend looking in them. I often find myself lost within those amazing eyes. Her ruby red lips twitched up in a light smile that anyone but the most observant would miss. Her flawless skin that reminded him of a porcelain doll."

"What is this feeling? Why is it that no other woman aside from Leela or Six can make me feel like this? I don't know the answers to those questions or the dozens of others that plague my mind so often. I suppose I'll try and figure them out later. Right now, I'm feeling tired and...I want Six. I want to feel her warmth as I drift off to sleep. Maybe that will keep me in a dreamless slumber tonight. Until my next update, this is Captain Naruto Uzumaki, signing off."

With the click of his recorder, he placed it back in its hiding space before calling Six to his quarters. Once Six arrived, she and Naruto lost themselves to slumber in each others arms.

The following morning, Six had woken up from her sleep and turned over to look at her Captain. His skin tone had paled and his eyes looked bloodshot. Sweat dripped from his brow and, after placing the back of her hand on his forehead, could tell he was suffering from a fever. She quickly called Clarisse and Doctor McGee to his room for a diagnosis.

After a few standard tests, Doctor McGee took a deep breath. "Has he been sleeping well recently, Six," he asked. She shook her head.

"Not recently," she replied. "He said he's been having these weird nightmares for a couple of weeks."

The doctor nodded before scribbling something down on a notepad. "It is my medical opinion that he's become overly stressed with the constant missions and this stress has been affecting his sleep schedule. He's just got a small flu. Plenty of rest, relaxation, and Chicken Noodle Soup and he'll be back at the Captain's chair in no time."

Six nodded, thanking the doctor and his nurse, before turning back to Naruto's fraile-looking state. Never in her life would she ever have wanted to see him looking like this. Without notice, Alexis and Thog walked into their Captain's quarters and looked down to where he was resting.

"Clarisse told us that Naruto was sick," Alexis said sympathetically. While she and Six may be rivals for Naruto's affections, they both deeply cared for his well-being. "How's he doing?"

"He's running a pretty high fever and he's been shivering for a while now," Six replied. "The Doctor said he's got a small flu and needs his rest for now. We should watch over him in shifts. I'll take the first shift from now until 1300."

"Then I'll take the second shift," Thog replied. "From 1300 until 2000."

"I guess I get the third shift from 2000 until morning," Alexis said. "We'll be trading shifts until he gets better so that no one person stays with him overnight too often."

Six's eyebrows were raised, but she was thankful for the suggestion none-the-less. She didn't want Alexis to be the one to spend her nights with a sick Naruto. Whether that was her jealousy talking or her desire to keep the Neptunian from getting sick had yet to be decided.

"And if one of us feels like we're getting sick, we'll trade our place looking out for him with Kif," Six said, causing the other two to nod. Kif was Naruto's best friend and closest companion since he joined the Army. If anyone would want to take care of their Captain, it was Kif.

Later that day, Six had traded off with Thog, who had brought their Captain a bowl of Chicken Noodle Soup. When he was awake, Naruto would thank the trio of females for taking care of him even as he ate/drank his soup. That night, Alexis was sitting in the chair, looking over Naruto as he slept. He continued to shiver uncontrollably as he tried to bury himself in the thick blanket.

The more she watched him suffer through the night, the more she just wanted to help him feel better. However, every action she could think of would be better off to do during the daylight hours. Eventually, she only had one idea left and it was the one most likely to work. Without hesitation, she carefully removed her mechanic's uniform.

The cold breeze that blew in from the air conditioner caused her to shiver. Her light purple skin was easily visible through the pitch black of the dark room. Her dark purple nipples stiffened almost immediately when exposed to the cold air from the breeze earlier. The uniform's top half was already hanging at her waist, being held by her lower two arms before they too began to remove the thick, heavy uniform. Her flower was neatly trimmed.

Her body was quite shapely. She had a firm butt and C-Cup breasts. She crawled into his bed and wrapped all four arms around his torso. He continued to shiver against her naked body, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been when she watched him. Her breasts were firmly pressed into his back as she placed her head in the crook of his neck. Her pig-like nose sniffed the air a couple of times as she continued to try and warm his body using hers in addition to the warmth the blanket granted him.

Eventually, his shivers stopped and his breathing began to relax until it became the same rhythmic breathing she was used to. Her eyes were heavy from the struggle of holding onto him and sharing her warmth with him. He turned around, his eyes still firmly shut, but she could make out what he was whispering in her ear.

"Thank you," he said, causing her to sigh in relief before she passed out completely.

"Thank you, Six."

The next morning, Alexis had woken up and quickly put on her mechanic's uniform before returning to her seat looking over him before Thog came in. Thog looked relatively well-rested as she carried a plate of breakfast for both herself and Alexis, who was no doubt starving after the all-nighter she pulled to keep watch over Naruto. As Alexis dug into her scrambled eggs with renewed strength, Thog told her about how Six had made it, almost making her spit it out on instinct, but her stomach protested. Resigning herself to eating Six's wonderful breakfast, Thog began to ask Alexis how the night went.

Alexis didn't want to tell her that she had ended up sleeping with Naruto. As much as the wanted to have meant that she had sex with him, she only ended up serving as a source of heat during his battle with the chills. She told Thog about how much it terrified her to see her Captain so vulnerable and how she felt so helpless when she couldn't come up with a way to keep him from shaking so violently. Thog nodded. Naruto had never been sick, as far as she knew. His records stated that he was practically a walking anti-virus. He'd been healthy while his crew fought through all kinds of different, alien diseases on some of their campaigns.

For him to get an illness for the first time and it turned out to be the flu, it was no wonder Naruto's body was reacting so violently toward it. This flu was the first disease to ever take hold rather than die off instantly upon touching the blood stream, leaving antibodies in its wake. Naruto was a medical marval on his own. What would it be like if he ended up developing a natural immunity to every disease known to man and alien alike? Every species would be clammoring for a sample of his DNA or to integrate it within their own species. Even the Amazonians were not immune to disease and virus, but if Naruto proved to be immune to disease, virus, and any other form of sickness, even the Amazonians would be lining up to have him impregnate them for the betterment of their species.

When he woke up at almost noon, Thog was there waiting for him with a nice bowl of chicken ramen made for him by Six. He smiled and slowly ate the amazing dish in spite of how tired and sore he felt at the moment. Thog gently guided the chopsticks to his mouth before feeding him another bite. When he was done with his lunch, he sat up weakly and started to get off the bed before Thog stopped him.

Moments later, Alexis came into the room to relieve Thog, who greatly appreciated the break and left to go back to her regular duties. During his time with Alexis, he was incredibly inquisitive. He'd ask about how the ship was running and how everyone was reacting to his illness. She told him the ship was running well, though not as well as when he was actively sitting at the helm. She also told him that almost the entire crew was somewhat worried about his state of health, but were otherwise keeping him in their prayers. Kif, as Naruto's XO, was in charge of the ship and was running it well enough with help from Six when he was unsure of what to do.

Alexis had to laugh as she told Naruto about how Kif was a nervous wreck when he took control of the ship for the first time while Naruto was sick. Even though he knew what to do, it was clear that he was still slightly submissive to the wills of others. Thankfully, Six was there to help guide his actions and to enforce his authority among some of the crewmen who didn't respect his authority. Their attitudes didn't last long and they were fairly quick to support Kif as XO.

Naruto laughed weakly before promising himself that he would help teach Kif what he needed to learn to become Captain of his own ship. It was the least he could do for the man who supported him throughout his rise through the ranks under Zapp's wreckless rule.

After a few more hours of chatting, Six came in to relieve Alexis, who immediately took off to sleep in her own room. Six began to undress before putting on a light blue night dress and slipping into bed with Naruto. Naruto wrapped his arms around her waist and snuggled into her chest. A sigh of contentment passed from his lips and a gentle smile graced hers as she softly caressed his thick golden hair. He released a final yawn before sleepily muttering something that paralyzed Six and shook her to the core.

"I love you."

As he cuddled closer to her, everything around Six seemed to freeze in place. Did he just say...he loved her? Was this said consciously or was it the sickness talking? Did he even mean it? Would he remember saying he loved her tomorrow? Her heart was beating rapidly and tears began to fall from her eyes upon hearing those simple words. Is this how one reacts when being told they were loved by someone? While she would openly admit that she cared about Naruto, would she truly be able to say she loved him? What was love? What did it mean to love someone?

Those questions plagued her as she slept in the bed of her lover for the night, keeping his chills from ever showing up that night.

The next morning, Alexis showed up to see Naruto and Six cuddling with one another and a small part of her was hurting as she watched Six wake up slowly beside Naruto, who looked significantly stronger than he had the morning after she slept in his bed. She stretched her body, giving Alexis a perfect view of her physique and the Neptunian had to admit to feeling slightly jealous. Six had a larger bust than she did, but Alexis liked to believe she had a larger, firmer ass than the cyborg, giving her a slight pear shape instead of that hourglass figure Six represented so perfectly.

When Six spotted Alexis, she didn't smile like she normally would have as though she was declaring Naruto hers. Instead, she disrobed and put on her usual uniform before heading to the kitchen to make Naruto more Chicken Ramen. At that instant, she knew something was bothering Six and she felt an intense desire to find out what it was. But for now, she had to tend to Naruto's needs.

She and Naruto talked for a few more hours until Six came back with Naruto's ramen. Six proceeded to talk to Naruto for a few more hours as she fed him. She talked about how Kif was steadily becoming more confident in himself and fewer people were criticising his decisions. He ate his ramen with fervor. It finally seemed like his run with the flu was beginning to break. He still felt chills race through his body and pain every so often, but he was feeling well enough to move around the ship. Not well enough to relieve Kif of his duties as XO, but well enough to give him advice that Kif would inevitably find helpful to make him grow as a person and as a future Captain.

That evening, Thog had taken Six's place and sat on a couch as Naruto got dressed in the bathroom before going to sleep. Thog kept watch over him as his shivering became more controlled and his fever dropped. Thog slept on the couch after an hour of watching Naruto sleep. The following day, Thog woke up to Naruto stretching with a big smile on his face. Thog smiled, knowing that their Captain was back to his normal, if you could actually call having an immunity to most diseases normal, state of self.

When he went back to the helm of the ship and relieved Kif of his duties, the green Amphibosian hugged him before cheerfully going back to his room for a good day's worth of sleep. He deserved that, at least. The rest of the crew seemed to be happy to see him in such good form and ready to take command again.

With the crew back at their posts, Naruto had arrived in his chair in time to catch a call from DOOP Headquarters involving the election of Richard Nixon's Head to the Presidency of Earth. While not a large impact on them as a whole, Nixon now had the power to do things like declare war on people and have access to DOOP resources in the case of war breaking out. However, if that species that Nixon declared war on were members of DOOP, it would be his duty to arrest Nixon for treason which would end up in the court systems for quite some time.

It was important for him as a Captain to know who was in charge of who across the galaxy. Even more so when said planets were members of DOOP, like Earth. Whenever the President of a DOOP member planet was changed via either election, assassination, hostile take over, or some other event that caused a shift in leadership to occur, all DOOP ships were notified immediately in case something were to happen on one of the planets and they were needed to send aide to the planet in question.

Naruto thanked President Glab for the update and the two hung up. Naruto then began to think back to his dreams. The dreams of him watching that planet burn. He bit his lip and walked down to the medical office. As soon as the door swung open, he was greeted with the sight of Doctor McGee.

McGee looked stunned at the sight of his formerly sick patient up and about within three days time. "Captain," he said in shock. "What can I do for you?"

Naruto bit his lip. "I need you to do me a favor...and keep it quiet from anyone else."

"Sure thing, but what do you want," McGee asked.

"I want you to do an in depth diagnostic...on me," Naruto stated. "When I was drafted into the Army, I was given the bare minimum of a physical required to pass me off as fit for duty. I want to know why I suddenly got the flu when I've never been sick a day in my life and I figure my body has some kind of answer that I just don't know about."

McGee nodded before leading him to a small bed. "Lie down on this and I'll use the MRI to scan your body. See if we can't find anything from there before we go into bloodwork." McGee watched as Naruto laid down on the bed before flipping a few switches. The machine hummed to life and a blue ring surrounded him. The ring moved up and down, scanning his body. Within a few minutes, the ring disappeared and McGee was sitting at his computer as the data came in over the link. As his eyes disected the data and the images, McGee's eyes widened. "My God."

"What's wrong, Doc," Naruto asked somewhat fearfully.

McGee looked up to him. "You're not Earthican. You're not human," he told Naruto, who moved behind McGee to look at the screen. The good doctor pointed to an image of Naruto's chest that was seen with the MRI. "See this part here? Humans have one heart in the center of their chest between their lungs. You have two hearts and a binary vascular system. One on each side of your chest and your lungs are just a little bit underneath your hearts. Your actual pulse rate could exceed 170 beats per minute. Your bones are thick, but mostly hollow, allowing for easy and rapid healing of any broken bones you get throughout your lifetime. Your muscles are also different than those of a human's. While humans have a lot of red muscles and white muscles, but not a lot of pink ones, you have mostly pink muscles with a few red and even fewer white. This means you'll be capable of incredible feats of strength if you train your muscles properly and they won't fatigue as quickly as a human's would."

"What's that mean, Doc," Naruto asked.

"Your race was bred to fight," McGee explained. "But I don't know of any species like yours. Not even an Amazonian's body structure is remotely similar to yours."

"But my father and mother were both human," Naruto stated. McGee shook his head.

"I'm not saying they weren't," McGee tried to say in an attempt to calm him down. "But it isn't uncommon for humans to adopt a humanoid-looking alien if they believed he/she was human to begin with. But I am 100% without a doubt sure that you are an alien, but what your race's name is, I haven't the foggiest. For now, let's get that blood sample of yours to see how you got sick in the first place."

Doctor McGee took a needle and a vial and drew a bit of blood from Naruto. When he processed this sample and looked at it closely, he grew even more astonished. "Well, it looks like we've found the reason to your sudden bout with the flu. Your white blood cell count is three times higher than any recorded in human history. As soon as you come in contact with a disease, sickness, or virus, your white blood cells disect it as soon as it hits your blood stream and develops an immunity to it almost instantaneously. However, this strain of influenza appeared to have adapted to your body's adaptability due to the stress and lack of sleep you've had recently and took advantage of the opportunity. Over the three days where you rested, your white blood cells regenerated and did what they usually do, but before the virus could evolve further, they disected it and gave you an immunity to it and the strain that it was attempting to evolve into. Your body is quite possibly the greatest medical discovery in all of human history. How a species as unique and easily adaptable as yours had escaped notice for so long is a mystery in and of itself."

Naruto nodded solemnly. "Could you keep this on the down low for now," the captain asked. "Until I know more about my...origins, I don't want anyone else but the two of us to know that I'm an alien." The doctor nodded.

"Doctor-Patient Confidentiality," McGee said. "Legally, I can't say anything even if someone asked me."

Naruto smirked and patted McGee on the back before leaving the office of their medical practitioner and back on deck. On the outside, he appeared calm and authoritative, but on the inside, he was freaking out. Here he was, under the impression that he was human when he was really an alien from a species that fought a lot or were in so many wars that they evolved to become better fighters. Either way, it did not fill him with hope like he'd wanted. Instead, it filled him with an almost paralyzing fear. Those dreams of his...were they real? If he was an alien, did the man he believed to be his father kidnap him from his home world while it was in so much pain? And what about his mother? Was that a lie too?

So many questions after one discovery that flipped his entire world on its head. Looking back now, he'd really need to relax more often so he didn't lose sleep and succumb to another crappy sickness.

He also had another thing to think about. In his fever-induced delerium, he could barely remember telling Six that he loved her.

Deep down inside of his heart of hearts, he knew he loved spending time with Six. He enjoyed the moments they spent together and that she helped take care of him when he was quite possibly at his weakest and most vulnerable. She...did a lot for him, now that he thought about it. She served under him and never once complained. She stood by him when he was losing faith in himself. When he was ready to retire, she pushed him through and helped remind him of his goals in life.

If he were to be honest with himself, he really did love Six, but he couldn't find the guts to tell her. Maybe she thought his bedside confession was brought on by his sickness and dismissed it all together. While true, she also knew that he never said anything he didn't mean. How was she going to react? So far, she hadn't acted any differently around him, though she always acted like this when others were around. In private, however, he hadn't spent any alone time with her to tell if she was acting differently around him.

Only time would tell if his bedside confession meant anything to her or if she would just play it off as the ramblings of a sick man.

Regardless, it was clear that he had to begin his search for answers as to who he really is and he knew just the place to start.