102: Him

There is a perpetual grin on Seeley Booth's face that he cannot fully hide, nor explain. Maybe it's that a woman he thought about hitting on hit on him first and very soon they'll be going on the first real date he's been on in a long time. Maybe it's because for the first time since things when down between he and Bones, they were able to click on a partners' level and close the case without as much of the hurt getting in his way. Maybe it's the thrill he got ignoring his boss and facing down Vladov, not to mention letting the mobster know Booth doesn't cave to anyone.

It's probably a combo of all of those things, but what he does know for sure is that he feels now like he used to feel about himself before the tumor, and is every bit as cocky as his buckle boasts. This new-found confidence, along with the freedom he has because his feelings for her have been put out there, is what makes it okay for him to let a very surprised Bones know that she is his standard. She has been for the last six years. Recent events haven't changed that and probably won't for a long time. He can't quite keep the wistfulness out of his tone, though, no matter how hard he tries.

He can almost hear the gears in her head whirring and before he knows what's going on, he's fairly sure she's just called him handsome and admitted that he is her standard too. He hides a grin when she starts talking intelligence because she's never lacked self-confidence in that department, though again she surprises him by crediting Catherine as being intelligent as well.

A preemptive strike is necessary before she can shift to Hacker, though, because the last thing Booth needs is for his real opinion about the guy to get back to Hacker via Bones. Booth's fairly sure he can trust her not to tell tales out of school again, but you never know.

She moves into the elevator and looks back at him and for a brief second he sees something he's missed up until now. She's been faking it: trying to seem as supportive as she can for his sake, but there's really more going on under the surface. Heck, she might even be seeing Hacker again to make it look like everything's okay; she certainly made it clear she's not in it for the sex like she was the last time.

That slip- and the sad, forced smile that follows- keep him rooted to the floor despite every desire to join her. Because if he goes in there with her, she'll know he's seen through her, and she will falter even further, and he will comfort her with a touch and then a hug, and- who knows?- maybe more. For as much as he wants to move on no part of him will ever be comfortable with seeing her in pain and the reunion all but proved he's a sucker for her tears.

But he needs to move on, he convinces himself, and give himself a shot at being happy with someone else. So, reluctantly, he lets the doors close between them. He will take the stairs, and go on his date, and find the courage to ask for a second one. Later, over drinks, he will be back with Bones, and maybe his smile is a little forced and the joke falls a little flat, and maybe he knows she's trying too hard too. The important part, he thinks, is that they are trying.