Disillusion

Alexis woke up in a cold sweat looking around the room frantically. With a shaky hand she switched her bedside lamp on to disspell the darkness. Heaving a sigh of relief she pulled the covers back and slowly stood on shaky legs. After changing into track pants and v-neck t-shirt she slipped runners on and went downstairs noting before she left her room that it was just after 1 am. She nodded a greeting to the vamps and shifters she knows. As she walked by they looked at her with sadness knowing she is no longer the same as before. They have taken turns watching over her when she thinks no one is around and they notice she doesn't really do anything except spend most of her time in the gardens curled up watching the world pass looking tired all the time. No-one knew what to do. She was so withdrawn and distant from everyone. Hunter and Stephanie knew she no longer trusts easily anymore. She no longer smiles warmly or sings. Hunter and Stephanie look at each other with sadness. They knew the reason and needed to clear it up. They wanted the old Alexis back. They wanted her to be happy again.

She sat curled up on one of the many benches, wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her chin on them. She was so tired, but couldn't sleep for long before the nightmares came and wouldn't leave her alone. A warm breeze came and seemed to wrap around her to comfort her unaware that she was being watched. Sighing softly she closed her eye's enjoying the warmth the breeze seemed to give her. She must have dozed off because the next thing she new she woke up to a familiar voice softly saying her name. Blinking a few times she brought the owner of the voice in focus and smiled slightly. "Hi Wade. " He smiled soflty. " Hello luv. You know you were falling asleep out here. " " I'll take it where I can. " He frowns. " Not sleeping well? " She shook her head. " No. Haven't since I woke up here. Nightmares. " He swallows hard at seeing the shadows that seem to be constant in her eye's. " May I join you?" She lifts a shoulder as she rested her head on her knees. Wade sat beside her. " I remembered when I first saw you. You were so nervous but so curious at the same time. You had such a grip on your stuffed rabbit... You looked so lost and alone. " She smiled a little as she remembered. " I was terrified! " Looking at him her smile widens a little. Wade was almost afraid to breathe seeing the shadows recede letting her continue. " you were one of the first ones to greet me . You got down to my level and smiled holding your hand out to introduce yourself. You were so careful and like a giant to me at the time. Then you did little things to make me smile and giggle. " He chuckles. " I remember. As you got more comfortable around me the more trouble you wanted to cause. " She straightened as her eye's lit up a little. " Trouble I wanted to cause? If memory serves me right you caused the majority of it just to make me laugh. Especially when I got hurt or was upset. " He shook a finger at her grinning. " When you were just a little thing yes. When you got older you did it just to see who you could stir the pot with. " Her eye's lit up more. " Not my fault opportunities presented themselves to me at the right moment. If I remember correctly, I got you a few times. " He chuckles. " Yes, you did. And you took great joy in it." " I also remember knowing which ones to stay away from because of the aura they gave off. And there were a few that I didn't want to be around because they looked scary. " Her eye's widen as she stiffens, straightening in her seat. Shock going right through her as memories came forward. Wade looked at her concerned. " Alexis? What is it? " He got a bad feeling as he saw anger flare in her eye's as she stood. " They know them! " He stood as well and winced slightly at the anger in her tone. " Alexis, Who knows who? " Looking at him she knew by his aura that he had no idea what she was referring to. Swallowing the bile that rose she looks towards the mansion. " Where are they? " He frowns slightly. " Hunter and Stephanie? In the study as far as I know. Alexis...! " She had started towards the balconey doors leading to the study. " Wait! what is going on ? " She stops and waits for him to be at her side. " One of many things. " Raising her arms over her head suddenly she said one word. " Illuminous! " Lightening seemed to flash from no where lighting up the garden. They noticed the more than necessary silent sentinels covering their eyes at the sudden brightness. " That is one of them. " She quickly went up the steps to the glass doors.

Hunter and Stephanie were talking with some of their clan when the doors burst open with a gust of wind as Alexis strode in with Wade on her heels looking puzzled and concerned. Stephanie took one look at her and knew as a hand went to her chest. Hunter saw the look as well and bowed his head, placing his hands on his desk. Alexis swallows hard as she looked at them before turning her gaze to the three large lycans standing there in their were form. One look at their eye's and she knew as a tear slipped free. " I know it's you so drop this charade and turn human. " Her gaze went to her god parents as she wrapped her arms around herself. " Why? " She didn't bother looking at the three men as they took their human form. They didn't answer so she yelled the question again causing Stephanie to jump slightly. " Why damnit! " Even Wade jumped a little at her tone. " Did you offer them a better deal than Randy? " Hunter straightens running a hand over his face before answering. " No. They've been with us for years after Randy left. They had ears where we didn't and found out about what he wanted to do to us. " He sighs heavily as he looked at her. " We didn't want to use you like that but we couldn't seem to get him no matter what we tried. " Alexis swallows hard. " So I was used as bait to bring him out into the open. And since he has never met them we thought it would be wise to use them. We never meant for you to get hurt Alexis..." Seth stepped forward, his gaze held sorrow as he looked at her. " We wanted to tell you but we were ordered not to no matter how much we wanted to or how much we hated doing it. " She finally looked at them and they stiffened at the hurt that was in her eye's. " Were you threatened with bodily harm or death if you told me? " Hunter and Stephanie stiffened at her words. Roman spoke this time. " No we weren't. " " Then you should have told me. " Dean. " We're loyal to Hunter and Steph. " She looks away but not before they caught the sheen of tears as her gaze dropped to the floor. " Of course. I was just a job to you. " Swallowing hard she looked at her God parents. " I hope they got a bonus for a job well done. They played their parts beautifully. " Stephanie swallows hard at the sorrow in her eye's. " Alexis... Please..." Alexis held up a hand as tears slip free. " No. You could have warned me about the danger but you didn't. You used me to lure Randy out. I was willing to let him kill me so I wouldn't have to suffer the torture he had planned for me. " She gestured to the lycans. " They betrayed me and you decided not to tell me that my life was in danger . You could have even found a way to tell me that and that they were there to help stop him. You could have let me know damnit! " She took a deep breath as she wiped at her eye's. " Instead, I was attacked by a rogue then tortured and taunted by Randy. And when I didn't see any hope I goaded him to kill me. " She smiles slightly with sadness in her eye's. " I wonder if it would have been best to let me die? " Everyone in the room stiffened. Hunter swallows hard as he straightened. " There is something else you should know Alexis..." She cut him off. Her voice soft as she spoke. " No. I have no interest in what you have to say at this time. If ever. In the morning I'm leaving for home to pack up. From there I'm leaving. " She turns to go out the patio doors as the three lycans she had cared about were by the inner door. She had no desire to go by them.

Hunter. " Where are you going? " Alexis arched an eyebrow at him. " That is something you don't have to concern yourself with. " With that she left as Wade followed her baffled as to what just happened. He didn't say anything until she got to her room. " Ah, Alexis. " Facing him she gave him a small smile before hugging him. " It's al;right Wade. You didn't know what they did. I'll let you know where I am once I get there. " He hugged her back closing his eye's briefly. " I was going to suggest a place if I may." She looks up at him and knew he wasn't sure how she'd react to his suggestion. " Sure. " He looked relieved. " South Africa. I have a friend there. He can meet you at the airport and take you to his village. If you like..." She hugs him again. " I think I will. Thank you Wade. You have always been wonderful to me. " He smiles warmly. " What can I say, it's my British charm. " Alexis rolls her eye's and smiles. "Right, your charm." He chuckles before placing a kiss on her for head. " You've been like a little sister to me Alexis and it's not going to change. Just let me know when you get there safe alright? " " As long as you come and visit. " He grins. " Of course I will. One way or another I will. And if you ever need me I'll be there. " With a soft sob she threw herself at him and cried softly into his chest. Wade had no idea what caused her to be so vulnerable but he did not like it as he wrapped his arms around her and let her cry. Movement caught his eye and he looked and saw the three lycans there. Seeing her in Wades arms had Seth growling low as Dean and Roman had each of his arms, holding him back. Wade could tell they didn't like what they saw but he also saw sorrow in their eye's as well as heart ache. He glanced down at Alexis as her sobs grew quieter then back at them giving them a small nod in understanding. All three stiffen slightly before returning the nod and disappearing as Alexis took a step back wiping her eye's. " Thank you so much Wade. I hope to see you before I go tomorrow? " He smiled softly. " If you want I can even go with you. " " Really? You would do that for me? " She frowns slightly. " Are you sure? I don't want you getting into trouble on my account..." " Don't worry about it Luv. At this moment you are more important and you need support from the ones that care about you. " He saw the shadows enter back in her eye's as she looked down. " Yes, well, at this moment you seem to be the only one that truly gives a shit about my well being. " He placed another kiss on her forhead before stepping back. " Try to get some rest okay? " " I'll try Wade. Before noon work for you?" " Sounds good Alexis. I'll see you then. " He waited until her door was closed before his eye's glowed slightly before going the way the lycan's did. He found them right around the corner waiting. Looking at them he could tell that they heard everything that was said and looked heartbroken and defeated. " You three truly care for her don't you? "

Dean. " More than you know. " Seth. " It's killed us knowing that we had to obey orders and not tell her anything. " A muscle worked in Wades jaw. " No! If you truly do care for her then you would have told her! Think to yourselves. What was more important, her or your *job* ? " He pointed down the hall towards her room. " I have known her since she first came here as a child. I have never seen her like this nor do I want to again. That's if she recovers from this fiasco ! As it is I'm going to go see her god parents and find out what the hell has been going on and why keep her in the dark like they did? " He turns to go but pauses. " If you three really want to make amends with her let me know before we leave in the morning. " Roman finally spoke. " We really do. We hurt her and betrayed her trust. We'll do anything to get her back. " Dean. " No matter how long it takes. " Seth. " Or where we have to go to make it up to her. We... need her. " He runs a hand over his face. " It's hard to explain. It's like as soon as we caught her scent..." Roman. " We would do anything for her. Anything..." Dean. " We'd even kill for her if it made her happy. "

Wade looked at them shocked at their words before grinning slightly. " First off no killing anyone. I don't think she'd like that to much. Secondly, I'll tell you were she is going." They perked up at his words as Wade raised a finger to them. " But, if I find out that either of you has hurt her in any way... Then I'm afraid I have some bad news." All three men nodded as Wade quickly filled them in before heading down to see Hunter and Stephanie. The door stood open as they were still in the study. Looking up Stephanie stood anxiously. " How is she doing ? " Wade folded his arms across his chest as he looked at the both of them. " Aside from physically and emotionally battered. I'm surprised she is still standing as strong as she is. " Hunter was tapping an envelope on the desk looking at it before raising his gaze to him. " You have a right to be pissed. " " Damn rights I do! What the fuck would posses you to keep something like that from her! If you truly cared about her than you would have told her and she may not be as upset as she is now! "

Hunter stood, shoulders slumped. " You're right. We should have. " He glanced at his wife smiling slightly. " I should have listened to you about this. Instead I was over confidant in my ability to keep her safe. I was proven wrong and now we are going to lose one of the most important things. " He sat back in his chair looking defeated before tossing the envelope across the desk. " This is for her. If you can give it to her when you can. It will explain a lot of things. Dean, Seth and Roman have been almost working themselves to death since being back. They are more edgy than before. " Wade raises an eyebrow. " And I may have an answer to that..." Wade filled them in on his hunch and when he was done Stephanie held a hand over her mouth as tears of joy spilled over as Hunter leans back in his chair. " That explains the strong connection they have built in such a short time. " He gestures to the envelope. " That will definitely help her understand. It's something we just found out about a short while ago when she had another routine blood work done. " Stepping forward Wade picks it up as Stephanie spoke. " After the attack she complained of not feeling well so we took her to get checked out to make sure he didn't bite her or inject her with anything. " Now Wade was concerned. " And ? "

A short while later Wade left the study stunned at the news as he looked at the envelope in his hand. * I have no idea how she is going to react to the news.* Sighing heavily he decides to grab a bite to eat then rest for a bit while digesting the news that he received.

Alexis woke feeling more tired than before. Groaning softly she drags herself out of bed and starts getting ready for the trip home. Tears suddenly spring up and spill over. * It will be a long time before I can be there again. If ever.* Wiping her eye's she got dressed and packed what few things she did before looking at the time. *Ugh, 7:45am* Sighing she decides to go and grab a coffee then go out to the bench she has been using. As she sat there sipping her coffee remembering the odd dreams she had last night.

* She was trapped in a dark room with no-where to go or move to. Suddenly a soothing hand caressed her hair holding her close while whispering to her. "It's alright Alexis. We'll protect you with our dying breath. " * She had jerked awake slightly before drifting off. * This time Randy was standing over her hitting her while laughing. Then he was gone as strong arms surrounded her as someone nuzzled her neck. " It's alright now. He's gone and can't hurt you anymore. " She wanted to burrow into the embrace but couldn't. * She sat up in bed clutching the blanket to her chest as her eye's darted around the dark room. Not seeing anything she laid back down to try to rest a little more.

* Roman, Seth and Dean stood around her looking at her doing nothing. Alexis let the hurt and anger come forward as she hit their chests yelling at them. " Why? Do I mean so little to you? Just a toy for you to use and disgard? " They didn't answer her, just stood there with arms at their sides as she hit them again to no avail. Another pair of arms surround her holding her still as they kissed her forehead. " No! You are not a toy. You mean more than you'll ever know! Believe that! * Blinking back the dreams she drank more coffee before getting up and slowly making her way back inside un-aware that three sets of eye's watched her longingly and with sadness.

Wade found her in her room sitting on her bed, legs drawn up, resting her head on her knees. Going over he gently sat down getting her to look at him and smile slightly. " Ready? " He smiles softly. " When ever you are Alexis. " As they headed downstairs she hesitated slightly at seeing around a dozen were's and vamp's by the door. Wade placed a hand on her back leaning down slightly. " It's alright luv. They wanted to see us off. " Blinking she recognized them from when they would teach her, help protect her when needed and being her friend most of all. For the first time in what seemed like months she gives a genuine smile as she hugged every single one of them and spoke to them a little. A.J. was the last one and they hugged each other tight. A.J. " I'm so going to come and visit if that's alright? " Alexis wipes a tear away smiling. " I would love that! I'll get in touch when I'm settled in." A.J. wiped her own tears away grinning. " You better! Don't make me hunt you down! " " Don't worry I won't. " She looks at all of them. " I'll keep in touch with all of you. " Soon they were on their way as Wade drove. Unlike contrary belief, vampires actually don't burn in sunlight. They are just used to working at night were they can blend with shadows easier. As for were's, they can shift form when ever they wish. The older they are the easier it is. Wade had slipped his sunglasses on as they drove in comfortable silence. Wade put on music at a low volume and kept the temperature comfortable for her as a couple of hours later she had drifted off in the passenger seat. He looked in the review mirror to see if the vehicle he saw earlier was still following them. Sure enough it still was as he glanced at Alexis and sighs. * I hope I did the right thing. *

Late in the evening they pulled up to her house. Getting out she stretches and looks at her home with a sad smile before heading up the stairs and going inside and upstairs to her room with Wade following. Wade smiles softly. " It's just like I remember. " Alexis smiles over her shoulder as she pulled out some suitcases. Placing them on the bed she starts packing clothes and some books while Wade sat on her bed watching her. " You know you don't have to leave. This is your first home. I know you love it..." She gave a weak smile as tears shine in her eye's. " I used to... now I'm not sure anymore. " Taking a deep breath she continued packing. When she was done she went down and sent a message to Mark letting him know she was leaving and if he needed any food he was more than welcome to what ever she had and that when she got to where she was going she'd get in touch and explain everything to him. When she was done, her and Wade took her bags out to the car and put them in the trunk. As they got in he looked at her. " Are you sure you want to go to a hotel? " She looked at him. " I'm positive Wade. To many memories here. " He smiled in understanding as they drove away.