Harry sat alone in the bubble that was the black place, filled with darkness and despair andpain that seemed to be his reality. He had just spoken to Professor Snape, and what was confusing to him was why the man had been in his head anyways. He was going to die regardless, wasn't he? It certainly seemed like it, the way things were going. His mind seemed to be pushing in on him, memories flashing by that wre threatening to engulf him in any given second. It was all just too much.
Harry hated reliving everything he had gone through; his life had been a living nightmare for as long as he could remember, and reliving it was just another nightmare. But this time, it was almost as if he was watching another person, another life; it couldn't be him, he really couldn't have looked that badly or been punished that much... could he? Harry had tried desperately for years to forget, and as he thought about it, he realized that he had achieved it more thoroughly than he could have ever guessed. Each memory was a different type of pain, a different striking revelation that pained Harry even more than the previous one because of the enormity of the shock. Harry wanted it all to end, he didn't want to remember anymore- but really, what could he do? All he could do was wait and hope for the best, but now he wasn't even sure what was the best anymore. It was all so confusing.
Harry could vaguely remember being shocked as the spell in the air had hit him, and he remembered falling, and he even remembered falling in the vaguest part of his mind. But he had thought he was dead then, he had to have been dead then! He couldn't have survived, and if he did, he wasn't sure if he wanted to be alive if it meant endless pain.
Snape had said, 'Remember all the happy things that have happened in your life, and try not to think about the bad ones. Remember those who love you.'
'The bad ones'. Could Snape know? Could he? Could he... possibly? Harry hoped witha ll his heart that he didn't. He had tried so hard to keep the secret for so many years, but it was hard as scars became more and more evident every year. Harry hadn't even told Ron and Hermione.
'Use your will to live'. All Harry could remember was that it was his fault he was in this situation; he had run away, only to be chased by Death Eaters. His fault. And now he was in this horrible situatino. 'Use your will to live'. Harry wondered for the briefest second if he had even any will left to live, but he knew he did in a twisted way. He couldn't leave his friends, those he loved and those who loved him, and most of all he couldn't leave the Wizarding world.
As much as it hurt to fight, Harry had to. It hurt so badly, and Harry wasn't sure if he wanted to even fight. But what Snape had said rang true in Harry's mind. He had to live, it was important for survival not only of himself but for everyone else. He couldn't die now.
That was Harry's last thought as he slipped into unconsciousness, sitting by himself in the black bubble, memories flashing by at an amazing speed, pain coming in flashes as the memories changed.
He had to live. He had to.
But one question still rang in his head.
Why? How ?
And most of all...
Can I do this?
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Really short, but I wanted to do something from Harry's point of view. Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if it was allright in showing Harry's pain and unsureness. Hopefully it was.
Review!
