Wow, I'm sorry this has taken so long. I've started at college and wow I'm busy. Also, this chapter was very hard, so I kind of procrastinated on writing it. Anyway, I apologize dearly. I hope you'll forgive me and read on!

This chapter takes place in Minnesota…in the boys' past.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of its characters.

WARNING: This chapter contains strong language.

"Jamie, Kendall's mom is here!" Jamie shoved his notebook into his backpack and hopped towards the door on one foot while putting on his left shoe

"Coming Mom!" he yelled down the stairs as he finally forced the shoe onto his foot and raced down the stairs, while putting his backpack over both shoulders. His mom was outside at the window of Mrs. Knight's minivan, having a chat with her friend. Jamie grinned as he saw Kendall waving enthusiastically from the front seat. The side door slid open and Carlos and Logan gestured to him eagerly from the back.

Jamie blew past his mother heading for his friends. "Oh!" his mother cried. "Jamie, come here, at least give me a kiss goodbye, alright?" Jamie rolled his eyes, but went back to give his mom a peck on the cheek.

"Oh so he's still a mama's boy, huh?" Jamie flinched as he heard the smooth voice coming from the front door. He could feel his mother's stance change as well, as she straightened up and turned to face her husband.

"He's giving me a kiss goodbye, Roger," she hissed, obviously embarrassed that the man was picking a fight in front of Jamie, his friends, and Jennifer.

"He's a fucking mama's boy, that's what he is." Roger bit his cheek and shook his head, a sly smile coming over his chiseled good features. "His first day of seventh grade and you're sending him off with a kiss from mommy." Roger shook his head again, looking disgusted. "Fucking mama's boy…"

"Roger!" Brooke Diamond exclaimed, casting a fearful glance at the minivan. "Jen, I'm sorry. You're taking the boys to hockey practice today, right?"

Jennifer Knight nodded, glancing at her own son in the front seat who had gotten extremely quiet, along with the other two in the backseat. She knew they were all afraid of Mr. Diamond. "Brooke, you know if you need anything…" She trailed off and just shrugged hopelessly, knowing what would come next.

"I'll handle him, it's fine," Brooke told her, smiling forcefully. "Bye Jamie," she bid to her son, blowing him another kiss. Jamie hesitated a moment before getting in the car, squeezing in next to Carlos. Logan and he were both looking concerned at their best friend, and Kendall had twisted around in the front seat to glance at Jamie.

"You alright, Jamie?" Kendall asked, and Jamie just nodded, setting his backpack by his feet and putting on his seatbelt. Kendall accepted that and turned back round to face the front as his mom pulled out of the Diamond's driveway. Jamie stared out the window as he saw his parents begin yelling at each other on the doorstep of their home.

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A couple of weeks into the first semester of seventh grade, and Jamie was feeling more lost than he ever had. Not just in his classes. His parents fighting had escalated to epic proportions. There seemed to never be a quiet evening in his house anymore. There was always screaming, his father cursing and calling Jamie's mother names. Jamie's name always seemed to come up. He was a "pussy," a "mama's boy," he was "never going to be a real man."

One morning, Jamie had just stumbled into homeroom, exhausted, having been up most of the night. That was due both to the amazing amounts of homework he had to struggle through every night, and to his parents having spent most of the night shouting in their bedroom. He tripped over his own feet as he walked down the aisle to his seat near the back of the room, causing a few of the people around him to laugh. His face flushed a bright red as he sank down into his chair, staring down at the floor.

"Are you alright, Jamie?" The voice that had spoken up had been so small and quiet that Jamie almost didn't hear it. He turned, and saw that the girl behind him had been the one to speak—she was staring at him with ice-blue eyes looking through thick, black glasses. She smiled slightly, showing shiny braces, and for some reason Jamie couldn't help but smile back.

"Yeah, I'm fine…uh…" For the life of him, he couldn't remember her name. Surely the teacher called it every day in roll, didn't she? Had Jamie even been aware that a girl sat behind him in homeroom?

"My name's Arianna," she said helpfully. "Arianna DeArmond."

"Right, right," Jamie nodded. "And I'm…well, you clearly know my name already."

"Yeah," Arianna smiled. "You're pretty popular, you know. Being on the hockey team and all that."

"Me?" Jamie snorted. "Popular? Please. I'm not even the best guy on the team. I mean, Kendall's the captain, and-."

"I think you're great," Arianna shrugged, smiling down at her desk as she picked up her pencil and started back on the math problems in her notebook. Her eyes flitted back up to Jamie once and she smiled a little wider, shaking curly blonde hair over her shoulder.

Jamie smiled and nodded slowly. "Thanks Arianna," he replied softly, and turned back round to face the front.

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From then on, Arianna and Jamie were friends. Well…almost. They talked in homeroom. And when Jamie passed her in the hallway, he'd smile at her, but his friends would keep on walking and he wouldn't get the chance to stop and talk to her. But he wanted to. She was really quiet in class, but when she was talking to him, she was really funny and sweet. She was someone he wasn't afraid to be himself around. She was terrific.

By December, Jamie was so smitten with her that he could hardly stand it. There was a winter dance coming up, during the last week of school before the break, and he had been planning to ask her to go with him for weeks now. He could never seem to find the right moment. One cold morning, he stopped outside the door of homeroom, gathering his courage. He'd do it. Right now, he'd just ask her. The worst thing she could do was say no.

"Hey, Arianna, I wanted to ask you something, " he said as he sat down, setting his backpack beside his desk. He flipped around in his seat, but was stopped in his tracks at the look on Arianna's face. "Wh-what's wrong?" he asked shakily, seeing her biting her lip and not looking Jamie in the eye.

"I'm moving." The words hit Jamie like a ton of bricks. He blinked in surprise and recoiled.

"You're…wait, you're what?" Jamie couldn't believe this. "You're…you're moving? But why?"

"My mom got a new job, and we have to move two hours away to some huge city," Arianna explained, sounding so sad that it made Jamie's heart break. He couldn't think of anything to say. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't figure out what to do now. "Jamie?" Arianna asked, looking at him closely. "Come on, say something."

"I mean…I…" Jamie stammered. "That…that sucks."

Arianna stared at him for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah. It does." They just sat there in silence for a minute before Jamie spoke up.

"When?" he asked, finally.

"Over Christmas break," she told him.

So she could still go to the dance with me! Jamie realized. But now…now he couldn't ask her. He was choking on the words and his heart was hammering away in his chest and he couldn't bring himself to say anything.

The teacher started taking roll. "Mr. Diamond, please face forward," she called out to him, as she did almost every day to stop him from talking to Arianna. Jamie slowly turned in his seat and slumped down, wondering how it had all gone so wrong.

After class, he left the classroom like he usually did to get to math with Logan, but then he stopped. He waited for Arianna to come out of the classroom. She came out, tucking a blonde curl behind one ear and with her nose stuck in a book, as always. "Jamie!" she exclaimed when she ran into him as he stepped out in front of her. "Sorry."

"My bad," he apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. "Look, I…I mean…I'm really…you moving, it's…."

Arianna just looked at him. "Jamie, you're stuttering."

Jamie flinched at her words.

"The boy spends his time stuttering and stammering in the background, Joanna! He'll never be anything if he doesn't learn how to stand up for himself and be a man!"

"Jamie?" Arianna looked concerned. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" he snapped. He hitched his backpack over his shoulder. "Look, I'll see you, okay?"

"Wait!" she called after him as he stalked away. But he turned the corner and was gone. "What did you have to say?" she wondered.

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She moved away. The second semester dragged by, full of sleepless nights of arguing and shouting and screaming.

One summer night, it all went to hell.

"Roger, no!" Jamie startled awake as he heard his mother scream loudly. He bolted out of bed and then stopped at his closed door. "Roger, don't be like this!"

"Maybe if you hadn't let my son become such a little fucking mama's boy then we wouldn't be having this fucking fight!" A crash came from the direction of the kitchen. Jamie's eyes widened and he pulled open his door and padded down the hall in his bare feet.

Peeking around the corner, he saw his mom standing by the sink, desperate tears rolling down her cheeks. His father stood at the table, a smashed dinner plate around his feet. "You're letting him grow up to be a failure!"

"Roger, so he's not you! He's not some hotshot narcissist. He's my boy—our boy—and I love him for who he is!"

They were fighting about him again. Jamie felt the weight of the world on his back every time this happened. He was always the reason they were screaming. Always.

"Maybe if he was, I wouldn't have to find something else!" Roger spat at his wife, who paled instantly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked him, her voice shaking.

"I'm leaving," he said simply. "I've been seeing another woman, and I'm leaving you for her."

Joanna raised a shaking hand to her mouth.

"What the hell?" Jamie burst out, and slapped a hand over his mouth as Roger looked over at him. Jamie took a deep breath and stepped out from around the corner.

"Go back to bed, Jamie, sweetie," Joanna insisted, shooing Jamie towards the doorway.

"No!" Roger exclaimed, holding up a finger. "What did you just say to me, James?"

Jamie gulped. "I said 'What the hell.' As in…What the hell do you think you're talking about?"

"Listen, James," Roger smirked. "I had so many hopes that you would be this great person…and I have to say I'm disappointed. You're the most ridiculous little kid I've ever seen. 13 years old and going by 'Jamie,' wearing glasses, basically being a shy little nerd. You could have been so great. Maybe you still could be. But until the day that I finally can be proud of you, I'm out of your life. Sorry kid."

Through Jamie's watery eyes, he could see several empty beer bottles on the table. He tried to tell himself that his dad didn't mean it, his father loved him…

…but that wasn't true and Jamie knew it.

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First day of eighth grade

"Have a good day boys," Mama Knight called after the four best friends as they got out of the car in front of the middle school.

Kendall walked in first, always the leader of their group. He had gotten a couple inches taller over the summer, and grown his hair out. Now he was flipping it out of his green eyes as he pulled open the door and walked in.

Logan was next. He was still short and small-framed, making him look like a delicate little kid—but the hockey stick he was carrying made it clear he belonged with his friends.

Carlos came in third. He was working a new, short, gelled up, spiky hairstyle, and was very proud of the one inch he had grown, making him just barely taller than Logan, but he still had his cute chubby Carlos cheeks that made him totally adorable.

James followed them in last. He had spent the summer tanning by the pool, working out, and basically changing himself. He had contacts. His hair was highlighted. He was muscular, he was tall, he was different.

"Hey guys!" one girl that they knew called out to them.

"Hey," Kendall, Logan, and Carlos called back.

"Well, hello there," James said smoothly, snatching his sunglasses off his face and giving the girl a smoldering look. "How was your summer? …Hot?"

The girl looked awestruck. "Jamie? Is that you?"

"Actually I go by James now," he informed her. "I did a little growing up over the summer." As an afterthought, he looked at his friends. "I think we all did."

"Well…maybe I'll meet up with you sometime…James." With a flirtatious smile and wave, the girl turned and walked down the hall with her giggling friends.

James smirked and walked off with his friends, who were confused, but ready to accept their friend coming out of his shell. They just didn't know what had brought it on, especially since it had happened so soon after his parents' divorce. Most kids would have become more shy and insecure when their parents split. But James had blossomed into a confident—if not overly-confident—guy who was ready to become everything he could be.

I'll make him proud, was Jamie's voice in his head. I'll do whatever it takes. I have to make him proud.

Again, thanks for the patience with this story. I'm VERY busy. I love every single one of you for reading and I absolutely love getting comments, so click below and leave one :)