They hardly talked the entire drive to the park Castiel had just been to hours before. When Castiel described it to him, Dean knew exactly which one he was talking about. Adam and Sam liked to go to that park too.

By the time they got there both of their tempers had simmered down to a level head.

The Impalas yellow headlights made the park glow like an eerie movie set as they pulled up into a parking space. Swirling dark clouds threatening rain above them were being pushed by the wind over and around the moon, dimming the only light they had once the Impala was turned off.

They walked through the wet grass and to the swing set. Dean sat down on one, and Castiel sat next to him. He imminently started swinging back and forth slowly. Dean watched him.

"So what was it about this park that got you so upset?" Dean asked him.

Castiels heart skipped a beat as he thought about telling him the whole truth. But he didn't. "Something...just happened here when I was younger...I've just been realizing the truth about my family recently I guess."

Dean nodded slowly, still watching Castiel swing back and forth, pumping his legs slightly, and dragging his feet on the sand under them that had already been grooved into a slight hole from the years of being weathered down by childrens feet.

"But what about you, Dean?" asked Cas, "what happened to you today? Why was it so important that I come along with you?"

Dean sighed, he started to swing too. He backed up as far as the chains of the swing would let him and he pushed off. He let the swing take him back and forth for a few before tipping the toes of his shoes into the sand to slow him down. "I told my dad that I was bi today."

"What?" Castiels eyes grew wide.

"Yeah," Deans lip tugged a smirk, "he wasn't really mad or anything. He just got really quiet. I dunno...I was playing with Adam and Sam in the living room and my dad was watching T.V. and he made some comment about bisexuals and homosexuals and I dunno it-it just came out. I just straight out told him; 'hey, dad, you know I'm bi.' He then stared at me for a long time like he expected me to start laughing and tell him I was just kidding. Then he realized I wasn't joking and just got really quiet. Sams known of course. He's known even before I knew. God, Sammy knows friggin' everything. Adam of course had no idea what we were talking about and asked me what being bi meant. So I told him. My dad got mad after that. He told me I wasn't allowed to play with Adam anymore today and I had to go to my room. So I did. I slammed the door and made a big scene of it. Who was he to say that I wasn't allowed to play with my own baby brother? Just 'cause I told him I was bi? It was so stupid, Cas. I dunno." His eyes were glaring at the bench in front of them, letting out a slow quivering breath. Like he was about to cry, but wasn't allowing himself to. "I snuck out and ran to Bennys first chance I got. Stayed there until Sam called me and told me that Dad was gone and Adam was cryin' and he didn't know what to do. I went home, took care of 'em, and put them to bed. I couldn't stand bein' in that house for long yah know? I was still pissed. I needed to get out. So I took the Impala and picked you up. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you all day, buddy. I really am."

Castiel looked down at his feet, drawing circles in the sand with his toes. "It's fine." he said, "I really shouldn't have been so mad. It was irrational of me to behave like that just because you wouldn't talk to me. I'm sorry your dad reacted like that."

"Eh," Dean drew his head up towards the sky, rolling a shoulder, "it's fine. I'm already over it."

The crickets, and frogs, and fireflies started to come to life again. The lighting bugs buzzed around Dean and Castiel, their tail ends blinking in the darkness. The air felt cool on Castiels skin. A slight breeze tickled his face, and he closed his eyes, leaning towards it as though it were a soothing hand caressing him.

Everything was calm for a few moments.

"Cas."

"Hmm?"

"Do you...do you miss your mom?"

"...of course I do. Do you miss yours?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

"...How did...how did she..."

"There was a fire. She didn't get out in time."

"Oh...I'm sorry, Dean."

"It's all right. I was only four when it happened...what happened to your mom? "

This was the first time anyone had ever asked Castiel what had happened to his mom. No one ever talked about her in front of him really. Like she was some big secret that wasn't supposed to be talked about unless they did it in hushed voices in a corner far away. Castiel didn't really mind it at first. He didn't really want to talk about his mother leaving. He would rather think about how kind and funny she was rather than the bad things. He just wanted to think of good things.

But for some reason, when Dean talked to him; he just couldn't stop the words from coming up.

Castiel had went silent for a while and Dean seemed to get uneasy about his question. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he said quickly, "I just-"

Castiel cut him off.

"She...she left. She left a few months ago. It was a Sunday morning..."

Castiel could remember it was Sunday. The family hardly went to church anymore, because weekends had ended up being filled with sports and Castiels piano concerts, but every once in awhile Mrs. Shurley would come into Castiels room and sit on the edge of his bed, combing her fingers through his dark hair until he woke up, and she would ask him if he would like to go. He always said yes. Then they would round up everyone else and pile into the car and those days ended up being Castiel's favorites because it seemed that no one fought on those days. Those days seemed to hold extra laughter and happiness than any other day of the week.

She didn't wake him that morning.

Castiel woke up on his own. The sun was just starting to take its place in the sky. It was cold out, and he wrapped himself tighter in the blankets before blinking open his sleep filled eyes to see the flurries of falling snow outside his window. He yawned and turned over in his bed to go back to sleep when he noticed that his bedroom door was open.

He stared at it confused for a moment.

He checked the date on his phone to make sure it was the day he thought it was. It was indeed Sunday. There wasn't anything particularly special going on that day, so he was expecting his mother to take them to church. But it seemed as though she had already been into his room, and had not woken him.

Something twisted inside Castiel. Something wasn't right. It didn't feel right.

When he swung his feet over his bed and had them land on the floor a horrible chill ran up his spine. Something had gone very wrong.

Castiel walked out of his room into a deathly quite hallway. He was walking towards the staircase at the end of the hall when he crossed his parents bedroom. The door was wide open and his head just seemed drawn to look inside, as though the rest of his body already knew something that his brain didn't.

The bed was a mess. Pillows and blankets thrown all around the room. The dresser drawers were all open and some seemed to had been yanked out in such a haste that they had fallen to the floor. The contents inside of them had disappeared.

Castiels heart was hammering now, his hands trembling at his sides as he ran to his fathers office to see Chuck hunched over his computer. He was sobbing with his hands clasped in his hair and his elbows pressed against the desk. His books and paper work had all been shoved to the ground and were laying scattered all over the carpet.

His eyes went wide as his fear for the worse grew stronger. He knew what must have had happened, but he didn't want to believe it.

He whirled down the stair steps, nearly tripping and summer salting down to the foyer. He didn't know if she was still home, if she was already gone, or even where exactly he was going, but he still ran. His bare feet smacked against the hard wood floors up until he came to the front door where he pushed a million stray shoes out of the way to tear the door open. He was just able to catch her stepping off the porch with her last suitcase.

She was wearing her soft warm winter coat that smelled like peppermint. It was purple and she had gotten it for Christmas. Her hair was falling down her back in soft waves, a few of the snow flurries had gotten trapped in her locks. Her pale hands were gripping tightly onto her last pieces of luggage. Her knuckles blushed lightly red. Her boots had left tracks in the snow from the path she had taken back and forth from the porch to her car.

Everything was frozen in that moment. Castiel couldn't even feel the burning cold on the bottom of his feet, or the cold tears leaking his face. His chest was too tight, and it was all too difficult to accept that it was reality. It couldn't be real. This had to be a dream.

"Where are you going, mom?" He hadn't even realized how quickly the sentence left him. It was immediate. As soon as he stepped out onto the porch it fell out of his mouth as though it were rehearsed. As though it was the same as asking her if she was heading to the store.

She froze when his voice filled the air. She didn't answer him. She didn't look at him. She was so still Castiel wasn't even sure if she had been breathing.

He spoke again. His voice thick now from choking back sobs. "Mom...what are you doing?"

She turned around then. snow crunched under her boots. Her cheeks were red from the cold and her eyes seemed glassy. But her face was stone. It was difficult for Castiel to read her emotions, and it made him more upset.

She leaned forward and took his hand. Her long fine red painted nails grazing across his skin. She pressed her lips to his forehead. They were warm, but sticky with last nights lipstick. She pressed her palm against his cheek one last time before straightening back up. Cas wrapped his hand around her wrist as an anchor of making her stay.

She said to him as quietly as possible, "Goodbye, Castiel."

Slowly, her wrist slid out of his grasp.

Castiel shook his head in refusal. "Mommy..." the word slipped, "Mommy please..." His eyes became too bleary with tears at that point to even watch her go. He could hear her boots crunching away into the snow and to the driveway. The car door opened and slammed shut. The engine roared to life.

Someone was thundering across the living room and out to the porch at this time. Slamming into the back of Castiel. He looked up to see Micheal.

"Wait!" He screamed at their mother, pushing his brother aside and sprinting out to the car, "Wait! Mom, please! Wait!" He chased her to the end of the driveway. He would have chased her the end of the street maybe, if he wasn't barefoot. When the car disappeared from view down the street Micheal spun back around and glared at Castiel.

"Why didn't you stop her?" He screamed. His voice echoed around the neighborhood, bouncing off the quiet houses still housing sleeping families.

"I..." Castiels voice caught in his throat. He wasn't able to finish. He spun on his heel to run back inside the warm house and ran right into Lucifers chest. Anna was beside him.

"Get out of the way, Castiel!" She screeched, "Move it!"

Lucifer practically threw him into the wall in a hurry to get outside to Micheal.

Once they had gone Castiel rubbed his face with his shirt sleeve. Slowly padding towards the staircase where Gabriel was standing at the bottom step with his arms hooked around the banister. He was leaning to the side slightly. As though he was trying to peer outside the front door without actually having to move. Castiel took a step on the stair case and Gabriel asked in his smallest voice, "Is she really gone?"

"Yes."

Gabriel went very quiet. The quietest Castiel had ever seen him be. His face turned twisted, and Castiel thought perhaps he was trying his best to not cry in front of his little brother. He glared at the open porch and hissed, "Good riddance." before storming back upstairs where the slam of his bedroom door rang around the house.

He checked on Samandriel before going into his room. His younger brother was still sleeping peacefully. A part of him was glad, while another part of him was slightly jealous. He wished that Samandriel could just sleep for the rest of his life in order to not find out about what just happened. He didn't want to be there when someone told him about what had just taken place. Castiel was afraid it would kill him.

He fell onto his bed and cried until Lucifer came in and told him to grow a pair, crying wasn't going to get their mother back. But he was crying too.

"...Dad didn't come out of his office all day. We all brought him food later in the day just so he wouldn't starve himself. It was a terrible day. It was even worse the next morning when I woke up and it wasn't a dream like I wanted it to be. They had been fighting a lot the weeks leading up to her leaving. She had threatened it a few times before, but I never...I never actually believed she'd go through with it."

"Jesus Christ." Dean breathed, "Cas...Cas I..."

"It's fine." He said, staring hard at the grains of cold sand. His voice felt as cold and trembly as his body did. "You're the first person who's asked about her. I needed to talk about it. Thank you."

"Well...uh...anytime, buddy. I guess." Dean laughed awkwardly, and when Castiel didn't laugh too he went quiet. He reached over to place his hand on Castiels shoulder. His fingers tightened around it to give it a squeeze. Cas met his gaze and they both smiled, small, friendly smiles.

"I thought you said you didn't do chick flick moments?"
"I'll make an exception this once. Just for you."
"Well, I must be pretty special then, huh?"

Deans hand fell from his shoulder, wrapping around the rusty chain of the swing. Dean smiled again, but it was different now. "Yeah," he said, "you're pretty special, Cas." He then backed up along the sand and pushed off to start swinging again. Cas did the same.

They had a contest to see who could swing the highest. They were pumping their legs so hard the swing set began to shake, and the two laughed so hard Castiel almost fell off. Dean then asked him if he would like to go home yet. Castiel shrugged.

"I don't care. Do you want to stay the night?"
"Won't your dad get mad? You are supposed to be grounded."
"Oh, yeah," Castiel dug the heels of his feet into the sand to slow himself down, "I forgot."

Dean chuckled at him.

"Well, I'm sure he won't mind if I say you just needed a place to stay again. We just won't mention that I snuck out. No one should be the wiser."

Dean gave him a thumbs up, "Sounds cool by me." With another pump of his legs Dean jumped off the swing and landed on the sand with only a slight stumble to catch himself. He struck a gymnastics pose; throwing both hands in the air and bowing to an imaginary audience.

"Bennys right. You are a show off." Castiel scoffed.

"Shut up, Cas."

A clap of thunder sounded above their heads and they both craned their necks towards the sky to look at the dark swirling clouds laden with rain. A drop of water bounced off the tip of Castiels nose, and he scrunched his face from the touch. Another drop of rain fell. Landing on the sand surrounding the swing set. Another fell. Then another. And another. Soon Dean and Castiel were being ambushed by rain drops. Dean held his arms up over his head and laughed while Castiel scrambled out of the swing he had been sitting on.

"Well, I guess we should be gettin' home now, huh?" He said to Castiel.

They ran to the car with the rain hammering the ground and the tops of their heads. By the time they were inside the Impala they were drenched. Their clothes were sticking to their skin and their hair was dripping with water, flat against their foreheads. Dean was still laughing to himself out of spite as he started the car.

Castiel leaned back against the leather seats and said, "Dean."

"Yeah?"

He squinted open his eyes to give a sideways glance over to Dean who was staring at him with his lips just beginning to creep up into an open mouthed smirk. Castiel smiled blissfully back.

"Thank you." he said.

"Anytime, buddy."


Dean pulled the Impala up alongside the curb by the driveway. He turned the car off, and he and Castiel got out. The rain had died down some but it was still sprinkling. The sidewalk was slippery and wet, and when they walked on the grass it tickled Castiels ankles with soaked blades. Cas lead him to the side of the house and climbed up the fence towards his open bedroom window. Dean followed behind him.

Castiel was able to wedge the window open some, and then squirm through the opening, landing on his hands on the other side. The floor was a bit wet from having the window open during the rain, but it wasn't drenched. He grabbed the nearest tshirt he could find and quickly moped up the water. He then got up off the floor, double checking that Samandriel and Gabriel were still sound asleep before pulling the window open all the way to help Dean through.

"Thanks." Dean whispered once he was inside.

"No problem," Castiel smiled, "want to barrow my pajamas?"

"Sure."

Castiel went through his still unpacked suitcase and found a pair of clean pajamas for Dean to barrow. He handed them to him and Dean made a funny face.

"What?" He asked.

"Dude? Rocket ships?"
"Would you rather they be dinosaurs?" Castiel held up another pair, causing Dean to choke on a laugh.

"No, no, it's fine." Dean striped himself of his jeans and shoes as Castiel busied himself with doing the same. He didn't look over at Dean until he thought for sure he was finished changing. "You want me to sleep on the couch again?"

"No." The word fell out of Castiels mouth before he had even really thought about it. He was surprised at himself.

He had thought countlessly about the feeling of Dean sleeping next to him in bed. He thought of warm skin and soft kisses. The feeling of security and just the feeling of someone next to him that cared about him. He wanted to feel that. But if he told all this to Dean now, he would with out a doubt think that it was inappropriate and possibly want to leave. Castiel wanted to take his word back.

"I-I mean-" his face felt hot.

"You want me to sleep in your bed with you?" Dean asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Well-only if-only if you want to. I just thought that...the couch can't be all that comfortable. It probably hurts your back. And you are my guest so you should be comfortable. I'm sorry, is sharing a bed inappropriate?"

Dean chuckled softly, "Nah, man it's fine. The last time I shared a bed at a sleepover I was like eleven. It's cool, dude. Let's sleep together." He then laughed at himself, and Castiel couldn't stop giggling.

Dean got into his bed first and then Castiel slid in next to him. Dean was very warm. He could feel his warmth radiating on his face. Deans back faced his front, and Castiel had to force his hands to not reach out and wrap around Dean to hold him. He pressed his face into the pillow, and squeezed his eyes shut. They burned with the desire for sleep. He hadn't even realized how tired he was until now.

"Cas." Dean yawned.

"Hmmm?"
"Did you have fun?"
"Yes, I did. Did you have fun, Dean?"
"Course I did."

"...Dean..." He whispered.

"Yeah?"

"You're my best friend."

Dean laughed softly and said, "Go to sleep, Cas."


Castiel awoke from a groggy sleep to an empty bedroom and an even emptier bed.

He sat himself up on his elbows and looked frantically around for some sort of sign of Dean. He really hoped that last night wasn't really a dream. It had all felt too real to possibly be a dream. The empty spot in his bed felt cold and it left an aching feeling in his heart.

Just as Cas was starting to accept that it had all been a silly dream, a flicker of light sparked in his eyes. He spotted Deans boots sitting neatly under the nightstand as though they had always been there. They were sitting up next to each other very neatly, so it wouldn't cause more clutter in the room. And Deans white socks were bounded together and stuffed into the top of one boot. Castiel smiled, scrambling out of bed. Dean was probably already downstairs eating breakfast with Gabriel and Samandriel.

He skidded to a stop when he saw his elder siblings lined up outside of the bathroom door. Gabriel stood in the front, his arms laden with his hair care products and towels. He was glaring at the door with a permanent crease across his forehead. Micheal and Anna stood behind him, waiting just as impatiently as Gabriel was.

Gabriel pounded on the door hard, "Who's ever in there, will you hurry the hell up! It's been like an hour already! Save some water for the fishes will yeah?!"

"What are you yelling about?" Castiel piped up, walking up to them. They all turned their heads at the sound of his voice with surprised expressions.

"Well, it's not Cas." Said Anna.

"I told you it wasn't," snapped Gabriel, "he was still sleeping when I got up this morning."

"And it isn't Lucifer," said Micheal, "he was using the downstairs bathroom."

"It must be Samandriel then!" Gabriel exclaimed, "That brat! I'm going to piss down his throat when he gets out of there!" He started pounding on the door again, "Samandriel! Samandriel get your ass out here! You've been in there long enough! I swear if theres no warm water left I'll-"

"What are you yelling at me for?" Samandriel walked up the stairs slowly, yawning and rubbing his eyes., "I wasn't even doing anythin'."

Micheal, Anna, and Gabriel all looked to each other and then back to the bathroom door. Gabriel pointed a finger to himself, to Micheal, to Anna, to Castiel, Samandriel, and then counted another one off for Lucifer. He mouthed the numbers off as he went, counting six. He looked up at Micheal with a puzzled expression.

"Where were you?" asked Micheal.

"I slept in Dads room last night," he said, his voice still heavy with sleep, "I got scared from the storm so I slept on the floor."

"Dads at the store." Anna answered the question that wasn't asked.

Gabriel looked back to the door. "Then who the fuck-" he started pounding on the door again. He was hitting it so hard Castiel thought for a moment he was going to punch a hole through it. "Hey! Hey! Who the hell is in there?!"

They heard the water shut off and the shower curtain being pulled to the side. A pair of feet slapped against the tile, and when the door was finally jerked open, a cloud of steam whooshed out to great the Shurleys. Dean stood in the doorway. His hair was wrapped in a yellow towel on top of his head, and a white robe clothing him. The belt tied around his middle in a knot.

"Well, good morning to you too!" He beamed at them all, "man,you guys have the best shower! That water pressure man," he whistled, "it's awesome. Sorry I didn't ask. But you all were still sleeping when I got up, and I smelled bad. I needed some Dean time."

After one look at Dean, Micheal whipped his head around to glare at Castiel. His gaze making Castiel feel very small. "You're not supposed to have your friends over, Castiel." He said.

"Er-" Cas stumbled over his words, trying to think of a good answer to give Micheal for Deans presence when he had been grounded only the day before, and forbidden to see any of his friends until his father gave him permission. His tongue felt dry and heavy with the words of a lie crossing his brain. Dean spoke for him.

"Hey," he snapped playfully, "Samandriels my friend. Right, Alfie?"

Samandriels face lit up at the mention of being Deans friend and he nodded eagerly, "Yes! Yes, Dean is my friend!"

"So, maybe Cas didn't invite me over. Maybe Alfie did. I'm friends with them both. Whats the problem?"

Micheal frowned at him and snorted, "I highly doubt that was the case."

"And what exactly are you gonna do about it, then?" Dean raised his eyebrows, and gave Micheal a fake smirk.

Castiels oldest brother just huffed aggressively out of his nose, and didn't respond.

Anna suddenly gasped, striding up to Dean and grabbing his wrist to hold up his arm. She looked at the robe sleeve and then into his eyes. "This is my robe." she hissed.

"Heh...sorry. You can have it back-"

"Just-keep it." Anna rolled her eyes and pushed past her brothers to get into the bathroom.

"Hey!" Barked Gabriel, "I was next! I've been waiting longer than you have, Anael!"

"Well then, you can wait a little longer." She retorted. Gabriel started spitting curses at her through the door.

Dean turned his heel to begin striding back to Castiels room, his hands in the robe pockets and Samandriel sprinting to catch up with him. "I think you made them mad, Dean." Samandriel said.

"Yeah?" said Dean.

"I don't think Micheal likes you very much."

Dean laughed as he turned into Castiels bedroom. He placed both of his hands on top of the towel wrapped around his head and leaned over to scratch the fabric against his hair. "Well, I don't think I like him very much either. He walks around with a stick up his ass. Don't he, Cas?"

Castiel shrugged.

"Lucifer doesn't like you either," Samandriel continued, sitting on the edge of his bed, "he told me that you were a-a-uh...a dumb dirty dil-dil-delinquent."

Dean laughed again, "Aw, shucks," he looked over his shoulder at Castiel, smiling a fake sort of cocking smile, "your brothers sure do know how to flatter a guy, huh, Cas?"

Castiel was practically fuming. He hated that Lucifer and Micheal were talking about Dean behind his back. They didn't even know Dean they didn't have any right to-

Castiels nails were pinching into his palms, turning them into blisters of white. Lucifer was such a hypocrite. He thought he was better than Dean just because Chuck hadn't left him at some home for boys when he was sixteen (not to mention no one knew if that rumor was true, they were all just going by Raphaels word). Lucifer was just as 'bad' as Dean was. What made him so much better than Dean? Because their mother left he had some kind of excuse to act the way he did? Maybe Dean has his reasons too. Castiels insides were bubbling with fury at the thought of how he had finally gotten a friend and his family hated having this friend around. Dean hadn't even done anything to them, they were all just so-

"Cas, are you okay?" Dean was looking at him with a worried expression written all over his face. He and Samandriel were both staring at him. He hadn't realized that had been standing practically livid on the spot for five minutes without responding to Dean. His face must have had looked furious.

"I'm fine." He shook his head, letting the expression fall away, "I was just...thinking."

Dean looked from Cas to Samandriel and said, "Hey, Alfie, can you give me an' Cas a minute?"

"Okay." He hopped off his bed and headed to leave out the door but stopped himself, spinning around on his heel and saying, "don't I get to come to your house tomorrow? I get to play with Adam tomorrow, right?"

"What? Oh-oh, yeah, sure, kid. You'll play with Adam tomorrow."
"Okay. See you later!" He hurried out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"Whats the matter?" Dean asked at once. He didn't even wait to make sure that Samandriels footsteps had left, to make sure that he wasn't actually just listening outside the door. He was more worried about Castiel.

"Nothing." He replied, "you should get changed. I'll wait outside, and make you breakfast if you'd-"

"Don't change the subject, Cas," Dean took two strides and he was suddenly in front of him. His body still radiating with warmth, and he smelled like sweet shampoo from the shower, "whats got your shorts all in a twist?"

Castiel turned his gaze away from him, glaring at the dirty clothes laying haphazardly all over the bedroom floor. The bubbles of anger towards his brothers was simmering down but the heat was still there.

"Is it something about your older brothers?" asked Dean, "'cause, Cas, I really don't give two shits about what they say about me. They can say whatever the hell they like! It's not my problem, they're not my friends."

"They don't know you, Dean." He replied softly, still not turning his gaze back, "they're hypocrites and have no right to be saying anything like that. They're not anything special."

"Cas-"
"I bet it's just because of the other day. When I didn't bring my phone with me and they didn't know where I was-"
"Wait Cas! You didn't tell me about that!"

Castiel ignored him and continued ranting, "They probably think you're turning me into something bad. A rebel or something. But you're not. You're just being a good friend, Dean. They have no room to talk. Especially Lucifer. He was caught shoplifting a few months ago, and he's pranked more people than I can count. I don't understand why he doesn't like you. You should be his friend not mine. Just because Raphael said that you're dad sent you off to some home for boys when you got caught doesn't make him any better than-"

"What." Deans growl finally made Castiel freeze. His eyes flicked back to his friends face to see that the calm forest green eyes had turned hard and menacing like an alligators. "What did Raphael tell them."

Cas wet his lips nervously. "I don't believe it, Dean. I don't. I thought it was a rumor the whole time-"

"Just tell me what he said." He growled again.

Cas told him.
Dean didn't seem too happy with the answer. "That son of a..." His fist clenched tightly into a ball, turning on his heel so his back faced Castiel instead. "Son of a bitch!"

"Dean..."

"What." He barked at the wall.

"It's...it's nothing to be upset about-"
He forced a fake laugh, "You know, Cas...that's real cute of you to think that way. That all of that was a dumb rumor. Real cute. Well, it's fuckin' real. It happened. I stole some bread and peanut butter for me and Sammy last year at the store because I lost all our money for food and Sammy was hungry. I can't get away with fuckin' anything though, so the cops took me and called my dad and he told them that they could keep me. Father of the fuckin' year am I right?"

Castiel blinked, horrified that Mr. Winchester had actually done such a thing to his son. He hadn't even wanted to hear Deans reason for taking the bread and peanut butter, he had just wanted Dean in jail. It made a sick rotten feeling ache in his core.

"H-how long were you-"

"Three months. After three months he finally came around and picked me up. He didn't tell Sam anything about it and I sure as hell didn't tell anyone about it until just now, so I don't know why the hell Raphael is runnin' his mouth about it."

"Dean..." was all he could say.

He looked as though he were about to hit something. His hand was clenched into a tight ball, and he wouldn't turn around to face his friend. "It's fine." he said hardly.

Cas couldn't find any of the right words to say to Dean. His mind was drawing a blank, and he simply stood there like a dumbfounded rabbit in a feild. Which is why when Dean announced that he was going to change back into his clothes, Castiel left without another word.

He went downstairs to make breakfast. He wasn't very good at cooking exactly, but he could make simple things. Like bagels and cereal. Just nothing on the oven, if it didn't have anything to do with the stove or the oven he could cook anything.

Castiel plucked two bagels out of the bag for him and Dean. He placed them in their fancy four hole toaster and pulled the lever down for them to cook. He then got out the cream cheese, and juice for them. By the time he was smearing the cream cheese over the bagels Dean was coming downstairs. He spotted Cas in the kitchen and went to sit on the stool.

"You think I should head out before your dad gets back?"

"You don't have to," said Castiel, pushing a glass of orange juice and the bagel he had made towards Dean, "my siblings will tell on me anyways. It's not like it'll be a secret. But if you have someplace to be..."

"You think your dad will still let Samandriel and Adam play together tomorrow?" Dean took a large bite out of the bagel, getting cream cheese smeared all over his mouth.

Castiel smirked at him, and rolled his shoulder. "I don't know," he said, "I hope so. Maybe he'll un-ground me. I'm not exactly one to cause a lot of trouble."

Dean chuckled, "Yeah, Cas, maybe I am turning you into a rebel. You're sneakin' out, gettin' grounded, breakin' rules. You're practically a part of the club now."

"Should I sign up for my leather jacket now, or do I get it at the door?"

Dean laughed, and shook his head.

They fell into a comfortable silence as they chewed their food and drank out of their cups of juice. They didn't get the chance to speak again, for Castiels father returned before they got the chance to.

When the front door opened Samandriel was the first to greet their father, and the second words out of his mouth were, "Daddy! Dean came over again!"

Chuck didn't respond to his son. Instead he bee lined for the stairs to probably go up to Castiels room, but before he went up he spotted Dean and Cas standing in the kitchen.

"I should probably go," Dean said quietly, "see you later?"

Castiel nodded, "Goodbye, Dean."

"Bye."

Dean got up from the stool and hurried out of the kitchen, giving a small wave to Mr. Shurley and rubbing the palm of his hand on top of Samandriels hair, saying, "See ya, kid." Castiel heard the front door shut, and Dean was gone. He suddenly felt empty with the absence of Dean, and he wished that he hadn't gone. He didn't particularly like saying goodbye to Dean.

Chuck walked up to Castiel in the kitchen, frowning darkly.

"Castiel..."

"I know..." He sighed, "I wasn't supposed to hang out with my friends...but...Dean he-he had to come over."

Chucks eyebrows furrowed over his glasses, "What do you mean, Castiel? He had to come over?"

"Yes."
"No...Cas-what do you mean?"
"He-he couldn't go back home."
"So he came here again?"
"Yes."
"Why couldn't he go home?"
"Be-because..."

Castiel fidgeted, playing with his fingers absentmindedly as he spoke. His brain was whirring with excuses, but Castiel couldn't seem to manage to find a believable one. Gabriel was right he wasn't very good at lying at all.

"Castiel..." Chuck took a step forward to place a hand on his sons shoulder, trying to meet his gaze, "is there something going on that I should know about?"

"No."

"Are you sure? You can trust me, buddy."

Castiel debated for a moment about if he should tell his father the truth. If he did, they could help Sam and Dean and Adam. His father could do something about how John treated his boys, and Castiel wouldn't have to worry about his friends so much anymore. But he had promised Dean he wouldn't tell. Adam would most likely be able to stay with his mother, but where would Sam and Dean go? They didn't have anyone else besides each other it seemed. He didn't have to heart to tear Sam away from his older brother. Sam and Adam were better off with Dean than they were if they were all separated.

"Everything's all right." He said hollowly, trying to hold back any expressions that might give him away, "Dean just needs to get away sometimes is all. He likes staying here with me. It's comfortable for him."

Chuck made that face again, like he knew Cas was lying to him but wasn't sure how he was going to call him out on it. He patted Castiels shoulder and said softly, "Okay." He straightened back up and turned to pick up his groceries he had left on the floor in the living room.

"Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"Can...can I be un-grounded now?"

Chuck turned to look over his shoulder, sighing, "Castiel..."

"I apologize for the way I acted yesterday," Cas continued, "I was stupid. I don't have any right to act like that, and I'm sorry, Dad."

Chuck gave him a tired understanding smile. "All right. You can be un-grounded. Just because it's summer, and I know you're a good kid."

Cas beamed at him, scampering up to him to wrap his arms around him in a hug, "Thank you, Dad."

"Yeah, yeah," Chuck ruffled his hair, "now get out of here. Go...read a book or whatever it is you do. Go on!"

Castiel gave him one last smile before running back upstairs into his room to text Dean on his phone and tell him that Samandriel and him could come over tomorrow.

He couldn't wait to be able to go to Deans house. He would actually be able to see what it was like inside. He would get to get another taste of what Deans life was like. His heart pounded happily inside his chest as he laid on his bed and went to his messages to text Dean. He really liked spending time with Dean, and at the moment he actually missed having his company. He didn't like the feeling he had in his chest when it was time for Dean to leave.

He didn't want to imagine how bad that feeling will be when he leaves for Illinois in August.


Castiel held onto Samandriels hand the entire way to the Winchesters house. He remembered the way Balthazar had showed him, and what street they lived on. If his cousin were here with them he would be laughing in Castiels face saying "I told you so. I told you you would have needed to know the way eventually." Castiel didn't want to give him that satisfaction.

Once they were on the front porch Castiel balled up his fist and ratted on the door. Bones answered them with his deep loud barks and his nails clicking on the floor.

"I'm coming!" Deans voice called from inside. They could hear his feet shuffling across the house to the door as he hurried to answer them. The door was thrown open and Deans beaming smile greeted them from behind the screen. "Hey, Cas! Hey, Alfie!"

"Hi, Dean!" Samandriel said happily, "I'm here to play!"

"Great. Let's go see Adam then, c'mon." Dean opened the screen door for them, and they stepped inside the Winchesters house.

It was only one floor, not counting the small basement. There was one bathroom and two bedrooms. Sam, Dean, and Adam all shared one room and their father had his own. There was a kitchen with yellow walls and a clean sink, and a living room with a small television and a couch and chairs surrounding a coffee table. A desk with a computer sat against the wall as a small study. Adams toys were laying all over the place. There seemed to be baskets sitting against the wall in the living room for Adam to keep these toys in, but none of them didn't seem to occupy their home.

Sam was sitting at the desk with the computer. After Bones greeted their guests he trotted off to Sam and pushed his way in to sit in the cubby hole under the desk at Sams feet. When Sam heard Castiel and Samandriel come in he turned and his face lit up. "Hey, guys." He said, spinning in the wheely chair.

"Hello, Sam."
"Hi, Sam! I like your dog. He's cute."

"Thanks," he bent down to scratch Bones on top of his furry head, and the dog leaned against his touch gratefully, "my dad said I could keep him as long as he's not too much trouble. He's been a good boy, haven't you Bones?"

The dog yawned and placed his head in between its paws.

"Bean!" Came the voice Castiel had heard over the phone the other night, "Bean are they here yet?"

"They're here, Adam," Dean called back, "come out here and say hi."

"He calls you Bean?" Castiel grinned, trying his best to suppress a laugh.

"Heh, yeah," Dean rubbed the back of his neck, "he started calling me that when he was learning to talk. Now it just kind stuck I guess."

"It's adorable."

The tips of Deans ears turned slightly pink, and Castiel didn't have enough time to admire the way his freckles stood out when he blushed like this because a little boy at the age of six came scampering out of the bedroom.

He was sporting two missing teeth, and round gray-blue eyes. His ears stuck out a bit, like they were two sizes too big for the rest of his body. His blonde hair was short and feathery. It looked almost like a ducklings down.

"Guys, this is Adam," Dean introduced, gesturing to his little brother. At the sight of new people Adam shyly ducked to his big brothers side, and clung to his hand, "don't be like that, say hi, buddy."

"Hi." Adam said softly, only letting Samandriel and Castiel see half of his face.

"This is Samandriel and Castiel. Remember, you talked to Cas on the phone?"

Adam nodded, "I remember."

Cas bent down slightly and offered his hand out to the six year old, "Hello, Adam. It's nice to meet you."

Adam looked at his hand as though it were holding a snake. He looked back up at Cas' face and said, "Hello, Cas..." He said quietly, raising his small hand to take Castiels.

"Say hi, Samandriel." Castiel encouraged his brother. Samandriel had suddenly turned shy as well.

"Hello." He said.

"Hi." Adam repeated.

They stood in awkward silence for a moment. Adam was too shy to speak, and Samandriel wasn't sure what to say. He hugged his backpack full of toys to his chest and looked up to Castiel for help. It was Dean who spoke though.

"Well don't just stand there, show him our room or something. You've got tons of toys in there I'm sure you two can find something to keep ya busy."

Adam nodded at his older brother and finally took a step out from under the protection of Dean. "I'll show you my room, Alfie," he said, "It's over here."

Samandriel didn't hesitate to follow Adam into the bedroom just behind where Sam was sitting on the computer.

"Did you eat breakfast?" Dean asked him, turning towards the kitchen.

"It's ten thirty, Dean."

"Yeah, so?" He walked over to the cupboards, and looked through the cereal boxes lined up on the shelf, "I like to have a late breakfast. You want something to eat or no?"

Cas rolled his shoulder, "I can eat."

Dean got out two bowls and set the box of Lucky Charms on the counter. He poured a generous amount into each bowl and then got out the milk. He set one bowl in front of Castiel, and another in front of himself, digging the spoon into the bowl and shoving it into his mouth.

"Where's your father?" Castiel asked, looking down at the cereal and marshmallows.

"Work," Dean answered thickly, "always workin'."

"He never seems to be at home. At least, he doesn't seem to be home a lot."
"He isn't. He's like a friggen work-a-holic. Not only that, he's also an alcoholic. So when he isn't working he's drinking, and when he isn't drinking he's working."
"You're not worried about him? How he's never around?"
"Hell no. The less time he spends around Sammy and Adam the better."

Dean tilted his head back as he put the bowl to his lips and drank out all the milk before putting his dishes in the sink. He asked Castiel if he was done eating, and he nodded. He took his bowl also and put it in the sink.

They went out into the living room and Dean invited him to sit on the couch. Bones squirmed out from under Sams feet to say hello to Castiel again. When Cas scratched him behind the ears the dog placed his head in his lap, begging to be petted again.

"So you're allowed to keep Bones?" Castiel asked, obliging to Bones' pleading eyes.

"Yea, unfortunately." Dean rolled his eyes, but Castiel noticed that Dean had developed a sort of soft spot for the dog. He didn't exactly like touching Bones, but he didn't seem to mind when Bones licked at his fingers. He even sort of smiled. When he noticed that Castiel had seen this the smile vanished and he cleared his throat, "Hey, uh, Sammy, isn't it time for you to take this dog on a walk?"

Sam turned around in his chair to give him a puzzled look, raising one eyebrow in question.

Dean seemed to have been able to read Sams mind because he glared at his brother and said, "You little pervert. That's not what I'm sayin'. Just take your friggen dog for a walk will ya?"

Sam raised his hands in defense and got up from the computer, grabbing a leash off of the coffee table. "Okay, okay. I didn't say anything, jerk. C'mere, Bones, here boy." Bones trotted up to Sam and he hooked the leash onto his collar. "I'll be back later." He said, as though he was reminding Dean that he wouldn't be gone for long. His brother just frowned at him.

Castiel watched Sam and Bones leave out the front door and from the window he could see them walking off down the sidewalk. Sam was still trying to peer inside the house, and when he noticed Cas was watching him he waved. Castiel turned back around once they were out of sight.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Nothin'," said Dean, turning on the television, "Sammys just bein' a pain in the ass."

Castiel turned towards the TV screen to see that Dean had turned on Cartoon Network. An hours worth of Looney Tunes was starting to come to its last few cartoons. Dean slumped back against the couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table. Castiel watched him. He found it interesting how comfortable Dean was everywhere he went, whether it was his own home, or Castiels.

He also noticed how different they were, yet they were so alike. Dean and him were practically opposites. Dean grew up on one side of the tracks while Castiel grew up on the other, and yet somehow they had become friends. Why did Dean want to be his friend anyway? He couldn't wrap his head around it.

Dean noticed Castiel looking at him and he frowned, "What?"

"Dean. Why do you like me?"

"What?" he repeated, the crease on his forehead furrowing.

"Why are you friends with me? You're friends with Benny and Balthazar, and they're nothing like me. Why me?"

"Ah, Cas," Dean sighed, running his hand over his face, and sitting up, "what is it with you and this kinda crap..."

Castiel cocked his head to the side and squinted, "What do you mean?"

"You're always pokin' at my feelings and shit like that," he chuckled lightly, "always askin' questions about myself. Whats up with that, man?"

Castiel shrugged. "You're my friend, Dean. Isn't that what friends do?"

"Well...yeah, kinda I guess. But Bennys never asked me why I liked him before."
"He hasn't?"
"No. We don't really do any of that...sissy crap."
"Oh."

Castiel turned back towards the television and stared blankly at the Road Runner cartoon playing on the screen. They watched the cartoon. Neither of them speaking again until just before Porky Pig was due to show up on the screen to tell them 'thats all folks!'

Once the theme song was playing Dean turned to Castiel and said, "You really wanna know why I like you?" he didn't wait for Cas to answer, "I like you 'cause I can talk to you about anything. There I said it. I like talking with you about all that sissy crap I can't talk about with Benny. I don't know what it is about you, Cas, but I just can't help but wanna be around you all the time. You're like...I don't know...you're like six different kinds of weird, Cas."

Castiel huffed a sarcastic, "Thanks."

"No, no, no, but like...a good weird, ya know? You're from this conservative private Catholic school, and you come down here and meet me, and you think of me as your best friend. That's what has me confused," He laughed, "I thought when I told you I was bi you would have tried to exorcise me or something, but you didn't. You just kept coming back to me. Everything thats happened since you got here...I kept thinking that 'this time it'll be it. This time he won't want me around anymore.' But you kept comin' back, you kept wanting to hang out with me for some ungodly reason. I don't know...you're just...a good guy, Cas. A good...weird, dorky, little guy."

Castiel stared at him for a long time. Pondering on Deans words, having them roll around in his brain so he could really think about them and what they meant. His heart sort of fluttered in his chest at the mention of Dean being bisexual. He hadn't really been thinking about Deans sexuality; he was just Dean. It hadn't really mattered to him what Dean was attracted to. But now that Castiel was reminded of it, he seemed to realize that there was still a strong possiblity that Dean could like him the same way Castiel liked him. He seemed to have forgotten about his cousins words from the other day when he told him that he knew someone around here had a crush on Cas. He was almost certain it was Dean now, but did Dean still feel the same way he had felt almost a week ago now? Or did his feelings change to nothing more than platonic friendship when he found out that Castiel was a 'conservative private Catholic school go-er'? Perhaps he no longer liked Castiel in that way because he thought he could never return the feelings.

It was all making Castiels heart sting rather painfully.

His eyebrows were still furrowed in a puzzled squint as his train of thought reared back to Dean sitting next to him on the couch. He said a little unsurely, "Thank you..."

"Thats all you gotta say?"

He rolled his shoulders. "I'm appreciative that you feel comfortable around me enough to talk about your-uh-sissy crap...and I'm glad to have you as a friend. The feeling is-uh-mutual."

Dean frowned at him, "C'mon, Cas, I just poured more of my heart out to you than I ever have to anyone-"

"Thats kinda sad."
"Shut it, or I may just take it back. Anyway-just...just tell me what you like about me. What makes me so great that I'm your best friend, huh? I'm sure your friends you have back home are nothing like me, so why me?"

Castiel blinked.

He wanted him to tell him what he liked about him? Where could he begin? With the way his eyelashes gleamed blonde in the sunlight, or the way his freckles reminded him of the constellations in the sky Naomi had showed him? Should he tell him how he liked the way his green eyes resembled the moss on the trees in the forest that held memories of his childhood summers? Or how he liked the way his lips curved when he smiled? Perhaps he should tell him how he liked how funny he was, and how protective, and loyal, and brave he was. Or should he say how he liked how well he treated kids? Or how he also felt that he could share anything with Dean, how he could trust him, how he too wanted to be around him all the time.

Instead he said, "You were the only one who's nice to me. And didn't treat me like an inconvenience."

Dean straightened up and dropped his shoulders, his eyebrows raising in surprise. He opened his mouth to say something but Castiel didn't let him. He didn't look at Dean either, he looked at the television now playing an episode of Scooby Doo.

"I wasn't good at making friends back home, Dean. I've only had one close friend my entire life, and we went to different high schools after Saint James. I don't have any friends. The only people I talked to were lab partners, and assigned partners for group projects. But as soon as the project was done with they would treat me as though we had never met. A lot of the jocks hated me because I was related to Gabriel, and they are his favorite victims for pranks. So them, and their friends all hated me. They were never nice to me. Even if we were teamed up as partners." He turned towards his friend, twiddling with his fingers in his lap, and tugging on the bottom of his tshirt. "But you were nice to me. You've always been nice to me. And I will always be grateful for that. That's why you are my best friend."

Dean was at a loss for words.

"Gee...uh...Cas..." he ran his palms up and down his legs and shook his head in what seemed like disbelief, "I...that uh...I don't really know what to say. I-I can't believe no ones ever really been nice to you. You're the nicest kid I know."

Cas half-smirked at him. "I don't mind it. I don't need many friends. I'm perfectly content with what I have as of now. I have you, and Sam, and my family. Who else is there?"

Dean didn't reply. He had an expression mixed between pity and anger on his face. Castiel didn't want him to pity him, he was being honest when he said he didn't need many people around him to be happy.

He half wished he could tell Dean all those other things he liked about him, but he wasn't sure if Dean could return those feelings now. They were having a good friendship as of now, and Castiel didn't want to do anything that would ruin it. He wanted to keep Dean in his life for as long as possible, he didn't care if it meant that he would have to suppress his feelings. He just wanted to be with Dean. Maybe one day he would come clean and tell Dean that he was gay, and that he liked him in a way that was definitely not platonic, but he felt wrong coming to Dean first before he came to Gabriel.

He and Gabriel told each other everything. They always came to each other before anyone else, and Castiel would feel wrong for telling Dean before telling his brother. It would feel like breaking some sacred law between them.

Which is why instead of telling Dean everything else whirring through his mind like a tornado, they sat in a comfortable silence, watching cartoons until Adam and Samandriel came out to tell them they wanted lunch.


Castiel was curious. He knew he was gay, and he knew he liked Dean. But he wasn't completely sure how-he couldn't even find the right words to word it. He wasn't sure how it worked to put it frankly. If he were to ever be so lucky to be in a relationship with Dean, (or for any other boy for that matter but at the moment his brain and heart were focused on Dean) he didn't want to go into it completely ignorant to practically everything. Castiel had never even kissed anyone besides family members before. He knew next to nothing about kissing and sex. Not to mention gay sex.

He knew the basics of reproduction between a male and female, but from what he heard in the hallways of his public school there seemed to be more than just one way to get pleasure and intimate with your partner. He was still hazy on that subject. But in the matters of homosexual sex he didn't even know where to begin his questions.

How exactly is it enjoyable? If it was anything like his fantasy in the shower he could see how that could be pleasurable, but was there something more he was missing? He felt as though that didn't exactly classify as sex. He felt that there was something more to gay sex that he just wasn't putting together.

He wracked his brains in search of another way of how gay sex could possibly work, but he couldn't come up with an idea. He wasn't even sure if his first idea was actually a way, for all he knew that wasn't even a thing that anyone did.

He decided that in order to get these answers he would need to start asking. But who would he ask? Balthazar? No. He didn't want to ask him. Balthazar would with out a doubt spend the first ten minutes laughing his ass off before answering anything Castiel had to ask. He would then run his mouth to anyone willing to listen. He wasn't about to ask Dean either, he hadn't even told his family that he was gay yet, and coming to Dean with these questions seemed awkward and inappropriate.

He knew in his heart that there was only one person he could really confine in and trust to go to with these questions. There was only one person in his family that he knew he could come out to with confidence that they would not tell, and would do their best to help and answer all he had to ask. Even if it was in their own unique way.

That was Gabriel.

The closer Castiel got to their bedroom the harder his heart beat against his chest. It felt like it had been replaced with a sack of sand, and the contents were rattling inside of him heavily. He stood in the doorway, watching Gabriel laying on his bed with his headphones lodged into his skull, and Samandriel mumbling to himself as he played with his toys on the floor.

His mouth felt dry as he cleared his throat and said, "Samandriel,"

His little brother picked up his head.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course, Castiel!" He got to his feet instantly, "What is it?"

"Will you go outside for me and look for some bugs for my AP biology class? I'm supposed to collect them over the summer."
"Okay! I'll find a bunch for you, Cas!" Samandriels eyes were sparkling with excitement, and he hurriedly wheeled out of the room to go into the kitchen in search of a jar to collect the insects with.

Castiel took a deep breath and stared at Gabriel across from him, his brain spinning as he tried to figure out the right words to start the conversation. He decided he might as well just come out with it. He told himself that it would be like ripping off a band aid. He didn't really have anything to be afraid of after all; it was Gabriel. He trusted him.

He stared at his socks, and took another deep breath. Taking a step towards his brother.