Mel: Sorry we haven't updated in awhile...by the way how long is awhile for not updating? I mean I know I personally feel horrible after only like 2 days of no updates! Sad news I am suffering from writer's block! I mean its like there is this ball of something in my brain and it's like blocking off very important things from me, such as writing, words, sentence continuation, and some of my memories! I don't know what it is!!! Help ME! And another point to be made, RotK rocked...however they left a lot out which is understandable,

Ness- Bring back! Bring Back! Bring back Eowyn and Faramir's wedding to me to me. Movie kicked serious arse. Very tissue worthy. Rock on PJ!

Mel-I can't wait for the Extended Version it's going to be awesome! Yeah and the Captain Obvious statement of all time goes to the love of my life, Leggy! For the statement "a diversion" I felt so bad, because all you could do was laugh, he actually looked kind of proud of himself for that line, t'was quite scary.

Luth- O, who cares if he gets the stupidest lines in movies. Orli looks good when he makes a fool of himself!

Mel- I second that

WOOT! To Luth for this is her debut as a writer in the story!!!!!

Disclaimer: We own nothing at all, the glorious books belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. And the movies, along with Leggy's sad, sad lines belong to Peter Jackson, who even though he is a kiwi, therefore cool. He killed off Haldir! I mean you just cannot kill off the Sexy Marchwarden it's not RIGHT! Hear that PJ! HALDIR LIVES DAMNIT! HE LI-OWW! Nessa that hurt! Sorry...I'll stop ranting...

No elves were harmed in the making of this fic!

Mel: ::moping and looking downtrodden::

Luth: Awww, Mellypoo what's eating your goat?

Mel: I watched The Two Towers today, and Haldir died, AGAIN! Why does it happen every time!?

Ness: Maybe he didn't really die... Once the battle ended he was planning on sneaking up on Aragorn and going Bluuugyyybooo!

Luth: ...sure. To share in the sorrows of Mel, I also cried (once!) when I watched Haldir die. I have no idea what was wrong with me that day...

Mel: Nothing was wrong it was tragic! And wrong...supposedly it was to show the sacrifice of the elves or whatever, all it did was show me how incredibly hot an elf can look whilst dieing! Ahem right...on with the story

**

"If elves are immortal how come you're not an ickle wickle widdle babayh still leggypoo?" Mandi inquired.

"Milady, I do not feel inclined to discuss the lifespan of my people at the moment. The trees are singing a beautiful song."

However the poor spandex boy's tree song was interrupted by three voices singing,

"Still round the corner there may wait A new road or a secret gate, And though we pass them by today, Tomorrow we may comet his way And take the hidden paths that run Towards the Moon or to the Sun,"

"Beautiful voice m'dear Liz!" Merry chirped.

Liz blushed furiously while Sammie and Mandi snortled mercilessly. The Fellowship had set out from Rivendell but 2 days previously, after rigorous training in weaponry for the girls and the hobbits too, who were all equally unskilled in fighting. The two blonde girls were partial to taking bows in the shadow of their Elf princeling, where as Liz favored the long sword and a pair of daggers.

"I dunno if I like the idea of carrying this quiver on my back" Sammie said uneasily, "It makes nancing difficult, I fret I'll spill them..."

"There is a certain technique one must use to not shake the contents of the quiver..." Greenboy began, however Gimli interrupted,

"All the way to Mordor with these nancing fools? Oh the shame on my dwarven beard!"

"Listen buddy," Sam bristled, "you're not gonna have to worry about you're precious dwraven beard if you keep that up, savvy?"

Normally the dwarf would have retorted, but seeing as the blonde had a quiver of arrows and was brandishing a purple flyswatter, the only memento brought to middle earth from their previous world, he decided he like his beard and kept quiet.

**

The fellowship had decided to take a break and set up camp on a secluded, rocky hill. Everyone separated to do their own thing or in some cases, scheme.

"Mr. Frodo, I'm worried. Merry, Pippin, and the ladies have been so quiet this morning, I can hardly imagine what mischief they could be planning."

"I know what you mean Sam, it is rather unsettling. However, I do not think we are in any grave danger, ourselves. Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and Gandalf are the ones who should be on their guard."

**

"Mandi, we have to ask him! I mean we need to know one way or the other."

"I know, I know! But I mean Sam, what if he says yes? What are we going to do?"

"Well, there ARE many cliffs around us..."

"Alright that works, we can just hold him off of one until he changes his answer, no worries!"

"Right, so go on, ask him."

"ME!? No! you do it!"

"Fine, fine get the gravel, outta your hair! We'll do it together!"

"Ok...Sam...I'm scared."

"Me too, my little marshmallow...me too."

"Hey, Leggy-darling? Can we well, can we ask you a question..." Sam asked whilst making a picture in the dirt with her shoe.

"As long as it is not the one...I believe you asked, boxers or briefs. Then yes you may."

"Ok Mandi! Go right ahead and ask!" she said with a grin. Mandi scowled,

"You just wait...that flyswatter can be stolen and used against you, you little mealworm!"

"Ok Leggy, do you, well are you...are you gay?"

Liz, having overheard the whole conversation chose this convenient time to burst into squirrelish giggles at the priceless confusion on the prince's flawless face.

"My lady I am sorry I do not follow you."

"Alright Peter pan they want to know your preference." Liz said, trying to clarify the situation for Legolas. Seeing his still blank look she continued, "What team you bat for, umm what floats your boat, spandex or Cotton, something besides gold lies beyond the rainbow for you......do you prefer the boys?"

Quicker than One Minute rice, comprehension dawned upon the elf and with it a very prominent blush,

"My word! Is it normal for young ladies such as yourselves to talk about these matters so freely where you hail from? On second thought there is no need to answer that, as I can already guess. Well to answer your question, I prefer females and have no desire to change that decision." He replied, a little defensively.

"Thank God for that!" Mandi sighed with relief.

"Sorry Leggy-luv didn't mean to put you on the spot like that," Sam said as she threw her arms around him in a hug, much to the elf's annoyance. "But inquiring minds need to know. And now Liz can't tease you, the big mean, mean...meanie!" she finished, sticking out her tongue at the raven-haired girl.

"Ahh, I wouldn't be too sure aboot that m'dear. There's plenty more the princeling could be hiding. But if you'll excuse me I must go confer with me comrades, Aragorn is starting to let down his guard again. Who knew that our beloved ranger was scared of snakes?" So with a final cheeky grin at the three of them, she flew off to go talk to Merry and Pippin.

"Group, all gathered together? Great, let's move out, we've got a long ways to go. Pippin, since you've been hovering by my bag, bring it to me." Aragorn directed.

Pippin ran back from giving the bag back, giggling the whole way... Lizzie and Merry exchanged amused glances and tried their best to not break out into uncontrollable laughter. No good. Pippin ran over and joined in the outburst. Aragorn eyed them suspiciously, and Boromir fixed them with a glare that was greasy enough to shut Sauron himself up.

"So, Leggsie," Sam began after she and Mandi had agreed upon their next question, "do elves ever get, um," Mandi stood behind her and sniggered, but Sam kept a straight face. "Do elves ever get ear wax?"

"Such inappropriate questions to be asking a prince," Gandalf mused.

Mandi grabbed Sam's flyswatter and smacked Gandalf's hand. "Watch it, wizard. These matters do not concern you." The old man looked taken aback, but then chalked it up as another "inappropriate" thing done by the blonde girl.

"And these matters do not concern you in the least," Boromir stated to all three of the girls, "yet you are all here anyway. How on Middle Earth did that ever come to pass?" He was obnoxiously amused.

The three of them smirked whilst recalling the memory.

Flashback*******

"Nine companions" Captain of the French Fries began to say, but was interrupted by three certain people.

"Us too, us too," The girls squealed sounding like a flock of evil seagulls. (A/N: Luth-Um, yea, do seagulls squeal, or do they squawk? O well.)

"No," Elrond stated simply. As Gandalf opened his mouth to argue he added, "Mithrandir, I realize that you wish them to go, but they are naught but mere children, it is far too dangerous for them. I simply will not allow it."

"Oh, I see," the brunette stated. "You'll let the nancer go, but not us? We could actually be helpful!" Liz suddenly felt a chill and turned to see three blondes giving her deadly stares, two more fierce than the other.

"You shall not go, you would be too much of a burden."

Gandalf stepped in between the Elf Lord and the girls before they could tackle him. "Maybe, we had best discuss this privately. I have an idea." The old wizard said the last part to the girls, with that twinkle in his eye. Sam grabbed the closest thing that she could find to resemble a light bulb, and attempted to hold it above Gandalf's head. However, she only succeeded in poking him in the back of the neck with a stick.

She looked around at the gawking council. "What?"

**

"Mithrandir," Elrond said, "I do not know what you had in mind, but these three would be a hazard to the entire fellowship. They will only disturb them, thus making the journey even more difficult."

The girls sat and watched the two old men pace the room. Elrond nearly had Gandy convinced by this time. "Well, they would be safer if they were here. Maybe," he said weakly.

"NO!" The girls jumped up and yelled.

"I thought that you said that you had an idea?" Liz said in an accusing tone.

"That I did, but it was lost only a short while after it came to me."

Sam looked up at the ceiling and tried to whistle. "What?"

It was beginning to look bad for the girls, but, alas, Mandi had a thought.

(A/N: Mel- GASP! Tehehee j/k! Ness: Hey she gets ideas a lot! Getting them to stay for dinner is another thing...So I wouldn't talk Miss Elves or Spoons... Luth- *sniffles* so mean to me.)

"Okay, then, Lord Elrond. We'll stay here." She received looks of terror from her friends and one of relief from Gandalf. "This is perfect, we can stay here with you, Elly-poo. We can help out around the palace,"

The other girls were beginning to catch on. "We'll clean, cook, entertain," Sam said with a grin.

Lizzie ended it, "And we'll always be around, whether you need us or not."

End Flashback******

"You three do realize that we are not able see your reveries right?" Aragorn asked sardonically.

"Oooh Right!! Well uhh let's just say we can be very, very persuasive when necessary..." Mandi responded in a mafia-like tone. (A/N Nessa: Ha-ha I just pictured our Luth with a big ole cigar, a bowler and a machine gun going, "Go ahead punk...Just try me..." err yea.)

The two men shook their heads and gathered up their stuff, and strode off, the rest following in suit. The grizzled wizard and the greasy ranger mumbled to each other, the rest could only catch phrases like 'what about Moria' and 'no no too dangerous'. Aragorn began trying to convince Gandalf to go somewhere when all of a sudden he let out a valley girl squeal and broke into a run, hands flailing behind him.

"What's wrong Aragorn!?" Gimli shouted at the ranger who was now spinning in circles shaking himself.

"It touched meeeee! It touched meee! Eeeeeewww! Get it off of meeeee!" Was all he could get out before he began to make girly-man whimpers and resume his circle running.

"What touched you? FOOL! Get back here now!" Yelled Gandalf, "You'll attract unwanted attention to us!"

"That foul slimy thing touched meeeeeee!!"

The company looked on as a 6 inch snake wiggled the rest of the way out of Aragorn's bag, then to the ladies, Merry and Pippin who were holding on to one another so as not to collapse on the ground in laughter.

**

Mel: Well? What did you guys think? I hope it's still funny, but my mind at least has been on the fritz lately! Thank you to our reviewers we shall thank you properly in the next chappy never fear we appreciate your guys' thoughts so much!

Ness- I hate sock wedgies!

Luth- Yay! I wrote stuff this time!

Please review and you get 5 minutes of stare at the precious time! Oh and If anyone has any ideas please feel free to share we'd love to hear them!!!

Elves and Spoons,

Nessa, Melawen, and Luthien