I did say that this stroy makes things up, but I can't remember if I said that here. This story follows no canon in backstory except my own imagination.
Parents
Lucifer sat on the couch, uncomfortably straight and his hands clasped on his lap. Linda was actually kind of surprised he hadn't jumped up and began pacing by now, as he normally did when he was in some emotional crisis.
He was more nervous than she had ever seen him, but since their last session in this room, he had every right to be. He was still worried this was some sort of joke and she was going to kick him out for being who he was.
She sighed. "We made a deal. You drop the metaphors and I keep you on as a patient. I am not kicking you out. This isn't a joke. I am not abandoning you because I know the truth now."
He snorted and bounced to his feet. "You say that now..."
"Yes, and I will say it later. You did exactly what I asked, and I will stick to my side of things and keep you as a client. Both sides met and agreed and paid out in full. Stop worrying about me. I'm fine."
He stared at her for a few silent minutes, before sighing and thumping himself back down on the blue sofa. He bounced up and down on it a few times and frowned. "Does this one also pull out into a bed?"
She shook her head and grinned. Trust him to think about sex as a way to start a session when nervous. "No it doesn't. The last one did because I sometimes stayed at my office into the night. I don't do that half as much now since I spend more time with Maze and the girls. And Patrick."
He perked up at that. "Yes, my bartender. You like him!"
She ducked her head and grinned. "Yes I do. We started dating actually. Don't give him a hard time over it."
He grinned widely at her. "Why would I do that? This is great! I like when the people I work with are happy. It makes things run a lot smoother."
She nodded. "Yes. Enough of my love life though, let's talk about your family problems."
This time he was the one who froze. "Well, you met my mum. It's nice having her back in my life now I know she just wanted to be here with me and Amenadiel now we're stuck here together. I mean it would be easy enough to send us back to Hell, you just have to kill the body, but...Hell wasn't much of a punishment for mum. She never broke like most souls. She says it was because she did nothing wrong. I still don't know if that is truth or not, but it could be."
"She seems very...demanding."
He laughed. "She can be. It's not how she acts all of the time though. She was concerned for me. I...haven't been doing too well after the whole mess with Uriel."
"I noticed. I think everyone noticed. Chloe actually called me before you came last session just to see if you had booked an appointment after she said she told you to get help before you did something stupid."
He winced. "Not my greatest moment, I will give her that. I act out when trying to deal with things. It's what got me in trouble in the first place."
She leaned forward. "What did happen?"
He shrugged. She frowned at that. "From human perspective you grew jealous and resentful towards humans and rebelled because of it."
He rolled his eyes. "I wasn't jealous of humanity! Forget that, it's wrong!"
"What were you jealous of?"
He scowled and folded his arms. "Angels are made with a singular purpose. Our purpose is what we exist for. I have been given two purposes in my life by dear old Dad..."
"Hmm, you lit the stars."
"Yes! I was quite talented with music too. I wove them together and lit them using the songs woven into the universe. It was beautiful. It was my purpose. Closest I can get now is the piano."
He drifted off into silence and she kept quiet, content to let him go on at his own pace.
He shook his head. "It was after I had finished that my name was changed. What use was I anymore? My purpose had been served. My name changed to reflect what I accomplished. It felt like I was being disowned..."
She leaned forward at that. "And this was before humans?"
"Yes."
"Why did you feel disowned?"
"Angel names reflect that they are of God. The –el at the end of our names. He took that away from me."
"Ah. Yes, I can see why that would hurt. A lot."
He nodded. "Well it definitely did that. He made the planets shortly after to go between and around the stars. Then he locked himself away and begun working on his pet project called humanity. Mum got angry and began getting distant at that point. She was worried about me, but just couldn't take that dad was pulling away from the family she had helped him create. Her children. She grew to hate humanity. I was curious..."
She smiled at that. Lucifer did like to try everything he saw, especially if it involved anything human, or food related. Also, drugs, alcohol and other vices. She really wished she'd be able to get him to stop, but his natural angelic body made it harder for him to stay high or drunk. The biggest high he could get was from sex.
She needed to stop thinking of this and concentrate on what he was saying.
"...and so I just asked one day about these people. About why he didn't give them a purpose like he had us. And he said because they could make and find their own purpose."
And she closed her eyes when she heard that. "Of course. Free will."
"Mmhm. Free will. I was now without a purpose. Lost, floundering and here he had given these people the right to choose. I was so pissed off. I shattered his little Eden by taking the information he gave me and used it to test out if they truly did have free will or not. I went into Eden, I asked Eve the rules of the place and asked her if she did want a fruit from the tree or not. She said yes. I asked her why she shouldn't have it if everything else there was for the taking. Why should that one tree be forbidden?"
"She chose to take the apple and eat it. Yes, I know this part."
"Everyone knows this part. Except of course there was no actual snake, forget that. I was just another one of God's angels come to visit. It's not like they hadn't seen an angel before."
"You did what you are doing now. Acting out because you were hurt. It seems that he made both of our races with the same emotions."
He shrugged. "Or maybe I have been topside for far too long."
"Top side meaning Earth, because I thought you were barred from heaven."
"Yep! And I am barred from Heaven. No going home for me. I was given the boot. He asked why I did what I did. I told him how it was unfair that he made humans with free will but not us. What was I supposed to do now? I had no fitting name; I had no purpose since my deeds had already been done. What was I supposed to do with eternity? Sit and watch my siblings as they all got duties to perform that would last forever? How unfair is that?!"
"You questioned him."
"Yes I did, and questioning dear old dad was a big fat no no. He disappeared with my mum for a while so they could discuss me and the problem I was making, since it seems others were also beginning to question. Mind you, I had absolutely nothing to do with that. Yet I was the one blamed for it!"
"Mum told me when she proved that she wasn't here to murder me for ignoring her in Hell that it was her that actually got me sentenced to Hell. Dad wanted to flat out destroy me. She saved my life, my soul. Either way, I was punished and given a new duty. One I wanted nothing to do with. He had Michael throw me out of Heaven and into the pits of Hell. It... It burnt. It hurt and it was terrifying. The only part of me that wasn't burned completely away was my wings. The feathers grew out again. They did nothing but prove to the denizens of Hell either when I made them or when they entered through the gates that I was an angel."
"And the burns proved you were fallen. Okay, I think we should stop for today. We can talk about your relationship with Uriel and more on him and his death starting next session I think. The hours up."
He blinked at her and looked at his watch. "Oh. Alright. That's fine."
He stood up and hesitated at the door. "Uh, you won't...you won't tell the detective anything that is said in here, right?"
Linda looked shocked that he'd even ask. "No! Of course not. Why would you even think that I'd go against confidentiality laws and destroy your trust like that?"
"You said she called you..."
"Yes, and she did so to make sure you did get here in your own time. I told her you were booked in and she hung up. That doesn't mean I discuss you with others."
"You did with Amenadiel..."
"Yes, well, I was very angry and bitter towards him when I found out he deceived me to get to you. If I had have known I never would. He told me about a made up patient who had similar delusions, except in her case they were actually delusions. I thought he could help and understand."
"Yeah, well, here's a helpful bit of advice Doctor. I may not lie, but other angels do."
Before she could answer him, he opened the door, disappeared out of it and slammed it close.
He knew he could trust her. This whole conversation today and him showing her the real him proved that. She just wished he didn't react by leaving when things got hard.
At least today he didn't leave during the middle of the session.
