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First off, RL has been kicking my ass, literally.
Second, I am working out a plan to write when I can and push myself to get these chapters out quicker than I have been!
I really love all the love this story has gotten. My little following means the world to me especially since there are millions of other fics out there. I am just a blip on the radar screen!
I need to give some shout outs and then you can read, be patient with me!
Lady Tazz, thank you thank you thank you for reading these chapters for me! Within your busy schedule, you take the time to read for me and I am entirely grateful for that!
Edwards Chipper, thank you thank you for beta'ing these chapters for me! What would I ever do without you! I know you're busy and for you to take me under your wing is inspiring and I am grateful!
For everyone that reviews this story, bare with me -
Tinkerbell72, CherylSab, sml6446, LabTechAndi, DarkAngel2Wolf, mouse555, jancullenfever, kellabella09 and LR51
Thank you! Your reviews are what keeps me going! I am thrilled to death that you are taking this longggggggggggggg ride with me and that I am keeping you entertained as well!
With that said, here's the disclaimer because I don't own shit and then you can read! LOL
Disclaimer: Meyer owns Twilight and all characters… I own this story and 4, yes, 4 copies of Eclipse… 1 of which is signed by Charlie, Daniel, Cameron, Jamie, Christopher and Jackson Rathbone!
***I actually might do an author's note this time… LOL***
A Walk in the Clouds
The walk was quicker for some odd reason. Maybe I wanted to be over and done with this disaster of a date. I didn't know. As we came down my street, I manage to peek through my lashes at him. He had a small grin across his face but nothing else.
"Well this is it," I said directly at him.
"This is beautiful," he said looking up into the night sky. "You live here?"
I turned and looked at my humble abode. "Yep, with two roommates. Friends from school."
"It looks old."
"Ah…yeah, it's really old. About a hundred years old to be exact. Most of the houses on this block were all built around the 1890's. It's a pretty old neighborhood, one of the oldest."
I lifted the latch on the gate and walked through.
"Mmmm…would you like a beer or something?" I asked. My brain finally figured out the right words.
"Would you feel comfortable with that?" he asked.
"Edward, it's not that I feel uncomfortable around you…," I started.
"You do," he interrupted me.
"Honestly, I don't know what I'm feeling right now."
"It's okay. If it makes you feel any better, I'm a little nervous too."
"You sure don't act like it."
"It's called acting, Bella," he smirked.
"So…that kiss back there? That was an act too?"
"No, Ms. Swan. That I meant. And I would do it again if you would let me."
I chewed on my lip, discussing with myself the possibilities.
"Actually, I think I might take that beer now," I giggled. "Please, come in." I pushed the gate a little wider. He walked through it, stopping. He put his hand on top of mine, sending another electric shock through my system.
"After you," he motioned, closing the gate behind himself.
We walked quietly up the steps to the porch. I rummaged around in my bag as I searched for my keys.
"Hmm…would you mind if we sat out here?" I asked, looking over his shoulders at the swing behind him.
"If that makes you more comfortable that would be fine," he said taking a step towards it.
I just nodded and let myself in. I shut the door behind me and squealed, loudly. I threw my bag on the sofa and wandered into the kitchen. I grabbed two beers out of the fridge and a bag of chips. As I opened the front door, I switched on the ceiling fan on the porch but not the light. The moon was full enough, sending light every where.
"Here," I said handing him the beer. "Chips?"
"Sure."
"So…why do I make you nervous?" I asked him, getting back to the earlier conversation of nervousness.
"Because you're normal?"
"Normal? What does that mean?" I pulled my leg under myself and faced him.
"Wow, I am really blowing this date, aren't I?" He blew out a small breath and took another sip of the beer.
"That would make two of us." I grinned.
He snorted while he stood up and walked to the edge of the porch, "In my line of work, I am pushed in so many different directions. I meet people everyday. Of the acquaintances that I meet, I find myself wondering if they are there for me or my fame."
"Oh…" I said, totally embarrassed. I completely misconstrued why he would be nervous around me. It wasn't me, it was him. Not knowing if I was there because of 'who' he was or because I wanted to be.
"Usually, I don't date. I've been linked to so many people, that I rather not. It's hard though. One wrong move and it's blasted all over the tabloids or the news. It's very daunting."
I just nodded.
"But you," he said turning to face me and leaning up against the railing. He settled his beer on the edge and relaxed a little. "You didn't freak out when I ran into you the other day. Why?"
"Why would I? I mean we don't usually get many 'Big Wigs' in the store let alone high profile people like yourself. To me, you are just another person, looking for a book to read or a cup of coffee to drink."
"Why do I make you nervous," he asked again. This time, he was staring at me. His crisp green eyes wide, with a deep fiery look to them.
"Hmmm…I think mostly because of who you are. I mean back at the restaurant, that was a little intimating for someone like me. And I too usually don't date either."
"Why?"
"Long story," I said chugging the rest of my beer down. "And I'll pass on telling it, if you don't mind."
"Fair enough," he said with a smile.
"Would you care for another beer?"
"Yes, thank you," he said grabbing his. I walked over to take it and tripped. Right into his arms.
"Umm…sorry about that," I said. "I'll just be a minute."
I removed myself from his grasp turning for the front door, when he touched my elbow, delicately. My heart rate rise and it felt like all the air left my chest. That same electric shock flowing through my body again. He stood up slowly. I turned only my head, sideways, to find his green eyes searching. I closed my eyes, as his breath hitched. His fingers found my face, his thumb slowly caressing my cheek bone. My skin felt hot, my body warming under his touch. Something I haven't felt in a while.
"Bella," he panted. I could feel his nose lightly skimming my forehead, as he took a deep breath. He brought his other hand up around the base of my neck, gently rubbing my hair line.
I mimicked his deep breath with one of my own, swallowed all my inhibitions and kissed him. Slowly and cautiously, I found his upper lip and encased it. I pulled it, then released it. Reclaiming myself, I reached for it again, this time I captured both his lips with mine. As the desire crept upon me, I found myself turning slowly towards him as he moved his hand to cup my face, tenderly.
I was completely lost. Driven with desire for him but at the same time confounded by it. He pulled his other hand from around my waist and brought it up to my cheek. As he brushed his fingers along my cheek bone, I stopped breathing. I crushed myself to him and starting kissing him instead. I felt his arm tighten around my waist and a soft moan in his throat. I broke the kiss and tried to steady myself.
"I am so sorry," I said panting. "I am usually not that straight forward."
"No, I liked it," he said still holding me.
As I looked him in the eyes, he pulled me closer and tightened his hold. As we stood there, forehead to forehead, I noticed that his breathing increase as did mine. This time, he was the one that started the kiss. The kiss of all kisses. Sweet, soft, kind. Long, hard, swift. I melted into his arms, as I felt his hold tighten yet again. As our lips formed to each other, I crushed myself to him.
His hands were all over my body. Rubbing my neck line, his hands roamed to my shoulders, down to my sides and stopped at my hips. He squeezed them, making me sigh into his mouth and he answered with one of his own. His hands slowly found their way to my butt, massaging it and squeezing. Breaking the kiss only to breath, I nudged the bottles onto the railing and raked my fingers through his hair. Feeling the soft texture curling my fingers through the longer strands as he paid attention to my neck and collarbone. As he pushed me tighter to him, I could feel a hint of something very hard. In the front of his jeans.
I wanted this. I needed this. And that's when I heard it. That one voice I never wanted to here ever again.
"You're mine," it said. "No one can change it."
My pupils focused in and out. I looked around the best I could, for a second to make sure no one else was in the area. Edward seemed oblivious to the voice. Maybe he hadn't heard it? Nonsense, it all but shouted the words.
As Edward moved up the side of my neck with small kisses, I twisted slightly to get a better view of the street and the park. Nothing. I swear I just heard a voice, growling at me.
"Is this too much?" Edward asked out of breath.
"No, no," I said shaking my head and leaning in to him. "Would you like that beer now?"
He nodded, licking his lips as I leaned over to grab the bottles. I turned to head back into the house when the voice spoke again.
"You slut. You're mine."
I stopped and closed my eyes tightly; holding my breath. Why was I hearing his voice? There was no one here.
"Is there something wrong?" Edward said quietly. I could hear his footsteps on the porch, approaching me from behind.
I listened very closely and all I could hear was Edward's breathing and the crickets chirping.
"No…I…I just thought I heard something. That's all," I said smiling at him. "I'll be right back."
I all but ran back into the house. Checking the kitchen door to make sure it was locked, I looked out the kitchen window and noticed Angela's car parked in the back next to mine. The girls were home and it didn't look like they had gone out or anything. I grabbed two more beers out of the fridge and walked back onto the porch. Edward was still leaning against the railing, smoking and looking very relaxed.
"You know that stuff will kill you," I said handing him his beer. I stood next to him, eyeing him up and down as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"I'm sorry," he said throwing it off the porch. "It's about the only bad habit I haven't kicked yet."
"Only one?" I questioned him.
He nodded as he sipped his beer.
"I quit drinking a year ago. This is just one vice that keeps me sane."
"So you were a drinker," I said.
"Unfortunately," he grinned. "I had a little rough patch through my career and I turned to drinking to help me though it. I know now that that was not the best way to manage but at the time I didn't care."
"Drugs?"
"No and thank goodness for that. That was one thing I couldn't do."
"So you tried it?"
"No, never," he said. "A few people I worked with did and tried their hardest to get me hooked but I stuck to the bottle instead."
"Good for you. Any other bad habits I should know about," I said smiling.
"Not really. Smoking is it at the moment. And you?"
"No vices. I don't smoke, I've never done drugs and this is the extent of me drinking," I said wiggling my beer bottle.
"That's good to know," he said.
"Hobbies?"
"Hobbies," he said. "I like to hike, the outdoors are a haven for me. My family likes to go on these camping trips some times."
"Hiking? Camping?"
"Surprised?" Edward grinned.
"Very much so. Didn't take you much for a hiker. You know with all your Hollywood looks and all."
"Well, what did you take me for?" Edward asked. "I want to know."
"For starters?" I questioned him.
"Of course."
"Someone who is used to getting what they want. Someone who will not take no for an answer."
"Second time tonight that you have served my heart on a platter."
"I'm only being honest. You asked. Look, I'm sorry about this. I usually don't 'hang out' with complete strangers at…," I stopped my thought and looked at my watch, "…ten o'clock at night on my front porch drinking."
"Totally understandable," he said, putting down his beer and throwing his hand out towards me. "Hi, my name is Edward Cullen. It is a pleasure to meet you."
Grinning from ear to ear, he took my hand, bowed and then kissed the top of my hand.
"And you?"
Obscurely, I looked at him and cleared my throat.
"Bella, Isabella Sawn. Thank you."
"See, that wasn't that bad. And now you know who I am and I you. So…are we still strangers?"
"First name acquaintances still makes us strangers."
"Then tell me who you are," he asked.
"I can't," I breathed in a deep breath.
"Siblings?"
I shook my head.
"School?"
I shook my head again.
"Graduated a year ago. Degrees in History and Music."
"And you own a book store?"
"What can I say. It sorta of fell into my lap." I explained.
"Boyfriend?"
My eyes shot directly past him, towards the park that line our street. I shivered a bit and something went through me. Not the same electrical shock as earlier but a feeling of dread and terror. I grabbed hold of my beer and started to look around again. I got the strange feeling that I was being watched but there was no one around. I couldn't shake the feeling.
"Bella?" Edward whispered.
His voice startled me and I dropped the beer that I was holding onto for dear life. As everything went into slow motion - Edward catching the beer on the way down, my head whipping from side to side as I back up towards the front door and that voice repeating words over and over again.
"You're mine. I'm in your head. Your soul. Your heart. My seed is all over you. Slut. Slut. Slut."
Over and over. Again and Again. It didn't stop.
"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward said franticly.
"Get away from me, please," I pleaded. "Please!"
"What?" He moved so fast that I didn't even see him standing in front of me when I finally opened my eyes.
To my worst nightmare.
"Please leave me alone," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut again.
"You're mine. Slut. Slut. Slut."
"NO!"
I could feel strong hands gripping my shoulders; a soft voice calling my name and the husky, low voice growling at me. I could see heavy brown eyes bearing down on me behind my lids and the smell of beer drifting up to my nose. He was here. Standing right in front of me. Trapping me like he used to; like he always did.
"Bella, there's no one here," Edward murmured. "Bella talk to me. What's wrong?"
"No one will ever replace me. I'm in your head. I'm in your dreams. I am your nightmare."
I gathered my courage like I did before and tightened my body. With every muscle in my control, I brought my knee up to the voice, the person standing in front of me and swiftly kicked my nightmare where it hurt the worse; right where the sun didn't shine. And he dropped to his knees.
Hearing a piercing howl form in my ears, I sank down the door and covered my ears. I rocked back and forth, tears flowing down the sides of the cheeks. I heard panting and moaning coming from right in front of me but I was too scared to open my eyes.
"Be…lla," the voice called for me. Of course it did. That was his game. To make me think I was winning only to teach me the lesson once he won and I lost.
"Go away," I whispered, keeping my ears covered and eyes closed. "Just please go away."
I heard shuffling and groaning.
"Bella?" The voice wasn't so high anymore.
"Just go away. Leave me alone. I am not yours any more." I cried.
"But Bella…it's me Edward."
I heard muffled speaking but was still scared to open my eyes.
"No you're not. Go away." I cried out again.
"Are you okay?" Edward asked. "It's me, Edward. No one else."
As the tears stopped flowing and I began to breathe once more, I wiped my eyes with my shirt and slowly opened them.
"Edward?" I gasped. Crawling over to him, the tears started to attack again. "Oh my God. I am so sorry."
I cleared my eyes once more and took a better look at what was going on. Edward was sitting on his butt up against the porch railing, holding himself and cursing under his breath. Long shuttered breaths escaped his lips and he closed his eyes and started to count.
"I'm gonna go grab some ice," I said standing, instead he pulled me back down.
"Are you alright?"
What?
"What?" I said, confused.
"Are you alright," he said groaning. "I'll live but I want to make sure you are okay."
"Edward, I just kicked you and you're asking me if I am okay?"
"Yes."
"Yes, I am fine. I'll be right back."
I ran into the house. What the hell was that Swan? I grabbed a plastic bag and took the ice bin out of the freezer.
"What the hell?" Two ice cubes.
Putting a little water in the bag, I dropped the two cubes in and closed the bag, gunning for the door.
"Edward don't!"
He was straining to stand. I could tell that my self defensive classes were working, he was in severe pain and I hated every minute of it.
"Sit back down," I scolded him. "Here, we only had two cubes left, but it's better than nothing. I don't have any frozen peas either."
"Frozen peas?" Edward asked, groaning as the bag came in contact with his swollen pride.
"Yea, it works just as well as ice when there's swelling happening. I am so sorry. I got spooked and I thought you were someone else."
"It's okay. I just want to make sure you're okay."
"You really shouldn't."
He frowned.
I peaked over the railing, just checking to make sure there was no one there and brought my eyes back to Edward. His face was flushed and his eyes watery. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he took small, measured breaths and kept the bag of ice where it needed to be.
"Where did you learn to do that?" Edward asked, grimacing as he sat up a little bit more.
I looked back over the railing and then turned my attention back to him.
"Self Defense Class."
"Obviously. But that wasn't an ordinary hit from a little girl like your self." He smirked.
Blushing, I giggled and drew in a deep breath.
"I had a great teacher in my dad. After he died and I got into some trouble, Marcus' father took me under his wing and continued my education, I guess. I know how to handle myself now and better then I did before. I even know how to handle and shoot a gun."
"A gun?" Edward questioned.
I nodded quickly.
"Don't worry. I don't carry one. I don't even have a license for it," I said softly.
"That's good to know," he said rearranging himself. "Ow…"
"Edward I am so sorry. You must think I am a total bitch for doing this to you," I said apologizing multiple times.
He turned with gloomy, half smile, "As long as I know you are okay, this is fine. And as long as I know you can defend yourself properly, it makes me completely happy to make your acquaintance Miss Isabella Swan."
So formal. I couldn't believe my ears. He didn't care about getting kicked or the pain he was in or the swelling that was probably happening right now. All he cared about was me. All he wanted was for me to be okay and unharmed. No one ever cared that much - well my parents, of course but they had too.
I sat down next to him, pulling my legs out from under me and looked straight ahead. Edward rearranged the bag again and grimaced as he did. I felt so bad, horrible for what I did. But that's what I was taught. I was taught to be vigilant and alert. I was taught by the best of the police force. I was taught to defend myself and my body.
I don't know how long we sat there; my head on his shoulder and his head resting on mine. Our breathing became regular, synced. The crickets chirped, a lithe breeze blew, but the night was still muggy as ever.
"How are you feeling," I asked, clearing my throat.
"Perfect," he said smiling. "But I think I better get going, my flight leaves tomorrow afternoon."
"That's right, you're leaving tomorrow."
"Yep," he said. He repositioning himself, blushing slightly and stood up. Only grimacing once, he held his hand down towards me.
"Thanks," I said, taking his hand and pulling myself up. "I am really sorry about that. I don't know what happened."
"There's no need to explain. You got spooked. I totally understand."
"Edward, I kicked you. You may not ever be able to have children now," I smirked.
"Well then, I guess I can't bring you home to meet my mom. She may be a little angry with you."
He chuckled, as I felt my face flush with the thought.
Leaning against the railing, he asked, "Can I call you when I get in?"
"Mmm…Edward…I don't think that's possible," I said. "I am not the girl for you. This evening was…mmm…nice and all but I think it needs to end here."
I looked towards him for a brief second and then turned my attention to the street. With a frown, he reached into his shirt pocket pulling out his phone. A quick and quiet conversation, he hung up and pocketed the phone.
We stood there, facing the street, staring at nothing and speaking at nothing. As I watch some lights from up the street, Edward bent down and grabbed the bag of what was once two little ice cubes and was now water. I watched as a black Tahoe pulled up, across the street from my house and a gentlemen exit the vehicle.
"There's my ride," he said waving to the gentlemen. "That's James. He's head of my security team."
Catching me off guard, I paled at the thought of a "security team". This was more than I thought I could handle.
"Can I introduce you?" He questioned me. Offering his arm, I nodded slowly and walked down the steps with Edward in tow.
We crossed the street, as the gentlemen opened the back door for him.
"James, this is Isabella Swan. Isabella this is James." Edward introduced us with a spring in his voice. Like he was happy for this introduction, that it would lead to something more perhaps.
"Just Bella," I said, shaking his hand.
"Again, Ms. Swan, it was a memorable evening."
"Yes Edward. Memorable."
"If you wouldn't mind, if I ever had the chance to come back, may I call on you?" He asked, formally.
I rolled my eyes at the formality of his question.
With a small smile on my face, I answered his question.
"We'll see. Possible. Have a safe trip, Edward."
"Thank you," he said, his eyes darting towards James standing behind me.
I heard a door close behind me and pulled my attention back to Edward.
"Thank you again. And I look forward to seeing you again."
Taking a small step forward, he left a light, feathery kiss on my cheek and another one on my forehead. Meeting my eyes and cupping my head, his lips met mine. Softly and slowly, a small kiss was all he left me with.
Edward got into the SUV as I started to walk back across the street towards my house. I turned to wave and noticed that a window was rolled down and James was staring straight at me. I stopped at my gate and waved at him hoping to reassure him that I was fine and he could bring Edward to where ever he was staying but James just sat there.
I walked up the stairs and turned one more time; he was still staring in my direction. A little creepy but something about it made me feel comfortable. I smiled, lifting my hand to wave a little and walked through my front door. I walked to a window and watched as the SUV pulled from the spot finally. After a few seconds, I walked back onto the porch and watched as the tail lights disappeared down the street.
I sat on the swing, pushing it with my feet a little and thought about what happened tonight. Dinner, walking, talking, kissing, kicking. I chucked at the last one - kicking. I totally felt guilty for it and would totally take it back if I could.
I felt alive with Edward. Safe. I don't know why I felt safe but I did. Even though I freaked out when he tried to kiss me, the kiss was one I would remember for a long time. He felt warm. He felt soft. He was sweet and slow. He was everything I wanted someone to be.
But could I push my nightmare aside and try to find happiness in a dream that only happened in the movies?
So, like I said, I was going to try this author note thingy and here I am.
Most of you don't like Bella right now… she has a hunk standing in front of her and is doing everything to push him away. And now she kicked him in the nuts…
But trust me… she will get better… I promise. Bare with me!
Again, sorry it took so long but RL has me by the balls!
As always, review and bash me for anything you don't like!
