"I have to go to the real world, Hayashi-san. But I will return, and I will keep my promise to you."
Seree was kneeling in front of the gravestone, hands held together and speaking in a soft voice with her eyes closed. It had been three days since the funeral had been held. Her silence was interrupted only by some rustling on the grass.
"I'm so sorry..."
"Why?"
She turned around in surprise and saw Hisagi standing right behind her. She had not realized the rustling had been the sound of his steps as he approached.
"Lieutenant!"
He kept walking and stood besides her in front of the gravestone.
"There's nothing for you to be sorry about."
"But..."
"Captain Unohana told me I had guessed correctly... That's just like him, you know. He was a good man."
"I wish I had known him better."
"Ooh, I'm not too sure about that, if you had, he'd have been chasing after your skirt every time he got drunk!"
"Hisagi-san!"
Seree looked up in surprise at Hisagi. His eyes were fixed on the gravestone, but they seemed to be focused on some indeterminate point beyond it. And he was smiling. She turned to the gravestone and smiled too.
"It couldn't have been that bad."
"I suppose not." He raised a bottle of sake and uncorked it, then started pouring it over the stone. "But there was never a dull moment with him around. You'll be going to the real world soon, right?"
"Uh? Oh! Well, only for a little bit. Captain Unohana wants me to be stationed in the real world in case something like this happens there."
"When you come back, do try to drop by the 9th Division, you could train with us if you want."
"Oro?" She looked at Hisagi with a clear expression of surprise.
"I talked with Captain Unohana, it'd be better than you going off and training on your own, don't you think?"
"I don't think it's a good idea..."
Hisagi looked at Seree. She had lowered her gaze and was resting her left hand on the hilt of her sword. The hand was trembling slightly.
"Is that why you didn't come to the funeral?" He sighed. "Seree-chan, don't put so much blame on yourself. We don't. We're not so petty."
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"
"I know, I know."
She didn't remove her hand from her sword.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm... I'm sorry Lieutenant. I just keep thinking about the battle. It's been three days, and I still see it every time I close my eyes."
"Are you afraid?"
She nodded, and it took several seconds before she could speak.
"I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what will happen if I draw my sword again. I'm afraid of what could happen if I don't. I'm... just..."
"Those who do not fear the sword they wield do not deserve to wield a sword at all."
Hisagi's voice had taken a soft monotone when he spoke those words. Seree opened her eyes and looked at him in surprise once more.
"Lieutenant?"
Hisagi looked at her, and Seree had the feeling he wasn't just seeing her. He smiled slightly.
"Battle is a terrifying thing. If you are afraid of battle, you can raise your sword to protect others who, too, fear battle. You have gained something priceless for a warrior."
He turned and looked away, towards the horizon.
"That's what I was taught."
"I... I'm not sure I understand..."
"It'll come to you. In time."
Seree reached for her ZanpakutÅ decisively and drew it. Her face had not lost her expression of fear, and her grip was very firm and stiff, making the blade tremble like a leaf in the breeze. The hollow let out a loud, blood-curling scream, but she didn't budge. With one last lingering look at the crowd below, she raised her guard and pointed at the hollow with her sword.
"I won't let you hurt anyone!"
