Thx for feedback, you guys are so nice to me and i love you all for it!

I wrote the angsty first half of this chapter to the song Saving Me by Nickleback, and the second half to the story title 'If There Is A light.'

Feel free to listen to them -on low throughout the story so the lyrics don't become too much of a distraction. I will place a symbol where the new song begins. I really hope you enjoy it, this one was hard & emotional to write.

He didn't know how it had happened but he wished with all his might that it had not.

Walking among the motionless corpses that littered the quite battlefield, Athos squinted through the dense fog, trying to make sense of the scene he had been transported to while he had been seemingly unaware.

His breath caught in his throat when he recognized the familiar silhouette of an abandoned carriage in, the moonlight glinting off its golden encrusted edges and white painted exterior, its large form casting shadows at its based.

He was back in the fields where they had been ambushed, Athos realized.

Had he never left?! Had he been taken off guard and knocked unconscious?

Athos dismissed the frightening thoughts quickly.

His brothers would not have abandoned him in his hour of need, surely he was not that worthless of a man that they too had seen through to his dark soul at last and left him without a second glance.

Had they?

Athos felt his throat tightening and his eyes becoming hot.

So where were his brothers?

Stumbling forwards suddenly as his boots caught on the bloodied arm of a dead man, Athos was forced to his knees harshly, his hands instinctively reaching out to slow his fall but recoiled as if stabbed at the scene that lay before him.

Only a few paces away, once hidden under the low hanging fog, now perfectly clear to his line of sight lay three slumped bodies, his brothers.

Their motionless, tattered clothing was covered thickly by what seemed to be their life's blood, their pale bluish faces deeply shadowed in the half light, accentuating their once rich cheekbones and hollowing out their once joyous, youthful eyes.

It would appear they had succumbed to a various assortment of injuries that covered their battered bodies from head to toe.

But of course they had died by one another's side, fighting tooth and nail into the very arms of death itself and leaving this world hand in hand.

Athos' traumatized mind was so shattered by the sight that he felt his eyes roaming their still forms in a state of detachment, surveying them as if he were performing his inspection duties back at the garrison.

Upon closer analysis, Athos noticed Aramis and D'artagnans dark hair was hanging into their eyes, making it appear as if they were staring at him menacingly through their brows.

Meanwhile, Porthos' eyes were so devoid of obstruction that it appeared he was staring at him wide eyed, so wide in fact, it almost looked as if he had no eyelids at all.

Coming back from his detached point of view, Athos shuffled closer, mouth agape in horror, eyes locked onto their seemingly accusing glares.

Where had he been? Why hadn't he been able to stop this!? How could he have been sleeping so selfish while his brothers lay here in death mere feet away!

Athos clawed at his scalp as he screamed into the night for retribution, clumsily dragging the bodies of his limp brothers against his frame so he could hug his arms around their cold, stiff torsos.

WHY!?

Tears streaming down his face, Athos was barely able to see the figures of soldiers that marched passed him, all of them glancing down at the foursome with a mixture of slight pity and disdain.

Not once did they offer comfort or help as they passed them by in the night. No body cared.

As the seconds crawled by timelessly, Athos thought he spotted the figure of a woman gliding among the moving soldiers, her sleek outline and red billowing dress appearing but for a moment before vanishing once more.

Athos put the vision down to his frayed wits, he must be seeing things ... anything would be better than looking into their eyes. He still couldn't confront the fact that not one but all three of his brothers were dead.

The woman suddenly appeared again, this time only fifty paces away and directly ahead, facing away from him to the side while her beautifully designed fan covered her features.

Why was there a woman on the battlefield? Was she a nurse?... She certainly didn't look like one ...and how was it that she had travelled here in the dead of night without an escort?

Athos rotated these questions in his mind as he watched her, keeping his shattered being busy with any distractions he could find.

It was in that instant that the woman turned her head to look at him, her black locks swinging around her face an eerie glint to her beautiful green eyes.

She began to approach Athos, apparently oblivious to his haunted appearance and the fact that his body was half covered in bloody corpses.

Her green eyes glowing maniacally as she paused to stoop in front of him, the mysterious woman lowered the fan from her face. Milady.

Athos was taken aback, not knowing how to respond to her presence -and so resigned himself to surrender under her constant fury.

He understood now that he deserved this pain.

She smiled down at him with a sickly sweet expression, eyeing the dead brothers in his arms as she stood back to her full height and began to circle him slowly, like a predator toying with its prey.

"Poor, poor Athos, you never could protect the ones you love" she cooed, feeling his heart breaking at her words.

Athos felt a stab of pain twist in his heart, he shook his head in denial.

"Please... stop" he begged, throat thick, fingers tight, tears streaming down his face.

"You let Thomas die and then you coldly murdered your wife. Hung her by the neck from the old oak tree they once made love by" she reminisced as if a narrator to a horror story.

"Please, I beg of you" Athos whimpered quietly, unable to reject her accurate accusations, drawing his dead brothers closer to his chest in search of comfort.

"-and now your absence has gotten all of your brothers killed before their time" she said with a smile.

"…poor, poor D'artagnan...still so young... about the same age as Thomas was when he-"

"ENOUGH!"

Athos wrenched himself from the throes of his nightmare to find himself curled up into a fetal position, shivering fitfully and letting out harsh panting noises, his throat tight as he held back his sobs that threatened to consume him.

Athos scanned the homely kitchen with blurry eyes, checking his most recent memories against that of his current surroundings, eventually confirming that he had been dreaming.

Despite this relieving conclusion, Athos still allowed himself the peace of mind he needed to desperately rove his eyes over his slumbering brothers, sighing as he noted they were alive and breathing.

Athos felt like crying all over again. This time tears of happiness. He wanted more than anything to hug them both and cling on tight...but he resisted. They needed to rest.

So instead, he let out another shaky breath, trying to tame his laboured breathing and compose his weary mind, eyes now alert as ever as they continued to roam around the room.

It was through his cursory search that Athos found another pair of green eyes staring back at him in the half light.

Almost succumbing to a heart attack at what Athos mistook as the eyes of his wife, milady, Miriam cautiously released herself from Aramis chest -not wanting to wake the fitfully sleeping soldier from his much needed rest- and ventured over to Athos' side, watching his face with sorrow and concern.

~o0o~

"Athos-" she pleaded in a hushed tone, placing a cool hand on his sweaty forehead.

Athos instinctively leant into her touch, comforted by the physically contact and absorbing this moment of peace before sheepishly looking up into her glittering green eyes.

"I'm so sorry if I woke you" Athos apologized, voice low but still thick with emotion, taking a second to swipe at his eyes in embarrassment and cough slightly, now unable to meet her gaze as he slowly straightened himself up against the wall.

Snapped back to formality by his sudden retreat, Miriam looked away for his benefit, her stare now seemingly impolite.

"Don't apologize" she stated softly causing his eyes to meet hers slowly as he thanked he silently.

After deliberating whether or not he should tell her, Athos took a few deep breaths to steel his resolve and dived in, "I dreamt I had lost my brothers...and then my past came to taunt me" Athos confessed quietly, eyes flickering between Miriam's and his boots.

Her heart broke at his soft admission, pitying this poor soldiers' fractured mind. It had no doubt taken courage to open up to a stranger such as she.

She listened patiently as he continued to offer her a few more details, her stomach coiling in pain at hearing the few tidbits regarding his lifetime of woe.

Miriam placed a hand on his and squeezed.

"Well, you're safe now. And your brothers are well' she comforted, looking around at the sleeping men.

Athos nodded slowly as he looked over at his brothers again, accepting the truth.

Miriam looked back over at the worn man in front of her, noting his haggard appearance and his still deeply soaked attire from blood of another.

She needed to remove the harsh reminders Miriam speculated, a frown on her face -a bath would be perfect!

"Come with me, lets get you tidied up" Miriam pressed.

Athos protested quickly with a shake of his head but she wouldn't take no for an answer, insisting he accompany her to the lavatory.

"That colour doesn't suit you at all" she jested, taking him off guard with her light humour and provoking a light smile, glad it was not forced.

Her eyes met his again, convincing him to stand slowly and follow her out into the unseen room behind the kitchen, padding over to the door and turning the knob quietly.

Once she had closed the door, Athos turned her softly.

" Thank you for your kindness" he spoke sincerely, eyes shining through to his soul.

Miriam nodded and excused herself to fetch the water from outside, promising it would be warm thanks to its position under warm summer sun that soared overhead in the day.

In her absence, Athos slowly began to unbutton his shirt, trying to ignore the memories that threatened to claim him at the sight of the blood stains and nicks from the swords of foes.

Upon her hasty return, Miriam was more than surprised to find him already shirtless.

She tried not to rake her eyes over his great physique, the smooth plains of his stomach, his strong shoulders and pectorals, the radiant muscles of his arms that told of his loyalty to his working lifestyle as a warrior- but of course she already had.

"Ah... you're spilling the water…" Athos interrupted hesitantly, brows knitted together in concern as she seemed to have drifted off somewhere.

Snapping back to attention, Miriam blushed furiously, straightening the slightly dipping buckets and pouring them into the bathtub, using this new position to hide her reddened face behind her dark streaming hair.

As she continued to pour, Miriam heard him unbuckling his belt behind her, followed by the sound of struggles as he hopped desperately on one foot -trying to keep his balance as he took off his boots.

Clad now only in his stained breeches, Miriam dared to turn to him and bid him a good night, but he interrupted her thoughts once again.

"Tomorrow, allow us to offer our services on the farm- it is only right to pull our share of the work if we are to live in the care of your hospitality while Porthos recovers" he stated, softly, tone low and unintentionally seductive.

Miriam mentally slapped herself.

Get a hold of yourself woman! It's not the first time you've seen a man nude- what with all the shameless brothers walking the house at night.

She blushed, causing Athos to raise a curious eyebrow at her random expression of embarrassment.

Miriam merely nodded her acknowledgement of the offer but gave him an appreciative smile.

"It would serve to tame pa's temper ...and lengthen his patience" she admitted.

Athos nodded in agreement, taking in her shy smile and sparkling green eyes. Beautiful.

The two shared a nervous smile but suddenly shook themselves from their stupor, taking notice of the silence that had stretched on awkwardly long again leading them to gawk at each other absently.

Athos coughed nervously and Miriam noticed he was waiting for her to close the door so he may undress.

Blushes in embarrassment for the third time in a row, she hastily made her retreated from the room leaving Athos to smile at her humorous nature, a feeling of warmth spreading over his body as he stripped at sat in the warm bath, tense muscles relaxing while a smile gripped his features.

It was in the tub that Athos came to realize he was developing feelings for this woman.

Groaning at what that might mean he promptly submerged his head under the water.

7 pages, a little too long, I know -sorry.

I really do hope you liked it though! Please let me know what you thought of their interaction with a review, I'm new to 'couple situations' so a readers insight would mean the world to me!