Chapter 7. Magoa


Jack

"Let me get this straight..."

Princess Anna repeated this phrase for the fourth time, and he sighed, preparing for her to go through all the things he'd told her once again.

Twenty minutes had gone by since Anna had realized that Jack was invisible, and the two were now in the gardens that bordered the castle. He had sensed the tension between the two sisters back in the hallway, and had quickly steered Anna away from the hiding queen, leading her outside and explaining the entire story to her in order to give Elsa some time to escape.

Despite his excitement at being seen by another person, he was a bit weary; Princess Anna was a chatterbox. Rather than being all shocked, stunned, and silent after finding out what he was, as Elsa had been when she found out, Anna was unreasonably calm and inexplicably giddy.

"Okay, okay," she said, gesturing to him from where she sat on a stone bench, "So you're immortal. And you can talk to the wind." She paused. "And... you came out of the ice?"

He nodded, twirling his staff idly as he leaned against the fountain across from her. "Yep."

"Cool," she breathed, her eyes brighter than stars, "And you don't have any parents, right? You were brought here by the moon?"

"Apparently."

"You're also invisible."

"Thanks for the reminder."

"But my mother could see you!"

"Correct."

"And I can see you..."

"Obviously."

"And Elsa can see you?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you like Elsa."

"Yes." He did a double-take, his head snapping up as he blinked in alarm."Wait, what?"

"Aha!" Anna exclaimed, grinning widely as she pointed an accusing finger at him, "You said yes!"

Jack sputtered unintelligibly for a second. "N-no!" he finally managed to say, feeling heat creep up his cheeks. "I said what."

"No, you said yes first!" she argued with a laugh, "Admit it, Jack Frost. I can see it in your face." She paused. "By the way, your cheeks are turning blue. That's really weird. Does that mean that you're dying or that you're in love? Maybe both?"

"Neither!" he exclaimed, "I like Elsa, but I don't like her. Okay?"

She grinned. "So... it's more than that?"

"We are changing the subject!" he said loudly, ducking his head to the side to hide his face, before asking the question that had been nagging at his mind. "Look, what's up with you and Elsa?"

"I should be asking you the same thing," Anna replied with a smirk, crossing her arms.

"I'm serious!" Did she know about Elsa's powers? It was very unlikely; The way Elsa acted, it seemed to be a secret that only he knew.

But surely her own sister would know?

"What, uh," he said slowly, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly, "What's the story between you two?"

Anna's smugness and smiles disappeared at the question, and she looked down. "I guess she didn't tell you, huh?"

He shook his head.

She sighed. "Figures. I'd hoped that maybe she had told you, so that you could tell me." She gave another sigh, signaling an explanation. "We used to be best friends, and now she just sorta shuts me out. She never talks to me, and she ignores me, and she avoids me. I don't know if she's mad, or sad, or scared of something, but I feel like it's all my fault. And it's... it's like I'm invisible."

So she didn't know about Elsa's powers.

Jack stared at the ground, taking these words in. He knew what it felt like to feel invisible.

"What was she like before?" he asked, "You know, before she hid herself from everyone?"

Anna raised her head, and her eyes lit up. "She was fun," she told him earnestly, "We used to play outside every day, especially when Winter came..." She smiled as she reminisced. "She could make things with the snow that seemed almost magical."

"Yeah," Jack replied with a nervous chuckle, averting his eyes, "Imagine that."

"Of course you'd know all about that," she noted, nodding to the ice that clustered around his feet in the green grass, "By the way, what does the G stand for?"

"G?" he repeated, confused.

She gestured to his staff. "That was obviously carved to make a G, right? Why?"

Jack looked bemusedly at her for a moment, before holding his staff horizontally and examining the top end closely.

It did look like a G. How had he never noticed?

"I don't know," he told her honestly, "I didn't make it. I think the Moon did."

"The Moon..." she repeated dreamily, looking up at the sky, where the mid-afternoon sun hung in the air, "It's so weird, it's like my mother's story has come to life."

Jack didn't respond; The deceased queen was the last thing he wanted to talk about.

You're a murderer, Jack.

"So do you like my sister, or what?"

He jumped, coming back to the present. "I thought we changed the subject."

"Yeah, we did," Anna replied casually, "Now we're changing it back. 'Cause I was thinking, if you marry my sister-"

"Excuse me?!"

"-that would make you like my brother, right? Or, brother-in-law, but still-"

"What?!"

"-not to mention I could become an aunty, which would be awesome, can you imagine-?"

"Anna!"

Anna sighed, smiling radiantly.

"I've always wanted a big brother."

Jack looked at her for a moment, a little startled at how genuine her words were.

He cleared his throat. "Well, uh... Your sister and I are, I mean... I'm not- She's not- It's notlike that, okay? We just met like yesterday."

"What, you don't believe in love at first sight?" Anna asked, staring at him critically.

"And you do?" he replied incredulously.

"Oh yes..." Anna's hands clasped together beneath her chin as she gazed off into the distance. "I think about it every day. It'll happen when I least expect it... and by that I mean on coronation day." She sighed dreamily. "He'll be charming and dashing and handsome, and it'll be instant magic, like a dream..."

Jack fought the urge to mimic gagging.

"So..." she said after a moment, coming back to herself and ducking her head, "You should probably get back to Elsa, right?"

"Yeah, I probably should."

She scratched her arm awkwardly. "Do you think... I mean... since she actually talks to you and everything... could you...?"

"I'll talk to her," he told her, understanding what she was getting at, "But I can't make any promises. She's very, uh..."

"Yeah, I know," she said with a sigh, "Believe me."

There was a brief silence.

"Well," he said after a moment, standing up off of the edge of the stone fountain, "I'll see you later, okay?"

He started towards the castle doors.

"Jack?"

Upon hearing her call his name softly, he turned around.

Anna was looking at the ground, smiling. "Is it true that you saved my mother?"

His heart stopped, and he swallowed. Yes, I did. But I also killed her too.

Slowly, he nodded.

Anna's smile grew.

"I think that, in a way," she said quietly, "it's like you're saving Elsa too."

And with that, she hopped off of the bench and skipped away.


He peeked in through the window, urging the Wind to open it swiftly and silently, before landing lightly on the carpeted rug of the bedroom.

He was so quiet, Elsa didn't even seem to notice him.

She was sitting on the ground before the large elegant fireplace, her legs pulled to her chest and her head resting on the tops of her knees as she watched the flames flicker. She was no longer in her coronation dress, but instead wore a plain black gown with long sleeves and brass buttons that went up to her throat.

She was whispering again; He struggled to understand what she was saying.

But then, after a moment, the words were clear.

"...conceal, don't feel, conceal, don't feel..."

It was like a quiet chant. And he didn't like it all.

Closing the window quietly behind him, he walked over to her and sat beside her wordlessly, looking into the fire alongside her.

She definitely knew he was there by now, but she made no sign of showing it.

Five minutes of silence went by before she finally spoke.

"I used to think that fire was the answer," she told him, still staring straight ahead. Her voice was so quiet and soft he almost couldn't hear her over the snaps and pops of the fireplace. "When I was fifteen, I was so desperate to rid myself of this curse. I would get so close to this fireplace that I got burns." She winced at the memory. "I was young and ignorant and thought that, maybe, I could just..." She trailed off, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand as her eyes started to water.

"You thought you could just melt it away," Jack finished for her, "Like ice."

She gave a slow, shaky sigh. "Yes."

More silence.

Then, she continued. "Mother and Father weren't happy with that. They used to argue all night about it when they thought I couldn't hear. They both knew the curse couldn't be tamed by something physical like fire; It needed to be something so much more. Father thought the answer was control. Mother thought the answer was..."

She trailed off a second time.

Jack was unable to predict an ending to that sentence. "Was...?"

Elsa hesitated a moment, before shaking her head and burying her face into her arms. "It's not important."

Silence once again.

Jack cleared his throat, and shifted backwards a bit, as the heat of the fire was becoming a bit too much against his Winter skin. "I talked to your sister today."

No response.

"She's nice."

Still unresponsive.

"My ear almost fell off because she talked so much, but she's still interesting."

Nothing.

He took a deep breath, abandoning any efforts of simple small talk and getting right to the big question: "Elsa, why did you shut her out?"

She didn't look up. "I had to."

This came off as absolutely ridiculous to him, and he shook his head. "Elsa, some people don't like to be alone."

He was a bit startled when her head snapped up, and she glared at him. "Do you think I like to be alone?"

"Well," he replied, shrugging, "You shut yourself away from the entire world, so I assumed-"

"Your assumptions are wrong," she snapped, "I did that for everybody's protection. I'm sorry I wasn't lucky enough to be gifted like you."

They were both on their feet all of a sudden, about two feet apart, scowling at each other.

Something familiar sparked in Jack's chest; His temper.

"Do you think that what the Moon gave me is a gift?" he asked incredulously, his hands subconsciously balling into fists, "I didn't always use my powers to make icicles and snowflakes, Elsa."

"Then what exactly did you use them for, Jack?" she asked sharply, her eyes hard as she glared at him.

His nerve failed him, and he averted his gaze, clearing his throat. "All that I'm saying is," he said quietly, "If people could see me, I'd... I wouldn't shut people out like you do!"

That was perhaps the worst thing about it. Since she was royal, beautiful, and visible, Elsa was born with the one thing Jack wanted more that anything in the world; Attention.

And she practically threw it away by hiding within the confines of her room.

"I shut people out to keep them safe," Elsa said through grit teeth, her voice venomously quiet, "I lock myself away and avoid the world because I'm a danger to it." Her voice rose as her anger flared. "Meanwhile, you're traveling the world and seeing things that I can only dream of! Bringing joy to children everywhere, making people smile with what you do, and creating beautiful things!"She let out an irritated sigh and turned away from him for a moment, crossing her arms and silently fuming.

After a moment, she looked down, and turned around, and her next words were a soft whisper; "Jack, you have no idea what I'd give to be invisible."

Jack blinked, speechless. He had never heard her say so much at once, and with so much passion. She definitely didn't look like a queen just then; Her braid was coming undone and her eyes were blazing and her hands were balled up into fists and she was breathing heavily.

At that moment, she looked like a little girl.

A little girl who has had far too much responsibility thrust upon her shoulders.

It was snowing, and Jack wasn't sure which one of them had caused it. The small flakes drifted lightly from the ceiling and landed on the ground around them, eventually putting the dying fire out.

"I'm a monster, Jack," she told him, not meeting his eyes, "You're not. Whatever bad things you think you've done, I've done so much worse."

He looked at her a moment, still at loss for words. As he watched the snow pile up on her shoulders, line the creases in her plaited hair, land daintily on each eyelash, he felt something flicker in the center of his chest once more. Something that wasn't his temper.

Now's the time to tell her.

The waves were crashing.

But she'll never speak to you again!

The trees were bending.

She deserves to know.

The sand was swirling.

You're a murderer, Jack.

The hail was plummeting.

When are you going to tell her, Jack?

The storm was raging.

When?

"There's something I have to tell you," he told her quietly, bowing his head.

Elsa raised her head, noting the sudden somberness of his voice. "What is it?"

"Elsa..." He took a deep breath, staring at the ground. "I did it."

She looked confused. "Did what?" Her eyes widened at the look on his face, and she suddenly looked fearful. "Jack, what did you do?"

A brief moment of silence passed, but to him it seemed to go on forever.

"The storm that killed your parents three years ago..." He closed his eyes. "It was me."


*Magoa (Portuguese) - n. A heartbreaking feeling that leaves long-lasting traces that are visible in gestures, facial expressions, and general movements