Yunsung's chest hurt. He looked down at it to see it covered in blood, but curiously with no real wound. "Damn, what did I do last night?" He looked around, hoping to see empty beer bottles and some hooker he may have hired, but only found garbage surrounding his aching body. "I guess I'm still a virgin," he sighed. Only then did he come to the realization that garbage was surrounding his aching body. He also noticed that there was only a crack in the ceiling that let any light in. He was trapped in some sort of confined room with no way out.
He decided to entertain himself with a half-eaten cheeseburger and a shredded piece of paper. "This is Lieutenant Papershred reporting for duty. I am boarding the burgership and flying to planet soda bottle!" Yunsung stuck the piece of paper in between the lettuce and the onion on the burger. "Zoom, zoom! Look out for the bottlecap invaders!" He pulled the cap off the soda bottle and tossed it over his chest, missing the burger. "That was close! I need to be more careful." He placed the burger on top of the soda bottle and pulled the piece of paper out. "I have arrived at planet…"
The ceiling opened and Yunsung finally became aware of the fact that he was lying on his back in a germ-filled dumpster. The person who opened it apparently threw a leather suit in. It glided temporarily, then settled in a groove next to Yunsung's right shoulder.
"Burn in Hell, Abercrombie & Fitch Tight Leather Division!" was what Yunsung heard as a lit match fell into the dumpster, landing in the pit of the purple leather suit. The door closed again, leaving Yunsung still trapped. The suit caught fire almost instantly, and the fire started to spread past just the suit. It crept up out of the ditch it was nestled in and trickled toward Yunsung. To avoid dying a fiery death, which was one thing he promised himself not to do, he pushed himself to the side of the dumpster, shoving some of the garbage away from him, which included the burger and the paper.
When he realized what had happened, it was too late. "Lieutenant Papershred! NOOO!" He shot his hand into the fire and pulled the half burnt paper out and cuddled it, holding it to his chest. Since it was still hot, it burned his torso. "Ow! Screw you!" He threw the piece of paper into the ever-growing fire.
The dumpster opened again and another leather suit fell in, nestling directly next to the original one. "Ditto!" someone else yelled. The fire grew twice as large now. Yunsung continued to back away into the corner, but it got to the point where he couldn't escape the heat it gave off and he hit his head.
"I'm outta here." He pushed the door open; the sound of hinges squeaking loudly rattling in his ears. He stumbled out and ended up somersaulting when he tripped over the edge, and ended up falling on his stomach. He lay there for a few seconds, and lifted himself off the ground when he realized one of the leather suits was snagged on his foot. Frantic and panicking, Yunsung kicked off the suit and hurled it into a wooded area behind the alley he was in. The tree it made contact with burst into flames in seconds. "Trees are flammable? Whoa, what have I been doing these past ten years?"
Yunsung ran in the opposite direction of the blaze and out of the alleyway, avoiding the scene of the crime. No one would be able to know it was him who created the forest fire, not even that bear with the pants on TV.
As he walked out of a parking lot, which apparently belonged to a shopping mall, as well as the dumpster that housed him for the night, he noticed a small, dark brown dog following him. Yunsung didn't like dogs very much. "Go away!" he yelled. The dog continued to follow him. "Think you're cute, huh, puppy? I said go away!" The dog tilted its head to the side and stepped forward. Yunsung snarled in fury. "Stupid dog!" He ran forward, shot his leg out, and kicked the dog with all his might.
The dog traveled farther than he expected. It flew over the mall and through a football field, coincidentally over the goal post, causing an argument between the coaches of the two teams on whether the field goal was made or not, which eventually led to so much aggression that both coaches pulled out switchblades and stabbed each other. These were the first two fatalities of the day indirectly caused by Yunsung.
Yunsung pondered of the night before, when he went to dinner with Hwang and Mina. He remembered taking actions he didn't think through first, but he did that all the time. He didn't remember what the actions were, exactly. The only thing he remembered was staring at Mina's outfit, and getting a section of his hair uprooted as punishment. Mmm… Soul Calibur 2 1P… Grahhhh…he thought to himself, drooling and not realizing it. He wiped his chin and continued to think. Nope, nothing returned to his malfunctioning mind.
Except for the fact that he had promised to go out with Talim on that same night. Yunsung totally forgot, although part of that was on purpose because he would probably rather stare at Mina's outfit than go out with Talim, even though she was one of the very few people tolerant of him. Yunsung wiped more drool off his chin. Talim was probably on the warpath by now. That's the reason she was able to put up with him, she also had major emotional problems of her own. She had the strongest mood swings most people had ever seen. She was usually calm, sweet, and just cute, but wouldn't hesitate to slice someone's throat if they bumped into her and caused her to drop whatever she was holding.
Yunsung put the thought of Talim behind him and continued walking randomly. He imagined he would eventually find someone he knew, from his school or something. That he did. He recognized someone about a year younger than him, but a few inches taller named Goh. He and Yunsung were pals, right?
"Hey, Goh!" Yunsung called. Goh turned his head and his gleeful expression transformed into one of fear in less than a second.
"Oh gods, not you! Please, not you! I thought I was done with you when you left! Please, don't hurt me!" Goh slipped and fell over on his back, where he crawled backwards against the wall of a weapon store he had just left, empty-handed. He held his hands out in front of him to try to wave Yunsung off, which proved futile. Yunsung only stepped closer and closer. Goh's already loud breath sped up.
Yunsung scratched his head, raising an eyebrow. He remembered now. Goh was the kid he used to throw hydrochloric acid at in chemistry class, and the kid he always pinned against the floor and repeatedly poked him in the funny bone during training. But they were still pals, weren't they? Goh scrambled to his feet and ran off, screaming. Yunsung shrugged and resumed his journey of… something.
He strolled along, paying no attention to his surroundings. Eventually, he encountered a Frenchman with a British accent and an Italian sword. He glared toward Yunsung with fury, his upper lip seemingly shrinking and his eyes narrowing. Yunsung spun his head around, checking for anyone nearby the man could have been looking at. He saw no one. The man paced forward, revealing a red-haired little girl behind him, coming barely up to his neck, sharing the same expression of rage.
"Uh oh. What do you want?" Yunsung sighed.
"You will suffer!" the man cried out before rushing at Yunsung with his rapier aimed at his heart. The little girl followed in the same pose, with her own rapier in front. Yunsung was too startled to remember anything he learned from training, so he tossed his hands up into the air, casting his scimitar over the three sword-wielders' heads and sprinted away as fast as he could.
Yunsung hardly outran the two, predictably darting around the same handful of buildings repeatedly. They were catching up with him. Quickly thinking, he ran between two buildings, and when he arrived at the other side, he turned the corner, leapt up and grasped onto a ledge just below a second story window. He pulled his feet up so that the rapier people wouldn't notice. He looked down to see Hwang, holding an icepack to his head and staring at him. Before he could say anything to him, Yunsung held up his index finger to his mouth to prevent Hwang from saying his name.
Hwang, luckily, obeyed. When his pursuers arrived at the destination, they looked around and found no one but Hwang. "Have you seen a stupid looking Korean kid with sword like yours come by here?" the Frenchman asked Hwang. He responded by shaking his head. "He will pay in BLOOD!" the man shouted, running past Him.
"BLOOD!" the little girl repeated, following him.
Yunsung couldn't hold on any longer and dropped to the ground once his opponents disappeared from sight, but smacked his jaw on a brick, sticking out of the wall. "Thanks, man," he said, brushing the dust off his pants.
Instead of answering, 'you're welcome,' Hwang shot his hands at Yunsung's throat and squeezed. "What the hell have you done this time, you idiot!"
Yunsung grabbed Hwang's hands and pushed them away from his neck. He had to think of something to say to make him stop. He had an idea. "Why are you strangling someone that saved your life last night?"
Hwang's eyes widened. It worked. Hwang actually believed him. What an idiot. "What happened? Tell me!"
Yunsung thought. "Well, first, you… Hey look! A brown bear!" He pointed behind Hwang. Hwang didn't move. Yunsung kept thinking. "A dinosaur!" Hwang didn't move. "A lizardman!" Hwang didn't move.
A seven-foot-tall golem entered the scene, holding a giant axe in one hand and a leather sack half full of something that Yunsung couldn't see in his other hand. His jaw dropped in terror. "A golem!" He screamed. Hwang didn't move. Yunsung ran in the opposite direction of the golem as fast as he could. Hwang started to run after him, but was halted when the golem grabbed Hwang by the throat, with fingers twice as thick as the ones Mina and Hwang used to strangle Yunsung daily. Hwang dropped the icepack and choked to unconsciousness.
Yunsung could just hear the deep voice of the monster cry out, "Squirm! Scream! Scum! Skunk! Scribble! Score!" before it the creature disappeared from earshot. Panting, he sat against a wall, trying to regain his energy.
It was here that the window just above Yunsung's head opened, allowing someone to stick their arm through, wrap it around his neck, and pull back against the brick wall. Whoever's arm this was, Yunsung came to the conclusion that he or she was very strong. Neither Hwang nor Mina's strangles could cause him to temporarily stop breathing like this one could. Yunsung reached for his sword, forgetting that he had disposed of it earlier in the streets. He couldn't tear the arm away with just his hands. He was starting to become faint.
The arm pulled him inside through the window, leaving him to lie on his back. Gasping for breath, he saw the upside down image of Talim pulling her elbow blades off her waist and thrusting them both downwards at his face. Yunsung pulled his head away just in time, and the blades got stuck in the concrete floor. He rolled forward and stood half erect. It looked like he would have to defend himself with his hands.
He Talim thrust her left blade forward, only to meet the powerful blocking hand of Yunsung, who slapped the blade to the left with his right hand, leaving a giant gash on his palm. He jumped up and down, crying in pain. So, maybe his blocking hand wasn't as powerful as he expected.
He knelt on the ground, trying to quell the pain. Talim stood over him and shot both her hands downward, but Yunsung hopped off the floor and kicked both weapons out of Talim's hands. They slid across the smooth floors into separate rooms. Disoriented, she received a powerful bitch slap across her right cheek from Yunsung's left hand.
"You sunuva!" She returned the favor with a swift groin kick. Yunsung keeled over on the floor for the third time. "Where the f were you last night!" she screamed, kicking him in the sides.
Yunsung didn't have a chance to respond, as the wall behind him suddenly exploded. He couldn't see what was happening behind the giant piece of granite that covered his face, but did hear someone say, "Ahoy, ye scurvy mongrels!"
Next Chapter: Maxi's Story
