Chapter7 Formulating

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Christine returned home once again to an empty house. She guessed Raoul was at yet another meeting he seemed to be attending a lot of them lately. It felt like he was spending more time away from her than he did with her. Christine had imagined a magical world when she left with Raoul. It was true he lavished her with more material goods than she could ever wish for. The times she did spend with him were wonderful but they always felt so rushed, as they tried to cry two weeks worth of love and devotion into two days.

It was only when she was lying alone in her and Raoul's bed waiting for him to come home that she realised what a mistake she had made. Erik had offered her everything. He had risked everything for her, he had given her everything he had along with his love.

Now she'd lost her chance. He was with Mme Giry. Did that mean he had never loved her, or were his feelings for her simply not as deep as she had thought? Surely he still felt something for her. She wasn't about to let that women stand in her way. She was his angel of music what could she mean to him that could be stronger than that?

"The woman who saved his life," a voice at the back of her mind reminder her. "I hid him from the world and its cruelties."

She knew it would take something big to drive him away from her. She had always known there was something between them. There was a look in his eyes that only appeared when he saw her, her suspicions were confirmed when Raoul had told her of how she had rescued him from the travelling fair. There was a deep connection between then that she could not deny no matter how hard she tried.

She lit the fire and sat by it thinking hard. She had denied him and now he was denying her. She could feel hot tears stinging her eyes. She needed something big something he could never forgive her for, something that would drive him from her to him. Part of her felt slightly guilty at doing this to the woman who had taken her in when she had no where else to go. Her want for Erik and her jealously soon overrode those feelings. She became determined to win Erik back no matter what it took.

She had spent her time in the Opera House in the lime light, she was used to being the centre of attention and always getting what she wanted. Christine didn't too kindly to being forced out of the lime light and live a normal life.

All I want is freedom, a world with no more night . . . and you always beside me to hold me and to hide me . . .

Was that really what she wanted? Maybe she secretly longed the Phantom's attention. She didn't like it when he stopped coming to visit her even for a few days but then cut him out when Raoul was there. She wanted both and thought she could get both.

"Past all thought of right and wrong."

A smile formed on her lips as a plan formulated in her mind. She was fully aware of the hurt it would cause but she didn't care. She remembered something she had found out years ago, something that could destroy Mme Giry and her relationship with Erik.

She smiled more when she thought of how Erik would soon be back with her.

"Glad to see you looking so happy my dear," Raoul said wrapping his arms around Christine.

Christine jumped she had been so deep in thought she hadn't heard him come in. "Raoul I didn't hear you come in," she said turning to face him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said kissing her mass of curls.

Christine said nothing his touch had no effect on her. Her feelings for Raoul were based on a childhood fantasy and illusion. The reality was bland and dull. "Just a surprise to see you home that's all," she said coolly.

Raoul sighed. "I know I'm sorry Little Lottie, I hate leaving you like this hopefully it won't go on too much longer," he said.

Christine nodded. Raoul kissed her again and went upstairs to change leaving Christine alone again. "no this wont go on much longer," she muttered to herself.