Chapter 7 Hawke, Friend or Foe
Elf, Dwarf, Whore, Girl, and Mage. Hawke never really called anyone by their name other than Bethany and Aveline. Occasionally he will call Fenris by his name, but mostly called him Elf. He didn't care to get to know hardly anyone's name. He did not care to know honestly. It wasn't that he was bad at names. It was just that he didn't care to bother getting to know someone. Other than the obvious of him being horrible at making friends. He would never remember a name unless the person proves themselves. Or Maker forbid pique his twisted sense of interest. The man was rather dark hearted. Even more so when it concerned his veiw on simple pleasures. But that was beside the point. For the last few days -or in this case three weeks- the group has been trying their damn best to befriend the oversized violent male. Yet it seemed very difficult. Mainly because. Hawke just hated making friends. Though that didn't stop the gang from trying.
Varric sure didn't give up on trying to make the large man laugh. Though the dwarf figured his sense of humor was vastly different from the big scary human's. Varric shudder the thought of what could possibly be concidered as funny to the man. Varric stared at the ground silently as he rubbed the back of his neck. Having to look up at Hawke was like trying not have a hangover after getting shitfaced drunk. Though he was a bit glad to not have to worry about making constant eye contact with man. Varric always got the strange feeling of drowning when he looked the man in the eye. It was down right creepy if you asked him. Varric kept staring at the ground finding more interest in the small catepillar inching its way across the ground. Wonder how that fella got into the Keep? Anyway. Hawke was ranting about something or other to Aveline. Varric wasn't sure. The guy talked way too damn fast for even him. Most of it literally flew over his head. Aveline was going on about Captian Jeven. Here is how Varric understood it. Aveline gets pissed at the captian. In turn Hawke gets pissed about how Captain screamed at Aveline. Hawke nearly walked into the captian's office. Varric assumed it was to bite the guy's head off. Aveline convinced him not to and then went to check the roster.
Besides Varric stood Fenris and Bethany. Bethany remained quiet as she looked at her brother. Fenris seemed to busy himself with something on his guantlet. Glancing up and down quickly looking through his hair. Meanwhile Hawke glared a very large dagger in the general direction of the office. It was a wonder why he didn't bulldoze the door down. The guy was literally a walking battering ram. Well. Other than Aveline. Either way. Varric was the only one scared shitless of both regardless. "Donnic's patrol is in Lowtown tonight. We need to get going." Aveline said after speaking with another guard. Hawke let off a snort. "I better be paid for this shit." Aveline turned to him. "Hawke. I hardly ever ask anything from you. Could you at least do this to help?" She asked. Hawke glared at her. "I will find a way to pay you. Alright?" Hawke let off an aggravated sigh. There was no pleasing that man. You could give him a handful of gold and he would complain it was heavy. Hawke swung around and stalked off out of the barracks to the main room of the Keep. Aveline sighed. "You know he isn't going to ask for money Aveline. You're his friend, after all." Bethany spoke up. The ginger guard looked at the young mage. "I say he is my friend. He says I am a sister-in-arms." Aveline responded. "Well that means he sees you as a friend! I think. The way he glared at your captian's office should say how he actually feels. Brother never really tells anyone how he feels." Bethany said. Aveline let out a sigh, "Which forces you to be his translator. Wonderful." Varric looked around and then spoke up. "Uh. Where did big, tall, and scary go to?" Aveline hurried off to the main room of the Keep while being followed by the other three. Hawke was no where in sight. "Think he got lost?" Varric questioned. "Borhter would stick out in a crowd like this. He might have went outside." Bethany voiced. "Good idea. Let's find him before he hurts someone." Aveline said leading the way.
Outside the Viscount's Keep, Hawke busied himself with a drink under one of the overlooking balconies of Hightown. Despite his size, he hid rather well in the shadows. He coughed slightly as he held his chest. He hurt as he coughed. But he soon chased it with his drink. Shuddering from the feeling. He tried to bask in the sensation until his high was disrupted by Aveline. "I swear Hawke. I will find out where you hide all those damn bottles. And I will break them." Aveline huffed glaring up at Hawke. He just realized that Aveline took the bottle from him. He let out a threatening snarl. Hawke stilled himself to speak slowly. "I suggest you give that back, now Guardswoman." He drawled. Aveline shook her head. "I need you to be lucid and not inebriated, Hawke." She scolded. "If I... Wish to be a besotted fuck... Then I shall... I don't need you telling me what to do." Hawke growled in responce. Getting Aveline to match his attitude as she clenched her hands into fists. Bethany took this moment to stand between them. "Brother." Bethany pleaded looking her brother in the eye. He seemed to grow silent at her voice. "Please try to take it easy on that. I really don't want to tell Mother that you had to be dragged to the clinic." She spoke softly while she put her hands on his arms. Hawke let out a pained sigh as he turned from his sister to walk off without grabbing the bottle from Aveline. Bethany looked down and sighed her own worry. "I wonder what Leandra thinks about his addiction..." Aveline said lowly with wonder.
"I recently found out that Mother doesn't know what is exactly in the drink." Bethany said taking in a deep breath.
"Wait. Your mother doesn't know?" Aveline said looking at the small mage.
"I found out my brother was drinking that stuff when he was very young. Both me and Carver saw. He told us to never tell mother or father."
"Sunshine. That kind of addiction needs to be brought to your mother's attention." Varric said walking up to her.
"It would kill Mother, though... Brother used to be a lot worse until he started drinking. Mother thought it was because of her staying up with him at night that helped."
"What are you getting at Bethany?" Fenris questioned. The first time he spoken all day.
"Brother had night terrors that made him scream in pain. Brother hardly slept back then. He was always tired. Always sick. It would wake me and Carver up. Father would tell us to go back to sleep. But hearing brother scream was scary. When he started drinking though. He stopped screaming in his sleep. He only tossed and turned. The more he drank the more soundless his sleep would get. Mother thought it was because of her taking care of him." Bethany was slightly crying as she wiped her face. The others remained silent. Bethany then looked up at them and nearly begged. "Please don't tell mother! Or Brother that I told you!" Aveline and the others looked amungst each other and nodded. "We won't tell. It will be our secret." Aveline said as the two guys nodded their heads.
Varric put his hand on Bethany's arm getting her to look at him. "I won't tell anyone this. But... Why not tell your brother we know?" He asked.
"Brother would be upset and he might end up never talking to you guys ever again. He finally has friends. I don't want him being alone." She confessed. Fenris shifted slightly as he wondered where Hawke could be right now. He voiced his puzzlement. "Should we go find Hawke?" The others turned to Fenris and agreed with him. "We should head to Lowtown. If he really does care about helping a friend then he must be going to Donnic's route." Aveline said as she lead the way to Lowtown.
The sun was slowly fading as they reached Lowtown. It was near time for Donnic's patrol. Varric ran into the Hanged Man to check for Hawke. Varric came back out and said he wasn't in there. Corff never saw him walk in. Aveline sighed as she lead the way down the stairs. The sound of fighting was heard in an alleyway. Aveline drew her sword and sheild and ran towards the disturbance. The four ran into the alley and saw Hawke standing amungst dead theives. He held his battle axe aloft in one hand and in the other he held a theif who was screaming for his life. "Some one! Please Help!" The theif yelled. Hawke tilted his head and gave a wicked smile. Before slamming his head angling the sharp spikes of his eyepatch into the man's face. The spikes sinking into his eyes and mouth as he let out a choked scream. Blood drained from where the crude metal penetrated the man's head. Hawke jerked his head twice pulling free while ripping bits of flesh from the man before dropping him to the ground. Hawke let out a low laugh as he slammed his axe into the now dead man's back. Aveline and the others walked further into the alley. The theives were all dead and torn to peices. "You really do get results... Don't you, Hawke." Varric shuddered. There infront of Hawke was Donnic. Hawke stalked his way over to the unconscious guard. Aveline rushed ahead of Hawke to wake Donnic. Hawke stopped as his foot landed beside the satchel. He bent down and opened it. It was full of papers that made no sense to him. "That is the seal of the Viscount. Looks like Jeven is selling city accounts. Seems he makes money on the side." Varric said peeking into the bag around Hawke's large frame. Fenris stayed quiet. He was simply in awe at the amount of blood and the sheer barbarous sight around him. That man alone could kill this many people on his own. It was simply stupifing.
Donnic was awoken and seemed to fall head over heel's for Aveline. He stuttered as he saw the carnage around him. He held his breath as he looked at Hawke next. The Man had blood coming from his headgear and his hands. He noticed the others didn't have blood on them. He decided it was better he didn't know. He thanked Aveline and hurriedly limped back to Hightown. Aveline turned to look upon Hawke who seemed distant at the moment. Aveline was unable to rouse Hawke from whatever trance he was in. So she told the others that tomorrow Hawke was to meet her in the keep. She then took her leave of the area. Bethany walked over to her brother and tried to talk to him. "Brother..." Hawke slowly slid his eye to focus on his smaller sibling. "Go... Home Bethany. Tell Mother I will be late." He droned. Bethany backed up and nodded to her older brother before turning around and leaving without complaint. Hawke didn't turn to the other two but simply spoke over his shoulder. "Go home you two. I will dispose of the bodies." Varric shuffled his feet. "You know I can get my contacts to clean up this mess, Hawke." He said looking around. Hawke let out a groan. "I enjoy the feeling of blood on my body. Carting off the dead is an added bonus. After all..." He said bending his knee to lay his hand on the man he gored like a bull. "You learn a few things when keeping your family safe..." He said lowly. Varric backed up slightly to stand beside Fenris. Fenris glanced down at Varric. "So you consider Aveline as family?" Varric questioned. Hawke merely grunted before standing up again. "Okay... I don't think Hawke is listening anymore." Varric said with a shrug. Fenris couldn't help but over hear Hawke was talking. He glanced at Varric who turned around to count just how many people tried to jump Donnic. "He isn't going to hear what I say, Elf. He assumes I am muttering something incoherent. So don't say a word. Least He thinks you are answering a voice in your head." Hawke said directly to Fenris turning to face him. Fenris took note that Varric didn't hear a thing Hawke just said. "Damn. It takes fifthteen people to try and take out a single guard? Shit. How did Hawke manage that?" Varric said turning to Fenris. "I am unsure Varric." The elf responded. "I just let the dumbfucks come to me. Then I gut them like pigs to a slaughter." Hawke said with a creepy laugh. Varric turned to Hawke. "Well. He finds something amusing. Probably the corpses. Hey. Fenris. Want to head over to the Hanged Man for a pint?" Varric asked. "Maybe another time Varric." Fenris said waving the dwarf off. "Suit yourself, Broody. I'll see you and Hawke tomorrow." Varric siad with a wave as he walked out of the alleyway.
"How is it that he still doesn't hear you?" Fenris questioned.
"The dwarf is smart. But he isn't a genious. He doesn't have the compacity to understand. Unlike you, Elf." Hawke spoke while toying with the bits of meat hanging from his headgear.
"Is it because of that drink?"
"Some of it yes. You had the ability to understand before the drink. You just didn't get the full meaning behind some of my words. Reason why I wanted you to drink it so badly. The drink isn't entirely made of poison you know."
"I see. Question if I may."
"What is it?"
"Why did you chose me?"
"Other than the obvious. You are smarter than the rest of that lot put together. Not counting Aveline and the Dwarf."
"Well. That's flattering..."
"It is a simple observation. Most assume I am nothing but muscle with no brain to function in a normal civil discussion. If they knew just how intelligent I was. Their brains would give out from trying to wrap around the idea in itself."
"It is overwhelming for people to discover just how knoweldgeable you truely are. I was baffled by it after I found out. My first impression of you was strict and hostile. Your appearance was daunting yet you command respect with each breath you take. You would make a perfect magister if you were a mage."
"I don't like magic, but I can't live without it either. There would be no fun in the world. Besides. Magic can't fully heal a person who is broken." Hawke said as he started to finally clean himself off.
"..." Fenris tilted his head slightly. What was that suppose to mean? Sure magic has its benefits and faults. In some way Hawke was right. Fenris was about to say something in responce but Hawke spoke first.
"This conversation is over, elf. I suggest we find something else to do."
Fenris nodded lightly as Hawke walked to stand beside him. The blood still visable on the sharp spikes jutting out from the larger man's hair. "Aveline wants you to be at the Viscount's Keep tomorrow." Fenris said unsure of what else to say in that moment. "I know. I heard her." Hawke replied as he started walking. Fenris felt the silence of the walk slowly circle around him as they made their way to the front of the Hanged Man. "After checking in with Aveline. Do you want to come by for a visit?" Fenris asked looking up at the larger man through the fringe of his hair. He watched the man quietly. Taking note on how dark and somber the other man's hair was compared to the nearly pale ghost like skin of the man's face. A startling differance compared to his own shock ivory hair and dusky skin lined with trials of shimmering light blue lines of lyrium. How was that man Fereldan if his skin was so pale? His sister had slightly tanned skin akin to those who come from the country. Just like the refugees, whom where from Fereldan as well. Fenris jumped slightly as Hawke's dark voice cut through the air in response to Fenris's question. "Why the fuck not. Not like I have anything better to do." Fenris nodded in acknowledgement as he turned to walk through the closed Lowtown market back to Hightown. "Elf. Why don't you meet my Mother. She would enjoy tending to other person." Hawke said without so much as looking at Fenris. "I... Of course." Fenris said turning to catch up with Hawke as he walked to the slums of Lowtown. 'Does this make me his friend?' Fenris wondered to himself. "So. Hawke... Does..." Fenris started before he thought about what to say. "This mean I am a more tursted companion?" He seemed to ask. Hawke didn't give much thought before answering, "Not really. You only have my respect. And my interest. But a friend... Friends just get in the way and make people weak. I am just using you to make Mother stop pestering me about getting friends." The large man spoke. "Well. At least you're honest about it." Fenris scowled slightly. "Anyway. What of Aveline? Is she not your friend?" He prodded. "No. She is family. Considering that she lived with my family for six months before getting the job as a guard. She says we are friends. It makes her feel better to think she can help and protect me." Said Hawke. Fenris tilted his head slightly. "Is there a way by chance I do manage to befriend you?" He continued to question. "The moment I befriend you will result in someone in my family dieing. That is how Aveline manage to go about becoming part of the family. Carver died... Aveline merely took his place..." The man droned soon falling silent as he ascended the stairs to Gamlen's hovel. Fenris decided it was best to remain quiet. After all the man's past is his own. He should not pry at Hawke least it would result in the large man ignoring him.
Hawke opened the door to the house and was quickly greeted by his mother. "There you are Jake. Bethany said you would be late." Leandra said walking over to her son and reached for the head gear. "Jake. You're covered in blood!" She started pulling her hand back. "I... Am fine Mother. I dealt with some thugs earlier. Also. A stray elf followed me home." Said Hawke as he rolled his shoulders ignoring Fenris's remark. "You asked me to come, Hawke." Fenris hissed standing behind Hawke in the door way. Leandra got curious as to who it was. Hawke moved and walked to the fire place. Hawke set down his battle axe. Leandra watched as she saw Fenris finally walk into the house. He bowed to her. "Madam." He spoke softly keeping his voice and head low. Why? He wasn't sure. He assumed Hawke's mother was just as demanding. Why he thought that was unsure. "What mannors! Aw sweetie you don't have to be so formal. After all. I am not even proper!" Leandra said dusting off her old dress. As if trying to look presentable. "Please do make yourself welcome. You must be Fenris. Jake refers to you as Elf. Bethany told me. Jake should really call you by your name. Is it true he doesn't call any of his friends by their names?" She asked. Hawke snorted a bit. "We... are not really his friends. As he says. But it is fine. I have been called worse." Fenris responded. "Mother is very iffy about the whole not calling you lot by ya'lls names. She is very presistant. Like you, Elf." Hawke said quickly. Fenris looked at Leandra to see her responce to him but she said nothing. 'That's right. They don't hear him when he speaks quickly. They assume he is muttering. Just like how Varric did.' Fenris thought to himself with interest. Hawke spoke slowly in the next instant. "If you are finished... With conversing with my Mother. You can leave." Leandra turned to Hawke and shushed him. "Fenris can stay as long as he wants. Now be hospitable. He is a guest in our home after all." Leandra turned back to Fenris and ushered him further into the house then closing the door behind him. "Thank you...Ma'am." Fenris said with a nod. "Oh Dear why don't you call me Leandra." Fenris gave another nod. He watched as Hawke sat down and Leandra walking over to him. 'So Hawke's given name is Jake. Usurper of Thrones... Fitting name for that man. His presense in a room practically demands respect as he imbodies power in the physical form. If the man truely wanted to. He could run this town... And then some.' Fenris observed silently. He watched as Leandra took the headgear off of Hawke. It was an eye patch of sorts. Made completely out of metal. It was rather like a strange mask for half the man's face. It made the elf curious on what layed exactly beneath the other man's ebony hair.
For the rest of the night. Leandra insisted that Fenris spend the night. She even suggested that Hawke share his room. Which the man let off a disapproving growl but he didn't argue with his mother. Fenris walked into the small room that held a large bed. It was obvious that Leandra and Bethany gave Hawke the biggest bed. Which groaned under the man's weight. Then again it was very old. "You can sleep in the bed. If you truely wish to spend the night." Hawke said without slowling his speech. "Well. Your mother was rather insistant. She wouldn't let me leave." Fenris responded. He then realized that Hawke offered his bed. "Wait. There is no other bed..." Fenris said as the tips of his ears turned red slightly. Hawke reached under the bed and pulled out a smaller mattress. Well that made things less awkward. Fenris really didn't want to sleep next to the large man. Not that there was anything wrong. It wasn't like they were the opposite sex. It just seemed strange to share a bed with another man. Especially with one who made his interests known. Fenris shuffled in his spot as Hawke put some clean bandages under his long hair on the right side. He wasn't facing Fenris so the elf didn't exactly see what laid beneath the hair. Hawke then laid down on his back on the larger bed letting off a grunt. Fenris sighed and pulled the smaller mattress away from the bed. Now having an odd fear of what could happen if Hawke ever rolled out of bed. Fenris didn't want to wake up being crushed by that man. He laid down and kept his armor on. Just the same as Hawke. It was strange to be sleeping in a house with other people in it. He shrugged and soon fell to sleep. A strange feeling of peace easing into the small room around him.
Hawke listened as Fenris's breathing evened out. Indicating he was asleep. He turned his head to look at the smaller man. What was he doing? Why was he letting that damn bastard elf get close to him? Why did he enjoy the blasted bastard's presence? Hawke frowned as he growled. He needed to remind himself not to get close to the damn elf. If he ended up getting close to that elf. Then he would surely became weak like he did all those years ago. Friends just slow people down and get in their way. He didn't want having to play babysitter to the stray. He needed to finish getting the money to fund the Expedition and ditch the group of people who continue to follow him about. He forced himself to shut the walls surrounding his heart to close even more tightly than before. He didn't want anyone getting close to him. He didn't want to be weak. His interactions with the elf was far enough as it was. He could not let it go any further. Now. If only he could stay true to it. A part of him wanted the company but the other part wanted to hide. He growled as he turned over and went into a sleepless night of tossing and turning. His mind racing with feelings and desires not entirely welcomed. The concept of friends... To have them again... He couldn't. He just couldn't risk it. He would rather have enemies. Those he could kill when they angered him but friends? You can't kill a friend and not feel anything. Even he was not as heartless as he appeared. Which only made Hawke loathe himself even more. Building the wall around his heart even higher and thicker than before. What was he suppose to be anyway? Was he a friend? Or a foe? For that group of people. He wasn't so sure himself. This... Needs to be rectified. Before it is too late. Before... There is no turning back...
Sleep finally catching up to him.
