DISCLAIMER: I don't own Death Note or its characters, I merely apply what I consider to be improvements to them. I don't own wasabi either apart from this one hellish tube. Like L, I love it even though it's evil XD
The quote on the summary is from Richard and Linda Thompson, I Want to See the Bright Lights.
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L stared down at the dinner table.
"It's English food, Ryuuzaki," Raito said. "I thought you'd like it. We should eat before we go out, it's bad for you to drink alcohol on an empty stomach."
"Yes, I know, Raito-kun," L murmured, wondering how to tell Raito –
"What's wrong with it?" Raito said.
"Wrong?" said L. "Nothing, Raito-kun, it looks delicious. Apart from one thing."
"What thing?"
"Um, you're supposed to take the potatoes out of the water before you serve them."
"Oh. No wonder it seemed so horrible!" Raito grabbed the serving dish. "No harm done, I can drain them now."
"Thank you," said L, quietly contemplating the advisability of substituting wasabi for English mustard. "Are you sure about this expedition tonight?"
"Don't start that again, Ryuuzaki!" came from the kitchen. "Even my father told us to go out!"
"He told us to go out and get some fresh air, Raito-kun. Not to go out merely to go in somewhere else and spend the evening surrounded by cigarette smoke and alcohol fumes."
"You'll love it!" said Raito, ignoring the evidence. "I called that shop and asked the guys there where we should go out."
"I'm not sure I want to go anywhere they'd recommend," L protested as his lover breezed back in with a dish of potatoes that actually looked edible.
"Well, I asked them for somewhere we'd like to go, Ryuuzaki, not somewhere they'd like to go," said Raito, spooning potatoes onto L's plate. "These are incredibly white, aren't they? Anyway, they're meeting us there, so we'll already know somebody."
"We're going out with two half-naked men?" L was appalled.
"I'm sure they'll have some clothes on tonight," Raito said.
"And talking of clothes, those jeans you had Watari buy me are far too tight," L complained. "I like to be able to move in my clothing."
"You obviously haven't been exposed to the wonders of lycra."
"Lycra?"
"They stretch. You can move as much as you like." said Raito. "You can dance in them and everything."
"L does not dance," said L.
"Then it's about time L started," said Raito. "Now stop being so damn difficult about everything and hurry up with your dinner. You still have to get dressed and I have to disguise you."
"I wish you'd tell me what you mean by that," L said, dubiously.
"You'll like it." Raito assured him.
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"Aaaargh!" said L, recoiling from the mirror.
"What's wrong?" said Raito, looking offended. "You look wonderful, Ryuuzaki! Very goth."
"Is it really necessary for me to wear so much – make up?"
"It's just a bit of eyeliner!"
"It's half a mile of eyeliner, Raito-kun! And why is my hair full of silver glitter?"
"It's pretty!"
"You want me to look pretty?" L asked.
"Um, no" Raito gave his lover a nervous glance. "It's, uh, macho glitter. Shards of broken glass and wire, stuff like that. It's too late to change it now anyway, we need to be going."
"But Raito-kun has spent so long playing dolls with me that he is not dressed," said L, rather maliciously.
"Shit, I knew I forgot something!" said Raito in alarm, whisking off into the bedroom.
He returned some time later dressed in white. White shirt, white pants, white shoes and a liberal application of the silver glitter that L had spent the intervening time trying to brush out of his hair. With no success.
L looked at Raito. Looked down at his own black jeans, black t-shirt, black leather jacket.
"Is there something symbolic going on here, Raito-kun?" he enquired.
"Only if you want to see it, Ryuuzaki," said Raito sweetly.
"I'm the bad guy?" L said. "I think you should – "
"I just thought it'd look good," said Raito, hastily. "Now let's go for God's sake, it'll be time to come home before we get there!"
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As Watari drove away, after giving L a look that distinctly said are you sure you know what you're doing, L looked around him with dismay. It was crowded. The street outside the club was full of people glad-ragged and gleaming, and it looked like most of them were heading for the same destination as L and Raito.
"Busy," said Raito, looking around him with interest. "Let's go in."
L took a deep breath. Told himself it was normal to be cautious in an unfamiliar situation. Looked at the bustle of people with dismay.
"What's wrong, Ryuuzaki?" Raito had turned around, noticing his lover had not moved.
"Ryuga," said L. "Call me Ryuga here. And you're Light."
"Yes, I know, but what's the matter? Don't you want to do this?" Raito took L's arm, an expression of concern on his face. "You don't have to worry. I'll take care of you."
"L does not need protection from anything, Yagami-kun!" L hissed in Raito's ear.
"Then why is L looking so damn nervous!" Raito whispered back.
L drew himself up to his full height and walked into the club. Making sure he didn't walk too fast. Independence was one thing, but losing Raito and being alone in the crowd was a horror not to be considered.
"You're here!" L turned to see Shiro and Toshi rushing toward them before they both enveloped Raito in an enthusiastic hug. Despite Raito's assurances, L noticed that the boys seemed to be wearing even less than the last time he saw them. And Raito's hands were touching naked skin – L found himself very uncomfortable with that idea.
"This is Tristan!" said Shiro, dragging a young man toward them. "He's our seme!"
L raised his eyebrows in surprise, taking in Tristan's appearance, tall, thin, Caucasian, bespectacled, his blond hair cut anyhow and – zits? He couldn't imagine a more unlikely boyfriend for the colorful pair – wait a minute –
"You only have one boyfriend between you?" he asked.
"He's all we need!" said Shiro, groping Tristan quite obviously. "He's like a wild animal, aren't you honey?"
"I'm a stampeding rhinoceros," Tristan agreed cheerfully. "Pleased to meet you, uh – "
"Light," said Raito. "This is Ryuga. My boyfriend."
"You're Japanese?" Tristan gave L a questioning look. "You don't look it."
"Partly," said L. "A small part."
"Not like Tristan!" said Toshi, grabbing his seme and joining in the gropefest.
"How about you?" said Raito. "You're not Japanese?"
"He's American," said Shiro. "From New York City. We're going to go visit him there!"
"What brings you to Tokyo, Tristan-san?" L enquired.
"I'm a writer," said Tristan. "Mysteries – I'm writing a book set in Tokyo."
"With a murderer!" said Toshi. "Like Kira!"
"Not like Kira," said Tristan, reprovingly. "Mine's not so indiscriminate."
"You don't approve of Kira?" L said.
"Just because I write about murder doesn't mean I think it's a good idea, Ryuga-san," the American said with a smile. "In my opinion, Kira's nothing more than an overblown vigilante. He flouts the judicial system, making excuses that he's helping improve the world, but his real motivation seems to be self-aggrandizement."
"You see him as being someone who craves power, then?" L asked.
"I feel that perhaps he's a person who has little power in his own life," said Tristan. "He's somehow become able to influence the lives and behaviour of a great number of people and it's gone to his head. I think he's probably mentally unstable. And very childish, to be able to delude himself that he's working for the good of humanity when in fact what he's doing is wiping out a large portion of it. How about you, Ryuga-san, what do you think of Kira?"
"I have a very similar view of him," said L, then caught sight of Raito's expression. "Perhaps not so extreme."
"Where are you from, Ryuga-san?" Tristan asked, with a smile.
"I have a house in Ireland," said L. "Just outside Dublin."
"Not too far outside, I hope," said Tristan. "My uncle lives over there, in Dun Laoghaire?"
L nodded.
"The roads are terrible," Tristan went on. "Visiting him plays hell with my suspension. And the drivers are even worse. Worse than New York drivers, which is saying something."
"I generally take the DART if I have to go outside the city," L said.
"Yeah, that's one thing about Dublin, great public transport," Tristan said. "You have the DART for rail and plenty of buses. So what are you doing here in Tokyo?"
"Research," said L. "At the University."
"Is that how you two met?" Tristan glanced at Raito.
"I'm a student," Raito said, giving Tristan a wary glance.
"Come and dance with us!" Shiro dragged on Tristan's arm, obviously bored with the conversation.
Tristan rolled his eyes. "Nice talking to you Ryuga-san."
L watched as he was dragged onto the dance floor, wondering how such an unprepossessing individual had acquired two such cute boyfriends. Of course, he had an interesting personality – was that enough? Or perhaps he had remarkable sexual prowess? With two uke boyfriends, he'd have to have, wouldn't he?
"He asks too many questions," said Raito, rather sulkily.
"He's a writer," L reached for his glass. "They're curious about everything."
"You like him," Raito accused.
"Yes, why not? He's interesting."
"Oh, and I'm not?" Raito said, a pout beginning to form.
"Of course you are, Raito-kun, but you're not the only interesting person in the world," L said, thoughtlessly. The expression on Raito's face told him that had been entirely the wrong thing to say.
"That's nice," the teenager huffed. "Don't think I don't know what you find interesting about me! You only like me because of how I look and because I'm submissive to you, you want a conversation and you go get it from someone else!"
"This is hardly the time and place to discuss Raito-kun's insecurities," L said, knowing that wasn't going to help Raito's mood either, but tired of giving in to him.
"What? I'm not insecure!"
"If Raito-kun thinks I prefer some random man I just met over him, then he is decidedly insecure," said L, coldly.
"Well, I'm glad you found someone you have something in common with, Ryuuzaki!" Raito hissed. "You're both intelligent, you're both the same age and you both have boyfriends you keep around for their willingness to put out!"
"Raito-kun is generalising abysmally," L said, the words of I Predict A Riot suddenly starting to run through his head. "And he is becoming hysterical."
"I'm not hysterical!" Raito yelled, hysterically. "I'm justifiably annoyed because my boyfriend only wants me for my body!"
"You're being ridiculous, Raito," L said, standing up. "Your body has nothing to do with this."
"So you don't want my body?" Raito also stood up, leaning forward to glare into the detective's face.
"Of course I do," said L. "In fact I have something I want to do with it right now."
"You have got to be joking, Ryuuzaki! You insult me and then – "
"I didn't insult you, Raito, you insulted yourself," said L, taking the younger man's arm. "Come and dance with me."
"Dance?" Raito's rageometer slid down a notch. "But – I thought you said you don't want to – "
"I changed my mind," said L, hauling Raito onto the dance floor and clasping him tightly in his arms, which he had to admit was inappropriate for the track that was playing.
"What's this?" the detective murmured into his lover's ear.
"Huh? I can't hear you..."
"What's the music!" L yelled.
"Puretone! Addicted To Bass!"
"I like it!"
"Yeah! It's good! Do you really think I'm insecure!"
"Yes!"
"Why would I be like that!"
"I don't know!"
"Yes you do, or you wouldn't have said it!"
"You're not used to intimacy! You find it difficult to deal with because it's unfamiliar! You don't know how to cope with something you're not immediately good at! You're threatened by having to make allowances for someone else's needs apart from your own!"
"You make me sound like a wonderful person!"
"You are a wonderful person! Just a little fucked up as well!"
"Thanks!"
"You're welcome!"
"I was being sarcastic!"
"So was I!"
"We're dancing wrong for this!"
"I don't want to dance any other way!"
"Are you being romantic!"
"No, I'm dubious about my dancing abilities! I've only ever done it in private!"
"I see I'm not the only one who's insecure!"
"I never denied it, Raito!"
The music faded away as L and Raito glared at each other.
"What's this?" Raito said as an insistent drum beat started up.
"Underworld!" said L, moving away from his lover.
"You like techno?" Raito stared in amazement at the suddenly spiralling L. "Okay, I'll take that as a yes..."
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"Nice moves!" Shiro called out to L when he and Raito eventually returned to their table.
"Thank you," L said, feeling – what was he feeling? Embarrassed? Pleased? Thirsty, mostly...
"Telling me you didn't dance," Raito said disgustedly, taking the only available seat. He glanced around. "You'll have to sit on my lap, Ryuga."
"You could sit on my lap, Light," said L.
"That doesn't make sense. You weigh less than me."
L leaned forward, whispered in Raito's ear. "L does not sit on laps!"
"How about Ryuuzaki," Raito murmured back. "Does he do that?" At which point he took advantage of L's unbalanced stance to grab him. L found himself swept onto the chair on top of Raito. Deciding that it was more undignified to struggle than to stay where he was, he merely gave his lover a black look.
"That's better," Raito said.
"Better in what way, Light?" L asked.
"I don't know," said Raito. "Just better."
"Because you have made me look like the kind of boyfriend who sits on laps?" L asked.
"Why are we arguing so much?" Raito asked, pulling L closer and stroking a hand through his hair.
"I don't know. Why do you think it is?"
"Maybe we're both insecure. About our relationship."
"That seems like a workable theory, Light-kun," L agreed.
"So what are you insecure about?" Raito said.
"You first," said L.
"Well – you don't live in Japan. I don't know if you're at all serious about this. Maybe you're just amusing yourself with me. Maybe you do this all the time."
"I hardly think you could believe that, Raito-kun!" L whispered angrily. "You know that I never do this at all!"
"Usually I can tell when people are lying to me," Raito mused. "But not you. I'm never sure with you."
"Then you'll just have to believe me, won't you," said L.
"You haven't told me anything to believe," Raito said, rather sadly.
"You want declarations?" said L.
"Only if they're true, Ryuuzaki," Raito stared down at L's hands, then took one in his own, stroked it.
"I need a drink," L said, getting up.
"I'll go," Raito stood up quickly and left before L could argue about it. Instead, he took the opportunity to claim the chair. Wondered how to put things right between them. After a few moments thought, he came up with two methods. One of them, stating his feelings to Raito, seemed to be beyond his ability to perform just now. No matter how he imagined saying that – well, he just couldn't imagine saying it. Obviously his own insecurities were getting in the way and that was annoying. Would have to be dealt with. Maybe he could write it down? Why wasn't it nearer Valentine's Day? And Raito's birthday was even further away. It didn't seem such a difficult thing to do, but – the boy was Kira. Had been Kira. L decided that perhaps he was justifiably nervous about putting his heart into the hand of a murderer.
There was another way. From the things Raito had said, L could infer that he was seeing himself as some kind of sex toy, a plaything for Ryuuzaki's lust. Which was ridiculous, but in the course of his internet explorations, L had come to realise that love often was ridiculous. That people in love apparently took leave of a great part of their higher cognitive powers and were prey to all kinds of disturbing emotional effects. He was uncomfortable aware that he was not immune to this himself – seeing Raito being hugged by the two half naked young men earlier had certainly aroused a strong feeling of jealousy or perhaps possessiveness.
So how to make Raito feel more secure with the situation? There was an obvious physical way to show him that he wasn't just being used, that he was an equal partner, that he didn't have to only do what L required. L simply had to remove the limits he'd set on their physical relationship. Or rather, the ones they'd both tacitly set, Raito respecting the inhibitions caused by L's past experiences.
Could he do this? When he even felt dubious about the implications of sitting on his lover's lap, could he allow himself to be dominated? Violated? No, that wasn't a good word to use – penetrated perhaps. Entered. Invaded. Overcome. Rendered submissive. There certainly were a lot of words for this kind of thing...
He was interrupted by Raito's return, took the glass of coke from his lover and thanked him.
"I hope you make regular visits to a dentist, Ryuga," Raito said. "The things you eat and drink."
"Beer has sugar in it," L countered.
"Not so much," said Raito. "Besides, I don't drink a lot of beer. Next time I'll have juice."
"Acid," said L. "Just as bad as sugar for the teeth."
"You have an answer for everything, don't you?" Raito said. Acidically.
L stood up. "Please sit down, Light. You look tired after all that dancing."
"So do you, Ryuga, if I sit there you'll have to stand up," said Raito, not taking the chair.
"No, Light-kun, I won't," said L. "Not if we continue with our previous seating arrangement."
Raito's eyes opened wide in surprise. "But I made you do that!"
"And having done it, I found I liked it," L said, unprepared for the look of incredulous delight that spread across his lover's face. L smiled back, pleased that he'd made Raito so happy. Was this all it took? What was it about sitting on him, of all things, that would make Raito look as if Christmas had come?
Raito practically leapt into the chair and held his arms out to L, who cautiously sat down on his lap, then found himself hugged to breathlessness.
"It's not like you to be so affectionate, Ryuuzaki!" Raito whispered in his ear.
"Am I not?" L wondered.
"Not like this!" Raito said, still smiling.
L had to admit it was true. Their relationship seemed to consist of work, sleep, food and frenetic bouts of fairly peculiar sex, often involving Raito being restrained with the chain that bound them. There didn't seem to be any time for – for other things. For affection or possibly even romance. For just spending time together.
Well, perhaps what he was about to do would please Raito. What he was about to do – what exactly was he about to do?
"You're an incredible dancer," Toshi leaned across to them.
"Thank you, Toshi-san," L said.
"I bet you're good in bed," Toshi continued. "You can tell by how a guy dances, you know."
"That's, uh, interesting," L said.
"So is he?" Shiro asked, nudging Raito.
"I'm going for a walk, Light-kun," L said.
"What? Do you want me to come with you?" Raito looked concerned.
"No thank you, Light-kun," L said, wishing he could say yes. "I wish to absorb the ambience. Besides, it'll be easier for you to talk about me behind my back if my back is elsewhere."
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Some time later, L returned to the table where Raito sat, feeling a good deal more confident. Nobody had molested, insulted or tried to murder him. Although he'd been asked to dance a few times, which had surprised him. And he had observed. He had knowledge. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to bring himself to put it into practise, but he had it. He'd also had a couple of drinks while he was walking round and felt a lot more relaxed.
He was dismayed to notice that Raito's mood seemed to worsened since he left. Nobody else was at the table and the young man was sitting hunched over, a scowl on his face and a drink in his hand that looked more like sake than the juice he'd said he would have.
"I'm back, Raito-kun," L said, cautiously.
"Oh, really?" said Raito, not looking up. "I was about to forget that I'd actually come here with somebody!"
"Can I sit down?" L asked.
"Plenty of chairs!" said Raito, waving an arm and sweeping a bottle off the table.
"Are you drunk?" L said, anxiously. That might ruin his plan!
"No," said Raito. "Maybe. Sit down for God's sake!"
"I want to sit on you," said L.
"Huh?" Raito looked up. "I don't know if you should know that's a good idea," he went on, rather incoherently. "You sat on my lap and you disappeared."
"I had some things to think about, Raito-kun," said L. "I've finished thinking now and I want to sit on your lap."
"They went dancing," said Raito. "We could dance some more. If you'd been here."
"You don't look fit to dance," said L, moving Raito's arms from his lap and sitting down on it. "Why don't I take you home and make you some coffee?"
"Yagami Raito does not need protection from – from lack of coffee!" Raito declaimed, feebly trying to shove the detective off his lap.
L sighed and wrapped his arms around Raito's neck. "Don't be angry with me, Raito," he murmured. "I'm sorry."
"You shouldn't go away," Raito said, refusing to join in the embrace. "And why are you L, anyway?"
"Shhh!" said L.
"Nobody listening," said Raito, with another expansive gesture that knocked over the chair next to theirs. "And L is a pain in the ass, he doesn't like to do anything!"
"I'm calling Watari," L decided. "We're going home."
"You're no fun," said Raito. "Just like L!"
"Yes, I am, Raito-kun," said L, rather hurt by that. "I'm a lot of fun. We'll go home and we'll – we'll watch Jay and Nathan having sex on my laptop!"
"A laptop's too small to have sex on, Ryuga," said Raito, then burst into a fit of giggles.
L rolled his eyes and got out his phone.
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A/N This ends on a bit of a cliffhanger but I have people around that make it impossible for me to write the next scene – it's a bit lemony for general viewing and I have no door on the room where I write. So I'll probably put the next one up midweek :)
I Predict A Riot – song by the Kaiser Chiefs, local heroes XD
The potato thing is something I actually read about – but perpetrated by a French person rather than Japanese XD
