The dream had started out simple. She was back in her old kitchen trying to scrounge up enough food for a so-called dinner.
She was making an omelet with bacon for her birthday dinner and some over-easy eggs for her mother. Sera's mother was moaning about how this was the anniversary of the downfall of her life.
Sera ignored her.
Sera realized that this was a memory within a dream. Her 18th birthday to be exact. The birthday that she had planned to move away and let her mother fend for herself.
Aware she was dreaming, Sera added more bacon to her griddle and turned the TV in her kitchen into a plasma screen.
The dream-Sera went to the toaster to grab her bagel and she saw her blue form in the reflection. She stumbled over to a mirror and blood red eyes stared back at her. She gasped because she had just experienced her Blue Period, why would it happen again so soon?
Sera knew her dream was turning into a nightmare.
That memory skipped to another recollection that took place a few days after her birthday. She was getting ready to leave the house, her suitcase packed. Sera went to her mother's room and said goodbye. Just as she reached the front door, keys in hand, a firm grip latched onto her hip.
Sera was beyond surprised to see her mother standing behind her, wobbling on her feet.
"No! You can't leave me!" she wailed, whimpering while her unkept nails dug into Sera's blue arm.
There were few times her mother voluntarily moved from her bed, and her looking Sera in the eyes was enough to make her stop in her tracks.
"I'll die without you. I have nothing. Stay. You must stay! Don't leave me like your father did!"
Tears sprung to Sera's eyes and she ripped her arm away. She tried to open the door, but her hands shook too much as her zombie of a mother now grabbed her ankle. Her mother pressed her face to the ankle of her jeans and sobbed, the dirty cuff quickly soaked.
"You can't leave. I'll get better! I'll get better! Don't leave me! Don't leave me alone. I can't be alone. I rather die than be alone. I'll get better for you, I promise!"
Even now Sera never knew why she believed her, why she stayed.
Unsurprisingly, nothing changed afterward. All she remembered was the feeling of jail bars rolling in front of her, the bus that was supposed to take her far away leaving without her.
Trapped.
Sera finally woke, drenched in sweat, eyes streaming with tears. She swiped away her tears and looked at her hands and arms, assuring herself that her Blue Period had ended.
She couldn't shake the feeling of needing a certain person, but why she felt she needed him right then was unreasonable. She had just talked to this man over the phone less than 4 hours ago and had talked to him for hours over the phone every day of her Blue Period.
Instead of calling for who she really wanted, she asked JARVIS where Tony was. Apparently he was preoccupied with Pepper and had asked to be let alone at all costs.
After a few minutes of attempting to ignore the thoughts swirling in her head, she realized that she didn't want to go this alone like she had her whole life. She asked JARVIS to contact the guy she had really wanted to see right then.
"JARVIS had to turn my alarm clock on to get me awake," Steve Rogers said drowsily.
"I'm sorry," Sera rushed out. "It was stupid to wake you, I'm sorry, go back to bed! I-"
Steve enveloped her in a bear hug and her arms wrapped around him on their own accord. Instinctively she buried her head in his chest and didn't protest when he easily picked up her slightly undernourished form to bring her to the bed.
He sat with his back against the headboard and she curled up in his lap, letting her silent tears fall onto his shirt. He didn't say if he minded so she continued without shame. His body radiated heat and she pressed her constantly icy limbs against him, naively hoping it would actually warm her own skin.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this to you...I just trust you the most out of anyone here right now. I just can't do this alone anymore."
"Do what alone?" he asked softly, petting her hair.
"Being sacred. Being confused. I never had any help and when you offered to help me...I had to take the offer...you must think I'm a creep to ask you to come here when I've only known you for such a short-"
Steve shushed her and rubbed small circles on her shoulder blade. "Don't worry about it. Just think of it as...as a solidification of mutual trust."
She sighed. "Where do they breed gentlemen like you?"
After a few moments of silence, Steve said, "Anyone ever tell you that you're absolutely freezing?"
She emitted a quick, watery laugh into his shirt. "Yeah, being part Jotun comes with some consequences."
"Ah, I see."
More consequences than you could imagine, she thought to herself.
They stayed there in silence as Sera's head started to clear
"Leave after I fall asleep," she whispered.
"I can stay here ton-"
She shook her head. "Natasha and Clint will be on your ass if they see you coming out of Loki's floor tomorrow morning. Also, if I'm awake, it will break my heart to see you go, and I can't do that to myself right now. Just do this one thing for me? Please? I'm sorry."
Steve ran his hand down her arm. "Stop saying you're sorry. You're allowed to ask for things."
She wanted to kiss him. There was no denying the feeling. She wanted to know if his lips were as warm as the rest of his body, she wondered how his full lips would rest against her thin top lip. It had been so long since she dared kiss a man.
After she was sound asleep, Steve moved his leg out from under Sera and walked out of her room, making sure her heat was turned up high and that the blankets neatly covered her. He spared one last glance before walking out, watching her sleeping form. She was so innocent, so raw despite what she had gone through. Why did Natasha and Clint despise her so much?
He knew he wouldn't sleep tonight so he set out to find them, knowing they didn't sleep well either.
"Agent Romanoff, wait," Steve called out when he found the red haired spy walking towards the stairs.
"Captain Rogers, how may I assist you?" she asked.
"I just wanted to ask you something. Join me in the elevator?"
"I don't like taking elevators," she said with a non-humorous smile. "Too slow and they make me feel claustrophobic."
Steve nodded. "Stairs it is then."
They ascended the first few steps and Romanoff held her hand up just as he was about to start talking. "Before you ask, is this going to be about the girl?"
Steve exhaled. "Yes, actually."
A look that Steve didn't understand crossed her features, then disappeared. "Go on."
"I just want to know why you are so quick to not trust her."
"Allow me to stop you there, Cap. One, I don't trust anyone. Two, I know her better than she knows herself, and three, I've lived this long because I am a master at survival. And if you want to survive too, I suggest getting away from your girlfriend."
"She is not my girlfriend. I enjoy her company and like her, but we are not romantic. Anyways, what gives you the right to say you know her?"
Natasha laughed. "Her own father is the one who brought this to my attention actually. When we had Loki detained, he reminded me that I come from a line of liars and thieves and murderers. I was predestined to become the liar, thief, and murderer I am today. I can barely look at myself anymore, but it was always what I was supposed to do. Loki is the birth son of a monster and the adopted son of a liar. He is evil and irredeemable so his daughter is destined to become that way too. It's only a matter of time."
Steve clenched his fists, infuriated by Natasha's quick judgment of his friend.
"So you're saying that at any moment she'll slaughter all of us?"
"Yes," she responded without wavering under Steve's intense glare. "Do not look at me like that. I'm not alone in this judgment. Clint is wary of her too. And Fury."
She sighed at Steve's blatant irritation. "I'm not blindly judging her. I'm just saying that if people had been more wary of me because of my forefathers...then a lot of innocent lives could have been spared." Her eyes shimmered and she blinked, turning away for a moment. "I should never have been trusted, and I feel I will be doing a favor for her and a lot of others in the long run. You must understand my perspective in this issue."
Steve stopped with his hand on the door handle. "Agent Romanoff...do you ever stop to really think about what exactly creates a monster? You say nature, but environment is just as potent?" He didn't turn around and continued his way through the door, not allowing Natasha time to answer.
