A/N: I really like this chapter, it was inspired by the song Atlas Hands incase you were wondering.

The next morning Jack picked Alex up for court since Casey got called down to the precinct at 5am. Alex was currently running on a high remembering her and Casey's activities from the night before. Jack looks over at Alex wondering if the blonde is okay as she seems to be breathing funny.

"You got this Cabot," he assures.

Alex smiles, "Yeah, I am just ready for this to all be over. Am I still housebound until the end of the trial?"

"It would be safer that way."

"What if I don't want to be?"

Jack sighs, "Well ultimately it's your call."

"Okay, I am just tired of being cooped up."

Shaking his head Jack says, "I am glad to know you are still a pain in the ass."


Casey answers the phone, "Casey Novak Sex Crimes."

"Casey, its Abbie. I need you at the courthouse now." Abbie said.

Casey jumping to her feet as she prepared to leave asks, "What happened is Alex ok?"

"I don't know about ok. She did great on the stand and they called recess because she goaded Connors into a fit of rage, but now she's having some type of panic attack or something. I have her in one of the second floor conference rooms, but I don't know what to do and I have to go back to court," Abbie states.

Grabbing her coat and briefcase Casey assures she is on her way as she locks up. She wonders what exactly set Alex off. Was it just seeing Connors? She seemed so strong and confident this morning. What exactly set her off?

Casey quickly developed an 'Alex Recovery Plan' calling all the necessary people, Jack being the most important, while in route to the courthouse. Arriving at the courthouse she was amazed at her ability to run up the steps in her heels and not fall flat on her face. By the time she reached the conference room she felt like her heart was going to explode from anxiety. Opening the door slowly she saw Alex sitting on the floor in a ball.

"Alex baby," Casey spoke softly moving towards her lover, "what is wrong." Squatting down next to the blonde she could tell she had been crying. "Alexandra, talk to me please."

Alex looked up at Casey with pleading eyes, "Casey I am so lost. I don't feel like myself anymore. I thought breaking Connors would make me feel better, but it didn't. I still feel just as jumbled up inside."

Sitting on the floor, Casey pulled the blonde into her lap and held her tight. "Alex you may feel confused and out of sorts, but you are still the woman I love. No matter what happens I will always love you. When you need a constant or something to ground you I want you to think of that, think of my love."

Alex looked up into Casey's eyes. She felt like she could see the real her reflected in the green depths of her lovers eyes. "I love you so much. Thank you," she said leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss against Casey's lips.

Casey smiled, "You feel like getting out of here?"

"Yes."

"Good, because I have planned a surprise for you."


An hour and a half later Alex and Casey were in Casey's car headed upstate. Alex was finishing up a call to her mom reassuring her that she was okay and that she loved her dearly. Casey noticed Alex wiping away tears as she ended the call.

"You okay baby," Casey questioned.

"Yeah," Alex started taking a deep breath to steady her voice before continuing, "I am. It's just hard to talk to her and not cry. I feel so bad that she thought I was gone for a year and a half but at the same time I am so thankful I can talk to her now."

"Alex you couldn't help your situation."

"Yeah I could have Casey. I could have dropped the case before it earned me a death threat. I made a bad choice and we all paid the price." Alex said hanging her head.

Casey gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were turning white. She hated Alex blaming herself for what happened, but she understood her train of thought. She needed to say something to nip this in the butt now so the rest of the 'Alex Recovery Plan' could work this weekend. Seeing a gas station she pulled over and parked the car and turned to look at Alex.

"Why did we stop?" Alex asked seeing as something was up.

"You and I need to talk seriously about this before we can continue to your surprise."

"Ok."

Casey paused to pick the perfect words. Looking deep into Alex's blue eyes she started, "Alex, you made a choice because you were fighting for justice and yes it cost you a year and a half of your life, but I do not resent you for it and neither does your mother or anyone else for that fact. Do you know why?"

Alex whispered, "Why, why don't you?"

Holding Alex's hands firmly and still looking into her eyes Casey continued, "Because it's that passion and uncompromising nature that makes you Alexandra Cabot. It is the main reason why I fell in love with you, it's the person your mother raised and it's the part that other people admire. If I held your choice against you then I wouldn't be able to be in love with you, and I love you more than anything else in this world Alex."

"Okay," Alex answers hanging her head.

"Alexandra look at me," Casey waits for Alex to lock eyes with her again, "now for this weekend to be awesome I need to know that you believe what I just said. So do you?"

Alex half smiles and says, "Yes Casey I do. Everything is just hard right now. Thank you though for sticking with me."

Casey leans over and places a chaste kiss to Alex's lips, "Okay, let's go then."

As she pulls back onto the highway she sees Alex really needs something to focus on so she decides to give her a hint as to their trip. "Okay Alex, you want a hint about our trip?"

Smiling she says, "Yes, yes I do! Oh my God you aren't taking me camping are you?"

Laughing Casey responds, "No. I have no wish to do that just yet. I have something…better planned. Anyway, it's involves something you love but haven't been able to do in a while…"

"Oh my God! Did you bring the cowboy hat!" Alex exclaims.

"What, I wasn't even done with my clue, how did you do that?" Casey interrogated.

"Casey, it's me. I know you, any hint you were going to try and give me I was going to figure out. So horseback riding on trails I assume around the lake, are we staying at Kim's parents lake house?"

"Oh my God, I am going to turn this car around. Whole surprise ruined." Casey huffed.

Alex smiled big leaning over kissing Casey's cheek, "Best surprise ever! Thank you I am so excited."

Casey smiled thinking to herself, 'the Alex Recovery Plan is going perfect!'

Arriving at the lake house the two quickly unpacked the car. The sun was near setting and Casey had a lot to get done before night hit. She needed to distract Alex with something.

"Hey baby, I need to take care of some things. Could you fix dinner for us?" Casey asked sweetly.

Alex grinned knowing that her girlfriend was planning something awesome for her, "No problem babe. I am on it!"

Quickly grabbing some blankets out of the guest room closet and a pillow Casey ran outside down to the dock. Climbing into the row boat she placed the pillow at the bow and laid the blanket out and tucked her iPhone under the bow seat. Then she lit the two lanterns on the dock. Running back up to the house she looked back to the dock and smiled. Everything was set and she was so excited, hopefully Alex would like it and hopefully it would help her.

Walking into the house she froze at the entrance to the kitchen. Watching Alex move about the kitchen was a beautiful sight. The blonde was so distracted by making the salad that she didn't notice Casey watching her. Casey loved Alex's long blonde hair and watching her brush it out of her face, her glasses perched on her nose she is just stunning. Moving into the kitchen she walked up behind the blonde and pulled her into her. "Hey," Alex whispered looking over her shoulder at Casey.

"Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?" Casey whispered into the blonde's ear.

"Hmm, let me see, I do believe you told me this morning at 4:50 when you insisted on kissing me 10 times before leaving, so yes." Alex giggled.

"Well, I just want to make sure you know. You are gorgeous and I love you." Casey finishes kissing Alex. "So can I help with anything?"

"You have already helped me so much," Alex says turning in Casey's arms so she can face the redhead, "You know I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen both inside and especially out?"

"Right," Casey laughs.

"No seriously Casey, you have an amazing heart and you don't hold back sharing your love. And your body is stunning and I know I don't tell you it enough. Your legs are long and thinking about them get me hot, your boobs are fantastic and when you wear your silk bra and its cold, well let's just say amazing, and your hair I love it, but mostly I love your gorgeous green eyes because when I look into them I feel like I can see my soul and yours reflected in them." Alex finishes smiling at a teary eyed Casey.

"Thank you, baby. Now is dinner ready, because I don't want my after dinner surprise to get ruined!"

"Yes! Let's eat!" Alex exclaims clapping her hands.


After dinner Casey told Alex to put on a fleece and to follow her to the porch. Once there Alex saw the lit lanterns and grinned. "Are we going on a night time boat ride?"

"Yep! Now to the boat gorgeous!" Casey said grabbing the blondes hand and walking her to the boat.

Climbing into the boat Casey had Alex sit in the center where she could lean on the pillows that were propped against the bow seat while Casey rowed them to the center of the lake. Alex loved watching Casey. She always seemed so sure of herself when it came to anything athletic and she didn't even look tired or strained by the rowing of the boat.

Once they were in the center of the lake, Casey secured the oars and lay down next to Alex. She turned her iPhone on to play some soft romantic music and then snuggled up with the blonde. Casey took a breath, "Do you know what my first memory of you is?"

Alex tapped her finger against her chin, "Umm, me tackling you in front of Petrovsky's office?"

"Nope," Casey grinned, "Want to try again?"

"You win, what is it."

"Same day, but it was that morning. I was in the coffee shop across the street from the DA's office and you were there at the front of the line ordering your fancy drink. I saw you and I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen." Casey confessed.

Alex smiled, "You never told me that."

"I was keeping it for a special occasion and now felt right."

Alex thought for a moment, "You want to know when I first realized that I was in love with you?"

"Yes!"

"It was the moment I kissed you goodnight on our first date. I knew I loved you when I couldn't stop kissing you. I kept dragging it out because I didn't want to leave you."

Casey laughed, "That was also the first night we slept together and come to think about we've been together every night since minus when you had to go away."

"See I told you, I didn't want to be without you. That is how I knew I was in love with you." Alex sighed looking up at the stars, "Thank you Casey for helping me to remember."

"Anytime Alex," Casey whispered into her lover's ear, "When you need to remember how much I love you and how many good memories of you I have I want you to remember these stars. That is how much I love you and how many good memories I have of you and how many more I want to make with you."

Alex curled deeper into Casey. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I thank God every day for you."

Placing a kiss to Alex's lips Casey replied, "The feeling is mutual."

The two lovers fell asleep in each other's arms watching the stars and sharing kisses.