Chapter Seven
"I don't know what to do, mate," Ron said, pacing back and forth in Harry's room while Ginny was in the shower.
"What are your options?" Harry asked.
"I don't know! Gah! I don't want kids with her!" Ron yelled. "Is this punishment for cheating?"
"Probably."
"Real supportive, Harry, exactly what I wanted to hear," Ron glared, then thought of an alternative option and immediately ditched it. "I'm not gonna be irresponsible and leave her alone with the kid. I'm gonna be a father and a damn good father!"
"Right. Good," Harry said.
"But damnit, why me?" Ron said, nearly pulling some hair out of his head.
"Maybe in nine months you'll feel different," Harry suggested, lying back on the couch with a Quidditch magazine in hand.
"You think she did this on purpose?" Ron asked, finally standing still.
"Er – no?" Harry replied. "Why would she?"
"To keep me around."
Harry shrugged. "Where is she anyway?"
"Sleeping. We had a row about it and she refused to go with me to dinner. I had to send some elves to give her food, didn't want to leave her starving you know, with a baby and all…"
There was some moment of silence between the two and nothing was heard but the sound of the shower mixed with Ginny's happy humming coming from the bathroom.
"You think she's really pregnant?" Ron asked.
"I don't see why she'd lie…" Harry said, flipping a page.
"Mum's gonna kill me. We're out of wedlock and she doesn't even know I've been seeing Lavender," Ron mumbled, dropping on to the couch.
"Yup, probably," Harry said absentmindedly. He was completely immersed in the magazine and not paying much attention to Ron anymore.
"You could be more helpful, you know."
Harry finally looked at him. "Look, Ron, you'll be fine. We've been through wars, we've lived out of a tent for months fearing for our lives, we've battled, we've lost people, and a lot of other crazy stuff. You'll figure this out too."
Ron sighed. "I suppose. You're lucky you and Gin are married. If she were pregnant it'd be okay."
Harry gulped and started fidgeting around funnily, "Yes, yes it would."
Ron eyed him. "What's up with you?"
"Nothing."
Ginny came out of the bathroom, completely fresh and glowing with a towel on her head and a robe wrapped around her body.
"Oh, Ron, you're still here?" Ginny said. "Shouldn't you be going to bed? It's late."
"Yeah, I suppose I should head out," Ron said. "I'll see you guys later." And he left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.
"Gin, you think telling Ron you're pregnant will make him feel better?" Harry asked.
"Hm, I never thought of that," Ginny replied. "Maybe. I suppose he'd be an exception. We'll tell him tomorrow. He is my brother, after all!"
ooo
Hermione opened her eyes to darkness. The only light came from the moon through the windows. She still felt a little tipsy and her vision was a bit blurred and her mouth felt dry. She wondered what time it was.
She turned around to look at Draco, who she knew was holding her and keeping her warmer than the covers ever could. Her heart started beating faster when she realized they were both naked and for a moment she felt like she couldn't breath. Vague flashes of what had just happened ran through her head. They were pleasant, of course, but they also made her feel immensely guilty.
She wanted to yell at him, to kick him, to push him off the bed. She was sure she was going to do it, but then she took another look at his face and he looked so peaceful asleep, holding her. She didn't want to interrupt.
So she just left it alone and kissed his lips lightly on a sudden impulse, hoping he wouldn't wake up. This made him stir. Plan failed.
"Granger…" he said softly without opening his eyes.
"Shh, go to sleep, Malfoy, I'm tired," Hermione said.
Draco brought a hand up to trace her face and found her lips. He gently ran his thumb over them before giving her a light kiss.
"Are you still drunk?" he whispered, tracing her stomach delicately with a finger.
Hermione was having a hard time trying to fall asleep with all his soft movements. "Are you?"
"I don't even wanna open my eyes for fear of the room spinning, so yeah, I'd say I'm pretty drunk," Draco said, chuckling.
"You better not throw up on me," Hermione mumbled. "And stop touching me. You're lucky I haven't kicked you off the bed yet."
"You're no fun, Granger," Draco said, though he didn't mean it. He was pretty sure they had a lot of fun just a few hours earlier…
He stopped caressing her and just brought her closer to him.
"Obliviate me in the morning, will you?" Hermione said and Draco just laughed and kissed her neck before burying his head in there. She couldn't help but smile a little as they fell asleep again. They'd deal with it in the morning.
ooo
The morning came too soon. Hermione woke up with a headache and realized that no one was next to her. She was a little disappointed, but also relieved.
"Don't get too comfortable, Granger," Draco said, coming out of the bathroom, fully clothed. "You're naked."
Hermione quickly pulled the covers over her. "What time is it?" she asked, trying her best to avoid talking about last night.
"I'd say around eleven," Draco said. "I just had the greatest morning throwing up the contents of last nights dinner along with a lot of red liquid and green acid when there was literally nothing else to come out of my stomach anymore. It felt horrible, but I feel great now."
"That's good," Hermione said uncertainly. "Well I'll see you later then?"
"We're not going to talk about last night?"
"You know, I don't seem to remember much…" Hermione lied.
"Come off it, Granger, you know what happened."
"HA!" Hermione said, as if having an epiphany. "You've been trying to seduce me this whole time, haven't you?"
Draco frowned, "Don't play dumb."
"I'm not playing dumb," Hermione snapped. "What do you want me to say about it? I don't normally do that, okay, Malfoy? I hope you don't think I'm some whore who just sleeps around when I get drunk."
"I didn't say that, Granger. Obviously I don't think that. But what does it mean?"
"What?"
"Well you don't just sleep around with anyone, and you know what happened last night. So what does it mean to you?"
Hermione really didn't want to get dragged into this kind of situation any further, so she chose the best answer to get out of it, "Nothing."
"Nothing?" Draco asked incredulously. "Even I admit it means a little something, even if I don't know what."
"That's not how I feel," Hermione lied.
"We've been hanging out the last three nights and you're telling me it means nothing? Come on, I'm not stupid. Why do you deny everything?"
"It's not like you're embracing anything either!" Hermione yelled.
"I can't if you refuse to let me!" Draco yelled back. "I don't just have sex with anyone!"
"You're married!"
"I'm getting a divorce!"
"That doesn't mean anything!"
"It means that I'm not denying that I feel something for you and I'm not going to try and hide it," Draco said, lowering his voice.
"Well, I can't say the same," Hermione replied. "I'm going through a lot of emotions and I've been feeling vulnerable and that's why last night happened, okay? It has nothing to do with having any sort of feelings for you."
Draco looked like he'd been slapped, "I've been feeling vulnerable too, but I know that it's not just because of that. If I were feeling that bad I could've talked to anyone, but I've been talking to you because I want to talk to you and I enjoy being around you. Why won't you just admit you feel a little something?"
"Because I don't."
"Why are you lying? What are you so scared of?" Draco yelled again.
"I know what this is, Malfoy!" Hermione yelled back, pointing at him. "It's called a rebound! And I'm not gonna be it!"
"What are you talking about?" Draco asked, confused and angry.
"Just go away! Get out, get out!" Hermione yelled, not wanting to deal with it any longer before more things came out and exploded in their faces.
"Fine!" Draco walked out slamming the door for the second day in a row.
Hermione knew she was overreacting and being too rash. Here she was complaining about a life of possible solitude but at the same time she was pushing anyone away who got too close. She'd been hurt too much in the past and couldn't handle it so she found any excuse not to let anyone in. She barely even let Ginny and Harry in, and those were her best friends. She was going to drive herself into madness if she didn't know how to let her walls down and let things go. She knew she would never be able to find happiness if she didn't take any risks. But that was the thing – she didn't know what was worth risking for anymore and just shut down anything that came at her.
There were many things to fear about being attracted to Draco. There were the obvious reasons: he was married, he had a child, he was a former Death Eater, he was a former enemy... But even those reasons weren't enough to keep Hermione away. He was married, yes, but it wasn't a loving marriage. He had a child, but she was well aware and understood his duties would always be as a father first, as he stated in previous drunken conversations. She even found this trait to be highly admirable. As far as being a Death Eater and a former enemy, Hermione knew he had changed. She saw it in his eyes and in the way he acted. He wasn't the same snobby asshole from Hogwarts. The main reason Hermione couldn't stand to be attracted to him was a product of her insecurity: she didn't want to be anybody's rebound. Who the hell wanted to be the girl that someone's husband went to for comfort and dropped when he found someone he actually, genuinely liked? The situation they were in was so delicate and the lines were so blurred. She couldn't tell if he actually liked being around her because of who she was or if he liked her because she was distracting him from Astoria. She wasn't even sure herself why she was attracted to him. She feared that it too could be a rebound. It was all too unsure to really know. They hadn't spent that much sober time together. It was too complicated and she didn't want to make it worse by submitting to the attraction.
And there she was back at square one, walls up.
With a heavy sigh, Hermione got up and went to the bathroom to take a nice, long, hot shower.
ooo
Harry and Ginny were staring at Hermione's door that morning, thinking hard on whether they should invite her down to breakfast or not.
"You think she even got back upstairs? Who knows, she could still be lying in the grass…" Harry said.
"I'm certain she's in there," Ginny said, stepping forward to turn the knob a little. It was locked. "See it's locked."
"Maybe," Harry said slowly. "We should wait for her to come to us."
"But Hermione doesn't like to talk to anyone about anything anymore, that's why you have to force it out of her."
"I know… but maybe this time we should let her come to us," Harry said, taking Ginny's hand. "If she needs us she'll come to us. I just feel like she needs time or something. We'll come by around lunchtime if she doesn't turn up by then."
Ginny hesitantly agreed and they made their way down the marble steps. Surprisingly, Ron was already waiting for them in the kitchen.
"Ron," Ginny greeted. "You're up too early for, well, you."
"I barely slept, really. I couldn't think of much except this situation," Ron replied smugly.
They all sat together at one of the granite counters and asked the house elves for some tea and biscuits.
"Where's Lavender?" Harry asked.
"Asleep still, didn't want to wake her, you know. She's still a bit mad at me, so I had to sleep in my own room last night," Ron said, taking a sip of tea. "Oh would you just give me pumpkin juice instead?" he told a house elf. He obliged happily.
"Are you feeling any better?" Ginny asked.
"No. I have no idea what to do. Mum's gonna kill me, you know it, Gin," Ron said.
Ginny smiled wide, "It's alright, Ron, we'll tell Mum and Dad together."
"You'll come with me to tell them?" Ron said, eyes brightening. "I might need a lot of support after they're through with me. No Weasley has ever come home telling their parents they knocked up someone they weren't married to."
"Er – yeah, but that's not exactly what I meant."
"I don't get it," Ron said, frowning.
Ginny looked at Harry and had him do the honors, "Well, Ron, Ginny's expecting too."
Ron looked back and forth from his best friend and his little sister, unsure of how to express his feelings because there were so many.
"Oh my god, that's gross," he exclaimed, "and great!"
"Thanks?" Harry said uncertainly.
"No, it's great, mate," Ron said. "I suddenly don't feel alone. We're gonna be fathers at the same time!"
"This makes me so excited," Ginny squealed.
Despite the fact that it was Lavender he had gotten pregnant, Ron felt at least a little relieved about it now. He didn't have to go through it alone. Harry would be going through similar issues. Though there was the little marriage difference.
"Well despite this fortunate information, Mum's still gonna murder me. I guess I'm gonna have to marry Lavender," Ron said.
"You never know what to expect, though, Ron," Ginny said. "I just have a feeling things will turn out right."
"Maybe…"
But then Harry gave Ginny a look and they immediately thought sympathetically of Hermione.
ooo
Draco felt infuriated with Hermione. It was just insulting, absolutely insulting, for her to be denying that she felt anything for him. It was also a total bitch slap to his ego. He had never been that smooth with the ladies, but he thought he was practiced rather well. And his instincts just told him she was denying that she felt anything. Why was she being such a brat about it? He didn't even say he liked her or anything, he didn't make any promises or declare his love, he just admitted that he felt something towards her. Couldn't she just admit that she felt the same?
He wasn't dumb, though. He knew there were many factors in why she wouldn't admit to it. He was still married, had a child, was a former enemy, and she herself had just gone through a lot, so that was probably another factor that made her overwhelmed with feelings. He wouldn't deny that they were in both vulnerable positions and that nothing was certain, but he still couldn't understand why she wouldn't allow herself to admit that there was something.
His thoughts were yet again interrupted when he entered his room and his wife was staring at him icily from her seat on the neatly-made bed.
"Draco, where have you been?" she asked.
Draco rolled his eyes, "None of your business."
"I was here the whole night and you didn't come back once. I haven't seen you since dinner."
Draco looked at her curiously, "No late night with Blaise?"
A flash of hurt when through her face before she tightly said, "We can't get a divorce."
Draco's usually cool demeanor turned into shock, "What? Why not!"
"Why are you so eager to get a divorce?"
"Because it's what makes sense!"
"You're seeing someone!" Astoria yelled. "I know it! And if you're not, it's because you're trying to punish me! You want me to look stupid. You know that Blaise and Pansy will never divorce and I'll be left with nothing."
Draco's eyes went wide. He felt like strangling her. "Can you be anymore selfish?"
"Who are you seeing!"
"How dare you interrogate me! First you cheat on me with Blaise of all people! You continue to see him even after we've fought about it and I told you not to! You still see him even though we have a child together! You still see him now, when we're on vacation trying to make things right! And now you have the nerve to ask me who I'm seeing? You're truly unbelievable," Draco yelled, anger pouring out of all his veins.
There were tears in Astoria's eyes and she couldn't help but let out, "Blaise told me I was ridiculous for even suggesting such a thing as him and Pansy divorcing so he could be with me."
"You make me sick," Draco said with nothing but disdain.
Astoria just cried harder, "Please, Draco, you can't leave me. We have Scorpius. What about our son?"
"Fuck, Astoria," Draco said, dropping himself on the couch.
"We can make it work, I swear, just don't leave me," Astoria begged through tears. "I don't even care if you have mistresses or whatever, just don't leave me alone."
She was selfish and insecure and Draco knew it. He would never have mistresses, it wasn't his style and it wasn't classy. Astoria, however, would leave Draco in a heartbeat if Blaise changed his mind, but they all knew he wouldn't. Even if they were in love there was that reputation to uphold – those promises before their families that they couldn't betray. And when Draco thought about divorce again, he couldn't help but think it would be impossible now. Did he really think that they could get past all the whispers behind his back? His parents would be so disappointed. He could hear them again…Don't marry unless you're in love, because purebloods don't divorce...
But he was in love. He just wasn't anymore. What happens when you stop being in love?
And he couldn't help but picture Hermione's face: the light skin, the rosy cheeks (especially when she was drunk), the way she pouted her lips when she was pretending to be upset, her pretty brown eyes her curly brown hair that smelled of mint and flowers, and the feel of her against him, exuding warmth that came from more than just their bodies. He didn't know exactly what he felt for her, but he knew it wasn't something he wanted to let go of…
But maybe he'd be helping her out… he had a lot of extra baggage anyway. He should just leave it alone before he got even more attached.
Astoria came over to Draco and sat on the floor in front of him.
"Draco?"
Then Draco saw his son's face. He was so innocent and beautiful and didn't deserve second best because he was unhappy… We have a child. And I love that child. He's my first priority.
He looked at Astoria and saw the selfishness in her eyes, and he hated her. But he couldn't bring himself to submit to anything other than his child.
"Quit crying. We're not divorcing."
ooo
Ginny had just finished a decent rock-climbing session and was drinking water and chatting with Gabrielle. That's when she saw a head of red hair running towards her.
"Gin, something's wrong with Harry!" Ron panted as soon as he got to her. "Come on!" He grabbed her hand and led the way out the door and down the stairs.
"Ron, tell me what's going on!" Ginny said. "You do know I'm pregnant! Calm down, will you?"
"Sorry," Ron said, slowing down. "Harry's acting funny."
They were at the doors. "Funny like how?" Ginny asked.
Ron shook his head and didn't get a chance to answer because Harry came up to them, looking like a lovesick puppy.
"Oh, hey, Gin, have you seen Victoria? She's amazing. I'm in love with her," Harry said happily.
Ginny didn't even take the time to figure out why he would be saying such words. The thought of him in love with someone else when she thought their little bubble was so perfect made her blood boil.
"What?" she said, disbelievingly.
"Victoria, where are you?" Harry called out in a sing-song voice.
"Harry?" Ginny said desperately. She was close to tears now. She had never thought heartbreak could feel like this – like she was close to death. She began hyperventilating. "Harry, Harry… what are you saying?"
"Gin, I'm saying I need to find Victoria and confess my love to her. Do you know where she is?"
That set Ginny into a fit of tears. "Harry, what about our baby?"
Harry didn't have much memory of what she was talking about. "I'll see you guys later." And he ran off.
Ginny screamed and fell to the floor. Her eyes burned with tears. Her mouth felt dry. She felt like her lungs were about to collapse. Her whole body was shaking with rage and pain and sorrow.
"He's leaving me! Ron, stop him!" But Ron was too late. He was torn between keeping Ginny from unintentionally killing herself and running after Harry. He decided the former, of course, was more important.
"Ginny, get up, we need Hermione," Ron said, trying to get his sister up.
But Ginny literally couldn't budge. She felt too weak to get up – like her legs would give way before she could even stand. There is no doubt in my mind and never has been about us, Harry's voice said in her head over and over again.
"Was it all just a lie?" Ginny whispered through clenched teeth and tears.
"Ginny, see sense and get up!" Ron said.
Ginny looked at Ron. See sense? She couldn't see sense right now, but she would get up. Ron took her arm and they walked as fast as Ginny permitted to the room.
ooo
A/N: Wooo here's a new chapter for those who follow the story! Hope you enjoy. I have another new story up in addition to 'The Last Mudblood' entitled 'Playing Dirty' which is a humorous tale of wits and revenge set in an AU during the gang's seventh year at Hogwarts. If you're looking for something less serious, that's definitely the one to read as I have no grand plans for it, just fun events that happen between teenagers. But let me know what you think of this story so far! Thanks for the reviews and views so far!
