A/N: Finally, another chapter! I'm glad I could finally update this story. Just a warning, the Mario, Luigi, Daisy section might make readers a little uncomfortable. It's supposed to, but if you get upset easily, just skip it. Also, we're finally starting to get fluffy, enjoy!
Kammy felt every section her spine crack as she finally stood up from her cramped desk. She had filed paperwork on new recruits, scheduled important meetings, set the wheels in motion on laws Lord Bowser had requested months ago, and even found time to place a help wanted ad in various Darklandian newspapers for a data systems architect, so that this paperwork problem might never happen again. Indeed, going paperless had never sounded better to Kammy than it did right now.
Strangely, with every task completed and filed, the paperwork stack seemed to only grow. At first, it was only natural, as Kammy received immediate responses to most of her inquiries (the rest of the castle being far too concerned about King Bowser's legendary wrath to slack as the head Magikoopas sometimes did). However, once she got past those and certain chores were entirely put to rest, she noticed the papers beginning to multiply at an exponential rate.
Furthermore, as the papers multiplied their contents became far more trivial than those of the initial stack.
By Lord Bowser's decree: each Thursday the Piranha Plants are to be flossed and watered.
His Majesty is concerned about the length of time soldiers are spending in the restroom. A committee is to be assembled to time each troop as well as count the number of visits per day. Note that Lord Bowser is also interested in how many flushes and the exact number of toilet tissue sheets used per unit.
Young Prince Bowser is concerned that the laundry staff has purloined one of his favorite socks and has demanded a full-scale investigation. I suggest you start with under his bed.
Clean Kamek's office. The top bookshelf gets quite dusty, my dear.
"They don't pay me enough for this," grumbled Kammy, rubbing her tired eyes. She looked into a mirror and jumped back in shock. Behind her glasses and under her eyes were drooping, slightly purple bags.
Kamek…
"I get those brats out of the castle and then I have your shenanigans to deal with! Enough is enough! You want me to clean your office? Oh, I'll clean your office; just you wait and see. I'll—"
Kammy reached Kamek's door and stopped muttering abruptly. On his desk, she saw a marvelous sight. A sly smirk crawled across her mouth. She reached up and swiped the misplaced blue sack of coins from the elderly Magikoopa's desk.
"I know just what to do with this…" she chuckled to herself. "Now, where did I put my broom?"
The tomboy with the long black hair streaked with red dutifully followed Lemmy, her tiny feet plodding along in a pair of cheap canvas shoes. Her mesmerizing, kohl-rimmed, violet eyes were fixed on his shell as she talked in a low, soothing voice.
She certainly liked to talk a lot. What had she been yammering about? Something like after her folks died she was unfairly punished by some gang of girls…what did she call them? Proopy? Poopy? Whatever. The poopy girls pushed her down some pipe disguised as a well and she ended up here from some place called Hiesscool. Lemmy shook his head. He didn't even know where that was.
"But you know, sometimes when I'm really mad or really scared my eyes turn red and I pass out and I can't remember what happened! Also, people have been saying they've seen a terrible but beautiful beast roaming around! You know, I heard before I was adopted that my real parents were very important people, like royalty, and…"
Lemmy plugged his ears. Wouldn't she ever shut up?
"Hey Lemmy," Iggy dropped from above. "Those preparations you wanted for the indoor circus are ready and I got the rest of the Koopalings together to—woah!"
Iggy stood, utterly transfixed by the creature before him. "I-is this the star of our show?" he asked, barely able to contain his excitement. Lemmy nodded.
"She's…perfect," he sputtered breathlessly. "Where did you find her?"
The girl blushed and cast her eyes downward, biting her lip a little in a rare quiet moment. It seems she found Iggy to be perfect as well.
"Well, never mind that. Do you mind if I accompany her to the waiting area? All the preparations are ready and with her here, it's sure to be the best show we've ever had."
Before long, all the Koopalings and troops of the Emerald fortress had assembled in the makeshift ring as the audience. Meanwhile, while Lemmy introduced the acts (unlucky soldiers drafted by the brothers to perform "death defying feats" and otherwise show their "talents"), Iggy and the girl sat on the sidelines, deeply engrossed in conversation. With every word that came from her perfectly formed lips, Iggy's smile grew wider and brighter. Every tale of teenage angst sent pleasurable chills down his spine.
"Tell me again about your psychic abilities," he cooed softly.
"Oh, I've had them ever since I was a young child."
Iggy bit his lip, suddenly cautious, "Can you…can you tell what I'm thinking?"
The girl shook her head and blushed, "No…for some reason it won't work on you…"
They stared into each other's eyes so intently that they almost missed their cue.
"Oh, shoot. It's already time for the grand finale. It's your turn to go on stage."
The girl blushed once more as Iggy grabbed her hand and led her to a small opening through a curtain. "You'll come out from here…you'd better go."
"But Iggy…what do I do when I get out there?" The Koopalings had never told her which of her countless talents she should display once she was on stage.
Iggy's eyes glistened as they looked into her beautiful orbs once more. "Don't worry, you're a natural star. I…I know your performance will be perfect."
The girl leaned over and shyly kissed Iggy on the cheek. In response, Iggy gently lifted the hood on her oversized black sweatshirt, decorated with the faces of some musical group ostensibly from the land of Hiesscool. "You'll be great," he whispered, giving her a gentle nudge.
As soon as she disappeared behind the curtain, Iggy ran to the other side of the stage so that he might see the performance for himself. There, he ran into Lemmy who was handling a remote control with a shiny red button.
"Hey Lem, what was her name anyhow?"
Lemmy fixed Iggy with an exasperated stare.
"You're right, it doesn't matter anyhow. Fire!"
Lemmy slammed his fist down on the shiny red button and the giant cannon on the stage shot the teen tragedy far off into the horizon.
A buxom beauty brought Waluigi his third drink of the evening; it was nine o'clock and things were about to get interesting in the Garnet District. The night was hot and balmy and the dusty streets were lit with those huge incandescent bulbs advertising the liveliest, lustiest shows on the planet.
Waluigi hadn't been able to convince Wario to come along, the latter being far too miserly to partake in such an expensive excursion, but now being alone, Waluigi found he enjoyed the novelty of being anonymous in a crowd of strangers. That was until he saw her…
To be more accurate, he heard her first, her brash and distinctive voice rang clearly through the smoke filled parlor. "Oh this place is awesome! Look at all these beautiful, strong women who are just so free and comfortable with themselves and their bodies!"
"Uh, it sort of seems like they're performing dances for strange men that they don't know; that doesn't seem very freeing to me…" said Luigi, actively trying to look away from any of the provocatively dressed females in his vicinity.
Waluigi narrowed his eyes, so he was here too. He dragged his large, gloved hand over his face. He had travelled halfway across the world to forget her, the curl of her hair, the sway of her hips, and now she was here, her voice practically beckoning to him.
"Hey Lu, looks like they've got some lessons, you know, dancing lessons," she said, letting the innuendo roll off her tongue and into her facial expression. "You boys will probably be here 'searching for clues' for a little while, right?"
Luigi flushed red, "I-I don't think that's such a good idea. I'm sure it won't take long to get the information we need and…"
Luigi followed Daisy's eyes to where Mario was sitting a short distance away. Surrounding him was a legion of fantastically proportioned women who were honestly enthralled with one of Mario's many tales of heroism.
"That sounds so dangerous! You're so brave."
"And he's so muscular!"
"And look at that mustache, it's so rugged and handsome!"
"I think I'll have plenty of time," Daisy remarked in a mirthful voice. "Next class starts in 15 and I still have to reserve a spot and rent a costume. Au revoir, lover boy. Be good!"
Luigi watched in horror as Daisy blew him a kiss and left him alone in this place. How was he supposed to be good with all these women around? What if they swarmed him like they did Mario? Who would be there to defend his honor?
He was later to find, secretly to his resentment, being approached by women would not be a concern for the evening. Thus he was to sit at the bar, very much alone with his drink, for the rest of the night.
Waluigi, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes and sprung into action. The opportunity was too good to pass up. His two main attributes were working in his favor; his lithe, thin frame made it easy for him to stealthily sneak into places he didn't belong, while his utter lack of morals and shame let him feel no remorse for what he was about to do.
At first the girls were shy, nervous, and more than a little clumsy. They fell off of chairs, slipped off the poles; Waluigi had to put his hand in his mouth to stifle his laughter when one of the larger girls fell right on her behind. However, it wasn't long before the students were performing moves like the pros, and more importantly, everyone was laughing and having a good time.
Waluigi kept his eyes fixed on Daisy, in her golden yellow bustier and outrageously tall stilettos. The scandalously clad women laughed and conversed easily with one another, exchanging naughty tips and raunchy jokes. It was like watching a part of what every teenage male secretly hopes is happening at girls' slumber parties. Unsurprisingly, the hour went by quickly and the class ended far too soon for anyone's liking.
As Daisy grabbed her things and sashayed to the exit, Waluigi decided it was time to make his presence known. Reaching deftly into the aisle, he grabbed Daisy's arm and pulled her swiftly into his hiding place.
Daisy's initial reaction was to punch, bite, or kick her would-be assailant into submission, but a second look revealed an acquaintance, though one she hadn't hoped to see anytime soon.
"What the hell, Wally? Ever tried a simple hello? I almost punched your lights out for grabbing me like that."
Waluigi grinned widely, masking his inner turmoil. He was so close to her, so alone. "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this? Are you working here now? Did Daddy finally kick you out?" I'm such a jerk.
Daisy roughly pulled her arm away from where Waluigi had been holding it. "No, I'm not working here, thank you very much. No need to ask what you're doing here," she scoffed, wrinkling her nose at the smell of booze on his breath. "Where's your fat brother?"
"He's too cheap to come to a place like this, you know that. You still haven't answered my question; what are you and the Rodent Brothers doing here?"
"Peachy's been kidnapped again, so we're looking for her," Daisy huffed, matter-of-factly.
"On a pole?" Waluigi asked with a malicious grin.
Daisy opened her mouth, dumbstruck. "Were you…watching? Ew, Stars, you're such a pervert! Anyhow, we happen to have it on good information that Bowser brought Peachy here."
Waluigi laughed out loud. "No surprises there, that guy has been trying to get with your cousin for longer than I can remember. Do you think they finally…you know."
"You're disgusting."
Waluigi closed his eyes smugly; he loved a perfect segue. "Well, I may be a disgusting pervert, but I am also a disgusting pervert with information. Information you might be interested in…about your cousin."
Daisy tried to sound disinterested, "Tsk, what do you know?"
"Plenty, it all depends on what you're going to give me in return."
Daisy folded her hands over her chest; she did not like the sound of where this was going.
"50 coins…"
Waluigi laughed again, "You think you could buy me off for so little? Anyhow, I'm not Wario; that money grubbing sad sack would do anything to lay his hands on some gold. No, I don't want your money…I just want your love."
Daisy rolled her eyes, "Alright, I love you," she said insincerely, "Now will you please tell me?"
"Nope."
"You already spied on me dancing; I think I deserve a little compensation for that."
Waluigi mused contentedly, loving the feeling of having something that she obviously wanted so desperately. He didn't want to let it go easily, but then, he didn't want to end up with nothing.
"A kiss," he replied. "A good one, and you've bought all the information I have."
"No," she growled.
"I'm afraid that's the only way," Waluigi mocked in a singsong voice. "If you're not interested, I think I'll return to the parlor…" He adjusted his suspenders and casually turned, pretending to leave.
"Wait!" Daisy called. Waluigi turned around slowly and smugly, though his heart was beating out of control in his chest. "You swear you have really good information about where Peachy is?"
Waluigi nodded with a self-satisfied smile. Daisy strode up to him in a huff, arms folded tightly across her chest. "You're really sick, you know that?" Waluigi smiled in reply before Daisy begrudgingly smashed her lips into his. His hand grazed her soft auburn hair and he held her close for a moment taking in everything he possibly could.
However, the moment was cut short when Daisy suddenly jerked away violently. "I'll bite it off!" she yelled, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Tongue was not part of the deal!"
Waluigi rolled his eyes; he had said a "good" kiss, what kind of kiss is any good that doesn't have a little tongue? He opted not to push his luck.
"When I was getting off the train to Garnet a few days ago, I noticed a couple of familiar looking people at the station. Bowser's a big guy, you can't miss him anywhere, and I saw Peach and a Koopa kid was with him so I decided to follow 'em for a bit. I saw him buy three tickets. He sent the little girl Koopa off to Emerald Island but Peach and Bowser got on the train to Alexandrite: a cold, miserable place. Maybe he was hoping she'd get cuddly if she got cold enough…"
"So she left a few days ago…that means we're falling behind! I gotta go tell Luigi and Mario." She paused awkwardly. "Uh, thanks for telling me…I guess." Why am I thanking him? I certainly didn't get it for free.
Waluigi smirked, "You know, your cousin looked pretty tired and worn out…I bet it's because…" He made a vulgar hand gesture.
He laughed inwardly at Daisy's outraged expression as she marched off in another huff. After she was gone, he put his hand to his lips, quivering in excitement about what had happened, but as always, a tinge of regret haunted his achievements.
I know she'll hate me forever.
Bowser sat anxiously on a stone step watching the clay colored dirt sparkle in the light of high noon. His portal from Alexandrite had closed nearly an hour ago but there was still no sign of Peach.
Maybe she's still stuck there on that mountain. Stupid, I should have never agreed to leave her behind. What if something happened to her? He combed his claws through his large, shaggy mane, obviously distraught. What if she's not coming? …Maybe she decided to go back to the Mushroom Kingdom and leave me to find my kids by myself.
He thought about what the imposter Peach had said about Peach wishing to be with Mario instead of him. She didn't deny it. Bowser balled his hands into tight firsts, feeling his claws dig into his palms. If I could just get my hands on that plumber I'd…
Bowser never got to finish his thought as he heard a familiar voice calling his name. "Bowser!"
Peach!
"Bowser, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you!"
Bowser was so elated. She decided to stay with me! His tail swished eagerly as he pulled her into a tight hug, eliciting a small "ooph" from the princess. Peach smiled, she couldn't help but feel his overflowing joy. It felt nice to be so appreciated.
Bowser set Peach down gently and noticed her cotton candy pink sari and matching veil draped over her hair. "What happened to your clothes?"
Peach looked down, "Well, when I got here, I noticed people in town giving me dirty looks. I wandered around looking for you for almost 20 minutes wondering why everyone was glaring at me. Finally, some woman at a dress shop recognized me as the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom. She told me that women in Amber usually cover their hair, so as not to tempt the holy monks away from their devotions. I was so embarrassed, I had no idea!"
Bowser circled her, looking her up and down. "Still tempting; didn't work."
Peach hit Bowser lightly in the arm, blushing at the compliment. "You're not funny," she laughed.
Bowser pretended to pout, "My jokes are never funny to you! You're so difficult to please…"
Suddenly, a number of dirty, barefoot boys in ragged clothes ran past. "C'mon hurry, it's over here!"
"Don't mess with it! It'll bite us for sure."
"Don't be such a chicken; if you're scared, why don't you just go home?"
Peach and Bowser looked at one another, nodding in silent agreement to follow the scruffy children and investigate.
Peach was the first to gasp out loud, "Chompy!"
The little Chain Chomp was cold and had turned completely blue. He let out a sort of metallic sneeze then looked up at her miserably. "Arf Arf," he barked weakly.
The street children stopped poking it with a stick when they realized the rich-looking lady and her terrifying companion seemed to know what the creature was. Peach turned to Bowser pleadingly, "We have to help him! What can be done?"
Bowser thought for a moment, brows furrowed deeply. It never got cold in the Darklands so this had never happened to any of his Chomps. Still, he didn't want to admit to Peach that there was anything he didn't know. "Any of you runts know where to find a hospital for…uh, pets?"
The ragamuffins looked at one another, it was hard enough to find a hospital for people in this village, much less for monstrous pets owned by crazy rich people. The boldest child, a Mouser too small for his age, stepped forward with a mischievous smile on his face. He rubbed his fingers together, staring at them tentatively.
Peach was taken aback that the children could be so cold in such a dire emergency; but one look at their dirty, stained faces and ragged wardrobe suggested that these children might be constantly living in a state of emergency. She quickly fished out five gold coins for the impoverished youth before Bowser could get angry with him. The child looked up at her with wide, disbelieving eyes before motioning her to follow him.
Bowser was left to begrudgingly scoop up the freezing Chomp before following the scampering hoard through narrow clay alleyways and dusty marketplaces until they finally reached a green curtained doorway.
"Mausi Latika," cried the Mouser boy, "there are visitors with a sick monster!"
The scent of incense wove thickly through the air as an aged Lakitu floated out of the back room on her cloud. She eyed Peach and caught a glimpse of Bowser struggling to get through the doorway, which was blocked with curious children. Finally, Bowser set Chompy on the dusty floor to be examined. The old Lakitu adjusted her spectacles and said something in a sharp tone to the vagrant children, who hopped to attention, scattering like dandelion seeds. She called over the Mouser child and talked quickly, in a low hushed tone. He nodded in understanding.
"Mausi Latika said she can heal your pet for no charge at this time. Any payment must be directed to the Amber Temple."
"Thank you very much," replied Peach, wringing her hands with worry. "Perhaps we can go offer payment and then come back and see if any progress…"
"No, no, you mustn't do that," cried the boy. He lowered his voice to a whisper, "Mausi Latika is very old and does not like outsiders in her home. I will come get you when the creature is healthy. Where are you put up?"
"We don't have a place to stay yet…"
"Come, I will take you to the finest hotel in all of Amber! Do not worry, your pet is in good hands."
The Mouser child named Patil, led Peach and Bowser back through the dusty streets of Amber, albeit at a much slower pace this time, taking a moment here and there to explain the backstory of the city.
"Hey," Bowser interrupted, "You know anything about a fake magician who's trying to kidnap kids?"
Patil laughed, "There are so many crooks and criminals in this city; fake magicians, 'holy' men, thieves, kidnappers, you might as well ask me if I've seen a grain of sand in the Amber Desert."
"Excuse me, I don't mean any disrespect, but why are there so many criminals in a holy land?" asked Peach.
"Who else needs to beg for the favor of the Stars more than a criminal?" retorted Patil. "Mostly they are just poor people with nothing else to lose. The temple shamans themselves don't carry any money, but there is plenty of gold coming from pilgrims and visitors. Somehow, the cash seems to end up in the pockets of the very rich men, who are very powerful. In this city, the rich are spiritual and generous by day, and very very evil by night."
At last, they arrived at the hotel, a heavily ornamented affair in a somewhat out of place Art Deco style. Geometric spires jutted upwards, softened by the interspersed round dome. Every opening seemed covered by intricate stone and wooden lattice. The smell of sweet and savory spices wafted from the open pavilions stationed around the building, which acted as private dining rooms for wealthy families.
Eager to visit the interior of the gorgeous raj, Peach quickly said her adieus, and made her way up the grand marble steps.
"Hey Runt," Bowser called to the Mouser boy with a mischievous smirk on his face. "I see you've got an eye for business. How would you like to make even more money? I've got a job for you…"
Inside the hotel, Bowser was back in action with the full magnitude of his kingly attitude. "We'll take the largest luxury suite you have available," he bellowed loudly enough for the entire hotel floor to hear him. "Make sure there's a separate room for my lovely bride."
Peach, by now used to the idea she had to pretend to be married to the Koopa King, only rolled her eyes and gently nudged him on the arm. "Are you sure we have enough coins for this? There's no telling how much longer we'll need to be on the road…" she hissed softly.
Bowser merely grinned at her and continued shouting orders; "We will require a guide to the temple and a full spa treatment with snacks upon our return."
"And what time will you require dinner, Sahib?"
"No later than seven," grunted the Koopa King, satisfied with his display of bravado.
Peach was surprised to see him hand over what couldn't have been more than 75 coins for all his demands. Hadn't she just paid 300 for her cloak in Alexandrite? Was this land truly so impoverished?
After sending their luggage up with a very attendant bellhop, Bowser stretched his limbs and sat on a sofa in the palatial hotel lobby, inviting Peach to join him.
"Bowser," she hissed, "You are taking advantage of these people!"
Bowser shrugged, "We have to stay somewhere. If we book a cheaper room, we'll be giving them even less money."
Peach was silent; for once, the Koopa King seemed to be correct. A young Goomba in an ornate vest, the hotel uniform, approached the royal couple. "I am here to escort you to the temple. Are you ready?"
The trail to the temple was dusty and mostly uphill. Peach could feel grains of dirt between her toes, slightly begriming her jeweled sandals. Several visitors appeared to be making the same journey, many laughing and talking with other families.
As they approached the temple, copper oil lamps hung in the air, burning brightly. The temple itself was an open-air structure, like a multi-room white marble gazebo on steroids. People flocked the building from every angle and shamans in brightly colored garments and painted faces conducted services amongst the crowds.
A monk with a serene, smiling face graciously manned the water pump where visitors were required to remove their dirty shoes and delicately wash their feet before stepping onto the temple steps.
Peach tucked her hair back under its cool, silken covering and ascended the steps into the temple's large interior, sandals in hand. The main square branched off into various "rooms", many of which held portals like the ones the stars had used to send Bowser and Peach to Amber.
Bowser's hulking form gathered attention at the foot bathing station. Holy golden Lakitus, the guardians of the temple and the land, narrowed their eyes at him and whispered amongst themselves. Peach gently placed her soft fingertips on Bowser's arm, hoping to distract him so as not to make a scene.
Bowser nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt Peach's electric touch. She looked up at him and smiled, with her eyebrows turned upwards in light concern. He couldn't tell what she was trying to communicate, so he just stood still, staring back at her with a dorky smile in return.
The silence of their shared smile would be shattered soon enough. As soon as Bowser stepped into the temple, he was all mouth and vocal chords, making display of his wealth by loudly jangling his bag of coins and lavishly donating with great flourish. Several pilgrims shot disapproving looks at the Koopa King, while monks shook their heads in silence. Thieves turned their heads and struggled to conceal the glint of avarice in their eyes. Peach, naturally, was mortified, pulling her silk cover over her nose and mouth and lowering her eyes so that she could not be seen with him.
A short walk afterwards found them back at the hotel, ready to be pampered. Before trading her silks for a plush cotton robe, Peach gave Bowser a tired look. "Please…behave yourself," she muttered, barely audibly, before disappearing behind the ladies changing room door.
By the time Peach exited the dressing room, Bowser was already wearing the largest white terrycloth robe the hotel had to offer and resting his feet in a steaming bath, fragrant with rose and saffron threads. In his hand was a tall cylindrical glass filled with cucumber water. Peach gripped at her robe, feeling slightly uncomfortable being so close to naked in the Koopa King's presence. He flashed her a toothy grin as she sat at the station next to his with a sigh.
"I hope Chompy is doing okay," she said, feeling guilty for enjoying herself while poor Chompy might be sick and miserable.
"Ah, lighten up," Bowser replied, "Your worrying isn't going to make him get better any faster. Besides, Chomps are tough; he'll survive."
Peach let out a long breath she didn't know she'd been holding as the spa technician, a white Mouser, placed her tired feet into the steaming waters and began to slowly massage each tender muscle. The rose-scented vapors reached her nose and she began to smile in spite of herself. I don't think Bowser's ever been right about so many things in one day.
"So, you seem pretty used to this kind of treatment; you do this sort of thing often?" Peach jokingly asked, noticing Bowser's confidently comfortable facial expression as the spa technician gently filed his claws.
"Father daughter bonding," he said importantly, "It takes work to look this great all the time. You should know," he added with a wink.
Peach looked down at her hands, completely oblivious to the compliment. "I wish I could do more things with my father. He's so busy all the time."
"Heh, don't suppose you want to do more things with old Toady."
Peach laughed, thinking of trying to convince Toadsworth to get a spa treatment of any kind. "Well, yeah, maybe not."
"You could always come with Wendy and I; Granbi knows I could use another ear to listen to her 'boy troubles'. "
Peach gripped the sides of her plush chair suddenly, choking back laughter.
"What's so funny?" Bowser asked before seeing the spa technician scrubbing the bottom of Peach's foot with a pumice stone, the ticklish sensations causing her to shake with laughter. Bowser pretended to scoff at her reaction. "Oh man, pull yourself together…so embarrassing," he teased. "Aren't you a princess? You act like you've never been to a spa before!"
Peach turned to face him after catching her breath. "You're really full of it today, aren't you?"
"If by 'it' you mean 'awesomeness', then yes, I am full of it today and every day," he retorted with a grin.
Peach rolled her eyes and smiled; it was too lame not to laugh a little. The spa Mouser tapped Peach on the shoulders, indicating that it was time to depart for her full-body massage. Peach threw one last bemused smile over her shoulder before she was carried toward the scent of mint and citrus essential oils.
A hot wind caressed Peach's newly flushed cheeks, still dewy from the afternoon massage. She sat upon a silk cushion in the open-air pavilion, admiring the feast on the low table before her. There were bowls deep with fragrant, vibrantly colored curries, glasses filled with sweet frothy mango nectar, plates piled high with saffron rice and perfectly baked roti. The sweetest, most delicious fruits in season were perfectly presented, garnished with mint leaves and a touch of yogurt sauce on the side. Even for a princess used to luxurious meals, the sight was breathtaking and undeniably appetizing. It took all of Peach's fortitude not to sneak any food before the Koopa King returned from his mysterious errand.
Luckily, Bowser was back before long with a smile plastered across his face. The light from the setting sun on his face made him look like he was positively glowing; even his tail swished back and forth with excitement.
The grin was contagious; Peach couldn't help but smile back. "You seem happy, any particular reason?"
Bowser bit his lip as he dug into the food with gusto. "It's a secret," he explained.
Peach raised both eyebrows. "A secret? From me? Can I at least have a hint?"
Bowser shifted nervously, he did want to keep it a secret, but Peach looked so cute when she asked him for things. "We have somewhere to go, but that's all I'm telling you so don't even bother asking again."
"Hmm, okay."
Okay? She said okay! She wants to go with me! Gotta keep it cool now, don't seem too excited…
Bowser's tail swished back and forth excitedly the entire meal. With Peach at his side he couldn't find one thing to complain about, which was all the better for Peach's ears. Instead, the conversation was light and pleasant. Peach wondered how Bowser could be so charming one minute and such a boorish brute the next.
After the meal, Bowser stood and extended a gentle claw to Peach. He was elated when she accepted his assistance; the warmth of her hand against his provided an extra adrenaline shot and made his heart race. The sun was just beginning to set and the evening stars were peeking from their twilit curtains.
Peach rubbed her tummy gently, "That was excellent; I don't think I've been this full in a long time. Mm, I'm almost ready for a nap."
Bowser's face turned to one of panic. "You can't! We're going somewhere, remember?"
Peach smiled, "How could I forget? I said almost ready, I won't be fully ready until you've shown me this surprise."
Bowser felt his internal temperature begin to rise as he led Peach away from the hotel. Alright, where did he say it was…take a left from the green overhang, straight past the fishmonger's sign… Bowser unknowingly tightened his grip on Peach's hand, as if trying to hold on to more of that electrifying sensation.
Where is he taking us? Unlike Bowser, Peach was acutely aware of the Koopa King grasping her hand as if it were a rescue rope thrown to a drowning man. Whatever this was, it was obviously very important to him.
At last, they arrived at a waterfront where fireflies darted about, slowly pulsing their lights across the water's surface. Tall grasses surrounded the entire lake to ensure insulation from the outside word and absolute privacy.
"This is it!" As Bowser was expecting, there was a small rowboat tethered to the weathered dock in the lagoon.
The last shreds of twilight were being swiftly devoured by darkness. The breeze present during the day had died down and the night was hot, dark, still, and thick with the sound of crickets. Bowser helped Peach into the rowboat and began rowing out into the middle of the lagoon.
Peach gasped when she saw the water moving beneath the oars, as every stroke lit the water a fluorescent aqua.
"What is this?"
"Phosphorescent algae," Bowser recited carefully from memory. "Pretty cool, huh?"
"It's beautiful!"
Peach let her hand trail in the water and marveled at the neon trail it left behind. "Ooh, it's so warm."
Bowser looked softly at Peach, who was leaning over the edge of the boat, flicking the water to make phosphorescent ripples on the surface. He opened his mouth to speak, but words wouldn't come out. To be so close, in such an atmosphere, with the woman he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, it filled him with a surge of energy that was at once invigorating and debilitating.
While Bowser searched for words, Peach flicked the water and was surprised to find little glowing fishes sweetly "kissing" her fingers, hoping to find some algae or other fishy treats. It sure was nice of Bowser to take me out here to see this. I wonder how he found it…he hasn't said a word since we got here.
Peach drew her eyes away from the mesmerizing glowing waters and turned them toward the Koopa King, whose anxiety was only heightened. "The water is so warm here," she repeated, "Do you think it's safe to swim in?"
Snapped out of his trance, Bowser coughed to prime his dry throat for speaking. "Yeah, I think so. That kid said it's a popular place for swimming because there aren't any pointy rocks or dangerous fish."
Without a sound Peach rose with a smile on her lips and allowed herself to fall backwards into the water, fully clothed. After the crash landing on Emerald, she thought she might never enjoy swimming again, but this lagoon renewed her faith in the sport. Her every movement resulted in phosphorescent glitter and little fish blew buoyant bubbles that tickled her skin under her silks. The warm water soothed away any remaining tension while Peach floated on her back, feeling weightless.
Though Bowser had long ago announced his retirement from swimming, he found himself eager to join Peach. He hopped from the little boat with a mighty splash, causing neon droplets to fly everywhere, temporarily scattering the fireflies. Bowser surfaced with a laugh, his usual fiery mane flattened by the weight of the water.
He flicked a few shining droplets of water at Peach before diving under the glittering surface. He stretched both hands above his head and counted off on his fingers. When all ten fingers were raised he surfaced with his eyes closed, water dripping off his massive eyebrows, and bellowed, "Marco".
Peach giggled, and saw as silently as she could, softly calling, "Polo".
Bowser glided forward, beckoned forward by the sound of his love's voice. He squinted his already closed eyes and listened carefully for the sound of treading water. "Marco," he called out cautiously.
"Polo," replied Peach softly, before changing directions to sneak away. However, this time the Koopa King heard her splash, and turned to face her. Realizing she was caught, Peach abandoned all notion of stealth and tried to swim away as fast as she could. Peach's swimming ability was no match for Bowser's powerful strokes. He shuddered in delight as his hand brushed her calf. His eyes popped open and he declared himself the winner.
When Peach became tired of treading water, Bowser retreated into his shell with his massive lungs full of air. Then, Peach delicately climbed on his floating shell, taking care to avoid the spikes. From there, she climbed into the boat, and Bowser took the rope between his teeth. Dog paddling like a champion, Bowser then towed the princess and the boat back to the dock.
Back ashore, Peach and Bowser sat on the end of the dock, drip-drying in the hot night air. Peach yawned softly and smiled, eyes half closed in a cutely drowsy manner. They looked at the stars together; the lack of city lights made the sky look dazzling. A shooting star darted across the sky.
"Oh look," Peach mumbled, "Did you see the shooting star?"
"Yeah." Bowser fidgeted, hoping Peach would not ask what he had wished for. Bowser was surprised when the question did not come. Instead, Peach rested her head lightly on his arm, her cheek pressed to his warm scales. Bowser's eyes widened and he became as stiff as a board. He could not help but flex his biceps a little so they would feel strong and muscular, the way a king's should, but otherwise he could not bring himself to move lest it disturb the resting princess and cause her to move away.
She stayed by his side, snuggled next to his arm, for a glorious five minutes. She might have stayed for longer, but Bowser heard voices in the distance. Peach likes her privacy so she might be embarrassed to be seen like this. Though it pained Bowser to do so, he cleared his throat softly and shook his body to lightly jostle the princess.
Peach looked up with a start, her eyes moony and wide. "Oh, oh I'm so sorry…"
Bowser shook his head, dismissing her apology. The voices trailed off in the distance, leaving the area entirely quiet again. Bowser cleared his throat a second time, this time in preparation for speech. "Uh…I, um, have something for you."
Peach tilted her head to one side inquisitively. Bowser flushed as he took a long rectangular box from one of the compartments in his shell.
"I almost forgot. The box might be a little wet."
Peach accepted the box with a smile. Inside, she found a beautiful bracelet constructed of thick, coin-like gold circles about the diameter of Peach's earrings. Inside the circles were thinly cut jewels, each one corresponding to an island to which Bowser and Peach had traveled. At the end were three empty slots.
"This is so you can always remember our…adventure," he mumbled.
"Thank you," Peach replied, "it's beautiful."
"When we find the rest of the Koopalings, I'll have the rest of the slots filled. If they're not on the Jewel Islands, well, you can have whatever stones you want."
Peach blushed. Not knowing what else to say, she merely thanked him again.
"I hope…you're not too tired of helping me. I was…glad, you know, when you kept your promise and you chose to come here. So, yeah, thanks for that. But seriously, if you are tired of being on the road and adventuring and you want to go back, I'll try to find a way to get you back to the Emerald Fortress or even back home to the Mushroom Kingdom if you'd like."
Peach blinked and thought for a moment. He is really willing to let me go home? Her duty as princess compelled her to take him up on his offer and find a way back to her people, and yet, something compelled her to stay.
She looked at her shining new bracelet loosely clasped around her wrist, eyeing the two holes. It seemed wrong to leave an adventure incomplete. How could she abandon Bowser? What if he got into a tight spot? What would become of the Koopalings? Truthfully, she did miss her home, the comforts of her castle, her own wardrobe, the Mario Brothers, and all her other friends and servants.
Peach sighed, "Thank you for your offer. I really do miss home but…I know I need to see this through. There is a menace out there that has stolen the Koopalings and is attempting to steal their life force! Who knows why or what other atrocities he has or will commit? It is…for the good of my people and the good of the world that we track down this criminal and bring him to justice."
Bowser grinned, elated that she again chose to stay with him. He grinned until he felt like his cheeks felt like they were about to burst, feeling thankful that the dark kept his expression mostly hidden. She wanted to stay until they found all his kids!
"Thanks," he muttered, unable to find the worlds to express his extreme relief and happiness. "I…sometimes…being around you makes me want to do nice things," he stammered awkwardly. "For you only," he added quickly, lest there be any confusion.
Peach chuckled softly. "Well, it was certainly nice to have a massage, a hot shower, and a delicious meal after that ordeal on the mountain. The only thing I'm lacking right now is a soft, fluffy bed; I'm very tired. Are you ready to go back to the hotel."
Bowser groaned, lifting himself off the unforgiving dock. The swim back was more strenuous than he had realized at the time. His limbs were heavy with fatigue. "Sure, let's go back," he answered, offering his arm to the princess.
Peach kindly accepted and they journeyed back to the hotel without incident.
The next morning, Patil interrupted Bowser and Peach's fruit breakfast on the pavilion to update them on Chompy's status. Peach was relieved to hear that Chompy was making a swift recovery and his voracious appetite had made a full return. With another day of Mausi Latika's expert care and delicious curries, Chompy was expected to be travel ready by the next day.
In the meantime, Bowser and Peach decided to head to the marketplace to kill time and look for clues about the mysterious magician from Amber. The streets were lined with merchants under great patterned tarps selling various foods and wares. Peach held her bag closely to avoid being a victim of theft in the throng of people, though her jangling bracelet garnered a lot of attention from greedy thieves.
They stopped to admire a shop full of burnished lamps of all shapes, sizes, and metals. Peach picked up a particularly dingy looking one. "I wonder if it's got a genie inside," she joked.
The shopkeeper laughed, "Perhaps you should purchase it to find out!"
A customer looking for medicines at the next stall popped his head over to comment. "Do not be fooled by this scoundrel. He is trying to bamboozle you! A true genie in a lamp is a very rare thing! You are most likely to get a lamp with the spirit of a one-thousand-year-old man who will curse your family with his presence. He will complain about the youth and on rainy days, he will demand you rub medicine on his arthritic joints."
"Oh. What a pity." Peach said through gritted teeth, setting down the lamp gently, lest she rub it and find herself cursed with the spirit of a one-thousand-year-old man.
Some time later, a wafting scent caught Peach and Bowser's attention. It was undeniably sweet, and carried the spicy fragrance of ginger, pepper, cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, fennel, and nutmeg, all combined with the freshness of tea. Upon Peach's request, they followed the scent as best they could, hoping to find the source.
They followed their noses away from the marketplace, down a narrow alley, and into a small but cozy shop. A Koopa wearing simple garments was stirring a large pot of chai. He smiled when Bowser and Peach entered. He spoke with a thick accent, "Welcome travelers. Would you like a cup of spiced chai? Only one coin for the both of you."
Peach sniffed the air again. "Well, I wouldn't mind a break," she said, stretching her feet in her jeweled sandals. "Maybe he has some clues about your missing kids."
The Koopa gratefully accepted the coin, then dipped a long ladle into the cauldron and poured the steaming liquid into two hand-sized clay cups. He hummed happily as he rearranged his tea and spice rack. He listened carefully to Peach's speech as she talked about Bowser's missing children.
He was ready with a smirk when the princess's speech began to slur and she rapidly lost consciousness. Bowser tried to leap from his seat with a start, only to fall to his side. As Bowser lost consciousness, the last thing he saw was several more Koopas emerging from large pots in the room, approaching with cloth sacks and ropes.
Bowser, being larger, awoke first, not long after blacking out. The ropes binding him shredded easily and he found himself on the dirt floor of a dimly lit closet. As expected, his sack of coins was missing.
He found Peach next to him and attempted to shake her awake. She groaned and opened her eyes a sliver. Bowser breathed in relief before noticing her bracelet and jeweled sandals were gone.
He picked her up gently, cradling her in his arms so she wouldn't have to be on the dirty floor. Just as he was gathering his bearings, he heard a familiar voice outside the door.
"Ya gotta be kiddin' me! You moron! Now we got da law on our tails! What did I tell ya about pickin' up rich tourists?"
Bowser could hardly believe his ears. He ran to the door, only to discover it was locked from the other side. He pounded the wood with his fists in warning.
"Dis is bad. Dis is real bad. Da dupes are awake. Dis is all your fault."
Bowser could hear muffled protests from behind the door. "You fools better get out of the way, because I'm comin' out!" He roared. He set down the princess and prepared to smash down the door.
Roy looked at the door curiously, "Pops?"
The door splintered into a thousand prices and out came the mighty Koopa King ready to split heads. Roy's eyes went wide with recognition. "Pops!"
Bowser was just as pleased to see that the voice really was his son, Roy. "There better be a good explanation for this," Bowser growled, not completely able to hide the relief in his voice. "I wanna know what happened, where we are, and what's going on."
"Sure thing, Pops, but we gots bigger fish to fry right now. We gots dem Lakitus on our trail. Dere's too many to take 'em and dere gonna be here at any minute, we gotta run."
Bowser nodded, not fully understanding the circumstance, but appreciating the urgency. He picked Peach back off the floor.
"Woah-ho," exclaimed Roy, "Didn't know you brought Mama Peach along. Good thinkin', Pops."
"Don't be stupid," Bowser growled. "I dunno what mess you got us in, but you better get us out of here right now or else you'll be scrubbing the dungeons for weeks."
"Sure, sure. I had a secret passage installed, just in case my little…operation ran into any trouble."
Roy, Bowser, Peach, and a few underlings ran down a thin corridor until running into a dead end. Roy pushed up on a wooden platform above them. Light streamed from the city streets into the dark underground tunnel as everyone frantically climbed out, only to be surprised by several Holy Lakitus surrounding the area, barring entrance back into the tunnel.
"Busted!" growled Roy.
"Roy Koopa!" called the eldest, most venerated Lakitu of the group. The other Lakitus bowed their heads as he floated by. He wore flowing robes of pure white embroidered with gold thread, a tall, pointed mitre upon his head. The three royals, ignorant of tradition, failed to bow before the Lakitu. He scoffed, clearly displeased.
"You shall not escape justice this time," he proclaimed, unfurling a scroll. "Roy Koopa, you are hereby charged with petty theft, kidnapping, creating civil unrest, disturbing the peace, trespassing, participating in organized crime, and funding terrorist organizations."
Roy grimaced and growled, "Da only terrorist organization in dis town is you!"
The head Lakitu raised his upper lip in disgust. "Please add heresy on top of Mr. Koopa's charges."
"You can stuff your 'heresy'. King Dad, ya gotta listen! I was brought here by deez mooks. Of course, I ditched 'em the second I got a chance, but I got wound up in dis…thing. Our Koopa brothas have been fightin' da power! Deez here crooks have been takin' all da donations and givin' dem to some rich fat cats. My brothas here have been tryin' to expose 'em and give dis city back to da people."
"Ignorant child! You know not what you say! How can you be so sure that these 'brothers' you speak of are not merely criminals taking advantage of your childish naivety?"
Roy cracked his knuckles in a menacing way, unaccustomed to such insults against his maturity. The Lakitus shot a glance of warning at the Koopaling.
"Your Grace," Peach interjected, "as you yourself have just noted, he is only a child. Surely he cannot be tried and convicted for crimes as an adult would."
"He can and he will," the Lakitu proclaimed in a deadpan voice. "It does not suit a woman to interrupt a conversation among men. If you wish to stay in Amber, you would be well-advised to remember this advice."
Peach pursed her lips and her cheeks flushed as she seethed. The nerve! I will not stand for this! "If it please you, Your Grace, we have no desire to stay in your city. The boy is not a resident of Amber; under international law he must be deported to his home kingdom and prosecuted under the laws of his own state."
The Lakitu spun around, clearly annoyed at having been interrupted and contradicted twice, by a woman no less. "I have not heard of such law. I will check with my superiors, but in the meantime the boy is to be detained. I will hear no further argument; you will hold your tongue."
Peach stomped her foot and threw off her silken veil in protest. "I will not hold my tongue! This child is a royal prince of the Darklands. You have no right to detain him, especially not without proper evidence or trial. He will be deported according to international law, or you commit an international crime before the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom and the King of the Darklands."
The lead Lakitu stiffened his lower lip. The others floated in closer to see what their famously unyielding leader would do. Bowser folded his arms and did his best to look generally menacing to add an element of brute force behind the red-faced, quaking woman in pink.
"Very well," retorted the Lakitu stiffly. "By the power vested in me by the almighty celestial beings, I dispose of this criminal to you according to international law under the condition that the three of you are hereby permanently banished from the Amber Holy Lands, never to return. May the stars have pity on you," he spat, barely concealing his hatred and resentment toward the royals. "Leave by sundown," he commanded, and with that, floated away with the rest of the Lakitus, muttering curses.
"Woah dere Mama Peach! Dat was some pretty fancy talkin'! You got us out of a real jam."
Peach did not seem amused. "Roy, what happened back there was really serious! You can't just come into another country and aid criminal organizations, regardless of how noble your intentions might have been."
Peach glanced at Bowser, waiting for him to intervene. He popped to attention with a start. "Uh, right, what your Mama Peach said is right! You're a criminal now, so that means as King of the Darklands, I'm gonna have to sentence you."
"Aww, man, c'mon Pops…"
"No. I was out collecting clues about where you were and then you ruined everything. You know I hate to be disturbed when I'm busy! There will be consequences!"
"'Ey, but if you weren't interrupted, you neva would have found me," Roy protested. "Speakin' of, here's your stuff." Roy tossed Bowser's sack of coins to him, and held out the bracelet. "Dis yours, Mama Peach?"
"Yes."
"So now dat you gots your stuff back and dere's no harm done, can I be let off the hook?"
"No!" shouted Peach and Bowser simultaneously.
After collecting their possessions at the hotel, Peach was delighted to reunite with Chompy; however, their celebration was to be short lived as the sun sank further into the sky.
"We gotta get outta town," Bowser muttered. "If we don't hurry up, we're not gonna have a place to stay tonight."
"Don't worry about a thing, Pops. I know a couple o' people who know a couple o' people who can getcha outta town fast."
"But, where will we go?" asked Peach.
"Not gonna lie, we're out in da middle o' nowhere. I heard some rumors about anotha Koopaling off to the East. Sounded a lot like Larry Boy, if ya know what I mean. I'll have my boys take ya out that way and put ya up for the night. It might not be as plush as da Taj over dere, but at least you'll have a roof over ya heads."
Upon cue, Roy's Koopa "brothers" showed up towing a couple of bicycle rickshaws ostensibly modified for off-road riding. "Hey man, thanks again for everything. We have to split town too before we get put in prison."
"Hey Roy," called Bowser, "I just thought of your sentence."
Roy groaned; he was hoping everyone would just forget about the whole "sentencing" thing.
"For now, I need you to get your tail back to the Emerald Fortress, by whatever means necessary. When you get there, I you will take control and mobilize the troops. You're gonna guard that fortress day and night. If I come back and there is one sentry out of place…it'll be your hide. Understand?"
Roy grinned; this was possibly the best sentence he could have asked for! "Yeah yeah, I'll do it. Now get outta here before dem rotten no-goods come back."
With that, Peach and Bowser boarded their rickshaws and parted ways with the outlaw Koopaling.
Bowser clapped his hand to his forehead and shook his head. Kids.
