Walking back to her bunk, Red couldn't stop crying. It wasn't even a boo who kind of crying, she was silent, but tears streamed down her cheeks like waterfalls, there wasn't a way to stop them so she just let them flow. And her pain? She didn't care about her lung or her bruises. Her heart ache was overriding it.
Nicky. My girl. My beautiful girl..what will happen? I...I... Red's mind was swarming with possibilities both good..and bad.
She got to her bunk and sat down on her bed. She wasn't even tired. Nicky had been out of her sight for all of 20 minutes and already she missed her like she had been gone for years. She laid down on her side, brought her knees up to her chest and silently cried for hours, thinking about nothing but Nicky, until the sun shine came through her window.
Piper opened her eyes and looked over at Red, "Good morning."
Red said nothing.
Seeing that her eyes were blood shot she asked, "Long night?" Piper didn't know what happened, her comment was sincere, Red couldn't be mad at her for it.
Red said nothing.
"Ok then." And she got up to go to the bathroom.
*In the kitchen*
"Where is Red? She's the one that came up with the rule that we all be here an hour before breakfast to start prepping." Gina was being a sensitive little squirrel today.
"She probably just over slept, it happens to the best of us." Morello tried to keep a light atmosphere even though she had to admit that it was very, very unlike Red to be late to things, especially when dealing with the kitchen.
Now Norma was a little bit of a different story. She knew something was up with her and Nicky but didn't know exactly what it was but she suspected that Red was with Nicky somewhere. Norma didn't want to let the others know in case it was real deep trouble, she had to protect the family as best she could when Red wasn't around.
"Whatever, let's just get on with it like normal." Gina grumbled. And they did.
When it was time to eat, the girls left the kitchen to sit with the rest of the group.
"Morning everyone." Boo was always so cheery in the mornings compared to the others.
"Hey, Chapman."
"Yeah?"
"You're Red's bunkie. What's she up to?" Morello knew Piper would know something.
"Oh, yeah. She ummm...well I don't know really. She was just laying there in bed. She didn't get up, she didn't even say hello or good morning. I tried talking to her, but I got no response. Her eyes were real red, like she had been up all night and was exhausted. But then she seemed so depressed, maybe it was from crying...or both, who knows?"
"Well what about Nichols? She needs to not make this a habit of coming in super late to breakfast everyday." Morello couldn't hide her concern.
"That's right, it is the most important meal of the day. It's gets the metabolism started."
"Jones, do you always have to give a health lesson?" Boo said and the girls smiled.
Norma shrunk a little in her seat, unfortunately it didn't go unnoticed.
"Norma, you know something?" Morello was going to get to the bottom of this.
Norma just looked at Morello. "Well will you go see what's going on with Red, at least? If you already know something then I'm sure she won't mind sharing some more with you."
Norma nodded.
"After breakfast?"
She nodded again.
And they carried on.
After breakfast, as promised, Norma went to Red's bunk and sure enough, she was laying there with her knees up to her chest and tears occasionally leaking from her eyes.
Norma gasped, partially as a natural reaction and partially to let Red know she was there.
Red's eyes moved just slightly to make eye contact with Norma but she was still silent.
Norma walked over to her and knelt in front of her. Her eyes imploring Red to explain.
"Nicky.." was all Red managed.
Norma looked at Red and felt her heart ache. Her best friend, laying in front of her, was in such a state of, what looked like mourning if Norma was being honest. That's when Norma feared the worst. She still didn't know what was going on, but if Red wasn't with Nicky and Red was acting like this, then it could not be good. Norma's eyes watered a little.
Norma looked at Red and Red knew she wanted to know what happened. Red didn't know if she could speak the words, but she tried.
"Nicky..Nicky's at...hospital." Red choked out between sobs. Speaking it made it all the more real.
Norma just gawked at her.
"Get the girls together and go ask Healy. He will tell you...I can't..." Red let her last words just drift off into space as she began to weep.
Norma winced at her best friend's sobs, she sounded so wounded. Red's heart ache was so severe and plain to see.
"I don't want anyone to come talk to me once you all find out. I want to be alone, and even if you did, I can't talk about it at all, I can barely say this..."
Norma put her hand on Red's shoulder and Red knew that that meant that Norma understood. She gave her shoulder a little squeeze and left to go gather the girls.
*In Healy's Office*
"She's where?" Morello burst into tears immediately.
"Look ladies, all I know is that Nichols was somehow given a combination of a lot of heroin through a dirty needle as well as starting a detox, however I think those two might have canceled each other out. But yes, she was taken by ambulance to a hospital late last night."
"When will she be back?" Gina asked.
"I don't know."
"Is she alright?" Morello said through her tears.
"I don't know that either. I'm sorry, but there isn't anything I can do until the hospital calls and lets me know when..well I've got to wait for the hospital's call." Healy had to stop himself, he didn't know when or if Nichols was coming back.
"Is she going to die?" Morello asked, her heart breaking at the thought.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know. Red was talking to me last night about it, and she said that it is possible."
At this, all of the girls had tears forming in their eyes.
"I'm sorry. I will let you know when I know more." was all Healy could think of to say and he asked them to go about their day as best they could.
Once out in the hall way, Morello said, "I'm going to Red!"
Norma put her hand on her shoulder to stop her and when Morello turned around, Norma shook her head no.
"Why?"
Norma gave Morello the saddest look she could.
"She wants to be alone?"
Norma gave a small nod.
"Alright." Morello sniffled. "Well what are we going to do?" And they all just looked at each with tears in their eyes.
*In Red's Bunk*
I have to see her. I have to talk to her. I have to know that she is ok, Red's mind was not letting her rest, but at the same time did she even want to rest? When her girl was out there, maybe dying, maybe already dead, did Red really want to rest? No. She got up for the first time that day and walked slowly to Healy's office. She passed by several people who said "Hello" or "Good afternoon." Or "Missed you at breakfast, hope to see you at lunch." But Red ignored all of them. She kept her head straight and her eyes in front of her, she still had the occasional tear slip down her cheek.
She didn't remember the walk to Healy's office. All she knew was one minute she was in her bed and now she was about to knock on Healy's door. Her mind was somewhere else...
She knocked.
"Come in."
She opened the door and stood in the doorway.
"Red, how are you holding up?"
She ignored his question.
"I need to see her."
"She's still at the hospital."
"I need to see her." Red repeated, desperation clearly in her tone.
"You do know that I can't send you to the hospital. You are in prison, don't forget."
"I know."
"Then why ask?"
"Because maybe you would say yes."
"Well I won't be saying yes to that request."
"Alright." And she left.
Every hour, on the hour from 9amm until 9pm, Red got up from her bed, went to Healy's office and had the same exact dialogue. She did this for the first 3 days.
*At breakfast*
"Guys I'm really starting to get really concerned about Red." Piper said. She was her bunkie, so she knew what Red did while in the bunk. "Have you noticed her routine? I mean, every hour on the hour like 10 times a day or something she gets up and goes to Healy's office. She's never gone for more than 15 minutes. I guess she goes to the bathroom when she's out because she doesn't go when it's our assigned bathroom time. And, she still isn't talking to me. But I'm not taking it personally, she still isn't talking to anyone. Has she talked to you guys?"
They all said no.
"She just lays on her side like in the fetal position. Most of the time she is crying but sometimes she isn't. I try talking to her and offering some supportive words but she doesn't even seem to be listening. She's always just staring out the window. Come to think of...I don't think she has slept either. When I go to sleep her eyes are open and then when I wake up her eyes are always open, and I'm an early riser." Piper continued.
"She hasn't been in the kitchen." Gina said, "Norma and I are there now most of the time; running the kitchen is a tough job, I didn't realize how much you've got to do, I'll give her that."
"You saying she hasn't eaten?" Morello was shocked.
Gina and Norma shook their heads.
"In 3 days? Holy shit, I would've died."
"Boo this isn't the time for a joke..." Morello was trying not to cry.
"Well has anyone heard anything about Nicky yet?" Piper wanted to know.
Again, they all replied with a "No."
*In Red's Bunk*
3 days. It's been 3 days without her girl...without her sweet Nicky...
She hasn't eaten. She wasn't hungry.
She hasn't slept. She wasn't tired.
She wasn't talking. She couldn't get words out. Except the few she mumbled to Healy. She knew he would never let her leave, especially since Nicky wasn't a blood relative, but still she had to ask. For the sake of her daughter, she had to ask.
She didn't even think about what Pornsatche did to her..to them.. She didn't have the strength to get angry, only to feel her natural emotions about her daughter.
This sadness hurt, like mourning. Mourning for your child? That's worse than anything. Red felt like there wasn't a point to her life if Nicky wasn't going to have hers. She didn't know what condition Nicky was in. Surely if she was dead they would've told Litchfield, and by consequence, Healy would've told her, right? Of course, at least Red hoped against hope that that would be the case.
At the worst possible moment she could be thinking these thoughts, she squinted her eyes and looked out of her bunk.
No...
Healy was walking toward her. Maybe he is going to someone else's bunk. She looked around. It was the middle of the day, no one was in their bunks. They were at work or running around the track or something...Red feared for her life.
"Red, can you come to my office? The hospital called."
