Thanks for the review! :)
Chapter seven
Present
Bright light. Voices, but too vague to hear. Vinnie blinked a few times and his sight became sharper. His hearing too. He could hear Violet yelling Throttle's name. He tried to turn his head, to see her. But the muscles in his neck stopped him from doing that. He moaned. His whole body was on fire. Every muscle, every bone, every joint… Dammit.
A hand on his forehead. A face suddenly came into view and protected him from the bright light. Big, green eyes. Black hair. A caramel coloured fur… his girl. His home.
"Sweetheart", he tried to say, but there was only a soft whisper coming out of his mouth. He coughed, since his mouth was as dry as the Martian desert. Violet was talking to him, but he couldn't really understand what she was saying. His head was pounding. Suddenly, a few drops of water in his mouth. Yeah, that felt good. He wanted more, but Violet shook her head. Damn, he was tired. He yawned and his eyes closed. He fighted to keep them open, but his body didn't listen. And slowly, he fell asleep. But no dreams this time. No, just darkness.
"Vinnie? Shit, he was awake, Throttle. Why…"
Throttle held up his hand.
"Swee is gonna examine him. Let's wait what he's got to say about this, okay?"
Violet opened her mouth again, but then closed it. Throttle had called the doctor the moment Vinnie had opened his eyes and Swee was on his way.
A few minutes later, he walked in.
"So, our loudmouth woke up?", he asked while grabbing some instruments. Violet nodded.
"Yeah. He even tried to say something. But then his eyes closed again and…"
Swee lay a hand on her shoulder. She looked at him, fear in her eyes.
"Easy, Violet. You need to stay calm. For your baby. For yourself. Now, step aside, so I can examine him."
Violet did what he said and she and Throttle waited impatiently till the doc was done.
Finally, Swee turned around.
"He is sleeping. So, besides being extremely tired, he is fine."
Violet's eyes grew big and she grabbed Throttle's hand without even noticing.
"He… He is fine?", she asked, her voice sharp.
"Even he was lying in some sort of coma for so long, his body was fighting all the time. He must be exhausted. And after lying in bed for so long, his muscles and joints are stiff. But nothing that can't be fixed. He just needs rest and when he is ready, he needs movement. But, first; rest. Don't be surprised if he is gonna sleep for 24 hours. Give him time. But yeah, Violet. He is fine."
Violet grabbed him and pulled him in a hug. Swee, at first a little surprised by this, wrapped his arms around her, even though it was a bit unhandy because of her big belly, and clapped her softly on the back.
"Thank you… Thank you so much. For believing in him. For not giving up. Thank you…", she whispered, tears in her eyes.
Swee wasn't really a mouse who liked physical contact. He was reserved. Calm. Quiet. But he was touched. He slowly made himself loose from Violet and looked at her big belly.
"He woke up right on time. Two weeks to go, right?", he asked.
Violet nodded. She was so relieved. She was so scared Vinnie was gonna miss the birth of their child. But by the looks of things, he was gonna be there. And she was grateful. Because she couldn't do this alone. She needed him. Besides, it was not only her child. No, it was his too. So, they were in this together.
The next day, Vinnie woke up again. He moaned in pain, since his body was killing him. But he felt his head was clear now.
"Vinnie. Hey, cutie… You okay?"
Violet's voice was filled with worry. Vinnie slowly turned his head to look at her and smiled. His beautiful girl. Her beautiful green eyes. His gaze lowered and his heart stopped. Her belly was twice as big as the last time he saw her. He tried to get up, but his body protested loud. Violet quickly pushed him back.
"Easy, Vin. You need to take things slow."
"How long was I out?!" he asked, somehow scared. And confused.
"Almost three months…", Violet said slowly, still pushing him down. Vinnie's eyes grew big. Three months? Holy shit.
"Jezus… Violet, are you okay? How is our baby?", he asked, still trying to get up but Violet was stronger this time.
"Vin, easy. I'm fine. The baby is fine. You sure got us scared, but everything will be okay now that you are back."
"But Carbine called, there was something wrong with you, I…"
Violet suddenly realized that was his last memory. For her, it felt like that happened years ago. For him, it felt like it was yesterday. Weird.
"That was three months ago, sweetie. The baby was lying in a uncomfortable position and didn't liked it. So, that caused some heavy pains, but we are both okay. You on the other hand… look like shit. Cutie."
Vinnie stared at her and one corner of his mouth curled into a arrogant smile.
"Geez, thanks sweetheart. I always look good. And you know it."
Violet laughed. Yep, he was back. She had missed him so much. Even his ego, his arrogance…
"Now, sweetheart… Kiss me like you've missed me…", he whispered, winking at her.
She leaned forward and pressed her lips on his. He kissed her back eagerly, his hands in her hair. They broke off the kiss because of their need for air.
"So, ehm… Three months, right? That means that little mousie is almost ready to be born, right?", Vinnie asked, looking her in the eye. Violet nodded and smiled.
"Yeah, two more weeks… But it can happen any day now. And thank the mothers of Mars, you are here when our little sprout is gonna born…"
She saw how his eyes suddenly filled with sadness and fear.
"Cutie, what's wrong?", she asked worried. He shook his head.
"Nothing. Now, can a mouse get something to drink around here? My mouth and throat almost crumble into dust."
Violet noticed he quickly changed the subject, but she decided to leave it for now. She grabbed a glass of water and gave it to him. He drank it empty in one big gulp.
"Aahh, so much better. Now, can I please get out of this bed?", he asked, looking at Violet. She smiled.
"Sure, let's give it a try. But take it easy, okay? Your body needs time to…" but she trailed off when Vinnie was already out of bed. She rolled her eyes.
"Sure, why listen to me?", she mumbled. Vinnie winked at her. He stretched his muscles.
"Dammit, I need to start training again. Look at my body! Look at it! It's… skinny…", he pouted.
Violet looked at him and saw he was right. His arms were a lot skinnier, his abs were completely gone and his legs were also thin. She smiled. He kinda looked cute, instead of a tough macho mouse. A giggle escaped her mouth. Vinnie stared at her, pointing a finger in her direction.
"Don't you dare to laugh at this. This is…" but Violet burst out into laughter. She just couldn't help it. He looked so different. And she was so relieved he was awake. She didn't care how he looked like. As long as he was here. And she knew that with a little bit of training, he was gonna back to his old self soon enough. Vinnie sighed and crossed his arms before his chest.
"Honestly… Women…", he growled softly, his eyes rolling. Violet slowly calmed down.
"I'm sorry, cutie, but come on… You look like Mickey Mouse… It…" but she stopped talking when she saw the look on his face. Okay. Enough was enough. She knew how much his looks meant to him.
"Okay, I'm sorry. Come on, let's get you outside. Some fresh air will do you good."
Vinnie nodded and took the sweatpants Violet gave to him. With a little bit of effort, he put on the pants and walked unsteady to the door. Violet followed him.
Once outside, he stopped and took a few deep breaths. His body felt stiff, but he already felt it was getting a little bit better. He just needed to move. And start training again. Dammit. Violet stood next to him and gently grabbed his hand.
"Ready?", she asked.
He nodded. Ready. They slowly walked to the lake. Vinnie wanted to take a swim, because one; he felt his body needed that and second; he didn't like to admit it, but he smelled. Bad.
"So, how are things going here?", Vinnie asked when they were both in the water. He had Violet in his arms, her back against his (skinny) torso. He had lay his hands on her belly and felt the baby kicking.
"Well, good actually. Throttle and Carbine are busy with Tread. That little boy looks a lot like you sometimes, honestly… Gaya is even bigger than me and has one week to go. Modo is doing fine. Dani and Swee are still together, he asked her to marry him. She said yes, obviously. They marry next week. Stoker has his hands full with Jake and Rimfire, these two boys are giving him a very hard time… And the rest of the group is fine. We are not that close to the others, but that's nothing new… Everybody is doing fine. Well, they all were very worried about you, but now you are awake... "
Vinnie closed his eyes and listened to his wife's voice, chattering about everybody. His mind wandered off, to his dreams. He still didn't know how to deal with it. One part of him was saying; let it go, the past is the past. But another part of him was saying; dude, shame on you. Big time. For the things you did. You are no parent material. Someone like you, who even raped a girl, can never be a good father. You are damaged. Forever.
Truth is; he was scared. Very scared. To become a father. Now he had relived all the bad things he had done when he was young… Jezus, he couldn't get Cole's voice out of his head.
"What happened to you that you became such a monster? I almost feel sorry for you… You will pay for what you did. You will live your whole live alone, with nobody by your side. With no love, no joy, no happiness… And I sure hope you live long enough to feel the loneliness. To suffocate in it!"
Cole was right. He didn't deserve all this. He didn't deserve Violet, he didn't deserve this child… He was gonna mess it up, like he always does. He..
"VINNIE!"
His eyes flew open. Violet had turned herself around when she noticed her beloved husband wasn't listening to her anymore.
"Sorry, sweetheart. You were saying?", Vinnie said, his voice toneless.
"Nothing that is important. Are you okay, cutie? Please, talk to me…"
Vinnie stared in her eyes. Why did she even love him? Well, maybe because she doesn't know about everything you have done. You never told her about Elena.. a voice in his head whispered.
"I eh… Yeah, I'm fine. Just enjoying the water…" and he smiled reassuring at her. But the smile didn't reach his eyes. Violet thought about it. About her talk with Throttle. That Vinnie probably was reliving his whole childhood. And that he needed them when he woke up. That he would be emotional unstable. But there was something stopping him from talking to her.
That made her mad, actually. Why, for fuck sake why, was he hiding something from her? Again? But she decided to talk to Throttle first. Vinnie just woke up from lying in a coma for three months. She didn't want to jump on him the first day he was awake. Well… She did wanted to jump on him. But in another way...
Violet wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly, her big belly against his.
"I love you, macho mouse. And I will always be here for you", she whispered in his ear, her voice low. She felt how his body immediately reacted. She slowly looked at him, biting her lower lip. A growl escaped his mouth and he claimed her lips. Suddenly he stopped, breathing heavily.
"Is this okay? You know, with the baby? I don't want to hurt…" but Violet lay a finger on his lips to stop him.
"It's okay. Show me what you got, macho mouse."
And he did. They made love, in the water. It was peaceful. Finally together again.
Violet marched, as far as that was possible with her big belly, straight to Throttle. He was sitting at the porge from his house with Carbine and Modo. They all looked up when they saw Violet approaching.
"Violet ma'am. Is Vinnie okay?", Modo asked quickly when he saw the look on her face. She shook her head.
"No, he is not."
She turned to Throttle.
"He is not okay, Throttle. I can see it in his eyes. But he refuse to talk to me about it. And I want to know why. Is there something I need to know?", she asked sharply. Throttle sighed.
"I don't…" but Violet, who felt grumpy like a old lady, stopped him.
"Don't you dare to say that you don't know. You were there. You were there when he was young and you know. So, tell me."
Throttle stared at her. She was on fire, alright. But she was always very protective and caring about Vinnie. And when his health, or mental health, was on the line, all the bets were off. And being pregnant, with all the hormones, didn't help either.
Carbine intervened.
"Violet, calm down and sit", she said, pointing at a empty chair. Violet looked at her with fuming eyes, but Carbine looked back with an authority on her face that even Violet decided to obey. Violet grumbled something and sat down.
"Where is Vinnie?", Carbine asked.
"Sleeping. We walked a bit, took a swim and he was exhausted. So, I ordered him to go to sleep and that he will see you guys tomorrow. That took some convincing, because he really wants to see you guys. But I needed to protect him. So…"
Modo nodded. Throttle still didn't say a word. Carbine looked at her husband. A thoughtful frown was seen on his face. There was indeed something that he was hiding from her and the rest. Something about Vinnie. Off course. It was always about Vinnie.
"Throttle? Is there something you want to share with us?", Carbine demanded. Throttle stared at the floor. Carbine couldn't believe this. Why wasn't he saying anything?
"Throttle? Helloooo?", she asked, waving her hand before his face. Throttle grabbed her hand and pulled it down.
"Stop it", he said annoyed. He looked at Violet.
"It is not my story to tell."
Violet exploded.
"It never is! But I want to be there for him and I can't if he is not telling me what is wrong! God dammit, he can be so frustrating sometimes. Before the accident, he told me everything. At least, I thought he told me everything. Apparently, he still has secrets! God, when is this gonna end? And then there is you, always protecting him. But somehow, you refuse to understand that sometimes you need to involve me in this shit. Make a team. We are on the same side, dammit! We both care about him. We all do. We all want the best for him…", Violet screamed, tears in her eyes.
"Violet, calm down. Think about your baby…", Carbine said, but Violet didn't listen.
"NO! Let me tell you something, I don't even want this kid if the father apparently still has secrets for me! I don't want to be in a relationship, where apparently isn't enough trust…"
Everybody looked at her in shock.
"Jezus, Violet. I can't believe you are saying this!", Carbine breathed. Throttle was loss at words. It was Modo who walked over to Violet and lay both hands on her shoulders.
"Easy, Violet ma'am. We all know that you and Vinnie belong together. And we all know that you want to be in a relationship with him…"
"Well, you are wrong. How many chances do I need to give him? He betrayed me so many times. And I finally thought things were okay. That we finally were being honest to each other. Well, let me rephrase that. That HE was finally being honest with me. But again, he is holding something back."
Modo nodded.
"I know, Violet, I know. There is no excuse. But he loves you. I know he does."
Violet stared at him. She suddenly felt tired. Tired of fighting. She looked at Throttle with pleading eyes.
"Please, Throttle. Tell me. I need to know…"
Throttle was in fight with himself. He had no clue what to do. And that was new. Because he always knew a solution. But Violet had pushed him in a corner. And he didn't liked that at all.
"You are forcing me to tell you a story that is not mine to tell. He told me this in confidence. I betrayed him once, you know. When he told me about his mother. He begged me not to tell and I even promised him, without blinking, that his secret was safe with me. But then I did tell my parents about it and things got even worse. He hated me for it. Yeah, I know, I did it to help him. But it was wrong. You are forcing me to betray my best friend, my little brother. You can't ask that from me, Violet. It's wrong." His normally calm and husky voice was now sharp and angry. But Violet didn't burdge.
"You need to tell me."
Carbine intervened again.
"Cut it out, both of you. Violet, you are upset. And I understand. Vinnie is not an easy mouse to live with. But you knew that. You knew that when you said yes to him on your wedding. Give him time."
Violet couldn't believe her ears.
"Really? I'm having a baby with him. I love him. With all my heart. And I gave him all the time I have. And I know he is not easy and I know he is damaged. But this is getting ridiculous. I'm done. Done with everything."
And she stood up and walked away. Everybody stared at her till she was out of sight. Carbine looked at Throttle.
"Is it that bad?", she asked. She knew her husband. He would have told Violet the truth if it wasn't gonna damage Vinnie. But apparently, this was about crossing a line and Vinnie needed protection. Throttle nodded.
"Yeah, it is…"
Modo looked at him.
"What did he do?"
Throttle's head jerked up.
"Really? You are gonna ask me the same thing? I already told you…" but Modo held up his hand.
"I know, Throttle. We are not gonna tell him that we know. But you need to talk about this. You can't carry this bourdon on your own. Let us help you. Without Vinnie's knowing about it."
Carbine nodded.
"He is right, Throttle. Let us help you."
Throttle sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"He eh… How am I gonna tell this… You are gonna judge him. And you should, I guess. But I was there. I was there and saw how lost he was. How he completely lost his way. Jezus, I still see that look in his eyes when I found him at his parents house, the night they died. He was... It is not his fault."
"Just spill it, Throttle. We can decide for ourselves how to react", Carbine pushed him. Throttle shrugged.
"Okay, fine. Don't say I didn't try to warn you." He took a deep breath and looked at Modo and Carbine.
"Vinnie raped a girl when he was sixteen."
Modo and Carbine looked at each other, their eyes wide open. Say what?
"Yeah. So, now you know why I didn't tell her. It is so not my place to tell her." Throttle leaned in his chair, looking at Modo and Carbine.
"He did what?", Modo asked, his eye glowing red. Throttle sighed agitated.
"You heard me. Calm down, big fella. It was ten years ago."
Carbine shook her head.
"Yeah, so? That doesn't make it right, now does it?", she asked with disbelief.
"No, off course not. I'm only trying to say; he is not that kinda guy anymore."
"And how do you know for sure? After everything that happened?"
Carbine couldn't believe this. She knew how important Vinnie was for Throttle. And she knew Vinnie had two sides and they all loved his happy and charming personality. But the last few months on Earth, she had seen how dark his other side was. He did things she would never forget. And everytime she thought it couldn't get any worse, it somehow did. It always got worse. And Throttle always defended him. Protected him. She was getting tired of it. Vinnie had some serious issues. He carried a lot of problems with him, a troubled mind. And he kept hurting the people around him. How many times do they have to forgive him? When was this gonna stop?
Modo was also deep in thoughts. He couldn't believe his oversized ears. Vinnie raped a girl. What the...? That is wrong on so many levels. He loved Vinnie like a brother, and he was important for him. But this… Was he able to forgive his younger bro? He didn't knew. Throttle said it was ten years ago, but still… He had seen on Earth how the white furred mouse lost control. What if that was gonna happen again? With his kid living here? Modo shook his head. Come on. It's Vinnie. He would never hurt his own child, or his. But still…
"I just know, alright? I believe in him. I hope you guys are not gonna let him down because of this. He needs us", Throttle said tiredly.
"It is always about Vinnie. That we need to spare him. That we need to forgive him. You are always defending him, always protecting him. Throttle, when are you gonna see that some people just never change? When are you gonna see that Vinnie is dangerous? With his mood swings, his anger issues, his need for adrenaline… When are you gonna stop protecting him?", Carbine yelled, jumping on her feet. She was so mad. No, she was furious. She loved Throttle with all her heart, but this was going too far. He needed to wake up.
Throttle also jumped on his feet. Him being mad was a rare thing. But when it was about Vinnie, all bets were off.
"I will never stop protecting him. He is my younger bro. You weren't there, okay? I don't ask you to understand, I just ask you to trust me and to support me in this. I promised my mom…" but Carbine interrupted him.
"Your mother is DEAD, Throttle. Tragic, but true. So, I don't think she is gonna notice it if you are gonna break your promise, right? You need to wake up."
Throttle stared at Carbine like she had slapped him in the face. His face twisted in anger and pain. He whirled around and walked away. Shit. Carbine wanted to follow him.
"Throttle, I'm sorry, I…" but he ignored her and disappeared into the bushes. Carbine just stood there, tears in her eyes. How could she say that to him? Wauw, that was… harsh. Modo lay a hand on her shoulder.
"Give him some time."
"What do you think about this, Modo? Honestly, tell me… Because I'm at loss here…", she whispered. Modo sighed.
"I don't know what to think. But… You know, Throttle is right. We weren't there. And I must say; I care about Vinnie. A lot. He is my bro. And he has proven many times he is there for us. He is loyal to us. He needs us. And we need him. Yeah, I'm shocked by this news. But I don't think he will do that ever again. Otherwise it would have happened already. Are we really gonna judge him by something that happened ten years ago? We all did things we aren't proud of. But the past is the past."
Carbine processed all this. He was right. Dammit. But… No. No but. She had to admit, she sometimes felt somehow jealous, about the way Throttle backed Vinnie up. Always. But she knew he would do the same for her. He already did the same for her. He was always there for her. Even when she slowly turned into a robot, a stressed General who was putting work above everything. And he stayed by her side. She needed to accept that if she wanted to be with Throttle, Vinnie was always gonna be there. Maybe she needed to talk to the white furred mouse. But she realized she couldn't. Because officially, she didn't knew this. Great. Just great. What a mess.
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