Hospitals freaked Dean out. It was something about the smell, or maybe the pastel colored walls, or the overly sterile looking floors. More likely, it was the people. The nurses and doctors were nice enough, sure, but all too often there would be the tear streaked face of a child, grandmother, sister, or brother sitting on the bench in the hall. He would avert his eyes, feeling unequipped to make eye contact, or offer comfort. It was awkward, and his eyes would trace the wall instead, while he hurried along, trying to avoid such a personal moment for the other person. It felt intrusive. They weren't everywhere, but he couldn't help but fear each turn of the hallway, hoping the next stretch wouldn't have such an obstacle.
Mostly, Dean stuck to either the waiting room or Cas's room. It had been a few hours since the kid had collapsed on the sidewalk, covered in little bruises, and splattered with blood from the elbow down on his left hand. It wasn't his own, so that had been sort of a relief, but it was someone else's, and that raised questions. Especially with Cas's past. The blood on his hand was both literal and metaphorical. The nurses were really cool with Dean being there, which was odd, since they weren't related, and Dean hadn't outright said they were boyfriends or anything. He may have implied it, if only to be allowed to stick around. In any case, the night shift of nurses was practically cooing over them, especially once they'd caught him holding Cas's hand.
About an hour after being brought in and checked over, Cas had briefly woken up, but the drugs they had given him had knocked him out again pretty quick. It had been the strangest thing. For the ten minutes he was conscious, he said maybe one word, mumbled under his breath, and didn't move, save shifting his head to stare at Dean. That was real uncomfortable, having the guy stare at him like an insect or God or something. He tried talking, assuring him he was safe, and asking why he had passed out, but he was clearly not responsive. It really freaked Dean out, so he turned to go get the nurse to find out what was wrong with him, but then he heard a soft sigh, and Cas let out a murmured, "Dean" that was almost reverent. His eyes were slightly glassy, and he looked… happy? Content. Dean figured it must be the drugs. He sat on the edge of the bed with a huff. He felt so relieved, that he laid right back against the wall, and swung his legs into the bed.
Sure it was a small bed, but Cas was a small guy, and curled on his side. Plus, Dean was pretty fit himself. It was a squeeze in the small bed, but he fit. It should have been awkward, but Cas was too drugged to care, and Dean was too tired. It was maybe four a.m. at this point, and Dean was about to collapse anyway. Better in the bed with a guy he'd known for just a week than on the floor.
Suddenly Cas was an octopus, latching onto him on all sides. Cas wrapped his limbs around a surprised Dean too fast for Dean to protest, and promptly fell unconscious. Dean felt slightly uncomfortable, and his pulse raced a bit initially, but when he tried to move Cas's legs off him, and his arms, he found that even in his sleep Cas was way stronger than he looked. He shivered and sucked it up. Besides, it's not like it was actually cuddling. No, it was just the drugs. Dean pointedly ignored the giggles and whispers from the nurses. He also tried valiantly to ignore how nice it felt. It had been a long time since anyone had hugged him, let alone glued themselves to him like he was a space heater in the arctic. Finally he just gave in, and relaxed into it. He quickly fell asleep.
About four hours later, around eight a.m. someone flicked his ear. Multiple times. Dean twitched in his sleep, but didn't wake up. Four hours was far from enough after being awake for nearly a straight twenty four the day before. But the person was persistent, and began flicking his forehead, and eventually pinched his cheek hard enough for him to jolt awake.
"Ow! What the fuck?" He sat up, but luckily Cas stayed asleep, his arms falling loosely off Dean. He mumbled in his sleep and curled into a fetal position. Dean rubbed his cheek, now very scratchy with his stubble, and inspected the person who had woken him so rudely. It was a short, blond, pointy faced, beady eyed, middle aged, smirking bastard.
"Who're you?" He grumbled.
"Gabriel. Cassy's brother. You are?" Maybe the staring thing was genetic or something. However instead of Castiel's curious gaze, this one felt more like an inspection. Like he was being evaluated.
"Dean. Uh, I found him collapsed in the street last night." Dean tried to explain without being presumptuous of his and Cas's relationship, but it was hard.
"And do you usually cuddle with complete strangers in hospitals?" And that was why it was so difficult. Dean blushed and tried to hide it because he never blushed.
"Ah, well, no. We go to school together, too. And, um, I think we've dated."
"You think? Not sure about it then? Interesting." Gabriel was totally laughing at him from behind the lollipop in his mouth. But, he backed off and sat in a chair. Dean awkwardly shifted out of the bed. Cas made a very unhappy whine, and Dean totally did not blush again. Dean put his shoes back on and sat in the other chair. For a minute there was an awkward silence. Then the door opened and a tall, slim redhead came in, shutting the door softly behind her. She tilted her head curiously at Dean, so much reminding him of Cas that he knew they had to be related. She sat next to him and offered her hand.
"I'm Anna, Castiel's sister. You are?" She whispered to avoid waking Cas, and was much more likeable than Gabriel.
"He's Dean, and he thinks he might be dating Cas, but he's not sure, and he slept in his bed last night, and they were snuggling, and they go to school together, and he brought Cas here after he collapsed."
Dean leveled a look at Gabe.
"Thank you Gabriel. I think he can introduce himself though." Anna gave Gabriel a look that would peel paint.
"Anyway, sorry about Gabriel. So… are you dating Cas?" Anna looked so hopeful it broke his heart. If he said no, he'd be lying, because they had technically been on a date, and that weird bookshop thing, and it was his orders to date Cas, but if he said yes, he'd be lying, because it was his orders to date him. And therefore, it was illegitimate. Although, if Dean was completely honest with himself, and in an alternate universe where they had met and he really had been just a grad student at a club and really Missouri's TA, he would have totally dated Cas.
Cas… was perfect. He was smart, adorable, hot, and he liked Dean back. Dean was reaching a new level of self hatred for pulling this lying game to Cas. He could see it so clearly, going to the movies with Cas, explaining the references he didn't understand, getting spaghetti and pie and then walking home together holding hands and just being in his presence was like a drug that made Dean feel light hearted and happy, and it didn't matter what they did, they could sit around in pajamas and read books or just sleep or anything. He would listen while Cas explained medieval religious practices or ranted about the terrible music he had to play, he would put on some slow jazz and just relax listening to his enthusiasm, soak up all his energy and passion. He would do anything. He just wanted to date Cas. He wanted it more than anything.
But he couldn't have it. He couldn't tell him about Sammy in too much detail, he couldn't tell him what it was like growing up in Kansas, or losing his mom, or struggling with his dad, or being taught to doctor cars by Bobby, or challenging Jo to drinking contests that ended with Ellen cutting them off and dancing on the tabled clumsily. He couldn't tell him about his past, his family. But he wanted to. So badly. And now that he'd lied, about his name, his occupation, everything, he would never get to.
It was ridiculous, to mourn something that never was, to grieve the loss of a possibility. But here he was. In a hospital, meeting Cas's family, cuddling with him, telling them he'd dating Cas, lying some more. It makes him feel sick. But on the other hand, he reasoned, it's not like Cas was completely innocent either. In all his fantasies, somehow neither he nor Cas are who they really are. In his mind, Cas is an innocent, normal teenager, and so is Dean. But it isn't reality, and not the truth. Dean decided it was too painful to think about anymore, and he shelved his fantasies far back in the recesses of his mind.
"Yeah… I guess we are." Is what comes out, in answer to Anna's question. He zones out for a minute, locked onto Cas's foot sticking out from under the blanket. Goddamnit he even has cute feet. Gabriel clears his throat, and Dean snaps out of it.
"So… uh, does he know what you are?" That gets Dean's attention real quick.
"Excuse me?" The panic starts to build. How could Gabriel know? No, no, he has to keep his cool. His cover isn't completely blown, no matter how Gabe knows. But if he does… Deans mind whirls, a mile a minute.
"I'm sorry but you're an Aquarius and he's a Leo, and that is just not gonna fly." Dean exhales shakily. He needs to calm the fuck down, and get out of here. Time to blow this popsicle stand, he thinks.
"Look, I don't believe in that crap, okay? Doesn't really matter. Um, well, I've gotta get to class, so, lemme know when he wakes up. Have him text me or something, and I'll come visit. Thanks." He stands and extends a hand to Anna, "It was nice meeting you." And so he leaves, shooting one last look over to the tuft of ruffled black hair in the bed, and making his way to the Impala, and then back onto campus. He figures they can discuss the packet of pills he found in Cas's pocket later, when he's awake and alone.
He may have lied about the class. It's Saturday, so he has no classes, but he does have to meet with a certain Ruby Cortese.
As cliche as it is, it seems to fit her shifty personality to meet under a bridge out on the outskirts of the city. The area is dead deserted, the only sound from the cars rushing over the highway above them. Ruby has two goons with her. Double checking his two guns and hidden knife, he puts on his sunglasses and grabs the envelope of money.
Jo was supposed to be making this meeting, but apparently had something more important to deal with, so here he was, showing his hand a bit earlier than he would have liked. He parked the Impala about twenty feet away, so his approach was very obvious. He felt so exposed being alone. He really should not be doing this alone, but there they were.
"Ruby. Meatheads." He nodded at each in greeting, seeing them bristle under the insult. He smirked.
"Money?" Ruby asked. Straight to business then. He held it up, and held out a hand.
"Even trade." He says, waggling his fingers at her. She reaches into her jacket and produces a green bag, not see-through at all, and big enough to be considered a small purse. She zips it open, and tilts it so he can see the inside as she offers it to him. Simultaneously, they trade. She inspects the money, he inspects the goods, and then both satisfied, he attempts small talk.
"So, I'm lookin' to make a larger purchase, sometime in the next few months. I'm havin' a pretty big party, need to keep my friends supplied for it, ya see? I was hopin' to get it right from the source. Think you could arrange it for me? I'd be very grateful." He finishes with a wink, hoping to lay on the southern charm as thick as he can. Better to be thought of as a harmless hick than anything else. Ruby doesn't say anything, just watches him suspiciously. He begins to shift uncomfortably, because that's what any dealer/junkie would do under the scrutiny. Finally, he just says,
"Look, I'll just give you my card, and you can pass it on, or give me a call, kay?" He fishes out a crumpled, not quite white business card and passes it to the closest goon. Ruby just leans against her bar, watching. It's fucking creepy, but he knows this game. It's a scare tactic. To show it hasn't worked, he smiles, thanks them, wishes them a nice, productive day, and heads back to his car. He realizes he might just come off as incredibly stupid, turning his back on them, acting trusting and friendly, but he really has no better play right now.
After turning in the drugs at the church, and having the tape recording device removed, he files a shit ton of paperwork and calls it a day. By now its two p.m. He checks his phone, but there's no word from Cas. Dean collects his backpack with a sigh. He has a few hours before he has to go see Sammy, so homework it is. He figures he might as well head to the library.
At the library, Dean decides he needs peace and quiet. He heads up to the top floor, where there are three quiet study rooms. He heads immediately to his favorite, a bookshelf lined room at the end of the hall, one nearly no one else uses. Granted, he never comes during the day. It's always been at night. Of course, as he rounds the corner and heads to 'his spot' in the back corner, he finds it occupied. By none other than Castiel Novak himself. Snuggler extraordinaire, and occasional octopus. Dean gapes for a moment, because wasn't he supposed to be in the hospital? But here he is, unbrushed hair and all. Dean just sits down across from him and pops out one of his earbuds.
"Dean? What are you doing here?" Cas looks so adorable when he's confused.
"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? You were in the hospital all morning. When'd they release ya? I told Gabe and Anna to have you call me when you woke up. I thought you were still asleep." Thinking about sleeping reminded Dean of his four hours in a tiny hospital bed. He must look like hell, and he decides he feels even worse.
"Oh, ah, I was released just before lunch. I woke up around ten, I think. Gabe did not mention you were there…" He squints suspiciously, trying to remember. Dean just blushed and looks down, wondering how on earth to explain last night. Suddenly, Castiel's arm shoots out and latches onto his wrist. Dean looks up, and Cas's eyes are as wide as saucers.
"I… remember." Cas croaks, blushing like a tomato. He releases Dean's wrist and tucks his arms under the table again.
"That- this. I am embarrassed. I apologize for my behavior. I thought I was dreaming, and…" He trails off unable to explain. The table and textbook suddenly are a lot more interesting than before. Dean finds it quite adorable.
"Hey it's alright. I'm just happy you're okay. You're brother's a dick though. Sorry." Dean shrugged off the awkwardness.
"Anna was nice though. What about the rest of your family? Any other siblings?" To Dean, the curiosity in his voice is so obviously fake. Cas just looked down at the table again, though.
"Not really." He said in a voice that made it clear this topic was not up for discussion. Dean pulled out his textbook, and knew he should really be probing Cas for information, like whose blood he was covered in yesterday, or how his brother Satan was doing, but he just coudn't bring himself to do it. Cas just looked too out of it. Besides, if Dean was honest with himself, which he never was, he would realize he didn't want to ask about Lucifer, or Michael, or Raphael, or Uriel, or Hester, or any of his other siblings because he didn't want to shatter the illusion of normalcy. He was afraid of Cas finding out the truth. So, back to analyzing modern religion-themed literature he went. Late into the night he wondered what had happened to Cas, and whose blood was on his hands, but eventually he had to forget about it and fall asleep. Besides, everyone has a few secrets. Especially Dean. The guy deserves a few of his own.
