Disclaimer: Still not owning.
6 – The Lovers
Light was utterly mortified.
'I can't believe I did that! What was I thinking? I made my choice. We're friends, that's what I decided. Only friends, just friends, nothing else.'
Light's emotions were in a jumbled mess, in tune with his frantically beating heart.
'Now, he knows. He knows! I can't take it back. I must look like a fool. I am a fool!'
It was just past midnight. The bedroom was softly illuminated by lamp light.
Light lay under the covers, feigning sleep. Ryuzaki sat on his own bed, playing solitaire on his laptop. He looked completely at ease, as if nothing untoward had happened. Suddenly, it was unbearable. How could he be so unaffected while Light laid here, thoughts racing a mile a minute?
He needed to get away, to get some distance. If Light had that, maybe he could put his mind and emotions back in order. It would have been preferable to entirely leave the company of the detective. Since that was not possible, he did the next best thing.
Taking care to appear nonchalant, he rose and made his way to the bathroom. If the uninterrupted clicking of the mouse was anything to judge by, Ryuzaki did not even spare him a glance. He paid no attention to Light. This produced a dissonance within. The combination of relief, sadness, guilt, and resentment was very close to excruciating.
When the bathroom door closed, he expelled the breath he had been holding. It was grimly amusing that this was the only sanctuary he had. He needed to process all that had occurred but there were interfering factors. First, he forced his emotions aside. They were what had led to this impasse. Next, he turned his attention to how he physically felt. Light conceded that some of the culpability lay there too. There was a different solution for that problem, though.
The amount of stress in his body was incredible. It was bordering on painful. The enticement of a hot shower, followed by a soak in the bath, was too inviting to pass up. As well, with the covering noise of the running water, he would be able to release the worst of his physical tension. That was the most pressing matter at the moment. How it had come to this could wait until later.
When he stood naked, with warm water coursing over his body, Light mechanically reached between his legs. He was not normally inclined towards this sort of self-gratification but, being a young man, sometimes the needs of the body took priority. In the past when he had been aroused it was a necessary, although enjoyable, task to assuage it.
This time was different.
From the moment he touched himself, the form of Ryuzaki filled his mind. It was only an hour ago that he had tasted him. The sensory memory of the detective's lips caused the heat in his stomach to grow. Light's hand moved faster as he recalled the feeling of soft, pale skin and hard muscle. He explored Ryuzaki's chest again in his imagination. However, unlike reality, this time Light went further. With these images he had the most intense climax of his life.
It was after, while relaxing in the steamy hot bath, that the chagrin returned. It was doubtful he would find any sleep tonight. That, coupled with a fervent need to avoid Ryuzaki, made this a timely opportunity to gather his thoughts. He had to make sense of everything that had happened in the last few hours. Just the memory of holding the detective in his arms made him cringe. What had driven him to act so impulsively? Perhaps it was best to start from the point when everything had begun to change.
It was only a week ago that he came to a decision about Ryuzaki. In that one afternoon, on the roof, he made some disconcerting discoveries about himself. However, after thinking it through, Light had decided he was unwilling to act upon his desire for him. The reasons he identified were sensible and rational. Light had been comfortable with the conclusion he came to. He had been. He was sure of it. Even now those reasons seemed relevant.
It wasn't that Light thought he could turn off his feelings. They were there and, unfortunately, were not responsive to the logic of his common sense and brain. However, he had believed acknowledgement of them would be sufficient. He did not have to do anything with them. At that time, he would have been unable to predict that passion could override the tenet of his conviction; and self-control. Now, it was clear that he had been deluding himself. With a heavy sigh, Light recalled something he had previously figured out. It was when he confronted Ryuzaki about the confinement.
'Suppressing feelings doesn't make them go away. If anything, it distorts and intensifies them.'
So, his resolve to create a friendship with Ryuzaki had been defeated by his…his what? His desire? His romantic attachment? Longing?
Light didn't know what to call it. Only that it was there. And it made him do stupid things. Because of it, he took actions that made him vulnerable. Actions that were irreversible. It would be unsurprising if Ryuzaki wanted nothing to do with him now. That…thing inside him had most likely derailed any chance of getting closer to the detective. It had been going so well too, ever since the afternoon on the rooftop.
After the confrontation with Watari, Ryuzaki seemed upset. That had to be why he allowed Light to put his arm around him. When they reached the kitchen, Light made dinner. He also prepared a hot chocolate for Ryuzaki and served him cake. Light was particularly proud of that day's dessert selection. He knew, from experience, that the seven-layer chocolate cake was delicious. It was with anticipation that he watched Ryuzaki take the first bite. The reaction had not been a disappointment.
Ryuzaki's face had lit up with pleasure. A rare smile graced his features when he spoke.
"Light-kun, this cake is wonderful! I have never had anything quite like it."
His animated response had temporarily struck Light speechless. Another aspect of Ryuzaki's personality was revealed to him. It was reminiscent of Christmas ads. The ones which showed the faces of children alight with excitement and jubilation. Ryuzaki had that expression. Light experienced it again, a gentle and simple happiness. It came every time the offered sweets were accepted.
He smiled and spoke in a warm voice.
"That's high praise coming from a connoisseur like yourself! I'll get it again for you sometime."
"Yes. I would enjoy that. Connoisseur?"
Light's smile widened.
"Yes, a sugar connoisseur, or maybe I should say dessert pro?"
The detective affected a distressed expression. It had been slightly ruined by the faint smile playing across his lips.
"You are teasing me," Ryuzaki stated.
"No, no! I was sincerely complimenting you."
Ryuzaki smirked, and asked:
"What do you like to eat?"
Light replied nonchalantly.
"Me? I don't know. Anything, I guess."
"You have no indulgences?"
"Not really."
"That is terribly sad," Ryuzaki observed wistfully.
Now both men wore smiles. The detective leaned forward.
"There must be something, surely?"
"You're not going to be satisfied until I tell you my weakness, are you?"
"That is correct. You know mine so a balance must be established," Ryuzaki confirmed.
"A balance of the powers, is it? Well, if you must know, I have a fondness for potato chips," Light admitted.
"Yet I have never seen you eat them."
Light raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe you did and it slipped your mind?"
"Or perhaps you were so voracious about chips that I became disturbed," Ryuzaki pronounced with exaggerated seriousness.
"Are you saying you blocked it from your memories? I had no idea you were so sensitive!" Light said with mocking sympathy.
Were they flirting? Were they really flirting?
No.
Light commanded himself to calm down. This was banter between two friends. Ryuzaki was talking to him and, unexpectedly, displaying a playful side. They were both enjoying the conversation. Even so, he could hardly believe they were joking about the surveillance. Ryuzaki had perpetuated that on him. Light had only found out about it afterward. At the time, he had been deeply affronted even while understanding the reasoning behind it. The idea that he could tease and be teased about it truly surprised him.
Ryuzaki continued.
"I am as susceptible to trauma as the next person," he said solemnly.
"I think you're the one who's teasing now!"
"There is a 99.9 percent chance that you are correct."
"And what is the .1 percent composed of?" Light asked interestedly.
"I would answer that but I must drink my hot chocolate."
"An evasion, Ryuzaki? Or is it a feint?"
"Thank you for making it."
"A tactical withdrawal. You're welcome."
Light couldn't hide his grin as he returned to his half-finished meal.
It occurred to him that this exchange, while stimulating and entertaining, highlighted how little he knew Ryuzaki. How many different sides did he have? Light's genuine interest in him, while new, was gaining momentum. Maybe now would be an opportune time to appease that curiosity.
"So…Ryuzaki?"
The detective had finished eating. He sipped the hot chocolate, resting it on his knees. A quizzical look was directed at Light.
'What is Watari to you? Why did he speak to you like a parent? Where are your parents? Do you have brothers and sisters? Where did you grow up? Where do you usually live? Were you upset because of Watari? Or was it something else?'
Those were just some of the questions that Light would have liked to ask. Each one was rapidly examined and discarded. It wasn't worth ruining the mood if Ryuzaki reacted secretively or defensively.
'Do you still think I'm Kira?'
No, definitely not.
It was strange how that worked. It was often the most important things that were left unsaid, unasked. That was how it had always been for Light. It didn't matter, though. The answer to that question was apparent for all to see. His eyes fastened on the chain.
"Light-kun?"
Wasn't there something innocuous he could ask? Something he wanted to know? Anything to focus on besides the return of the pain in his chest?
A question the enigmatic man across from him would answer.
"How old…are you older than me?"
"Why does Light-kun wish to know?"
There it was.
Light had a theory about the way Ryuzaki addressed him. He would use the third person when he was uncomfortable, or maybe it was when he was uncertain. Despite that, Light pushed ahead. He wanted to regain the sense of camaraderie of only minutes ago. With an urgency that mystified him, he needed to.
"Well, we're friends, right? And I don't know even know the most basic things about you," Light said genially.
Ryuzaki stared at him, mutely. His gaze alternated between meeting Light's and looking down, at some point below eye-level.
Light continued amiably.
"I was interested but it's really not important. Normally I could tell, but you have a youthful appearance."
Ryuzaki tilted his head to the side, and looked at him with curiosity.
"Light-kun is deploying charm in order to gather information?"
"Have you heard the saying; 'you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar'?"
"I am an insect?"
Light grinned.
"That's your interpretation, not mine. I can go along with it, if you want," he offered.
He noticed the subtle signs of relaxation in the detective. Ryuzaki's hands, which had begun to tightly clench his knees, were now lightly resting on them. Most obviously, he was making eye contact and a bit of humor had returned to his visage.
"In order to prevent any more transparent attempts to manipulate me, I will answer your question. Yes."
"There, was that so hard?"
"Yes."
Light chuckled as he stood and started gathering the dishes.
"What are the odds of you telling me your exact age?" he wondered.
"In response, I will employ a saying too."
Light paused to take in his mirthful countenance.
"There is a 'snowball's chance in hell' that I will answer that question."
Light would have been stung by Ryuzaki's refusal to answer if he had not been laughing so hard.
In the days following that pleasant encounter, Light's affection had continued to grow. There had been little further conversation between them, but that was not an issue. After all, he was extremely busy with the Kira case. Finishing the program had become of paramount importance. The murders continued at an unrelenting pace. Every day that passed increased the pressure the team felt.
On a daily basis, Light would work with Watari. His assistance was invaluable. However, as with any computer program, unforeseen problems arose. It was with a heavy heart that Light informed the others of the delay. He had underestimated the completion date of the project. It would take, at the minimum, two more weeks to finish.
Light would spend a few hours a day in contact with Watari, either by phone or computer. The rest of his time was spent collecting, analyzing, and recording any and all Kira-related information and events. However, even amongst all this toil, there were moments of enjoyment. These mostly occurred when everyone else had left.
Light had decided to make it a point to sit down and have dinner every night. It was important to give his mind and body a rest. It also allowed him to spend uninterrupted time with Ryuzaki. They would exchange few words but, to Light, these meals were rejuvenating.
There was a sense of ease that he had never felt before. The change in their relationship had been quiet. Light wondered if this subtle shift signified true friendship. All he knew was that he felt relaxed in the presence of the detective. If he chose to speak, Ryuzaki would listen. If he chose not to, Ryuzaki would not press him. It was like he had no expectations of Light. Around him, Light did not have to be "the good son", "the prodigious student", or "the accommodating young man". The liberty of discarding those masks was enlightening. All his life he had donned them, never understanding the oppressive weight they inflicted.
He was brought out of his recollections by the sounds of movement. Ryuzaki must have finally gone to bed. The absence of light from under the door supported that. The bath water had become tepid. He would have liked to get out but decided to wait a bit longer. He wanted to be sure the detective was asleep before venturing back into the bedroom. Adding more hot water, Light settled in to wait.
He was calmer now. It was challenging, but necessary, to recount this day's events.
Yesterday's events, he thought dryly.
When had he strayed from his sleeping schedule? Oh, yes. That would be since he had been chained to Ryuzaki. Light had always been a very disciplined person. However, due to Ryuzaki's influence, that self-control was slipping more and more. He wished the only thing affected was his bed time. If only it could have been that simple.
'If it was, I wouldn't be hiding out in a bath tub in the middle of the night.'
He would give it a half hour. Just enough time to analyze all that had occurred in the last nineteen hours.
The day began like any other. Light was already hard at work when the other team members filtered in. He had exchanged pleasantries with his father and thanked him for bringing in another dessert. Later, during a coffee break, he brought the treat to Ryuzaki. He had been reading, with his back towards Light. To catch his attention, he lightly seized his shoulder. When Ryuzaki turned to look up at him, his body had remained relaxed under Light's hand.
In the past week, he had begun to touch the detective more. It was always in a casual and non-invasive way. For example, he would place a hand on his back when they walked together. Until now, every time Light touched him, Ryuzaki had stiffened imperceptibly. He wasn't sure if friends casually reached for each other, but he wanted Ryuzaki to open up to him more. He hypothesized that touching would begin to create a sense of familiarity between them.
That's why he had been pleased this time. When he laid a hand on Ryuzaki's shoulder, there was no rejection. That good mood carried through for the rest of the day. Light worked extra hard to accommodate an earlier dinner break. He was greatly heartened by the progress that had been made with the detective. Eating together was something to look forward to.
Finally, the work day was finished. It was as the team was filing out that two people came in. Light didn't have a chance to say anything before he was lying flat on his back. Misa was a small, light person. Nevertheless, when she worked up a running velocity, she could probably topple just about anyone. Now, she lay on top of him.
"Oh, Light! Misa Misa missed you so much!"
"Misa! That hurt!"
"Oh, no! Misa didn't mean to hurt her Light! It's just that it's been so long. I saved all my hugs for now!"
Light was too busy extricating himself from her to respond. It wasn't easy since she stubbornly clung to him. Once standing, he looked at Matsuda.
"What are you two doing here?"
Misa had attached herself to his arm. Light's irritation must have shown on his face. Matsuda took a step back and awkwardly rubbed the nape of his neck.
"Misa Misa just came from a shoot. Since we finished early, I texted Ryuzaki to see if we could drop by. She's been talking about you non-stop. She really misses you."
"It's true, Light! Misa hasn't had a date with you since we moved here. I know you've been busy but Ryuzaki said it was okay. So, here I am! Let's have dinner, just the two of us!"
Light looked down at her entreating face.
He sighed.
He didn't really understand the affection she displayed for him. It had no basis. After all, they barely knew each other. Still, it wasn't like he hated her.
"All right, Misa. Since you're already here, we can have dinner. But it will be Ryuzaki too."
"What? Misa wants to spend time alone with you!"
She turned towards Ryuzaki.
"Are you still being a pervert? Let Light…"
Light interrupted.
"That's enough, Misa! You wanted to come here and this is how it is. If you want to spend time together then it's going to be all three of us."
Misa had looked crestfallen.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll go make dinner. I brought lots of yummy things to eat."
Once she was gone, there was an awkward silence. Matsuda was looking at him in surprise. Ryuzaki was also examining him. Light had the sense they disapproved of the way he spoke to Misa. This annoyed him. He hadn't asked for her to come here. Ryuzaki and Matsuda had arranged that. And now he was the bad guy? Because he wasn't overjoyed? Because he stopped Misa's rant towards Ryuzaki?
Matsuda had excused himself and left.
When he and Ryuzaki arrived at the kitchen, Misa had been busy preparing enough food for ten people. She chattered to Light as she bustled around. He listened with half an ear, responding only when necessary. Ryuzaki said nothing at all.
There was a selection of dishes to be had. It turned out Misa was a fairly good cook. Unfortunately, several foods were ones that Light disliked. He ate them anyway, not wanting to offend her. As the meal dragged on, Light was becoming more and more uncomfortable. His chest was squeezed so tightly that it felt like a vice was gripping it. He couldn't grasp the reason for it. At least not while simultaneously listening to Misa's barrage of prattle.
It was only after she had left, amid a flurry of hugs and drama, that the answer struck him. It was the knowledge of what she saw in him. Misa perceived Light how she wished to see him. She had no idea what was really there. The proof was in preparing foods he didn't like. How hard was it to ask him what he preferred to eat? It was also in how she barged in tonight. For the past month he had continually made excuses to avoid seeing her. Yet she came anyway, uncaring of his wants and plans.
Misa claimed she loved him. What a ridiculous thing to say. What did she love? Who did she love? She had obviously built up some sort of fantasy regarding Light. Perhaps another man would have been delighted to be the recipient of that blind devotion. She was an attractive and charming woman. He could see that. It was just that being on the receiving end of her…obsession was disturbing. It reminded him of all the other people who did not really see him. His parents, his teachers, and his friends were all like that too. It made him feel empty inside. And sad, angry, confused. All those divergent emotions melded together until it felt like they could crush him.
He turned to look at Ryuzaki. They were back in the operations room. The detective sat quietly, staring into space. He wanted to ask him why he had allowed Misa to visit. He knew Light was avoiding her. After all, he had always been in hearing range when Misa called. Light's evasive maneuvers should have been obvious to Ryuzaki. He should have known what they meant.
Light turned away, staring blankly at his computer screen.
That was the crux of it, wasn't it? Of all the people Light had ever known, the detective was the one who saw him. He really, genuinely saw the person beneath the facades he presented to everyone else. Or so Light thought. Had he made a big mistake?
The hard smile that curved Light's mouth had nothing to do with humor.
Could it be that he was just like Misa? Perhaps he had built up a fantasy in his head about Ryuzaki. What if he had been giving the detective attributes and qualities that had nothing to do with who he really was? If that was true, Light would feel pathetic. It would make him a person so desperate for companionship that he would lie to himself. It would also obliterate any and all hopes he had begun to tentatively hold.
To find someone who truly intrigued him had never seemed likely. Then he met Ryuzaki. The closeness Light felt towards him was still fragile. Nonetheless, it had been the spark for a profound discovery. Light, who was indifferent to everyone, had harbored a wish to connect with another person. It seemed possible with Ryuzaki. And because of that, he experienced a previously unknown feeling. It had been hope. And now it was like it was being taken away.
Light couldn't stand it. It was intolerable.
It was getting late. There was no point in trying to work any longer. He hadn't touched his keyboard since he sat down.
"I'm tired," Light said shortly.
He stood and walked towards the elevator. Ryuzaki followed. The ride down had been tense and silent.
They were almost to the bedroom when Light had suddenly rounded on the detective.
"Ryuzaki, I want to ask you something."
Light had stepped towards him. Ryuzaki had retreated. Seeing this was going nowhere, Light curved his arm around him; backing him into the wall. He used his other arm to box him in.
"You heard me making excuses not to see Misa?"
Ryuzaki did not meet his gaze.
"Fine. Don't answer me. I already know that you did. So, why did you say she could come here tonight?"
The detective was slouched over, as usual. Light moved closer, causing him to straighten up. Their faces were now inches apart. A random, out of place thought struck Light.
'We're the same height, more or less.'
Giving himself an internal shake, he continued speaking.
"I don't hate her. I just don't like her romantically. That's why I don't see her unless I have to. You allowed her to come here. And you did it behind my back. Why did you do that?"
Light's hands balled into fists at his continued silence.
"Answer me, Ryuzaki. We can stay here all night until you do."
The detective spoke softly.
"Misa Misa wanted to see Light-kun."
"Don't adopt that, it sounds stupid. It's Misa or Amane. You've now stated the obvious while not answering my question at all."
Ryuzaki's eyes narrowed. The faint clenching of his jaw indicated the beginnings of anger.
"Light-kun and Misa Misa had been dating. Why would he not wish to spend time with her?"
"Are you serious?"
All the rage in Light suddenly deflated.
"Yes."
Light just stared at him. Ryuzaki kept speaking.
"Misa Misa is devoted to Light-kun. A person who adores him is Light-kun's type."
A terribly dark feeling was manifesting in Light. His breath was heavy as he sought to draw air through his constricted chest. A single thought repeated itself over and over in his stricken mind.
'I can't stand this.'
He dropped his hands onto Ryuzaki's shoulders.
"My type? You know my type?"
Ryuzaki's eyes darted between Light's hands. He looked apprehensive. Light knew he should walk away.
'I just can't stand this.'
"Release me, Light-k…"
He was cut off when Light moved forward, pressing their lips together. His hand gripped the back of Ryuzaki's neck. His other arm encircled his waist, drawing him closer.
The detective's mouth had been open and Light wasted no time. His tongue delved in, exploring and tasting. His hand moved from Ryuzaki's neck to run through his hair.
How he had longed to do that.
Light's eyes were open and, even at this range, he could clearly see Ryuzaki's shocked expression. The detective had probably never predicted this would happen. Neither had Light and, in that moment, it didn't matter. Light was intoxicated with the feel and smell of the person before him.
He moved away from his mouth to kiss his neck. It was then that Ryuzaki shuddered. His hands reached up to clasp Light's shoulders. He wasn't pushing him away nor was he drawing him nearer. Light took this as a sign to keep going. The excitement caused him to become rushed, aggressive.
He freed his hands and ran them down Ryuzaki's chest. Light reached under his shirt and eager fingers wandered over smooth skin. He rapidly, almost frantically, explored the length of his back, the curves of his ribs, and the hollow of his stomach. Light discovered that, despite his thinness, he had a fair amount of toned muscle. His pace slowed as he kneaded it. Light's lips and tongue traced a path up his neck. Ryuzaki's hands tightened on his shoulders.
Ryuzaki's breathing was becoming labored. Light felt hot gushes of air trickling over his face. It, along with everything else, aroused him with an intensity he had never experienced before. He covered Ryuzaki's mouth with his own, and swallowed his breath.
All of Light's previous anger and pain had been forgotten. He wanted to consume Ryuzaki. Touching him, kissing him was beyond all his expectations. He wanted more. He wanted everything.
He slipped his knee between his legs and thrust his hips forward, pinning him to the wall. Light pressed their bodies together and kissed him deeply. One hand brushed his nipple and the other slid down his side. Light's fingers had just begun to slip beneath the waist of his loose jeans when Ryuzaki suddenly gasped.
"S-stop!"
With that one word, the spell was broken. Light came back to himself and really looked at him. Ryuzaki's cheeks were flushed. His eyes were huge and the pupils dilated. They stared at one another, both breathing heavily.
Ryuzaki had pushed Light off with surprising strength. He had not said a word, simply turning away and heading for the bedroom. Once there, he released the handcuffs and quickly exited the room. This left Light alone to feel the rising tide of embarrassment and humiliation within. Despite that, his body remained aroused to an uncomfortable degree. It was the first time passion had ever overwhelmed his reason. Light was in a state of shock and disbelief.
The detective had returned shortly afterward. Unable to face him, Light pretended to sleep. And there ended the day's happenings.
Back in the present, Light drained the bath water. The room was dark and quiet as he climbed into bed. He could faintly see Ryuzaki. He lay with his back to Light, appearing to be asleep. For that, he was grateful. He really didn't have it in him to speak to the detective right now.
It was four in the morning. All the tumult of the day finally caught up with Light. His body felt heavy with fatigue. It was too bad his mind was still wide-awake.
He didn't feel he had really resolved anything. He still didn't know what he would say to Ryuzaki, how to explain himself. All that had happened regarding Misa still chafed. However, there was one thing he was sure of now. The realization came through recalling the encounter between them.
When he looked at it simply for what it was, he could not truly regret it. He liked Ryuzaki and he wanted to touch him. So, he had. He acted on something he sincerely wished for. He had been so concerned about whether it was acceptable. Now, he could see that other people weren't the only ones who disregarded his true self. Light was guilty of the same thing.
He turned to look at Ryuzaki. What was it about him that caused this reaction? Light had been through so many highs and lows since he entered his life. Did Light have an impact on him too? It was hard to tell with the detective. He played his cards so very close to his chest. Still, there was one thing that encouraged Light.
When he held Ryuzaki, there had been a response. It was subtle and, yes, he had eventually been pushed away. That may have had more to do with Ryuzaki's self-protective nature than Light. He doubted anything like that had ever happened to him before. No, he was certain about it. Light was the first person who had ever kissed and touched him in that way. It was possible he would never be allowed to do so again. The fact that he had been able to at all, however, made Light happy.
Finding a positive element helped ease the chaotic emotions rampaging within, finally allowing Light to fall into a deep slumber.
Tbc
Author's notes:
6 - The Lovers
a major choice - for example, between the outer path where a person's life is laid out for him and the inner path which can lead to a confrontation with his hidden desires, a major crisis, the first real choice a person makes independently - until sexual desire rouses itself most people are content to act out their parents' expectations of them - however, desire points a person where it wants them to go, reason controls and contains while passion breaks down all limits, a particular relationship has been or will become very important to a person - leading him to a new understanding of life, sharing, a need for healing, a relationship with a trial or choice involved, the subject is put to the test before he can enter the next stage of his development, preoccupation with the progress of an important relationship
The Fool has been shaped by the great forces of nature, society, and parents (the Empress, the Emperor, the Hierophant). In the Lovers, the individual emerges: a true personality with its own ideas and purposes, able to make its own choices based on its own assessment of desires and responsibilities. The Fool is now ready to learn about temptation, decision, attraction, choice, friendship, union with a significant other, sexual adjustment, and romantic relationships.
