Ok so I decided to continue with this story, but I'll also be doing my other stories that I want to do. Please read them once I post it. ^_^

Songs in this chapter:
The Truth by Relient K
Curl Up and Die by Relient K
Fidelity by Regina Spektor
More Than Useless by Relient K
I'm in Love with You by Imogen Heap


The Pain of Recognition

The pain came slow and steady at first. I thought about screaming out multiple times, but it wasn't like I never felt pain before. When James bit me back in Phoenix, I got a taste of this feeling. I screamed out then, but not now. Now I merely bit my tongue, waiting for it to stop. The pain of the past seven months was honestly worse. Not as physical as this pain, more of a mental one. As I laid there waiting for immortality, I debated the worse pain. Falling apart at the seams verses being burned from the inside out. At the moment, burning seemed to be winning, but as it slowly dulled and the memory of holding myself together with only the slightest nudge became the stronger pain. I continued to fight with myself over what Alice and the others said about Edward. If he still loved me, he'd be here. He'd have never left to chase after distractions. If he still loved me, I'd be holding his hand through this pain instead of Carlisle's. Alice was lying. She had to be...

This is so unnerving
I know you've never lied to me before
But the things you're telling me
I can't yet believe
Yet can't ignore

After Carlisle bit me, he stayed by my side, rarely leaving. He apologized for the pain he knew I was feeling. He told me it was okay to scream if I wanted to. When I would remain silent, he'd continue with how everyone had been since Forks. That conversation didn't last long considering everyone was too depressed to really do anything worth talking about. Alice sat with Carlisle on occasion. She'd beg me to come live with them and Edward. I couldn't hear much of that. I could only take so much of one pain at a time. Jasper recognized when I wanted her to stop, he'd take her away after a while.

Clinging to the remnants of perfection
Like most do after they break it
Not knowing which directions the correct one
Do I discard or remake it

Even Tanya came in once. She never said anything; she didn't have to. We both shared a bond. She and I both had unrequited love for Edward. She hated it worse for me because I had returned affections from him that were lost.

Cause if I don't know then I don't know
But I may know someone that knows me more than I
And if I somehow could rest this soul
Maybe control could find its way back to my life

Whoever said 'it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all' should shut up. When Edward first left, I felt selfish. I got an entire summer of sheer happiness. Only, it didn't feel like a summer. Time ceased to exist with the Cullen's. They never rushed anywhere; always taking their time. People these days sped through life, never stopping to see where they were yesterday or how they got there.

I don't mind
But I'm not surprised to find that you do
I'm not surprised to find that you do
I know you do

But with the Cullen's, it was never looking ahead (with the exception of Alice). Maybe that's why I -in all manner of speaking- died when Edward left. I saw a future together. I saw us still happily in love tomorrow, but with Edward, there was no tomorrow; only now and then. He had the rest of eternity to look for tomorrow. At the time, I didn't. I only had a summer. A ticking clock. A winged chariot...waiting for me.

I feel fine
But I know the same does not apply to you
I know the same does not apply to you
So I guess that I'll curl up and die, too.

After I grew with the pain of abandonment, I realized I'd be happier if I stayed away like he warned. "I'm dangerous," he'd say. "I'm no good for you," he'd repeat the same thing over and over. "What if I'm not the hero? What if I'm the bad guy?" He was the bad guy, but not on purpose. he stole my heart, but I gave him permission. He invaded my mind, but I opened the door for him.

Suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft

My soul was the one thing he'd play hero with. The one thing I practically threw at him, and suddenly he's the good guy with morals. If I'd never talked to him, I'd still be Isabella Swan, miserable in Forks.

Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall

Miserable in Forks, such simple and trifle miseries. The rain, my mother, my school grades, my truck. Now look where I was. Surrounded by vampires, contemplating my worse pains.

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better

All because of a boy. That's how it always started though. A boy. Every love story, every romance that didn't make it, was because of a boy. I can't say it's all the boy's fault. In fact, it rarely is. Edward was perfect...it was me that failed. So as the fire abandoned my fingers and toes, I vowed it would not be me that fails next time. I will be strong and perfect.

I hear in my mind all of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
and it breaks my heart

Eventually my heart stopped and I opened my eyes to a new world. Everyone was standing around me, waiting. I stood up and walked over to Carlisle. "Thank you" was the only thing I could say. Alice was bouncing with excitement. I smiled at her happily. Everything was silent, even with my new hearing. Nothing made a sound; no birds or breathing or anything.

Against Jasper's wishes, Alice ran towards me. "Bella!" I hugged her back. "Ow, Bella, that hurts," she laughed.

I stepped quickly away, apology written across my smile. "Sorry."

"Welcome to the family," Eleazar said to me warmly.

Esme was in the very back of the room, away from the family. I pushed through everyone to stand beside her. "Esme?" I spoke softly. She looked up as I hugged her gently. "I love you, Esme. You'll always be that mother to me."

She smiled. "I love you too, dear. It warms my heart to hear you say that."

I only smiled. I couldn't really agree with her on the heart topic. It felt like there wasn't one anymore. Maybe Edward had been right about the no soul...

My first hunting trip. Everyone wanted to go, but we couldn't allgo. I didn't care who went as long as long as we went soon. The thirst was almost unbearable.

"How about rock, paper, scissors?" Emmett suggested.

"Eleven ways?" Rosalie rolled her eys. "You know what, I'll go with her another time." Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Eleazar, and Carmen agreed with her.

"It's down to Tanya and her sisters, Alice and me," Emmett commentated.

"C'mon guys! This is so stupid! She'll be living with you! Can't I have this one trip?" Alice whined.

Tanya and the girl's surrendered.

"Okay! Rock, paper, scissors, Alice. Bring it." Emmett got into a fighting stance, his expression as serious as Jasper's always was. They raised their fists into the air ready to play when Emmett stood erect. "Hold it. You'll cheat. Bella, play for Alice."

Rolling my eyes impatiently, I did as he said. I had a rock, he had paper.

"Haha! Paper beats rock!" Emmett danced around.

"That's not fair! So what, paper magically destroys rock?!" Alice was yelling.

Emmett had his arms crossed with a smug look. "Yes."

Alice grabbed the newspaper from Eleazar and shoved it in Emmett's face. "Why aren't you dying?" she questioned fiercely.

I groaned, grabbing Emmett's arm. "Ugh, let's go." I easily dragged him out of the house. Once we were away from town, I stopped. "So what do I do?" I asked blankly.

Emmett frowned. "You...hunt."

I rolled my eyes. "I know that, but how?"

Emmett shrugged. "I dunno, instincts. Don't think, just do." And with that, he ran.

I sighed. Okay, don't think about it, just do it. I held still, smelling and tasting the air with my new senses. After a few seconds, I smelled something delicious. Not absolute heaven, but close enough.

Let the hunt begin.

I took off full speed towards the smell. In about three seconds, I saw what it was. Mountain Lion. It looked preoccupied with something, so I climbed the tree above it. His scent filled my lungs causing venom to pool in my mouth. The lion was crouched in a hunting position, looking towards the bushes. With a snarl, I jumped, landing on top of it. At that same moment, another creature jumped towards the lion. It grabbed onto the limp animal in my arms, too. I growled at the same time it did, almost mimicking my movements perfectly. Then I realized, not it....he.

"So," I said after a moment, finally meeting his now-anxious gaze. "What's your favorite?"
He raised an eyebrow and the corners of his mouth turned down in disapproval. "Mountain Lion."

I gasped, dropping the lion; so did he.

"Bella?" he gasped.

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

I backed away, unable to find my voice. Before he could say anything more, I ran. I wasn't ready for this yet. I wasn't ready to face him.

"Bella!"

I didn't stop running. My new strength allowed me to outrun him. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and ran smack into Emmett.

"Damn girl! Don't tell me you're afraid of the animal!" He started laughing loudly.

"Not the animal...," his voice came from the thick trees. "...me."

"Edward!" Emmett welcomed.

I almost started running again, but his eyes held mine; trapping me. "Bella...." Edward walked towards me.

I half-hid behind Emmett's burly arm. "We weren't expecting you for a couple more days," Emmett tried to ease the awkwardness.

"Yeah, I uh made a side trip to Forks." He never looked away from me, continuing forward slowly.

"We don't live in Forks anymore. You know that," his voice was accusatory at the end.

"Emmett, why don't you go back to Denali," Edward told him.

I grabbed Emmett's arm. "Yeah, let's go. I'll hunt later, Emmett. I suddenly lost my appetite." Edward tried to stop me, but one look from me restrained him.

I not in love with you
I'm not in love with you, baby
I'm not in love with you, yeah

We walked away from his frozen body.

Not any more.
Not any more.
Not any more.
Not any more.

I'm sorry if you think this chapter was short for such a long wait. The next chapter is very good. You'll be excited and possibly shocked. Anyway, leave comments and let me know if it's any good. Much appreciated!