Seven: Losing Control

"I think that they're perfect for each other." – Corbin Bleu

It's at the exact moment when I sneakily and successfully stuff another shirt belonging to Zac in my suitcase that I debate becoming a full-time burglar because, you know, I'm just too damn good at this.

Well, I would. If, you know, there wasn't a law against you breaking into other people's homes and stealing their possessions.

I guess I'm going to have to find another useful talent. A legal one anyhow.

I'm unable to suppress a grin as I zip up my suitcase again and place it on the floor. As I stand up again, I briefly contemplate taking another hat but decide against it upon hearing Zac walking around in the next room, humming along to an unfamiliar tune.

So in all, I've managed to take four more shirts and three hats. But that number will increase by tomorrow morning for sure. I haven't yet mentioned to him that I will be taking the shirt I'm currently wearing…along with the one he's currently wearing – my Oscar-winning line of "…but, Baby, it smells like you. And we're going to be apart for at least three months and I'm going to miss you so much…" – insert Oscar-winning pout and battling of eyelashes here – "…can I not just take this one? Please?" Insert teasing kiss and more pouting here.

Of course, it gets to the point when you land in a foreign country days later and your boyfriend who is thousands of miles away calls you and demands to know where his best shirt is and you try your hardest not to lie as you look down and realise you are indeed wearing his best shirt.

Upside is that you're thousands of miles away so he can't exactly jump into his car and take it back off you.

Downside is that you're thousands of miles away and he can't see your pout, your battling eyelashes and is unable to receive a teasing kiss from across the sea. So you really have to put your mind into a damn good excuse. But then, all that comes back out of it is "…but, Baby, it smells just like you. And I miss you so much…"

I check my watch quickly and sigh… in exactly six hours, I'll be leaving for Austin, Texas. In a week's time, Zac will be leaving for London, England. Then the Isle of Man. Then New York… and then… I start to realise that in the next couple of months, I'm not even going to know where in the world he's going to be. Hell, he won't even know where I'll be – I'll be travelling so much between Texas and home that I'm not sure even I'll know where I'll be at any certain point.

I run my hand over my tired face and sigh. It's ten o'clock and in all truth, I really should be getting ready for bed. My alarm will be ringing in an annoying tone at four AM; frustrating the hell out of me to move away from Zac and get out of bed. What was with early morning flights anyway? Shouldn't they be illegal or something?

"Ness?"

"Yeah?" I call out in response; slowly making my way out of the bedroom.

"Did you pack the entire room?"

I scoff and roll my eyes as I walk into the main room where Zac is sprawled out on the couch, flicking through the television channels. "Almost. I packed your bed. That okay?"

"Eh." He shrugs nonchalantly as I fall beside him, picking at the hem of my – well, his – shirt. "And you've decided to steal my clothes. What happened? Did you 'conveniently' forget to pack your pyjamas again?" He makes air quotations and grins in my direction; knowing that I never pack pyjamas when I'm spending a night at his place. Most of the time there's no need for them… so why waste space?

"What?" I feign innocence, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "I just saw it… and it smelt like you. And I'm leaving in six hours, so-"

"Oh, God." Zac cuts me off and shoots me a knowing glare. "How many have you taken this time?"

Okay, so maybe I'm not in the top five of the Best Burglar category.

And maybe that Oscar-winning line is getting old…

"Hey! I resent that comment!"

"You resent it, do you?" He cocks an eyebrow mockingly in my direction. "It's not okay for me to make a comment you resent but it's perfectly fine for you to steal my clothes?"

"I don't steal them!" I'm officially offended my boyfriend has just implied I'm some sort of… burglar. "I resent that comment too!"

Zac reaches over and pokes me in the side, causing me to squeak involuntarily. "So if you don't steal them, what do you do? Because you don't borrow them. Borrowing means to return them after you've used them, and I don't recall you ever returning any of my clothes over the past two and a half years."

I open my mouth to retort but find nothing comes out as my mind casts to my closet at home, filled to the brim with layers upon layers of Zac's shirts and hats. "I…" My mouth closes again and I stubbornly turn my gaze away from Zac's triumphant face. "…I do so return them."

Okay, that was lame.

"You've gotten shirts back that I've borrowed." I carry on regardless; a small voice in the back of my mind telling me I really should shut up before I dig myself into a deeper hole. As ever, I'm ignoring it.

"Yeah. Only because when I'm at your place I go out of my way to find them in that jungle you refer to as a closet. You don't actually come to me, shirt in hand, and say "Zac, Baby, I am returning your shirt. Thank you so much for allowing me to take it even though I would have taken it anyway if you'd said no"."

"I…" my mouth closes involuntarily again and I still ignore the incessant part of my brain yelling at me to find a way of changing the subject. "Shut up."

Throwing an arm around my shoulders as he lets out a loud laugh of victory, Zac pulls me to his side. My arm falls across his stomach and my head rests gently against his chest, basking in what little time we have together before I have to leave. "You're a funny girl, Vanessa. A funny girl."

"Funny as in 'funny har-har'; or funny as in plain weird?"

Zac places a small kiss in my hair, laughter still radiating from him. "A bit of both. A perfect mixture of both actually. And that's a compliment, so no slapping!" My raised hand falls back against his stomach and he chuckles at my tired actions. I close my eyes, a small smile forming perfectly on my lips as I sigh contentedly; feeling a strong urge to just fall asleep with him on the couch instead of in bed.

His fingers kneed my head softly, trying to grasp my attention. "Ness."

"Hmm?"

A short pause. I can almost feel his smile as I snuggle deeper against him. "How many?"

My eyes snap open and my sigh is less content and more frustrated. "Why do you want to know?" I close my eyes again.

He snorts ungracefully and pats my cheek. "Because funnily enough, I'd like to know where my own clothes are."

"You've got a load in your closet and drawers and… a tiny, small, incy-wincy select few in my suitcase."

"Plus the thousands others still in your closet."

"Uh huh."

"Van, seriously. At the rate you're going I'm going to end up walking around in my pants because of the lack of clothing."

"I'm sure a lot of girls wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind." I shrug, an evil grin plastering on my face though I know he can't see it. "And anyhow, when all your shirts and hats are in my possession, I'll be making a start on your pants too so you won't have any clothing at all."

"Is this some creepy, top-secret mission you've got going on to make me a full-time nudist?"

"Oh, Baby." I sigh dramatically, my grip tightening around his stomach. "You got me. I'm busted. Nothing gets past you, does it?"

"Well, how would you feel if I took all your clothes?"

I lift my head with an obvious smirk; tiredness momentarily leaving me as I rest my chin on his shoulder and press a kiss to his jawline. "That's okay, Baby. If that's what floats your boat; you do it. You wanna get into the whole cross-dressing scene then that's up to you. But I must warn you you'll lose your heartthrob status almost instantly and you'll find yourself single approximately ten seconds after you put on one of my dresses. I'll feed you a very unconvincing 'it's not you; it's me' line and then I'll be gone – hopefully somewhere involving Johnny Depp and a pirate ship."

Rolling his eyes dramatically, Zac leans his head against mine and sighs; his grasp around my shoulders tightening and holding me closer. "You've got one serious death wish, Hudgens."

I give off a girlish giggle, kissing his cheek hard which does nothing to muffle my chuckles. How the hell am I supposed to get through the next couple of months without him? Sure, we've done it before… one time for longer period of time but your foolish and stupid female thoughts can drive you crazy at the best of times. And it's not like I don't trust him. It's just… stupid thoughts that like to consume your mind when you're sitting thousands of miles away from one another and wondering whether the love of your life has found someone hotter, younger, sexier, cleverer, more stylish, funnier and classier than you are. And that as soon as you're reunited, he's going to turn to you and say, "hey, Baby. We had a good run… But don't you think we just grew apart?"

Am I being too overdramatic? Perhaps.

But it's those evil female thoughts that I know will be taunting me for the next couple of months.

"You love me anyway." I sigh and close my eyes again. My comment half-joking, half-serious. Just testing the waters.

I know he hasn't found anyone hotter, younger, sexier, cleverer, more stylish, funnier and classier in the last twenty-four hours but there's no harm in checking, is there?

"Yeah, I do." Zac yawns; his fingers tangling through the knots in my hair. "And it can be such a pain in the ass."

My eyes snap open again and I lift my head to look at him, my brows furrowed and an unimpressed glint in my eyes. "Oh, you say the sweetest things to me." I'm deadpanned.

"Oh, you know what I mean," he sings to me playfully, pressing his nose to mine so gently I wonder if I've imagined it. "Your twenty-four hour cuteness always puts me off the topic at hand – for example, the fact that you've taken to steal my clothes. You're going to be leaving for Texas with half a dozen of my shirts whether I like it or not basically. And it's all to do with your damn twenty-four hour cuteness."

I smirk teasingly, brushing my nose back and forth against his; swallowing the lump that has formed in my throat – time, my now biggest enemy. "Well," I answer huskily. "Maybe you need to get yourself a girlfriend who doesn't put you off with twenty-four hour cuteness. Maybe you should date a troll or something."

His eyes bore into mine, no longer showing that mischievous glint I love so much. They show something else; something I don't even want to decipher for fear I'd never see it again. "A troll?" He muses with a small smile, causing me to let out a strangled moan when he purposely brushes his lips back and forth over mine. "Maybe a troll wouldn't steal my clothes 'cause, you know, they're tiny."

"Babe." I grin. "That's a hobbit. Hobbits are small."

"Trolls can be small."

"Yeah. In the midget troll world. But generally they're huge buffoons."

Zac laughs hysterically; the brief romantic mood ruined by mentions of trolls and hobbits. I know my eyebrows together in confusion, wondering just what in the hell was so funny. "Did you just say buffoon?"

I tilt my head back slightly. "I might have done."

"Cute." He nods in approval, his fingers climbing up my back and back into my hair. He's worse than I am when it comes to playing with hair. "So I have the choice of dating a troll – a big buffoon who doesn't steal my clothes because they'll be too small for him-her!"

"Nice save!"

Zac winks. "Or I have the choice of dating a cute little… kitten…" I scoff. "…who does steal my clothes but it's okay anyway because she looks so hot and sexy in them…" He leans his face back towards mine, that familiar glint in his eyes and smile dancing on his lips.

Raising an eyebrow slowly and knowingly, I tilt my face further from his. "What are you after? Something involving a bedroom, perchance?"

"It's a compliment!" I giggle softly seeing that he looks genuinely offended. "What? I can't make a compliment without wanting something in return?"

"Earlier you were pretending to be pissed that I borrow your clothes. Now you're saying I look hot in them… and apparently I'm a baby cat. You want something."

There's a pause as I look at him intently, playfully. His smile only widens and his eyes only twinkle more as I can tell he's trying to worm his way out of this one. After a short while of not-so-hard thinking, his eyes finally cast back to mine. "Is a cheese toastie out of the question?"

"You're impossible!" I roll my eyes and press my mouth to his briefly before standing up and straightening out my shirt and making my way towards the kitchen. I guess I just know him too well – after almost three years together we're both sitting in our own little comfort zone – and it's the kind of zone where no one can enter unless you have an exclusive Zac and Vanessa V.I.P pass. It's the kind of zone that the tabloids are trying with all their power to break into; to demolish if possible… and sometimes I let myself wonder what would happen if such an action were to take place. What if they break into it and attempt to scrutinize every part of us? Or what if they succeed in demolishing it? The press are powerful aren't they? Do they have more strength than us? Do the best things in life really last forever?

My thoughts are causing me to get frustrated and vent out the anger into the poor block of cheese I'm currently grating. I don't know why I let my mind wonder to things like that. Sometimes I just can't help it. Sometimes I just like to block out certain situations going on around me and focus on the worst-case scenario in a pathetic attempt to assure myself things could be worse. See, in the early hours of tomorrow morning, I'll be saying goodbye to Zac for about three months whilst we're both dotted on either side of the world filming; but my mind is thinking about situations and scenarios where he'd wake up one day and realise he doesn't want me after all or imagining the headlines that would grace the newspapers and tabloids on the day where the press actually break that protective barrier around us and destroy everything we have together.

See, there are worst things than saying goodbye for three months.

He could sit up, shake his head and think 'what the fuck am I doing with her? Am I retarded?'

I let out a long, shaky sigh as my stupid hormones make me link the two scenarios together to spawn the ultimate worst-case scenario: "Van, Baby, while I was apart from you for three months, I was doing some thinking…"

I hate my brain.

It truly sucks ass.

Zac's socked feet paddle on the hard kitchen floor and I slow my brutal grating; desperate not to have that conversation tonight. It's not just the fact that I'm the worst liar known to mankind; it's the fact that I just can't do it to him. Plus the slight reality that all the acting skills in the world wouldn't allow me to get anything past Zac. I have something on my mind, he knows. I'm upset, he knows. He has these weird-but-wonderful magical powers that I just can't seem to get control of. And in any circumstance, I'm not sure I want to.

His arm circles my waist from behind and I smile as his other hand brushes my hair away from my neck so he can put tantalising kisses there. I feel myself melt back against his body and I drop the contents from my hands to place one over his on my stomach and the other to wrap around his neck, giving him better access. He tilts my chin upwards, skimming his fingertips down my throat slowly as I let out a soft groan at his sensual actions. His tongue teases the base of my neck; sliding over that spot I know he knows pleasures me to the max. As I let myself fall almost limp against him, his hand that's pressed against my stomach latches around me tighter, pulling me up against him. I entwine my fingers with his, the other hand making a tight fist in his hair as I bite my bottom lip with intensity when he starts sucking on my neck lustfully.

I whimper softly in spite of myself when his mouth leaves my neck and his breath washes over my ear. "You okay?"

I blink and shake my head slowly, knowing that as soon as I go to speak, I'll start crying in that girly way; henceforth ruining what time we have left together before I have to leave. I turn my face to his and shake my head again as we lock eyes. "Don't." I whisper over his features. "Don't because I can't do it right now."

I can see the look of confusion turn into one of more understanding; almost as though he was thinking the same thoughts. I fuse our lips together with no thought to anything else happening around us. Zac's other hand drops to my waist, gripping me firmly as I brush my tongue along his bottom lip, desperately seeking entrance so I can just drown. He grants it willingly as I turn in his arms, looping both my arms around his neck and drawing him closer to me – the thought of letting go not even an option. Zac's hands skim down my sides, along my legs; dragging the shirt over my skin and resting his hands comfortably beneath the garment against my upper thighs.

I try with everything that's inside of me to pull him closer; somewhere in the depths of my mind I know that that action is no longer possible. Zac smiles against my mouth; the break in kiss allowing me to take in a large gulp of air that my lungs so desperately need. I tilt my face back towards his, frantically needing more; not knowing how long it's going to be before we can be like this again. And one tiny part located in the back of my mind adding the dreaded 'if' we get to be like this again.

Zac tilts his head back from mine everytime I get closer to his mouth and I moan softly to show my frustrations. He smiles at me, moving his hands down to my backside as he bends his knees and lifts me up onto the counter in one sweep. He stands between my legs, his hands lifting to frame my face.

I gaze at him longingly, the need to have him closer to me growing by the second. He pierces his eyes into mine and every part of my body is at his command; my own control slipped away the moment he had pressed his lips to my neck.

My head falls to a forty-five degree angle and I lick my lips in preparation for his onslaught. But he won't release me from his stare. His thumbs graze over my cheekbones; his touch so feather-like as though I'm some delicate antique. My eyelids flutter at the touch, as I dare myself to believe that it's all happening. I feel his thumbs lightly run over my closed lids, his breath hot against my inviting mouth.

"I did mean it, you know." He whispers to me but I can still make out the sparkle of humour bouncing frivolously in his voice. I just nod my head slowly, my eyes remaining closed as I don't even take in what he's saying straight away. My focus is on his touch; his fingertips that have buried themselves in my hair; his thumbs that continue to ghost over my cheeks and lips. Such simplicity that causes my body to lose all control; to forget how to function properly. "What I said in there." Zac adds, gently touching my nose with his. "I didn't just say it for a cheese toastie." I nod again, allowing my forehead to drop against his; our faces pressing together with the gentlest of touches. "You're beautiful."

At this, my eyes open again. As I lock my gaze with his, my heart swells to ten times its normal size and beats erratically. It's painful. My stomach drops and it feels as though it's dropped a hundred feet before it starts spinning fitfully. Everything I had been thinking only minutes before seems to fade and the fog in my head lifts. Just in those two words, everything just leaves me – my control, my thoughts, my ability to realise that I need to breathe in the oxygen around me to stay alive. Because especially in moments like this, it's just me and Zac. The rest of the world and any natural needs just seem so damn meaningless and useless.

When he finally connects our lips, I curl my fingers around his neck, basking in the sheer bliss of the moment. I whimper when he leaves me again but only so he could sprinkle kisses along my jawline and towards my earlobe. I sigh contentedly, a smile dancing on my face as I hold the back of his neck so he can't pull back from my neck. He's staying there forever; I hope he knows it.

I'm too caught up in the moment to even realise he's lifted me off the counter. I unconsciously wrap my legs around his waist and press my own gentle kisses to his neck as I feel him walking us to the bedroom. He stops next to the bed, allowing himself to fall backwards until his back hits the mattress with a small thud and my body lands perfectly straddling his.

I sit up on his hips, smiling seductively as his finger traces circles on my knee. He's gorgeous. Hair tousled, lips swollen and aching, lust lingering in those pools of blue, chest heaving up and down as he remembers to breathe again. And he's all mine. He's gorgeous and he's mine. Why do I let those thoughts consume me when I know I've got everything I didn't even know I needed? Why don't I ever listen to my Mom or Ashley or even Zac when they tell me to just accept that I got lucky and be happy? I have a hard time accepting that things are just perfect – the fear of losing it all likes to disguise itself as something good; to prepare me for the inevitable it's forced my mind to think is going to happen in the end.

I don't recoil and I don't hesitate as he moves his hands to lift the shirt from my body. I throw it carelessly across the room, leaning toward to press my forehead to his. His fingers brush over my shoulders, pushing my bra straps down to hang loosely halfway down my arms. I see lust lingering in his eyes, soon overpowered with realisation and bewilderment.

"Babe." He swallows and I frown at him; pushing the bangs if hair away from his eyes. "You know when the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks?"

Bam. There it was. Like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over us. I huff and sit back up, gazing down at my fingers that were currently skimming in small circles on his stomach. "Uh huh." I finally answer darkly.

Zac breathes a chuckle as he reaches up and pushes my curls behind my ear tenderly. "What do you think the chances are that he's a compulsive liar?"

I try in vain to calm down my breathing, my erratic beating heart. "I'd love to say that the chances are high but let's face it. The universe hates us." I push my bra straps back into their rightful place over my shoulders and look around the floor for my discarded shirt.

"Maybe he hated me?" Zac offers and causes me to giggle softly as I wonder whether he's actually being serious. "Maybe he fancied you and was jealous that I have you? Maybe he thought to himself that if he told me we couldn't have sex for the next two weeks, you'd leave me and go to him because he has his own appendix and he can have sex for the next two weeks."

"Wow. A fool-proof plan." I swing my leg over his waist and sit down sulkily next to him on the bed; my half-exposed body feeling the chills sweeping around the dimly-lit bedroom.

"Or maybe he got me mixed up with the guy who got castrated?"

"Don't think so, Baby."

"Maybe Ashley is punking me again?"

"Ashley knows she'd die a horrible death if she pulled such a prank on us."

Zac sighs slowly and brushes his fingers against mine, lacing them loosely as I finally look back down at him. "I'm sorry, Babe."

I lie down beside him, resting my head comfortably against his shoulder as he covers my shivering body with the sheets. "It's not your fault." I close my eyes, feeling my hormones slowly start to calm.

"Three months." Zac replies, tightening his grip around my waist. I trace my fingers along his defined jawline, sighing at his words and already feeling the torture of the months of separation. "Fuck."

"We've done it before."

"And it was fucked up that time too. Seriously, I know it's a good idea to take up projects at the same time because then we're both working instead of one being left behind and feeling alone, but it still sucks."

"It's a job." I recite as I snuggle deeper into his side, pressing my lips to his chest where my head lies. "What happened to us promising each other to distinguish a line between our personal lives and our work lives?"

"Doesn't mean I'm not going to miss you, does it?"

I smile at his words and lift my head so I can rest my chin against his chest as I look at him. "You're just gonna miss your clothes and those cheese toasties."

Zac scoffs and rolls his eyes tiredly. "Don't be stupid, Van." His hand finds itself back in my hair; his caresses almost lulling me to sleep instantly. "There's that, plus the fact I'm going to be frustrated for the next three months. It's wrong. Wrong on so many wrong levels of wrongness."

My seductive smirk returns and my fingers find themselves dancing around his chest in careless shapes and slow speeds. "We'll be calling each other every day – the art of phone-sex will be our best friend for the next few weeks." When he smiles widely and blushes, my fingers disappear up his shirt and my nails rake along his stomach causing him to suck in air through his teeth. I lean forward again, meeting his neck with my lips where it's not my turn to nibble and suck at the exact spot I know will make him squirm in pleasure. There's nothing I don't know about his body – parts I know will motivate me in my teasing moods; parts I know will tickle him mercilessly; parts I know will make him moan in such a way that makes me tingle when I hear it. "As for the frustration we're both feeling right now?" I whisper huskily into his ear before nipping on the lobe. "We're only banned from full-sex. I can help with the rest." I smile against his skin as that familiar moan takes place and my body tingles at the sound.

My fingers teasingly make their way lower and lower and I feel nothing but every part of him.

Control leaves us. Rational thought just fades away. And I refuse to let my mind taunt me; refuse to let it wonder what the hell I'd do if I ever lost him.

Fuck. Did that just happen? Did that really, honestly, truly just happen?

Being nominated was more than enough for me. Just being nominated for an Emmy was something that I never contemplated happening in my life. Winning one? Someone upstairs is trying to give me a heart attack.

Ashley and Monique are squealing so loud, my ears are ringing. Everyone's so excited; faces are lit up and grins are so wide they're sure to split faces in two. I can't even think straight, let alone do anything else. Even with the endless flashing cameras surrounding me, I can't take it all in. I just hold my Emmy award up and stare in any direction that random members of the paparazzi are yelling at me to look in.

Zac gives Corbin a quick monkey scrub and laughs as Corbin looks annoyed and fixes his hair – to what style, I have no idea. I just thought he woke up every morning and it was naturally like a big, fuzzy hairball. Lucas and Ashley pull their usual extravagant poses; clearly basking in the moment, taking everything in. And here I am standing here like a weird-looking statue – just staring at nothing.

Monique curls her arm around my shoulder and squeezes me; causing me to blink heavily a few times before looking at her with a small smile.

"Are you alive?" She calls over the yelling of the paparazzi and the screaming of fans who had previously gathered around the building where the Governors Ball was being held.

I shrug my shoulders; shifting my hands that are grasped around my award like a vice. I ignore the aches in my wrist – the weight of the Emmy feels like it's getting heavier and heavier with every second that goes by but I can't seem to let it go. Monique bangs my hip lightly with her own; shooting me a wink and a smile as she walks up to Lucas who was proudly holding his Emmy aloft to the endless cheers of fans.

I feel Zac's hand against my lower back and I look up at him with a small smile as his eyes bore into mine. "So, Vanessa seems to be here in body…just not in spirit." He knocks my forehead lightly with his knuckles and I let out a breathy chuckle at his actions.

"I'm… stumped." I take in a deep breath, feeling my bottom lip quiver. "Are you believing all of this?"

Zac shrugs with a playful smile and rubs his hand in small circles against my back. "I've got a strong feeling Tisdale will come up and pinch me hard and I'll wake up. You know, 'cause she's just that mean." I smile again, glancing over his shoulder to Ashley who's currently got her arms wrapped tight around Lucas' neck. Corbin and Monique are still happily posing for photographs and kissing their awards.

I bite my lip with intensity; emotions overwhelming me as I take in the sights around us – sights that only ever featured in my fantasies when I was younger and hungry for success. Now it was here and it didn't seem real. Because things like this don't happen in real life – at least, not to me anyway. I can see Zac senses my discomfort when he moves my hair back from my face and steps closer, as if shielding me away from the prying eyes.

"You okay, Babe?" He asks when I don't respond to him, the genuine caring look adding to my disbelief and overwhelmed feelings and causing tears to well up in my eyes. I try to blink back the tears but that action only forces them to cascade down my cheeks. "Babe?" Zac asks again, lifting his hand to wipe away the droplets with his thumb. "What's up?"

I shift my Emmy into my left hand and lift my right to dab away at my eyes; thanking Ashley from the bottom of my heart for suggesting waterproof mascara. I gaze at Zac again as his fingers gently linger against my cheek and I offer him a small smile.

"I'm fine; honestly." I scoff at myself; feeling stupid for getting myself in this state – especially in such an exposed environment. "I just didn't think we'd get this far… and winning an Emmy? Babe… it's phenomenal."

Zac smiles and the mist clears from his eyes as he continues to gently wipe away the dampness from under my eyes. "Yeah, I know, Van." He replies, gazing quickly at his own award. "It's gonna take a while to sink in."

"We won an Emmy." I utter again, staring at my own.

"Your intelligence overwhelms me." He chuckles and I roll my eyes at his sarcasm; unable to keep a smile from my lips. He curls his fingers around the side of my neck, his thumb ghosting over my jawline as he fixes his stare on me. "Why do you always have such a hard time believing how amazing you are?"

"Zac…" I blush heatedly, pulling my eyes away from his; never knowing how to act in situations like these.

Rolling his eyes and grinning wildly, he presses his hand back against my back and turns me around gently towards the entrance. "You ready to go in?" I nod quickly, needing to get into the bathroom to fix whatever part of my make-up has been ruined by my tears. Zac turns back to look at the others, who by now were getting tired of posing and looking like they were ready to party. "After you." I smile when he drops a kiss tenderly to my shoulder and follows me into the room where literally hundreds of celebrities were already dining and dancing the night away.

A waiter catches our figures lingering at the entrance and makes his way over; congratulating us on our victory before showing us to our respectful table where Zac and I finally get the courage to put our Emmy awards down.

"Darn, that's heavy."

I'm too star-struck to even notice what he's just said. My eyes dart to different parts of the room; locking on celebrity after celebrity; legend after legend; hero after hero. Just what right have I go to be here anyway? I was only in some Disney television film… What right have I got to stand in such a beautifully decorated room surrounded by true Hollywood legends – people who have been in the business for years; people who are looked up to by millions, who inspire generation after generation. What's so special about me?

"Star-struck much?" Zac laughs from behind me, looping his arms tightly around my waist and pulling me close.

"Are you insane?" I place my hands over his and lace our fingers comfortably. "Look at all these… these…" I drift off, my mouth hanging open with the words hanging off my tongue.

"Celebrities? Other normal human beings? Matt Damon?"

"Holy fuck!" I exclaim a little louder than intended. "Matt Damon is here? Where?"

Zac groans and rests his chin on my shoulder; his hold on me getting somewhat tighter. "Over there." He nods his head in the direction of the bar where sure enough, my ultimate celebrity crush was standing talking to a group of friends.

"Oh my god. Oh my freaking god! Can you see him?"

"As clear as day, Babe."

"Holy shit! This is like…"

"Matt Damon!" Ashley runs over in our direction, her arms flapping around wildly and a goofy-looking grin plastered on her face. "Ness, Matt Damon! It's Matt Damon! You know, Matt Damon!"

I open my mouth to speak coherently, pointing not-so-very discreetly in the direction of the bar. "Matt Damon." I splutter and Ashley nods vigorously in response.

"Do you see him? Do. You. See. Him?" My best friend clutches at my shoulders frantically. "Matt Damon."

"Yeah, Ash. I see him." My grin matches hers and a couple of waiters walk by, chuckling to themselves at the obvious look of bewilderment and determination on our faces. "Matt Damon."

Zac huffs loudly and lifts his head from my shoulder. "Seriously, how many more times can you guys say Matt Damon in one minute?"

"Matt Damon."

"Matt Damon."

"He's so fine…" Ashley gushes and I follow her lead; our eyes pinned on his so-hunky figure, standing sexily all sexy by the sexy bar, sexily drinking a sexy drink. "Oh, V; he's hotter in life…"

"He's scorching in life…" I add with a long sigh before Zac unravels his arms from my waist and turns me around quickly, placing his hands on my shoulders and staring into my eyes.

"Hello? Hi." He says sharply.

"Hi…" Ashley and I both exchange confused glances.

"Remember me? Your boyfriend?" We each raise an eyebrow. "Hi, I'm Zac and I'm your boyfriend. Not ringing any bells? The love of your life… The guy who you're actually dating as opposed to the guy who you fantasize about being saved by in one of those action films. I bet he doesn't even do his own stunts!"

Seeing the feigned wounded look in his features, I gush at him and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my lips against his. "Aww, Baby." I coo. "You know you'll always be my number one celebrity crush."

"Good to know."

"Guys!" Lucas appears at Ashley's side and I turn myself around in Zac's arms to see Corbin and Monique are a couple of paces behind. "You're going to love me!" He looks between me and Ashley, a twinkle exposing itself in his blue eyes.

"Oh, really?" Ashley folds her arms. "What did you do?"

"It's not what I did; it's who I saw!" Lucas excitedly points his fingers towards the bar. "Have you girls checked out who's at the bar?"

"Oh my god!" Monique squeals, emitting Corbin to give off a worried look. "Matt Damon!"

Zac groans loudly and lets his forehead fall against my shoulder. I laugh at his antics before pressing a reassuring kiss to his hair.

"Matt Damon is here?" Corbin raises his eyebrows and follows Monique's transfixed gaze. "As in…Matt Damon?"

"Matt Damon." Lucas nods, clearly impressed with himself and not yet realising Ashley and I had already scoped him out.

"It's Matt Damon!" Monique takes her eyes away long enough to look at me and Ashley in a mixture of disbelief and excitement. "Matt. Damon."

"Wow! Matt Damon!" Corbin finally catches a glimpse of one of his favourite movie stars and looks at Zac. "Dude, its Matt Damon."

"Sorry, who?" Zac blinks, deadpanned. "I didn't quite catch his name."

"Matt Damon." I cheekily add in for his benefit, sliding my arms around his torso and bringing myself closer to him.

"He's so fine…" Ashley puts in again, leaning her head against Monique's.

"Who is?" Zac rolls his eyes again.

"Matt Damon." I add in again, feeling giggles erupt from me as he shoots me an unimpressed glance. "You asked."

"I'm going to jump off a tall building now. I can't believe I was stupid enough to point the guy out to you!"

"Whatever, Efron." Ashley shakes her head at him and beams at me. "Do you think he'll leave his gorgeous wife for me?"

"Uh… one word." Corbin offers, raising his index finger to further his point. "Jared."

"Who?" Ashley answers cheekily and pokes out her tongue before glaring at us all one-by-one. "Not a word."

"Of course, Ash." I reply with a giggle; watching as she grasps a hold of Monique's wrist before she moves over to pull me away from Zac. "Hey, what's with the kidnapping?"

"Kidnapping?" Monique shakes her head approvingly and looks back towards Matt. "Interesting. Very interesting."

"You girls seriously aren't ditching us to spy on Matt Damon are you?" Corbin narrows his eyes at us.

"We'll be back." Ashley waves him off with a playful smile. "Unless he takes one look at us, decides he can't live without us, dumps his gorgeous wife and then asks us if we would like to elope…"

"And before you ask, the answer is yes." Monique adds.

"And then we all have Matt Damon's babies and live happily ever after." I shrug nonchalantly, trying to not laugh as Zac fakes hurt again. He looks over to Lucas, looking angry.

"Man, I had her back to Earth again before you showed up and pointed him out again!"

"Sorry." Lucas holds up his hands in defence. "I thought I was being nice."

"Oh, you were being nice." Monique lovingly pats his head and Lucas smirks in Zac's direction. "Are we going to get a closer look then, Ladies?" She looks at me and Ashley and despite Zac's obvious discomfort with the situation; it's hardly an opportunity I can let pass by. What if Monique and Ashley got his autograph and a photo? What if he says the words "you're cute" and I'm not there? It's not as though we're actually going to elope with him… and if Zac saw any of his celebrity crushes, he would be perving at them all night with Corbin and Lucas. "Matt Damon awaits us."

"Matt Damon…" Ashley sighs.

"Matt Damon…" I add, following my two friends as they timidly head in the direction of the bar.

"Fucking Matt Damon." I hear Zac scoff from behind us.

"He's hotter up close."

"But I bet he's hotter when we're even closer…"

"I bet he's hotter when he's so close that we're about to kiss…"

I admit whole-heartedly that myself, Ash and Mo have serious issues when it comes to Matt Damon. And Johnny Depp – but unfortunately he's not here for us to stalk this evening. Monique has led us around the other side of the bar giving us a wonderfully fantastic view of his butt. That girl has always been in the right frame of mind. We crouch quickly when he turns his head, fearing he would see three gawping girls staring at him in a crazy manner but thankfully we go unnoticed and he turns back to the group of people he was talking to.

"Do you guys get the feeling we've got no right to be here?" I suddenly ask, my gaze falling on the mass of people surrounding us.

"Duh." Ashley knocks my hip with her own. "We're stalking Matt Damon. I'm not sure what we're doing right now is legal."

"No." I sigh with a small smile and roll my eyes. "I mean… here… at the Emmy's… Surrounded by people like Matt Damon. Don't you guys feel out of place?"

"What do you mean?" Monique asks, her main attention still clearly on Matt.

"You know…" My hand circles in mid-air; the words feeling foreign on my lips. "Like…we've no right to be here. Like… Okay, Brad and Angelina are over there. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. People like Brad and Angelina deserve to be here."

"As opposed to what?" Ashley asks, finally taking her eyes away from Matt. "You don't think we've worked hard enough to be here?"

"No, that's not what I mean. What I mean is… Fuck, I don't know what I mean. All I know is that I feel really out of place – like I shouldn't be here and that everyone is thinking 'damn, who the hell is she thinking she can come in here?' Do you know what I mean?"

Ashley and Monique look at one another and smirk and I can't decipher what it is they're telepathically messaging to each other.

"Ness, we just won an Emmy." Monique states with a wide smile. "An Emmy. Do you know how many people our age have got one of these?"

"I know, I know. But don't you feel like its… weird?"

"Okay." Monique turns back to Ashley. "Would she have been more excited if we lost?"

Ashley just chuckles and shakes her head in my direction. "Nah. She just has a hard time believing it when something amazing happens. Remember when we first landed in Utah and she couldn't stop saying 'oh my god, I can't believe I'm here!' over and over? Or before her first date with Zac when she wouldn't stop asking us whether he'd asked her because he really liked her or if he was asking because he thought she was a charity case?"

"In my defence," I cut in. "When he asked me, it wasn't like a typical ask-me-out-on-a-date kind of asking."

"Van, he was blushing, rubbing his neck and stumbling his words." Monique realises her words and her eyes and smile both widen simultaneously before her attention is once again back on Ashley. "Aah…I see what you mean now." She looks back at me sympathetically when she sees my blush clashing hideously with my dress. "V, seriously, just sit back, chill out and enjoy it. If you didn't deserve any of it then it wouldn't be happening in such a fantastic way."

I sigh stubbornly and suddenly see Zac, Lucas and Corbin huddled together just next to the dance floor, laughing at something. "It just feels as though it's all going to be pulled out from underneath me… and I won't be able to do anything to stop it."

"You worry too much." Ashley steps forward and grasps my wrist tightly in her grasp, pulling me along with her as she stomps along the dance floor. Monique rushes behind us and I hear her mumble something about leaving the close proximity of Matt Damon before we all come to a stop next to the boys. "Hey, Efron." Ashley pushes me towards him, a little too harshly. "Present for you."

"Ash!" I scold her as I rub my aching wrist. "I can find my own way round, you know!"

"What's up?" Zac turns to us, clearly amused. "Matt Damon blew you off?"

"Nah, V blew him off." Monique puts in. "Zac withdrawals."

I shake my head with an embarrassed smile, tugging on Zac's hands and leading him towards the dance floor. "Ignore them, Babe. They're just being bitches." I shot the offending twosome an annoyed glance from over Zac's shoulder but all I get in response is them both poking their tongues out at me.

"Ah, so the wonderful Matt Damon isn't all he's cracked up to be up close? Aah, sweet." He wraps his arms around my waist tightly as we gently sway to the soft music.

I lift my head up from the crook of his neck and grin wickedly. "No. He's way hotter in real life… even more up close."

"Did I forget to remind you that I'm your boyfriend or did that intentionally slip your mind?"

"You would act the same if I told you that Rosario Dawson was here."

"Rosario Dawson's here?" His head snaps up and he darts his eyes desperately around the room. I laugh out loud at his actions and when he mischievously looks back down at me, I use that opportunity to kiss him lightly; as much as I can with a large smile refusing to leave my face. He presses his face against mine and I relax against him, forgetting that Matt Damon was standing at the bar to my left and that Brad and Angelina were dancing somewhere to my right. "So…these withdrawals then?" He asks cheekily, his nose brushing gently against mine. "Nice to know what effects I have on you, Babe."

I close my eyes and breathe in slowly; taking Ashley and Monique's advice… not focusing on any reason why I should be in this building; not focusing on what I did to deserve him. I'm just relaxing and enjoying the moment. "Baby, you've got absolutely no idea."

It is a truth universally acknowledged that alarm clocks should be beaten repeatedly with a large stick until their battered remains are nothing but evil, tiny, little things that should be further destroyed before they form back together and literally ruin the world with their incessant beeping.

At least, that's what I think should happen to alarm clocks – especially in this situation. Through the darkness of Zac's bedroom, I glare at the red digits that read 3:58am, daring them to move from one minute to the next; challenging them to tick by until the annoying sound of the alarm will force me out of his warm embrace for a period of three whole agonising months.

I've barely slept; the worry and upset has spent the majority of the night taunting my mind over and over again; trying to make me believe that Zac and I working away for three months is just a disaster waiting to happen. The small rational side of my mind hasn't helped me return to slumber – the arguments darting back and forth in my head made me anything but relaxed.

3:59. Damn, that thing needs to be stopped before it destroys all mankind. Less than a goddamned minute. Zac's still fast asleep, curled up to my back. I can feel his soft and steady breath on my shoulder, his face buried deep in my hair. I close my eyes briefly, drinking in the moment, knowing that we won't be like this together for the next twelve weeks – that my nights during those dreaded months will be consumed of me counting the days impatiently.

My brows knit together in anger. The digits have dared to move to that evil time in the morning and just before the first beep can take place, I stealthily unwind my arm from around Zac's and reach forward; banging my fist harshly on top of the digital clock before my ear drums pierce. 4:00am. What kind of time is that anyway? An evil kind, I'm thinking.

Zac doesn't shift with my movements, but then again I'm not really surprised. If a tornado entered his apartment, he'd sleep all the way through it and if he got himself caught up in the twister, he'd open his eyes briefly, glance around, shrug his shoulders and then fall back asleep. Because that's just Zac. And any other reaction would just have me worried that an impostor was committing a sly offence.

I settle back down against Zac; the sensible side of me willing my body to throw back the covers and get out of bed, have a shower and get ready before the car comes to pick me up and take me to the airport. The not-so-sensible side of my body is telling me to press closer to Zac and superglue myself to him. We wouldn't look that weird, right?

I turn onto my back, watching with a small smile as he gives off a small sigh in his sleep and snuggles his head into the pillow. I bite my bottom lip, wincing at the intensity yet begging myself not to cry. I hate it when I go all girly on myself and it doesn't matter how many times he tells me I look cute, I still feel like a complete moron afterwards. I press my mouth softly against his, my wish not being to wake him up straight away but to just bask in the last few moments I have before I have to get out of bed.

He doesn't respond and a part of me is grateful. The last thing I need is for him to wake up now and make it one hundred times harder for me to leave. With a heavy sigh, I shove the duvet away from my body and slide out of Zac's arms and out of the bed.

The warm sprays from the shower do nothing to ease myself. He's only in the next room and I'm already missing him. But we've done this before – for an even longer period of time. And it is a good idea for us both to be working at the same time – that way we'll get more time off together and there's no point in moping around while the other's away filming. I guess time would go even slower then.

But it still doesn't take away the fact we'll still be an ocean apart. Time differences suck so we'll only have specific times to call one another – when we're not working, when we're not sleeping… It's going to be hell. I run my fingers through my hair and let the water cascade down my face as tears threaten to fall. I suck at goodbyes. I always have. You'd think with all the times I've moved house that I'd be used to it by now but I don't think I ever will be. Even saying bye to Mom, Dad and Stella the night before was agonising.

Switching off the water, I gingerly step out of the cubicle and wrap a towel around myself, hugging it close to my body as I locate another to run through my dripping hair. After brushing my teeth and running a brush through my tangled curls, I slowly walk back into the dark bedroom and towards my suitcase, placing my toiletries inside and resting my beloved teddy bear on top as I close it.

Zac's lying on his stomach now and I smile sadly as I reach over to switch on the lamp at my bedside, enabling me to get dressed without causing too many injuries. I grasp a hold of some underwear and skim them up my legs before reaching for the matching bra. As I slide the straps up my shoulders and let the towel fall, I feel Zac move towards me on the bed.

"Hey." He mumbles sleepily, kissing my shoulders.

"Hey yourself." I shoot back, leaning my head back against his chest comfortably as he secures my bra in place and fastens the clasp. "What are you doing awake? I didn't feel an earthquake."

"You're hilarious, Hudgens." He kisses my cheek and his arms circle my sides and rest on my thighs. "For your information, I got cold."

"So that's seriously all I need to do to get you out of bed? Throw ice on you?" I force a smile, turning my head to look at him. His eyes are still not fully open and his hair is all dishevelled and…sexy. And then I start to wonder whether his doctor was being a compulsive liar when he told Zac he couldn't have sex for two weeks.

"Again; hilarious. Do that and I can assure you you'll die."

I giggle softly, kissing him back when he touches his lips to mine. As we pull away, I turn my face sharply away from his and pick up my jeans; standing up to drag them forcefully up my legs.

"Seriously, I hate watching you get dressed. It feels so… backwards."

I scoff at his comment and turn to face him again, pulling up the zipper and fastening the button. Zac falls back against the pillows, yawning loudly and rubbing his eyes vigorously. I reach for my top and pull it over my head and then pick up my suitcase and start to wheel it out of the room.

"You're going now?" Zac calls after my retreating back in astonishment.

"Ten minutes." I call back sadly, positioning my suitcase at the apartment door, ready for my inevitable departure. I sit my teddy on top of the case and work my way back to the bedroom where Zac's now sitting up and wide awake. Smiling sadly, I crawl across the bed on all fours, straddling his legs and working my way up to his lips where I catch him in a heated kiss. His hands reach up and frame my face, pulling me closer though I don't need the encouragement to do so. I whimper, scooting further against him and sitting on his lap; my arms twirling around his neck as he tongue tentatively brushes my bottom lip. I open my mouth wider, allowing him the access he craves; allowing him to caress every inch of my mouth and worshipping me with every touch.

I pull away for air, only to tilt my head and kiss him again; my need for him right now stronger than my need for oxygen. I don't want to let go; I don't want to part. His hands pull me closer and press me hard against his chest. I moan in protest when he pulls away from me, only to litter his kisses along my jawline and down my neck, forcing my head to roll to the side as I give him easier access.

"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much." Zac kisses me hard again, with such a passion and force that my lips feel as though they're ready to bruise. But I need it. He's my addiction and I can never get enough. I moan into his mouth; feeling my eyes water beneath my lowered lashes as he tangles his fingers into my hair and attacks my neck again. "I love you, Ness." He breathes against my ear, causing me to shiver. "You've got no idea."

My heart breaks and my bottom lip quivers as I allow one tear to fall onto my cheek. Zac immediately captures it with his lips and I bring my hands up to rest on his cheek and in his hair. "You always make this so hard for me to do." I whisper, drowning in those deep pools of blue. "For once, can't you be a complete asshole so me leaving isn't so hard to do?" He doesn't respond; he just touches his forehead to mine, the tenderness forcing another tear to drop. "I love you too."

In the distance I hear a car pull up outside the apartment complex and just knowing it's my ride to the airport makes me lose control of everything and the tears leak out of my eyes; my vision now blurred from the intensity of them. "I gotta go…" I go to reluctantly move from his lap but he holds me in place.

"I'll call you everyday, okay? And I want you to call me as soon as you land in Austin. And no looking at other guys." He smiles at his joke but all I can do is nod slowly. "I'll kick their asses."

"Baby." My voice breaks and I feel numb. "I gotta…" Zac cuts me off with another passionate kiss and I fall into it instantly. The kiss is hurried' it's pouring with passion. It's literally taking my breath away and I feel as though I'm floating in thin air. It's always so amazing to me that he is able to invoke such feelings into me, but I don't ever want to know how he does it. His hands frame my face again; my tears soak his fingers. With every stroke of his lips and touch of his tongue, I tingle erratically and my body shivers from the sensations.

I don't want air. I don't need air. I just need him.

My mind goes crazy; my brain screaming at me to pull away and let go before it gets to the point were we can't move away. The car is outside. It's waiting. I have a flight to catch. I need to let go. We can't kiss forever. We need to break apart at some point. This isn't logical. One of us needs to pull away.

The car horn sounds outside and I agonisingly rip my lips away from Zac's and force myself out of his grasp, not uttering a word. I walk quickly out of the bedroom, blinded my tears and a choke escapes my throat as I heave to breathe at a normal pace again. I fumble with the key, tears rushing down my cheeks and sobs involuntarily wracking my body. I stop at the door, furiously wipe my eyes with my sleeve and feel an ache burst my heart as I hear him jogging after me.

"Vanessa." He comes to a stop in front of me. My chest heaves with the pain and I look at his sad face. I take another mental picture; one I keep with me for three months and fall helplessly into his arms again as I finally allow myself to cry.

I can't say goodbye. I can't think of it as goodbye. I can't think about the next three months. I'm frightened. I'm petrified. I'm scared that somehow I'll lose control and lose everything. He knows there's this insecure part of me; he knows what to do to be there and comfort me when I feel overwhelmed by it all.

He knows all this. But what he hasn't realised yet is that to me, he is everything.