Chapter 7

AN: No where to break in this one either, so it's another really long one. As always, this is for my reviewers and readers. You make it so rewarding to write. I doodled and futzed for a long time with this one...

He stood outside her apartment door, his hand poised to knock. This whole thing was kicking his ass; he had never been this unsure in his life. She called him and left a message, just four words.

"We need to talk."

Derek took a deep breath just before he knocked. It was Saturday morning, bright and early. He had two coffees in a drink tray, and a couple of muffins in a bag. He waited a couple of minutes before he knocked again. He cursed himself, thinking he should have called. He did have a key--she had one to his place, too-- but it had been so long he didn't feel comfortable using it anymore.

He groaned to himself. What was he thinking to have made himself uncomfortable around his Baby Girl? That woman deserved all of him for so long-- and he deserved all of her. They needed each other; he knew that now. Deep down, he always knew it. Now, he just had to convince her.

The door opened and a non-spectacled, sleep rumpled Garcia answered the door. "Derek? It's 6am!" She was absolutely glaring at him; this was not a good start, but he didn't care-he was so glad to see her, she could punch him and he'd still smile. She was wearing adorable blue pajamas covered in pink elephants. Her feet were bare, showing turquoise polish on her toenails.

"Uh, sorry so early, Goddess," he said, holding the coffee tray up at her with the trademark "Derek Morgan" grin. "Peace offering?"

Penelope turned around and walked away, but she left the door open. Derek smiled as he followed her over to her couch. She plopped down on the couch and sat cross legged, her feet tucked under her. Derek sat right next to her, shrugged off his coat, then handed her the coffee.

Pen took a sip. Pumpkin spice. Her favorite. She sighed, and looked over at Derek. She almost smiled at the anxious look on his face. It was so out of character for him. Cocky, smooth, suave Derek was hanging on her every expression. She had the power for the first time in their "relationship," and she wasn't sure if she liked it. It made things so… different.

She yawned and stretched her arms over her head. She didn't sleep well last night. She talked to her friends, rather hopeful about her situation and they came up with some hard insights. At the end, she knew she shouldn't be hopeful, shouldn't think of him as anything more than a colleague. " If he was serious, he'd tire of you, eventually. Players always do." Viv said. And Lydia:"He only wants you because you're free of him." She finally slunk off to bed at around midnight, guarding her beleaguered heart more tightly than ever.

"I suppose I should have mentioned a time or something in my message," she began.

"It's oka-"

"No," she interrupted. "Please let me finish. You shell-shocked me this week, Derek. You did it on purpose and you did it very well. When you want something, you go for it whole heartedly. You set me as your target, and you hit ground zero." He was grinning at her. He was obviously very proud of what he had done. But she wasn't done. Not by a long shot. "Derek, what I want to know is: why now?"

"Because I love you, Garcia," he said simply.

"I know, Derek," she said, surprising him. " As a friend. What changed in me or you that made you see me as more than your friend? What changed?"

Derek looked over at her and sighed. "Baby, nothing's changed," he said, noticing that she stiffened a little. He ran a hand over his face, sighing before he continued. "Truth is, I've always noticed you, as a friend of course, but also as so much more. I think--"

"Ha!" she said, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

"Please let me finish," he said, mimicking her tone and making her smile in spite of herself. "Baby, I know you're not going to believe me on that one, but it's true. You're the reason I loved going to work for a long time; I looked forward to flirting with you."

"Why now?" she prodded.

Derek wasn't pleased with how that was turning out. He wished she'd drop that little question. No man wanted his woman to know that another man made him sit up and take heed. Still, he wasn't going to lie. Not at this stage in the game, and not ever to her.

"Nick Deverell, that's why now," he said simply. "The thought of losing you made me sick. I couldn't think of that without my heart aching. Woman, I don't want to lose you now."

She shook her head sadly, reaching out to hold his hand, her eyes were sad and resigned. Her friends warned her that this was why he was doing this.

"Derek," she said, her eyes big and glistening with unshed tears. "You're doing this because you're afraid I won't be your friend. You needn't worry. No matter who I am with, I would always be there for you."

"Penelope." She knew this was serious, he didn't usually call her by her name! He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the palm gently, electricity shooting straight to her heart. "Listen to me; what I feel for you is so much more than friendship. I know it's more for you, too. I knew it, and I let it go. Because I wasn't ready, because I didn't want to come to you scarred and broken, I became a fool. I come to you now, my mask off, your tarnished knight."

"I'm your friend, Derek, there's…" One quick move, suddenly Penelope was on her back on her couch and Derek was kissing her. Exhilaration filled her body at the touch of his lips. He kissed her with all the passion he had, gently drawing out all the secrets of her soul. He was everywhere, all-consuming, like no other kisses have ever been. She couldn't deny him what he already knew; she wanted him with all her being.

He broke off the kiss, staring at her with passion darkened eyes. "Does a friend kiss you like that, Baby Girl?" He ran a finger over her lips as he pressed more intimately against her. "Does this feel like the response of a friend? Damn it, woman! Believe in me again." He pressed another kiss to her bee-stung lips. He put his forehead against hers, his voice hoarse and pleading. "Trust in US."

She was speechless. It was hard to think with Derek so overwhelming her. This is what she wanted for so long, but real fear nipped at her. She was afraid to take that step. She tore her eyes away from his, and swallowed hard before talking again. "You'd tire of me. You'd wonder what you ever saw in me."

"Do you want to know what I see in you?" Derek smiled gently as he held her chin in his hand, coaxing her to look at him. "I see a beautiful face, and a heart that's been through so much. I see a pure soul, tender compassion, enduring strength, and everlasting love. I see my hopes and dreams, my future. Sugar, there's no one else for me. No one. I'm done playing; I need to come home."

He looked into her face, his heart in his eyes. They were like an open book, pleading, praying and hoping. Never in five years had she seen him look like this, so raw and open.

Her heart swelled. It was what she had wanted for so long. She had to make a decision. She could either take what was right in front of her and believe in him, in them, or believe in fear- fear placed from her friends, fear from the distance of the last few months, fear placed from inadequacy in her own mind, fear of not being enough.

She'd been afraid long enough. Everything she ever wanted was right before her eyes. Then she realized; all along, she needed to believe in herself.

Time to be bold.

It didn't take long for Derek to see the words register in her mind, then her heart. Her eyes watered, but she smiled. "Don't make me cry. My nose is going to get red."

Derek grinned his biggest boyish smile as he sat up and grabbed a tissue for her. He felt younger than he had in months. "Did I win, Baby Girl?" he teased, his heart in his eyes.

She noisily blew her nose, and grinned back. "What do you think?"