I'm just gonna…stick this here and run away quietly.
I am so sorry.
M.K. wasn't sure what she was expecting when she left Moonhaven. Whatever it was, it was not what she found.
Everything was quiet. There was no unrest, no activity of any kind. The thought that Finn was lying about the severity of the attack to keep Nod from worrying had crossed her mind. When she came out, she'd been fearful that the Boggans hadn't stopped at the western falls and somehow invaded Moonhaven as well, but it appeared that she had been overthinking it. There wasn't a Boggan—or Jinn, for that matter—in sight. She sighed in relief. Now she could tell Nod everything was perfectly fine.
But as she turned to go back, something made her hesitate. The forest seemed too quiet. It was always peaceful and serene, but now it felt still, almost lifeless. As if everyone was hiding and holding one big collective breath. That uneasy feeling returned to M.K.'s gut.
She took a step forward and called out a tentative, "Hello?"
She didn't expect to receive an answer, but the silence still felt disturbing when it was all she heard in return. A gentle breeze rushed past, causing the leaves to rustle with a soft whispering sound. Her arms unconsciously wrapped themselves around her torso as goosebumps broke out on her skin.
"Finn?" she tried, taking another few steps forward. It hadn't been long since he'd left. Maybe she could catch up to him to find out what was really going on. She picked up her pace as another gust of wind whipped through her hair. "Anyone there?"
She stepped off the stone and onto a path of lily pads that cut across the stream. Even though she'd crossed it many times, she was still careful to watch her step for fear of losing her balance and falling into the water. Again. Somehow she managed to make it to the shore swiftly and dryly, and once her feet hit the dirt she took off running. Why, she didn't know, but the tension hanging in the air gave her a sense of urgency that made her legs twitch with unrest.
M.K. weaved through the reed stems that grew from the bank, trying her best to only set her feet where the mud was somewhat firm. When she got to dry ground, she ran faster in the direction of the falls.
She didn't get far before she heard a noise. There was a faint rustle in the grasses ahead, the sound of firm footsteps. With a soft gasp, M.K. darted toward a thick stem of grass and barely made it before the tangle of underbrush was being shoved aside. Her head leaned out the slightest bit from behind the plant, heart beating like a hammer against her ribcage, eyes widening in fear. She watched with rapt attention as a figure emerged from the grasses and stumbled out into the clearing.
And then she blinked. "Ronin?"
The man stopped when he saw her and bent over to put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. "What are you…doing out here?"
M.K. stepped out from behind the plant. "I came to see what was going on."
He gave her a puzzled look, wordlessly asking for further explanation.
"Finn came to the infirmary," she continued, entwining her fingers. "He said there were some Boggans spotted by the western falls and that you'd gone to check it out. Nod thought something was wrong so I told him I'd go see."
The general pushed himself upright with a heavy breath. "I knew it was a bad idea to tell him about it. I just didn't want him to worry in case I didn't return for a while."
M.K. took a step closer. "What happened?"
"Some Jinn thought they saw a Boggan by the falls, so I told them I'd take a squad to investigate. Turned out there was a group in the water." He looked down and placed his hands on his hips, a light blush coloring his cheeks. "I…didn't think we were going to find anything, so we weren't well prepared to deal with them. They caught us off-guard. We were able to get the situation under control fairly quickly, but I lost my bird and got separated from the group in the process. So I started walking in the direction of Moonhaven, ran into you, and now here we are."
"And Finn didn't go with you?"
"He started out with us, but when it looked like there might be some trouble after all I sent him back to tell you and Nod I wouldn't be back for a while."
There was a short but pregnant pause. M.K. twiddled with the hem of her hoodie, looking nervously around at the forest.
"So they're coming back?" she asked.
"Looks that way."
She wasn't surprised. They had all been expecting it—they just hadn't known when the Boggans would become aggressive again. She just wished it hadn't happened when it did. Then maybe the events of the past few days would never have occurred. "We shouldn't tell Nod about it. It'll just make him more restless than he already is."
Ronin chuckled. "You don't have to tell me that." Then something seemed to occur to him. "You didn't leave him all alone, did you?"
A tremor of nervousness suddenly ran through M.K. "Well…yeah. Heather had to step out of the room for a minute. But she said she'd be right back."
"Oh, great," he hissed, straightening his breastplate before taking off at a brisk pace.
M.K. hurried to follow him. "What?"
"You know how he is. If you leave him alone, chances are he'll do something stupid."
"But you don't really think he'd try anything now, do you?" she queried, suddenly finding that she didn't fully believe it herself. "I mean…he's not that stupid. Right?"
Ronin lifted an eyebrow. "I wouldn't put it past him. I've made that mistake before."
M.K. groaned audibly. When Ronin shifted into a jog, she was more than happy to follow his example. She cursed Nod under her breath as she ran. It seemed she would never be able to stop worrying about him. The idiot.
Ronin explained on the way that, before running into her, he had been planning to return to Moonhaven to grab another bird and rejoin his squad, but assured her they would be able to fare well without him until he made sure that Nod was all right. He reasoned that the group would be back in no time, and now that Finn was on the way to them, subduing the small number of Boggans that remained shouldn't be a problem.
So M.K. took his word for it and focused on nothing but keeping up with him as they ran. But all the while, she could feel anger toward Nod building up within her. If he really had done something stupid…well, she'd never had much trouble expressing her thoughts. He would know how she felt.
It didn't take long to reach Moonhaven again. Her breathing was labored and ragged by the time they pushed past the ferns guarding the entrance. M.K. had no idea how, but Ronin put on a burst of speed as they made a beeline for the infirmary, and she fell even further behind him. When at last they turned into the hall that led to their destination, she slowed down a little to catch her breath and push her sleeves up her arms.
But then she noticed the way Ronin had stopped suddenly, as if he'd been frozen in place. His eyes were wide in fright, a look that did not belong on his strong face. M.K. followed his gaze to the floor and spotted the form lying in a heap on the stone next to the wall.
Her stomach lurched.
Nod…
As always, Ronin was a step ahead of her. He rushed to the boy's side before she could even react, hands hovering uncertainly by his shoulder. "Damn kid…!"
M.K.'s feet moved on their own accord and brought her over to them. She knelt, feeling her own eyes widen at the sight. Nod's good arm was stretched out in front of him and his legs lay in a tangle. He was rolled over in a way that put most of his weight on his right side. Judging from the position, she guessed he'd been trying to drag himself outside using the wall for support, but couldn't even make it halfway before the effort proved too much for his weakened body.
That stupid idiot! she growled to herself. He lied to her! She should never have believed him when he said he'd stay put. Maybe she was really the idiot here for thinking he would actually follow through with that. But in her defense, at least she'd given him enough credit to believe he had enough sense to stay in bed when he'd just begun recovering. The fact that she'd been wrong just fueled her anger.
Ronin slowly turned the boy onto his back, being careful not to disturb his healing injuries, and began to shake his good shoulder. "Nod? Come on, wake up."
Nod's head rolled to the side and he moaned in protest like a teenager who didn't want to get up for school.
"Get up, you idiot!" Ronin growled irritably, his concern taking a mask of anger. Some of it probably was actual anger.
Nod's eyes finally fluttered open and he peered up at his commanding officer with confusion. "R…Ronin?"
The man's glare deepened. "What in the world are you doing out here? Are you insane?"
"No," Nod muttered grumpily.
"Then you must be completely stupid. Why in the name of the forest are you out of bed?"
Nod made a weak attempt to sit up, but gave up after raising his back two inches off the ground and fell back with a groan. "I was going to help."
"Help?" Ronin scoffed. "You really must be insane if you thought you'd be any help in your condition. The only way you can help is by doing what you're told and staying put for once."
"But Finn…Finn came in and said there were Boggans," the boy sputtered. "I couldn't just sit there!"
Ronin's mouth quirked. "Well, since you're obviously not capable of walking correctly, I'd say that sitting there is actually the only thing you can do." He maneuvered Nod's arm around his shoulders and began helping him to stand. "And there weren't any Boggans. Not in Moonhaven, anyway. Just a small cluster by the falls. We got it taken care of."
Nod grimaced as he got to his feet. Once he was standing, he doubled over with a pained groan and leaned heavily on his commanding officer. M.K. reached out hesitantly for his other arm, but was scared of hurting him further. In the end she just walked beside him as Ronin helped him struggle down the hall. No one said a word until Nod was settled in his cot. Once M.K. was sure he was all right, the real scolding started.
"You're so irresponsible!" she blurted, her pent-up fear finally receiving an outlet. Her voice had that underlying growl to it that was always audible whenever she was really, genuinely angry. She began pacing at the foot of the cot, hands waving around expressively. "Don't you know you're still healing? You can't do things like this, Nod! I don't care if you don't want to sit there. You're not ready to walk around yet, and trying to isn't going to speed anything up! You're just going to make yourself worse. And I…I don't want to see you get worse. Okay?" She glared at him through bright green eyes. The frightened look on his face told her that she was getting her point across.
For further emphasis, she marched toward him, fists clenching in front of her. "You lied to me, Nod," she muttered, voice low with dangerous anger. "You told me you weren't going to try to get up. I thought you knew better. Just…do us all a favor and think for a change! I know you actually have some sense stuck in that rock you call a brain somewhere. So use it." She spun abruptly on her heel and stalked out of the room, putting a fine point on just how upset she was with him.
The truth was that he'd scared her. If he was dumb enough to attempt something like this so early in his recuperation, what other reckless things would he try later on? She should've known he would be one to try doing too much too soon. She just didn't think it would be this soon. If he wasn't going to let himself get well, then the responsibility fell to her.
The guilt she felt for leaving him didn't help matters. But was she really to blame? Part of her argued that she was totally justified in believing Nod knew better. But another part insisted that she should've seen it coming.
That didn't change the fact that he'd lied. And maybe that's what hurt most of all. While it was a well-known fact that Nod was selfish, immature, reckless, and impulsive, he'd never lied to her before. Now she was not only worried about him, but her trust was fractured as well. She'd spent hours worrying over him, sitting by his side without sleep to make sure he didn't die. And now he was going to disregard all of it and pull something like this?
M.K. shook her head, moving down the hall. Unbelievable.
"You really don't have any brains, do you?"
Nod's gaze remained trained on his lap. For once, he didn't even try to answer. Shame burned in his cheeks and his jarred injuries pulsed with sharp, shooting pain.
"You can't think about yourself all the time," Ronin continued, soft. The anger was gone from his tone, but somehow that only made his words hurt more. "Think about her, how she must feel. You didn't see the way she sat by you all night, trying to make you comfortable. She's refused to leave your side since this whole thing started and hasn't taken hardly any time for herself. All she's been concerned about is you." He sighed, looking more tired than Nod had seen him in a long time. "So maybe you'd care to remember that the next time you're thinking about going against orders. You're not only hurting yourself; you're hurting others too."
The look in Ronin's cold blue eyes gave Nod the feeling that "others" included more people than just M.K. Guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders like the loads he had to cart around during training. Looking back, he realized the stupidity of trying to leave the infirmary. But at the time, all that mattered was the safety of Moonhaven…and of everyone in it that he cared about. Maybe some of his motivations had been selfish. Maybe his judgment had been clouded. But he really had wanted to do something noble and courageous. Shouldn't he get some sort of credit for that? He definitely hadn't expected it to backfire so violently.
"I was trying to do the right thing," he said. "Getting out there to help you without thinking about myself—being selfless, like you've told me. I didn't think you would get mad at me for it."
Ronin pressed his thumb and forefinger into his eyes. "That's just the problem. You don't listen. The best way you can help anyone is by following orders. You might've had the right intentions, but a good soldier obeys his commanding officer instead of going off on his own." His hard eyes studied Nod for a moment or two. "And a smart soldier knows that he needs more than three days to recuperate after an injury like yours. Did you honestly believe you'd be able to help in this state?"
For once, Nod found he couldn't offer a retort. Because he had believed that. Or at the very least, he'd hoped he would be able to do something besides sit in bed. But he couldn't tell Ronin that. The thought sounded foolish even as it ran through his own head.
Instead he opened his mouth, fully intending for some smart comment to exit it, but none did. He blamed it on the ungodly pain in his side.
After a few long moments of silence and trying not to let himself curl around his throbbing abdomen, he finally whispered, "I'm sorry."
Ronin blinked. "Come again? I didn't quite catch that."
"I said," Nod snapped, throwing a glare at the Leafman, "that I'm sorry."
Ronin cocked an eyebrow, the hint of a smile just beginning to show at the corner of his mouth. "Sorry for what?"
"Sorry for making you worry. Sorry for doing something dumb."
"And?"
Nod ground his teeth. "Sorry for disobeying orders." The words tasted foul. He disobeyed orders all the time, but he'd never apologized for it before. Not genuinely, anyway—there had been a few times before Tara died that Ronin had made him do it in front of the regiment as punishment, but he'd never really meant it. Then again, before Tara died he hadn't exactly had an interest in being a model soldier. Even now, being a model soldier didn't really sit right with him, but he at least wanted to start pulling his weight and taking responsibility. He was maturing; even Ronin had said so since the battle with Mandrake.
He expected Ronin to smirk at him, to tease him for his humility. Or maybe accept the apology with a surly nod and no apparent forgiveness. What he did not expect was for Ronin to smile—or what counted as a smile for the callous man. It was nothing more than a soft upward curve of his lips, but it was an expression that Nod didn't get to see very often. He placed a strong hand on Nod's shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. "You're forgiven. I'm just glad you didn't get far enough to cause anymore damage to yourself."
Nod gave a tight, fleeting grin that probably resembled a grimace more than a smile. He was glad for Ronin's acceptance of his apology, especially without giving him any more grief for it, but he wasn't so sure about the last part. The pain is his side was evening out into one all-encompassing ache, and he'd unconsciously been letting himself bend forward until he was completely doubled over and his hand was pressed against his bandages.
Ronin watched the decline with a deepening crease between his brows. "Guess I spoke too soon." He rose from his seat and began to make his way out of the infirmary, but not before pointing a stern finger at Nod. "You stay put."
Nod didn't even bother giving an answer to such a ridiculous order.
When M.K. had calmed down enough to enter the infirmary again, she was met with the sight of Heather bending over Nod's torso. The bandages were piled on the floor in a heap, and the healer's leafy hands were inspecting the exposed wound closely. It didn't look like much—just a reddened puncture in Nod's flesh, but M.K. could tell it was irritated.
A bit of leftover anger flared in her again because the foolish boy had done this to himself, but she forced it back down. She'd talked with Ronin after she'd gone off on the injured Leafman and had a better understanding of why Nod had done what he'd done. Not that it made him any less idiotic, but it was good to know he'd apologized.
She waited at the back of the room while Heather finished applying salve and new bandages. When the flower Jinn had gone and she was alone with Nod, she approached him and sat on the stool at his bedside. "How are you feeling?"
"All right," he replied softly. "Better now. They gave me some pain medicine and it's making me s-sleepy."
She'd have to be quick, then. "I'm sorry for going off on you," she said, even though she wasn't really all that sorry. But she realized that maybe she shouldn't have shouted quite like that.
"It's okay. I guess I deserved it." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. And I'm sorry I told you I wouldn't get up and then…and then did."
M.K. blinked. She was struck, not for the first time, of just how much Nod was growing up. A few beats passed in which neither teen spoke. Nod stared, no doubt waiting for her to say something, while M.K. stared back, trying to decide how to respond.
"Don't lie to me again, Nod."
The boy winced at her dry tone, lowering his eyes.
M.K.'s gaze was unwavering. "Especially about something like this. You might not have thought it was a big deal, but it is. You have no idea how afraid I was for you."
"I know." His voice was slightly exasperated, and she wondered if he'd thought at all about how she had felt over the past few days. "I really am sorry. I'll…try to use my head better from now on."
It was the look on his face rather than his words that caused M.K.'s lingering anger to finally dissipate. His amber eyes, even while beginning to grow heavy with drowsiness, were big and round and held so much guilt that M.K. couldn't have stayed mad even if she'd wanted to. Nod probably had no idea he was giving her a puppy dog look, or that it was so effective that her stomach fluttered.
A smile pushed its way onto her lips and she rolled her eyes. "Well, that doesn't mean much. Your head's like a rock." She reached out and patted his cheek with mock sympathy. "A smart rock, though."
Nod laughed freely. It was wonderful to hear. "All right. Fair enough."
M.K. laughed with him, but was all too aware of the way his blinking was becoming longer and more frequent. "You should get some rest."
"Are we okay?" he asked, turning his head on the pillow to gaze up at her.
She grinned again, warmth pooling in her stomach. "Yeah. We're okay."
Then she leaned over and kissed him. Nod kissed her back briefly before falling fast asleep.
And from the doorway, Ronin smiled.
Fin
Well…I finished it? Though at this point I doubt that's something to be proud of…
I hope the ending wasn't too disappointing, especially after all this time. Please don't hate me.
But thank you for reading.
