"The scanner found a life sign." Kaidan surged onto his feet, his eyes glued to the console. "Weak, but it's there."
Hannah grabbed his arm, her eyes wide. "Where?"
He led the way, his eyes fixed on that one, tiny, flashing point –barely a heartbeat, but it was enough. It was her. He knew it. It had to be.
Navigating the rubble purely by instinct, the beeps increased in frequency until they were near-constant. Hannah followed so close behind that she nearly crashed into him when he stopped short in front of a roughly rectangular structure about four feet high. Looking at it up close, he could tell that it was in much better shape than the rest of the broken pieces of Citadel, but from afar, it would look just like the rest of these endless fields of rubble. Maybe some of the shielding had survived and protected her long enough to get through the atmosphere? His tech-inclined mind was racing, but he told himself to obsess about the hows and whys later. She was alive, the beeping of his omni-tool a constant, high-pitched reminder.
If he hadn't been searching for life signs... He pushed the thought out of his mind. He had, and she was alive.
"Here," he told Hannah, patting, then shoving, the side of one wall. Solid. At least it had protected her, but getting her out now... "Inside this. Or under it. But she's alive."
"You're sure it's her?"
"Yes. No." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's impossible to tell from out here. But it has to be. Who else could have survived this?"
That explanation made sense to Hannah – or maybe she was just as desperate as he was – and she nodded once, looking over the structure with a critical eye. Despite how much damage it had taken, the pieces leaning on each other were far too large to move by themselves. "We're not getting in there without help."
"I'll go," he offered, but she shook her head.
"I've slept more; you'll pass out running back. Stay here." She shoved a finger at his chest, making him rock backwards. "Don't let her go."
"Yes ma'am."
She ran off, debris sliding everywhere as she climbed up and over the endless hills of rubble, running back to the others as fast as she could. He turned back to the ruined piece of the Citadel that had kept Shepard trapped, but alive, for the past two and a half days.
"You did it, Shepard," he murmured, reaching out to rest his hands against it. "The Reapers are gone. You saved us. And I know you hate letting other people help you, but this time I have to insist." He chuckled weakly, wishing she was there to roll her eyes and grin at him. "Let me save you. Just this once, okay?"
Kaidan glanced back down at his omni-tool. It couldn't tell him everything, couldn't even tell him for certain that it was Shepard in there – only his gut instincts and his desperate heart could tell him that – but it could monitor life signs fairly well, even remotely. But Shepard's heartbeat was barely registering. Where the hell were Hannah and the rest of them? He looked over his shoulder, expecting the others to be running toward him, ready to help, but it hadn't been long enough, especially since she needed to find doctors, a field medic kit, soldiers to move the rubble...
"Hang on, Shepard," he whispered. "I'm here. I promised, remember? We're all here, everyone's looking for you. It's been a crazy couple days. I'll tell you all about it once we get you out of there, okay? Just hold on a few more minutes."
But she couldn't hear him, couldn't have obeyed even if she did. Her heart was beating far faster than normal, working overtime to keep her body running. He'd known that if she'd actually survived, she would be badly injured, but being here, with a heart rate like this, she must have lost a lot of blood. And after how long she'd been without food, water, doctors...
"Don't you dare, Shepard," he whispered. "Don't even think about dying on me now. After all this... I found you, now just hold on and you'll be fine."
As he watched, the flashing light showing her pulse got dimmer, and dimmer still.
Then it disappeared entirely.
She would not die in there. Not while he was right outside.
He took a step back, his hands balled into fists and his eyes focused and clearer than they'd been in days. He might not be able to save her, but he could be there for her, and she'd know she wasn't alone.
The doctors' stern warnings against the use of his biotics echoed in his mind as a corona of blue energy engulfed him. A shock of pain made him wince, but he ignored it, pushing aside any worry he felt and taking another step back to reach out to see what he was dealing with.
The slab of Citadel that had trapped Shepard was huge and would have been difficult to lift even on one of his best days, and in his current condition, with a damaged implant, he didn't know if it was possible without killing himself.
But he didn't have a choice. He wasn't letting her die in there alone. It could move. He would move it.
He pushed at the slab and another stabbing pain from the back of his skull made him gasp, his biotics faltering for a moment. But he gritted his teeth, focusing all his energy on lifting the massive piece of rubble. The weight of it was more than he'd ever lifted before, almost more than he could handle, but another weak beep sounded from his omni-tool and he surged forward.
The rubble shifted and groaned, the pain and pressure in his skull building past the point where he knew he'd have a killer migraine, but he put more and more of his energy into the still-unmoving slab. But he pushed through the pain, and after a long, scary moment, it slowly began to move upwards. Just a few inches, but he smiled even as spots danced before his eyes.
But his smile disappeared at a sudden cracking sound as the rubble started to break in half, cracks racing widthwise faster than his eyes could follow.
No!
His other hand shot out, another surge of biotic energy catching the falling piece. He had control again, but now he was forced to balance both pieces independently, doubling the strain on his already damaged implant. He gasped in pain, his migraine already so bad that even the pale light of the moon was agony.
Slowly, torturously slowly, Kaidan shifted the rubble away. Lightning bolts of torment radiated from the back of his head. Something was wrong, seriously wrong, nothing had ever hurt this badly before in his life. The times when he'd broken his leg as a kid, his worst migraine, that robot on Mars almost killing him all faded in the face of this impossible anguish.
But Shepard was right there, dying alone, and he wasn't going to let her go. Not alone. Not without saying goodbye.
The moment the rubble cleared the rest of the structure, he released his hold on it, the blue glow disappearing and the wreckage crashing to the ground, dust and dirt flying upward. He barely saw it before he collapsed, his eyes squeezing shut against the world as his knees simply stopped supporting him.
Get up, a voice said, and it took him a long moment to realize it was his own. He forced his eyes open despite the intense pain in his head, choking and coughing from the dust in the air, and reached to the back of his head, feeling a wetness that a quick glance confirmed was blood.
Find her. The voice spoke again, and he struggled to get off the ground. The light of the stars were like spotlights shining directly into his eyes, and shards of the Citadel dug into his palms as he crawled on his hands and knees toward the structure, the pain and dizziness in his head making him unable to get to his feet.
A three-foot wall stood between him and Shepard, and he lunged upward, grabbing the top of it and dragging himself over inch by inch, squeezing his eyes closed and navigating by touch alone. He made it over and let himself fall, collapsing to the ground on the other side, breathing heavily from exertion and fighting the overwhelming agony in his skull.
His body desperately wanted to shut down, but he fought off unconsciousness and pushed against the ground, forcing his head up as he felt more blood running down the back of his neck.
And there she was, just as he'd known she would be.
If his omni-tool hadn't still been softly beeping, he would have assumed the worst. As it was, he almost thought that anyway. He'd seen Shepard in bad shape before, but nothing like his – covered in blood and burns, white as a sheet, laying perfectly still. Her armor was utterly ruined and set off to one side.
She must have been awake for a little while, at least, he thought, his own pain forgotten as he crawled toward her. Irien's face was barely recognizable behind the cuts and blood and dirt, and he reached out to touch her hand. It was freezing, and he'd had enough medic training to know that she was in bad shape if her body was shutting down the extremities to keep her organs going for as long as possible.
Her pulse-
He reached up to her neck, and even there he could barely feel anything. Her heart was beating weakly, but fast, and even as he listened and tried to count the beats, he could feel that the rhythm was irregular.
"Shepard," he said, his voice rough. "I'm here."
As much as he wanted to hold her, he didn't want to risk making her injuries any worse than they already were, so he struggled into a sitting position close by and stroked her hair, gazing down at her.
"You said you'd be waiting," he whispered. "I showed up. I promised, remember? I'll- I'll fix you. Please, just- stay with me. Please."
He touched her cheek gently, hoping for some kind of sign that she could hear him.
Unconsciousness finally pulled him under and he felt himself sliding to the ground, but his eyes remained fixed on Shepard until the last moment.
Kaidan woke up in the hospital for the second time in three days.
This time, at least, he wasn't nearly as groggy, and though his head still throbbed with pain, he noticed that his surroundings had changed yet again. Apparently while he'd been unconscious, they'd moved him to a cot in a windowless room they'd converted to a hospital – no medic tents for him this time.
But his location didn't concern him as much as the soft voice that greeted him the moment he opened his eyes.
"Hey, Kaidan."
He looked toward the sound, and there Shepard lay, on a cot to his left. He wondered for a moment if he'd died, or maybe if he was dreaming – but he couldn't be. If he was, she wouldn't have those bruises, burns, and cuts on her face and arms; the bandages and medigel covering her skin; the tubes and needles pumping who knew what into her bloodstream. Despite all that, she had a smile on her face, her green eyes shining as she looked at him.
He exhaled a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Shepard," he whispered. The bed she lay on was only a foot from the edge of his own – some kind soul must have arranged them that way, and he said a silent thanks to them as he reached out blindly for her. Despite the poor condition she was in, her hand grasped his tightly. "You're alive."
"So are you," she smiled, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. His vision started to blur, and he realized the same was true for him.
"And both of you are very, very lucky to be that way," Hannah Shepard said. He hadn't noticed her sitting in a chair nearby, but she stood and moved to stand at her daughter's other side.
He looked up at her. "How long-"
"Fifteen hours."
"Shit."
Hannah chuckled. "I'm actually surprised you're up and moving around so soon. After what you did... I thought I told you to wait for me before starting any rescue attempts, Major." She sounded amused.
"Had a situation come up, ma'am," he replied, looking back at Shepard. "I couldn't leave her in there alone."
"I know," she said, but her voice sounded sad. "I just wish-" she began, but cut herself off, looking away.
He glanced up at her. "You wish...?"
"I'll get the doctor. And the others – your whole squad is outside, they've been waiting for you to wake up." She fled the room before he could object, and he turned back to Irien.
"Are you okay?" he asked. He shook his head, but a moment of dizziness forced him to close his eyes for a moment to recover. "I'm sorry, stupid question."
"I'm alive, thanks to you," she said, but her smile was a little sad. "Almost everything will heal within the next few weeks."
"Almost?"
"My- my leg," she confessed, reaching down to touch her left thigh with a trembling hand. "Took a hit from a Marauder before I made it through the beam, and after Anderson- after everything that happened, I hardly had any medigel, and I couldn't..."
She had to stop, shutting her eyes and turning away from him.
He squeezed her hand. "Hey, Shepard... You don't have to say anything. But I'm here, and I'll listen, if you want to talk about it."
She smiled at him weakly. "No, it's- it's fine. They, ah, they did everything they could, but they said-" Her voice cracked, but she took a deep breath and pressed on. "It was too late, I guess. Something about- nerve damage. It healed wrong because I only had enough medigel to stop the bleeding, and I couldn't get the bullet out... They operated, but they couldn't- make it like it was."
She turned back to him, her eyes red and tears streaming down her face. "I can pretend at being a diplomat or an admiral or- anything else, but at the end of the day, I'm just a soldier, Kaidan. It's all I've ever been. I'll have a limp. I won't- They don't even think I'll be able to run. How am I supposed to fight?"
"You won this war, Shepard," he told her gently. "The fight is over."
She didn't get a chance to reply before her mother returned, followed by two doctors and Admiral Hackett.
"Good to see you awake, Major," Hackett said with a smile, "though I'd appreciate it if you stayed out of certain-death situations from here on out."
"As long as she will too," he replied with a smile, inclining his head toward Shepard.
But a shooting pain at the motion made him gasp, his hand flying to the bandages there. "What-" he began, then paused, frowning. Something felt... off. Wrong. There was suddenly a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he looked up at the doctor, who stood above his bed with an expression of... pity. "What happened?"
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but your implant has been damaged, Major," he said, glancing over at Hackett. "Further damaged, I should say."
He just stared at him. "How?"
"I'm sure you remember that we told you of the damage during your charge to the Beam, and we had planned to operate and fix it once your skull fracture healed," he explained. "But I'm afraid that lifting that rubble was far beyond the normal ability for any L2, much less one with a damaged implant."
A cold fear gripped his heart. "What are you saying?"
"I'm afraid your implant has... the best way to explain is that it shorted out," he said slowly. "Since it will no longer be able to amplify your biotics, your abilities are... nearly unusable. The damage is inoperable, and, unfortunately, irreparable as well."
The doctor's words faded away as a rushing sound filled his ears.
"To be perfectly honest with you, Major Alenko, you're extremely lucky that the implant breaking didn't kill you outright..."
Irreparable.
Nearly unusable.
Without his biotics, what was he? A soldier, but not a particularly good one. A tech, but his skills couldn't compare to someone like Tali or Engineer Adams. Almost his entire life had been centered around his biotic abilities – leaving home for Brain Camp, the incident with Vyrnnus and Rahna, joining the Alliance, being placed on Shepard's squad...
Kaidan's mind spun in circles of anxiety and fear. He'd always had his biotics to fall back on – without them, what was he supposed to do? Who was he supposed to be?
But a squeeze from Shepard's hand in his yanked him back to the present, and he looked over at her.
The droning of the doctor and the concerned looks from Hackett and Hannah fading into the background as he met her eyes, and he remembered everything else in his life – everything he'd accomplished, the places he'd been, the people he'd helped, his friends, his family.
And, of course, Shepard.
They were alive. That was all that mattered.
"Okay."
The doctor paused in his explanation, looking at him quizzically.
"I'll... adjust," he said, still gazing into her eyes. "It'll be... strange. But it's not the end of the world."
Shepard's smile lit up her whole face. "You're right," she agreed, her hand held tightly in his. "It's the beginning."
A few notes, at the end:
I knew after beating ME3 that I'd have to come up with a really convincing headcanon to make the ending go away, and I'm glad that so many of you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, fave-ing, alerting, PMing, tweeting, and tumblring with me throughout this ridiculous emotional rollercoaster - it really means so much to me that you enjoy my writing and think I did at least a little justice to the awesome characters and setting that BioWare gave us.
Extra thank-yous to Annakie, Blappity, and Kirstieroo, without whom this story would be a lot crappier and less medically accurate, haha.
I'm planning on writing the continuing adventures of Shepard, Kaidan, and the whole crew, telling the story of what they get up to after this. It might not update as quickly as this one, since my ending-headcanon is done, but I'll be working on it - and I promise a lot more happy (including possibly space!weddings and Shenko babies). :) I'll be posting drabbles/excerpts/pictures of Kaidan on my tumblr (impsythealmighty) and twitter (impsy), so feel free to come say hi!
As a final note - I have a bit of a "deleted scene" that could serve as an epilogue that I can post if you guys are interested.
Thanks everyone!
