A/N: First of all, I want to take a minute to send a shout out to the amazing ladies in the FSOG FanFic Obsessed group on Facebook, especially Diamond Child, Lanie Loveu, Daisy Grey, Carmel Roads, Phillaenis Samos, and all the other ladies who either grace us with amazing stories or simply take the time to read and review our products (Sorry if I missed out on anyone, but I can't remember everyone's name). If you haven't checked out their stories, make sure to do so.
For those of you who don't know about it yet, I've written a one-shot called Desires, and I received a few harsh reviews about it, not that it wasn't expected. However, to the trolls who aren't brave enough to sign in, what-the-fuck-ever. This is my profile, and if you don't like anything I write, don't read it. I live thousands of miles away from you, and I'm pretty sure I did not march into your houses, opened up your web browsers, and forced you to read my stories at gun-point. When I write a story that I think might not be suitable for everyone, I write a warning about it. I'm pretty sure all the other writers do the same. Having said that, please enjoy this chapter!
Chapter 7
Ana POV
Wednesday, Nov. 26th, 2016
I did it!
That's the only thought I have going through my mind as I walk out of Dr. Greene's practice. I feel my whole body buzz with nervous energy as I walk to my car after going through my final round of IUI. Dr. Greene advised me to do a blood test exactly two weeks from today to see if things worked out. She said that the results would be more conclusive, and that it will spare me the nerves of having to wait for my period to be late.
However, as soon as I get in my car, my mind goes back to Christian and what happened the day before. When I finally turned my phone on this morning, I found 15 voice messages from Christian, but I deleted them all before listening to them. I didn't want to hear any more of his lies, and I wanted to be at least calm when I did the procedure.
This morning I decided to drive up to Montesano to spend Thanksgiving with my dad. The plan was originally to spend it here in Seattle with Jose and Ethan, but after everything that has happened; I knew that I needed to be away for a few days. I called my dad and told him of my plans, and he was very welcoming and happy. He said that he had a surprise for me, and I was actually excited about it. For the first time in years, he actually sounded happier than he ever was, and I couldn't wait to find out the source of his happiness.
I had packed my things in the morning so that I could drive up home as soon as I left the clinic. So, almost two hours later, I drive up to my childhood home, and a smile tugs at my lips as I see my dad sitting on the front porch with a cup of coffee in his hands.
"There's my baby girl!" My dad says as I get out of the car. He meets me halfway and engulfs me in one of his signature hugs, bringing out all the emotions I've been trying to fight since last night to the surface.
"What's wrong, Annie?" Dad asks as I start crying against his shoulder.
"Can we go inside?" I ask as I wipe away my tears. "It's a bit chilly out here, and I could kill for one of your hot chocolate cups."
"Of course. I'll go start on it while you grab your things from the car." He says as he studies me over with his eyes. I just smile at him reassuringly before he walks back into the house.
15 minutes later, we're sitting in the living room, him drinking a fresh cup of coffee, and me holding to my cup of hot chocolate for dear life.
"What's going on, baby girl?" Dad asks after a few minutes of silence, making me give out a loud sigh.
"I don't know where to start."
"The beginning is always a good place." He says with a smile, making me smile in turn.
"About three months ago, I started getting hormonal treatment for IUI." I begin, and my dad's eyes are a mixture of shock and confusion.
"Artificial insemination?" He asks, and I just nod at him. "Why would you do that?"
"I want a family." I say with a small shrug, as if that's the simplest explanation in the world.
"I see." Dad says, his face now stoic and emotionless; his usual sign of not wanting his emotion to get the better of him. "Are you pregnant?"
"I don't know." I say and take a deep breath. "I did my final round today. The first two attempts didn't work, and today was my final chance. If it doesn't work out, I have to stop for a few months, to let my body rest before I pick it up again."
"I see." He says again. "What made you decide to go down that route? You're only 25, Annie."
"I know, but it's always been my dream to have a family of my own, and I'm at a point in my life where my personal life and career are both stable enough to take that step."
"What about a partner?" He asks, and I raise my eyebrow at him, making him let out a sigh of frustration. My dad knows where I stand on love and marriage, and he's been as frustrated with me as Jose was, if not even more, about it.
"Oh Annie." He says and looks at me with sympathetic eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you that what your mother did is not the norm in relationships? Neither is what Paul did."
"You and Jose keep saying that, but I can't bring myself to believe it." I say and keep my eyes fixed on the cup in my hands. "Besides, I met someone, and he did exactly the same. It's kind of hard to believe in fidelity and love when you get cheated on twice."
"You met someone?" Dad asks, and I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's not happy that's he's only hearing about it now. "Who is he?"
"His name is Christian Grey." I say, then I go on to explain everything about how I met Christian, from the day I helped Jose out, to the phone call we had last night. I skip over the details that no father wants to hear about his daughter and her ex-boyfriend, but I make sure to let him understand that we haven't been intimate in the full sense of the word.
"Did you at any point mention your plans of starting a family on your own to him?" He asks, making me shake my head at him.
"I wanted to, but it's not something to discuss over the phone. Then he decided that I'm not enough for him, so the point is practically moot anyway."
"So, let me see if I get this right." Dad starts after a long minute of silence. "For the first time since Paul, you let your heart open to someone who repeatedly told you that he would never cheat on you, yet you think he did. Jose and Ethan both think the world of him, and think that what you two shared had the potential of becoming something real and serious. And you, my precious girl, being the stubborn woman you have always been, refused to listen to his messages to hear what he has to say for himself."
"I'm not stubborn!" I say with narrowed eyes, and Dad just smiles at me, as if to silently tell me keep telling yourself that.
"I'm partly to blame for the way you look a love and marriage." Dad says after another minute of silence. "I should have never told you that what your mother did affected me the way it did. There are things that a parent has to keep from their children, and you'll understand that when you become a mother. It's our job as parents to keep our children safe, but as you grew up, you were both a daughter and a friend to me, and I could always talk to you about anything. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret the relationship we have, on the contrary, I love it, and I would never change anything about it, but I regret playing a role in influencing your views on relationships the way I did."
"Dad…" I begin, but he cuts me off.
"No, Annie. Let me finish, please." He says and takes a deep breath. "Yes, what your mother did to me hurt me deeply, and it did make me swear off relationships for the longest time, but I recently realized that your mother wasn't the only reason I've stayed single for as long as I did. I just never found someone who I found interesting enough to pursue a relationship with. Your mother is in love with the idea of being in love, and I don't think she's ever been single since she started dating. Frank was her first relationship ever, and I believe that he was her one true love. The way she lost him so unexpectedly affected her on a deeper level than any of us can ever understand, and perhaps that's why she never settled down with one person. She had already found her true love and he was taken from her. I strongly believe that every person has a soul mate out there, their one true love. Until recently, I thought your mother was mine, even when somehow I knew that I wasn't hers, but I met someone, and I believe that she is my one true love."
I feel my eyes grow wide as saucers at my dad's admission, and my jaw hits the floor.
"I think it's safe to say that Paul was not your soul mate, neither were you his, but there is someone for you out there. Now, I'm not saying that it's Christian, I still don't know how I feel about him, but you can't dismiss the possibility until you hear what he has to say for himself. You didn't give him a chance to explain things, and until you do, you need to keep an open mind."
"I don't want to…" I begin but he cuts me off again.
"You're going to keep wondering and asking yourself questions if you don't. The same happened to me with your mother. For years, I kept wondering and asking myself if I wasn't enough for her, and why I wasn't enough for her. Then I pulled my head out of my ass and called her, demanding answers, simply to give myself closure." He says, and again, he shocks me into silence. "I never met Christian, but I could tell there was something good going on with you whenever we talked over the last couple of weeks. You sounded lighter, happier even, and I'm going to take a wild guess and say it's because of him.
I wish you had told me about your whole plan to start a family before you took that step, but you're an adult, and it's your life. However, I will say this; it's not fair to Christian or to you that you haven't told him about it. I can tell by the way you talk about him that your feelings go deeper than just liking him. You can deny it until you're blue in the face, but I know you baby girl."
I sit in silence, just staring at my dad. Could it be? No. It can't be. I don't believe in love. I can't be in love when I don't believe in it, right?
Deciding that I don't want to think about this now, I smile at my dad and ask him a question that's been bugging me since he started talking.
"So, who is she?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, and he narrows his eyes at me.
"Don't think that I don't know what you're doing, Annie." He says, obviously understanding my avoidance technique, but he lets it go as he begins to tell me about his girlfriend, and his smile could simply light up the room. "Her name is Sandra. She just moved into town a few months ago. She has a daughter who is a few years younger than you are but she lives in New York; I haven't met her yet but I've talked to her over the phone a couple of times."
"When can I meet her?" I ask, excited by the prospect that my father is finally moving on and has found happiness with someone.
"Tomorrow. She's having a Thanksgiving dinner for a few of our friends, including the Rodriguez's. She was so excited when I told her you're coming home for Thanksgiving. She can't wait to meet you."
"Oh, I didn't realize you had plans for tomorrow." I say, unable to hide my disappointment.
"We have plans, you and I." Dad says and moves to sit beside me before he wraps his arm over my shoulder. "I might be in love, but no matter what, you always come first. If you're not up for the company, we can stay home and spend Thanksgiving together, just you and I."
"No, no." I say as I rest my head on his shoulder. "I just don't want to impose."
"You won't be." Dad says and runs his fingers through my hair. We sit in a comfortable silence, and the way his fingers feel against my scalp relaxes me. Before I know it, my eyes are closing, and I fall asleep against my father's chest - my safe haven.
I wake up a few hours later in my childhood bedroom. Dad must've carried me here, and I smile as I realize that he had tucked me under the covers. Just like old times.
When I was younger, I always fell asleep on the couch watching TV, and every night, Dad would carry me up to my room and tuck me in, and I would always wake up the following morning in my room and under my covers.
As I make my way out of my room, I hear my Dad talking to someone, but when I don't hear another voice at home, I realize that he must be on the phone.
"Yes, son. She's here." I hear him say, and I know I shouldn't eavesdrop, but I can't help myself. "Yes, she drove up here this morning." Pause. "She's ok, I think." He says, and I think he's talking to Jose. "I understand." Pause. "Yes." Pause. "She has told me about you."
Huh? Not Jose then.
Who else?
"Yes." Pause. "She told me what happened." Pause. "You don't need to explain things to me, son. You need to be telling her this." I hear my dad say, and I realize he must be talking to Christian.
Why the hell is he talking to Christian?
"I know just how stubborn my daughter can be, son." Pause. "Yes… Yes…" My dad says, pausing between words, obviously hearing out what Christian is saying. "I'll offer you this small piece of advice, son. Give her time. You're not going to be able to get through to her now. She's too stubborn to realize what she has in front of her. Give her a few days." Pause. "Yes, she's spending Thanksgiving here." Pause. "I imagine she would be back in Seattle after the weekend." Pause. "Yes, I'll tell her that." Pause. "Have a happy Thanksgiving too, son."
With that, my father hangs up the phone, and without even turning around to face me, he says, "I know you're there, Annie. It's rude to eavesdrop."
"Who were you talking to?" I ask, feigning ignorance.
"I think you already know the answer to that."
"How did he get your number?"
"He didn't." Dad says and finally turns around to face me, and he looks at me with a small smile on his face. "I called Jose to tell him you're here, because your phone just wouldn't stop ringing. He's with Jose and both were worried sick about you."
"I forgot to tell Jose that I was coming here." I lie, and my dad only raises an eyebrow at me. "Ok, I didn't forget. We had an argument yesterday and I didn't want to talk to him just yet."
"For someone who is so mature, you sure can act like a child sometimes, baby girl." He says with a smile, but my mind goes back to what he said earlier.
"Wait a minute; did you say that Christian is with Jose? He's supposed to be in London! He said he won't be coming back until after Thanksgiving!" I gasp.
Did he lie to me again?
"He wasn't, but you turned off your phone and he had to take matters into his own hands. He flew home this morning." Dad says and sits on his favorite chair. "The poor man. He practically snatched the phone away from Jose when he realized that you were here."
"What did he say?" I ask as I move to sit in front of my father.
"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him, Annie. You need to hear it from him." Dad says and gives me a stern look, one I haven't seen in years. "I will not get involved in your personal matters, baby girl. You're a grown woman and at the end of the day, it's your life. However, I will tell you this, that man is head over heels for you, and if you don't get your head out of your ass soon, you're going to lose someone who could change your life forever."
"But he cheated on me!" I say, feeling my heart break at saying those words.
"Like I said, you need to hear him out. You might feel really stupid after you do, but you still have to hear him out."
"What do you mean?" I ask, and I'm sure my face is an image of confusion.
"Exactly what I said. Now, what are we having for dinner? I miss your cooking, baby girl!" Dad says, effectively changing the subject.
Hearing that, I know my father will not say anything more on the topic, and now my curiosity is eating at me.
I'll feel stupid? What the hell?
"How about lasagna?" I ask after a moment, making my dad's face break out in a huge grin. It's his favorite, and I decide to make a few patches to keep in the freezer for him. I look at the time, and I find that I have enough time to go grocery shopping before dinner.
As I reach for my keys, I decide that my dad is right. I need time, and this weekend will offer me all the time I need. I set my mind to just relax this weekend, and to talk to Christian as soon as I get back. I do a quick check of the groceries available at Dad's home, and make a quick list of what he needs. On my way to the car, I take out my phone and fire a quick text to Christian.
"I promise to talk when I get back to Seattle. I just need some time."
By the time I'm sitting behind the wheel, my phone chimes, indicating an incoming text.
"Of course, just promise to hear me out. Please."
I feel my heart break a little at the pleading tone of his text. Have I affected him that much?
"I promise. Talk to you later."
With that, I put my phone back in my purse and head to the grocery store.
Sunday, Nov. 30th, 2014
The weekend gave me the time I needed. Dad helped me keep my mind off things for a while, but I did take the time to think things over. I had resolved to talk to Christian, to hear him out, even if he was going to tell me lame excuses about why he cheated, but I also decided to tell him about my plan and what I had done, even if we decide to go our separate ways.
The thought alone makes my heart clench in my chest.
I also took the time to think about my dad and his new girlfriend. When I think about Sandra, the first word that comes to my mind is amazing. She is a wonderful woman, who obviously makes my dad very happy. When I met her, it was obvious just how smitten with my dad she is, and vice versa. I've never seen my dad look at anyone quite the way he looks at her, and it somehow reminded me of the way Christian looks at me.
I even wondered if I look at Christian the same way Sandra looks at my dad.
After talking to her, I learned that she was never married, her daughter being the result of a high school romance. Once her boyfriend at the time found out that she was pregnant, he stepped up, but after going to separate collages, things didn't work out between them. However, he still plays a major role in her daughter's life, even when things didn't work out between them.
Even though I only spent a few hours with Sandra and my dad, I could tell just how in love they were, and it made me doubt everything I ever believed in. That threw me for a completely different loop, and I realized it would take me much more pondering to understand fully.
As soon as I step into my apartment, a loud gasp leaves my lungs as my hand flies to cover my mouth. The entire living room is filled with flower arrangements: roses of different colors, daffodils, carnations, callas, gardenias, lilies, orchids, and even tulips. The apartment smells like a garden, and I can't help but feel tears prick at the back of my eyes.
Oh Christian.
He must've had help from Jose. How could he have gotten the flowers inside otherwise? Before I give myself a chance to change my mind, I quickly pull out my phone and dial his number.
"Anastasia…" He breathes my name as soon as he picks up, and I can't help the smile that tugs at my lips.
I'm supposed to be angry with him, damn it!
"I love the flowers." I say by means of hello.
"You're back?"
"Just got in."
"Can I come over? I need to explain things." He says, and for a second, I hesitate.
"You promised to hear me out." He points out, and I let out a small sigh.
"Yes, I did." I say as I walk further into the apartment. I let my fingers gently run over one of the flower arrangements, the gardenias. "I'll hear you out, but I will not promise anything."
"That's all I ask, baby." He says and lets out a breath of relief. "I'll be there in 5 minutes."
Before I have the chance to say anything else, he hangs up. I look around my living room that has magically turned into a flower garden over the weekend, and I quickly check if any of the flowers need a change of water or attention, only to realize that they all have fresh water and the plants have been watered recently.
I barely have time to put my small bag in my bedroom before I hear a knock on my front door, and I take a deep breath before I open it, only to have my breath catch in my throat at the sight in front of me.
Christian looks miserable. It's like he hasn't slept in days. He has bags under his eyes, and he has a beard growing on his face, one that actually looks nice.
"Come in." I say and move to the side, giving him room to walk inside.
"Thank you." He says and stands awkwardly in the middle of my living room, although I have to admit that he does look nice among the flowers.
"It was my mother's voice you heard over the phone the other day." He blurts out, making me freeze mid-step.
Straight to the point.
Wait, what? His mother?
"Excuse me?" I ask, not knowing if I should believe him or if he's telling me another lie just to get out of the hole he dug himself.
"My mother." He says and runs his hand through his unkempt hair. "She flew out to London when she found out that I wouldn't be coming back for Thanksgiving. She wanted to surprise me, and she called me when I was in the middle of my business dinner. I took her out for drinks, and we started talking and quite frankly, we lost track of time until you called."
"Oh." I say, not knowing what else to say.
"You have to believe me, Ana." Christian says and looks at me with pleading eyes. "We lost track of time because I was telling her about you. I couldn't stop talking about you and how happy you make me. I've never had such an open and honest conversation with my mother before, and it was like we were taking advantage of the opportunity. I swear I would've called if I had realized how much time had passed, but I didn't."
Dad did say that I would feel stupid once I heard him out, and that's exactly how I feel now.
Damn it!
"Oh my God." I groan and hide my face behind my hands. "I'm so stupid."
"No, baby. Don't say that." Christian says and I hear him moving around, but I only feel him in front of me when he grabs my hands and pulls them away from my face. "I would've reacted the same way if I were in your shoes, especially with your history with the asshole."
"I'm sorry." I say and look at him, pleading with him with my eyes to forgive me.
"It's ok." He says, and I can't help but reach my hand up and run it against his beard. "I need to shave."
"I like it." I say, and he raises an amused eyebrow at me. "You look like you haven't slept in days."
"I haven't." He says with a small shrug, and my eyes grow at his admission. "I couldn't sleep, thinking that I have lost you."
"Oh, Christian!" I gasp, and before I say anything else, I feel his hand grab the back of my neck, and then he pulls me in for a passionate kiss. I can feel him pour all his emotions and feelings into that one kiss, and I can't help but whimper as he pulls my body flush against his, allowing his tongue to sneak into my mouth.
Our tongues battle for dominance as he kisses my doubts away, and I reach out to run my fingers through his hair. I tug at his hair as he deepens the kiss, and next thing I know, he's reaching for the buttons of my shirt.
My mind and body go through a battle of wanting to stop him because I know we need to talk, and craving his touch too much to stop him. In that moment, I realize that I need him just like I need my next breath, but I promised myself to tell him everything, and tell him everything I will.
"Christian, wait." I say and pull away from his kiss, only to have his lips attach to my neck, making me let out a soft moan. "We still need to talk. I need to tell you something."
"Later." Is the only response I get from Christian as he showers my neck with open-mouthed kisses. I'm beginning to feel my resolve disappear, but I gently push him again one more time.
"Baby, we really need to… aah… talk." I say, not able to hold back the moan that escapes mid-sentence.
Damn it, he's really good with that mouth of his. I wonder how it would feel to have his mouth against…
Focus, Ana!
"We will talk, Ana, but right now, I need you." Christian says as he pulls away to look deep into my eyes. "I want you, I need you."
The intensity in his eyes makes all rational thought fly out the window, and I only nod at him. Next thing I know, our clothes are flying as we make our way to the bedroom, and by the time we reach it, Christian is only in boxers and I'm in my bra and panties.
"God, you're beautiful." He says as he runs his fingers against my flesh, and I feel my body break out in goosebumps at his touch. I want to touch him, but I hold myself back, remembering what he told me on our first date.
I've only ever touched him over the fabric of his shirt.
"Touch me." He says, his voice barely coming out in a whisper.
"Christian…"
"Touch me, Ana. Please." He pleads with me, and I feel my hand shake as I slowly bring it up to his chest. I notice the small circular scars scattered over his chest, and just before my palm touches his skin, I stop.
I don't want to hurt him.
Suddenly, he holds my hand and places my open palm against his chest. He takes in a sharp breath as he does so, and I try to pull my hand back, but he keeps holding it against the strong muscles of his chest.
"Christian…" I say, worried because his eyes are closed shut, and I can feel his whole body tense underneath my touch.
"It doesn't hurt." He says and opens his eyes, and he looks at me with a mixture of emotions that I can't tell where one begins and the other ends. "It doesn't hurt."
Hearing that, I let out a small sigh, and I bring up my other hand and rest it next to the first. I then run my hands up and down his chest, and I feel his breathing become more labored with each touch. Before I realize what is going on, I'm stark naked and lying flat on my bed, with Christian, who is now equally naked, hovering over me. His lips attack my neck again, and I throw my head back at the sensation.
Definitely a neck girl.
"God you're beautiful." He whispers again before his hand rests on the swell of my breast, and I can't help but throw my head back and close my eyes at the sensation that one touch brings me.
My whole body feels on fire as Christian's lips latch to one of my hardened nipples, and I can barely recognize the voice that leaves me as his fingers brush against my moist folds. My back arches as he sinks one, then two fingers inside me, all while keeping his other hand of my left breast and his lips on my right.
For long minutes, he tortures me with his fingers and lips, alternating between a quick and a slow pace, and brushing his thumb over my nub between the thrusts of his hand.
I barely register that his lips are no longer on my breast as the all too familiar tingling begins to gather at the pit of my stomach. I feel his breath against my ear before he gently takes my lobe between his teeth and gives it a soft bite, and when his husky voice commands me to let go just as he curls his fingers and brushes against that spot, I have no choice but to oblige, and I see fireworks erupt behind my closed eyelids.
My chest is heaving as I try to catch my breath after the wonderful orgasm he just game me, but something tells me that I won't be able to have a single minute to rest, as he kisses his way from my neck all the way down to where his fingers are still nestled inside me.
I can feel his lips and fingers on every inch of my skins, and his name falls off my lips in a loud moan when his tongue darts and licks me. I can feel his own moans vibrating against my sensitive skin as he continues his ministrations with his torturous tongue, and it doesn't take him long to bring me back to the brink of another orgasm. As he feels me nearing that glorious edge, he pulls his face away, and before I can voice my disappointment, he sinks himself inside me pushing me to my climax with a scream.
"Look at me." He says, and I as I open my eyes, I realize that he hasn't moved from his spot above me. The amount of emotions I see in his gray orbs threaten to overwhelm me, and I lift my head to kiss him to stop the tears that gathered in the back of my eyes from spilling out.
I feel him slide out of me slowly as our tongues battle for dominance in a heated kiss, but he doesn't pick up the pace to mirror the urgency we both fee. The need to breathe eventually forces us to end our kiss, but his lips quickly find their way to my neck again as I wrap my arms around him, needing to feel him close; closer.
For what seems like hours, he keeps a slow pace, making love to me rather than simply fucking me. He murmurs words of affection into my ear, and I find that I can't stop the tears from flowing. The emotions I'm feeling are overwhelming me. I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest, and with each thrust of his hips, I feel my heart swell even more.
Is this what love feels like?
"Sssh…" he soothes me as he pulls his head up to look at me. He runs his fingers over my cheek, wiping away my tears in the process, before he places soft kisses at the corners of my eyes, all the while keeping the gentle pace of his love-making. "It'll be ok, baby. I promise."
"Please, Christian." I find myself begging without even knowing what it is I am begging for.
"Tell me what you want."
"You." I say as my breath hitches, feeling my release closing in on me. "I need you."
"You have me." He whispers as he swirls his hips, making mine buck up against him. "You'll always have me."
No more words are said as he continues his delicious torture of my body, and soon, both of us are clutching to each other as waves of pleasure wash over us.
For long minutes, we just lay there next to each other, not uttering a single word as we let the pleasure consume us. After a while, I feel his body relaxing against mine, and his breath evening out, and as I look at him, I find that he has fallen asleep.
I snuggle up against him, wrapping my arm around his waist as I rest my head on his chest, and before I even know it, sleep claims me as well.
I wake up a few hours later because my bladder decided to make its presence known, and I find Christian still sound asleep beside me. I untangle myself from his arms and quickly make my way to the bathroom to relieve myself. Once I make my way back to my bedroom, I look at Christian's peaceful form, and it hits me that this might be the last time I see him like this.
I don't know how he will react when I tell him, but I have to. I will not deceive him more.
Realizing that my mind won't let me go back to sleep, I go to the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea. Just as I sit at the kitchen counter to drink my tea, I hear Christian coming out of the bedroom.
"Why are you up?" He asks as he stands there in only his boxers.
"I couldn't go back to sleep." I say, suddenly finding my tea interesting and not taking my eyes off the cup.
"Is everything ok?" He asks, still standing by the kitchen door. "Do you regret what we did?"
"No!" I say as my head snaps up to look at him, and I see his body visibly relax. "I loved what we shared, Christian. It touched me on levels I can't even begin to identify."
"Then what's wrong?" He asks as he takes a step closer to me. I look at him for the longest time, not really knowing how to broach the subject.
Rip it off like a band-aid.
"I might be pregnant." I say, and after a long minute of silence, I hear Christian let out a small chuckle.
"I don't know much about biology, but I'm pretty sure things don't work that fast, baby." Christian says, making me take a deep breath, and then I notice him freeze. "We didn't use protection!"
"That's not what I meant." I say and look back at my tea.
"What do you mean?" He asks, his tone taking a dangerous edge.
"I don't know how to explain it." I say, but before I can say anything else, I hear Christian slam his hand against the kitchen counter, making me flinch and look at him in surprise.
"You better find a way to explain it, Anastasia, because to me, it sounds like you're going to tell me that you cheated on me!"
"What? No!" I gasp, then I realize how it must have sounded to him. "No, I didn't cheat. I would never cheat on you. Please, sit down and hear me out."
He looks at me for a long second before he does take a seat across of me, and I take another deep breath.
"I told you on our first date how I don't believe in love and marriage. I've been like this since I can remember. However, what I didn't tell you, is that I've always wanted a family. I've always wanted to become a mother. When I turned 22, my mother had informed me that she had gotten married for the 6th time, and I had just broken up with Paul. That's when I decided that I will not rely on finding someone to make my dream of becoming a mother come true. I set a goal that when I turn 25, I will go through artificial insemination, or IUI, to get pregnant." I say, only pausing to take a deep breath. "I had my first round back in September, but it failed. The day we met was the day I received a negative pregnancy test after my second round. The doctor then told me that I have one last chance before I had to give up for a few months, to let my body rest before I picked it up again. I had my final round last Wednesday."
Christian sits in complete silence as he listens to me, and I can actually see it on his face as he realizes what I just told him.
"Say something." I beg when more than 5 minutes go on in complete silence, and he's not letting any emotion show on his now stoic face.
"I need to go." He finally says and gets up from his seat, making me jump up after him.
"Christian, please." I beg again, but I don't know what else to say.
"I need to go." He says again and makes his way back to my room, picking up his discarded clothes on the way. I follow him, but by the way he quickly gets dresses, I know that he doesn't want to hear anything I have to say.
"Is this it?" I finally ask as he passes by my on his way out of my room. "Are we over?"
Christian stops in his tracks, but doesn't turn around to look at me.
"I don't know." He finally says, and I feel my heart break at his words. "You just threw a curveball at me, Anastasia. You can't expect me to give you a proper reaction now."
"But…"
"I'll call you." He cuts me off and goes to the front door with me closely following behind him. He reaches for the handle, but before he opens the door, he gives me one final look over his shoulder, and with that simple look, I realize that I have done what I never imagined would happen to me.
I have fallen in love with him, and I feel my heart break into a million pieces as he leaves my apartment.
A/N: Two chapters in one day! I wanted to post this now since I won't be updating until next week, and I won't have much time to write this week. I do have chapter 8 ready, and going forward from there is going to be easier, I hope.
This is a longer chapter than usual. I could've ended it half-way through, but I didn't want to drag the whole Ana/Christian resolution for another chapter/another week. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for the follows, favorites, and reviews.
