I AM SO SO SORRY THAT THIS CHAPTER IS LATE! (And it's like three weeks late; that's a bad sign...) I've been pretty busy as of late, and I'm losing my motivation for some of my fics because I'm getting wrapped up in work for a bigger one. I need to finish this story before I transfer over all my motivation.

Enjoy!


Wiping the spray of water from his brow, Simon finished hosing off the washing machine. "Did you get the smoke alarm yet?" he called up to Lincoln, who was balanced precariously on the railing above the foyer.

Lincoln snapped the cover back into place, then climbed down. "Yup. Thank God that's over with. It's a shame about the pillow, though."

Simon put a hand to his heart, which happened to be the hand holding the hose, which he had neglected to turn off. "Yes. Its death was indeed tragic. Now, can we get dinner?"

Lincoln leaned over the railing, looking down at Simon. "Yeah, but turn off the hose first."

Simon looked down at his shirt, which was now sopping wet. "Oh." He dropped the hose, walked to the nozzle, and turned it off. "I was wondering why my shirt felt so cold."

Lincoln straightened up and started to walk into the kitchen. "So, is there anything in particular that you want?"

Simon shrugged, ascending the stairs.

Lincoln turned around. "What was that?"

Simon shrugged again.

Lincoln said, "You know, I can't hear you when you shrug. You gotta use your words."

"Or I could shrug louder."

"Good luck with that."

Simon promptly began trying to shrug loudly.


Lola struggled with the knots holding Sam to the chair before finally giving up. "Ugh. Lana, can you get me the saw?"

Lana snapped to attention. "On it." She strode through the door.

Sam became concerned. "The saw?"

"Yes, the saw. I can't get this stupid knot undone, so I'm gonna saw through it."

"Why don't you use scissors to just cut the string?"

Lola looked at Sam, baffled. "But you can't get off the string if it's still got a knot in it!"

Sam attempted to facepalm but was stopped by the string. She sighed and shrugged instead. The strings loosened up, and she easily slipped out of them.

Lola stared at her. "I really need to work on my knot-tying."

Lana returned, holding a hacksaw. "Maybe if you hadn't gotten the both of us kicked out of Bluebell Scouts, you'd know how to tie knots!"

Lola clenched her fists. "That's as much your fault as it is mine!"

"Yeah, but you admit it! It's somewhat your fault! Which means you're to blame!"

Sam stood up and positioned herself between the feuding twins. "Hey, hey, hey. Calm down, guys. Uh, how about we get some dinner?"

Both Lola and Lana's faces brightened. "Sure!" they responded simultaneously.

Sam said, "I'd better tell the others." She walked out of the room and narrowly avoided crashing into Lisa, who was holding a test tube full of some fizzing concoction with tongs.

Lisa yelled, "Hey! Pay attention to your surroundings! I could very well have poured this volatile compound all over your garments, and they would have disintegrated! You do not want to tamper with the forces of science while unprotected!"

Sam said, "I assume you're not interested in getting dinner, then?"

Lisa's eyebrows raised. "I may consider the acquisition of nutrition to be merely a secondary goal, but if I were to neglect it entirely, I would be rendered unable to pursue my scientific endeavours. Please, do inform me as to what sort of meal you were considering."

Sam frowned. "Uh, English, please?"

Lisa sighed. "You foolish adolescents. Youth is indeed wasted on the young."

Lucy said, "I think she means that she does want food, but she said something about it not being as important as science. She wants to know what you were going to make."

Sam jumped, nearly bumping into Lisa, who had seen Lucy approaching.

Lisa exclaimed, "Please do utilise the proper precautions around volatile chemicals!"

Sam sighed. "Lucy, are you hungry?"

"I could eat."

"Okay, then I'm gonna see what's in the fridge." Sam walked downstairs.


Pop-Pop, Lori, and the rest of the older Loud sisters rounded yet another corner, then stopped just before a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change.

Luan took the opportunity to lean against a lamppost and catch a quick breath. "This has been a long walk," she remarked.

The light turned green. Lori snapped to attention and immediately led the girls and their grandfather across the crosswalk.

Luan rose to her feet slowly and followed behind half-heartedly.

Lori said, "Come on, Luan! Pick up the pace! There's no time to waste! We have to find a place to eat!"

Luan begrudgingly hurried her steps. "Make that forced march," she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"I thought so. All right, keep on the lookout. Tell me when you see a place to eat."

Leni asked, "Why don't you just look on the internet for a place?"

Lori replied, "Because then we may literally have to leave our route to the playhouse. We don't have time for that."

"I thought we had plenty of time," inquired Lynn.

Lori didn't respond.

Luna pointed. "Hey, look, it's the Hard Rock Café! Let's eat there!"

Lori turned and saw a giant neon guitar protruding from a storefront. "All right, that's fine by me. What do the rest of you think?"

Leni furrowed her brow. "I don't wanna eat in a place where all they serve is rocks!"

Lori sighed. "They serve actual food there, Leni."

"Not just rocks? That's totes great, then!"

Lori asked, "Pop-Pop? Is that okay with you?"

Pop-Pop replied, "Yeah, sure! I haven't been in one in a while!"

"How about you, Luan?"

Luan said, "I think that would ROCK!"

"Okay. Lynn?"

Lynn replied, "Sure."

Lori turned towards the restaurant. "Then let's go."


Lincoln pulled out two cups of microwaveable mac 'n' cheese from the cabinet. "Okay, I think I remember how to make those."

Simon picked one up and observed the printing on it. "There's instructions on the side."

Lincoln nodded. "Gotcha. Step one: fill cup to line with water." He tore off the plastic cover and looked inside the cup. "I don't see any line."

Simon replied, "Maybe they mean to fill it to the top."

Lincoln shrugged. "I'll give it a go."

Lincoln stuck the cup under the faucet and filled it with water until just below the rim of the cup. He removed it and set it on the counter, turning off the faucet in the process.

"All right," Lincoln said, bending over so that he could read the writing on the cup. "Step two: microwave on HIGH for... oh wait." Lincoln pulled a soggy paper bag out of the cup. "I forgot to take out the cheese powder."

Simon grimaced. "Ew."

Lincoln carefully set the packet on the counter. "O-kay, this can be my cup, then."

Simon said, "If you really want it, you can have it."

Lincoln continued to read the directions: "Step two: microwave on HIGH for 3:30."

Simon looked at the clock; it read 5:10 pm. "What do you do if it's not that time?"

Lincoln sighed. "No, I need to microwave it for three minutes and thirty seconds."

Simon nodded. "Oh. I get it."

Lincoln opened up the microwave door, cautiously picked up the cup, and placed it inside the microwave. He set the timer and turned on the microwave.

"All right, now while we wait, we can get started on your cup. And maybe we should turn on the lights; it's kind of dark in here."

Simon tore off the lid of his cup and removed the cheese packet while Lincoln switched on the lights.

Simon exclaimed, "I see the line!"

Lincoln rushed over. Sure enough, there was a faint line marked in the inside of the cup with print above it which read, "DO NOT FILL ABOVE LINE".

Lincoln and Simon exchanged looks.

"Whoops." Lincoln smiled hokily.

Simon shrugged. "I'll do this one."

He filled the cup with water and placed it on the counter underneath the microwave. Once the microwave sounded, he removed Lincoln's cup, placed it on the counter, then inserted his own and started the microwave. "Careful, it's hot," he warned.

Lincoln carefully tore open the packet of cheese powder, which had now liquefied due to being saturated with water. "Ew." He dumped it out over the cooked yet waterlogged macaroni and stirred it with a spoon. "I doubt this will taste good."

Simon said, "You don't have to eat it, you know."

"And let it go to waste? No, I'm not doing that!"

Simon shrugged. "Your call."


Sam looked through the fridge to see what she could possibly throw together for both herself and the four girls, who were now gathered around the kitchen table. She muttered to herself all the while. "Okay... here's some deli ham... and a hunk of cheddar cheese... let's see if there's bread anywhere."

Sam peered through the pantry and found a bag of grinder rolls. "This'll do."

She removed the bag from the pantry and set it on the counter. She said to Lucy, Lola, Lana, and Lisa, "Okay, tonight, we're gonna have ham-and-cheese grinders. Get yourselves some plates."

Lola obediently stood up, walked to the cupboard, and failed to reach the door. "I can't get them!" she complained.

Lisa spoke up. "You have not reached a sufficient vertical stature such as is necessary to acquire the plates without physical assistance."

Sam paused, then spoke up. "Wait. You mean she's not tall enough?"

"Indubitably."

"Could you please actually speak English?"

"I am."

Lucy walked over to the cabinet and, with some difficulty, managed to grab five plates.

"Could you speak normal-person English?"

Lisa grimaced. "And potentially risk decreasing my intellect?"

Lucy retrieved four grinder rolls from the counter and set one on each plate. She then opened the refrigerator door to fetch the ham and cheese.

"Talking normally never killed any brain cells."

Lisa raised an eyebrow. "Do you possess scientific proof?"

"No, but..."

"To be frank, your claim would constitute a most fascinating study."

Sam nodded. "I... I guess I'm glad I'm contributing to science."

Lucy laid ham and cheese onto each grinder roll.

"I will accredit you in my research paper if you so desire."

"Uh, yeah, okay, thanks."

Lucy took a knife from another drawer.

"Would you like to participate in or oversee the study?"

Sam shook her head. "You do you. I got enough to worry about with physics labs."

Lucy asked, "Sam, do you want one and a half grinders?"

Everybody jumped.

Sam looked at how Lucy had prepared four sandwiches. "Uh, thanks so much for getting all that ready! And..." Sam performed a quick mental calculation. "...Yeah, that'll be fine."

Lucy nodded and started trying to saw one grinder in half.

Sam stood up. "Here, let me do that." She took the knife and cut cleanly through two of the grinders, putting a half of each one onto its own plate. She put one whole grinder on its own plate and put the other on a plate with a half grinder.

Sam asked, "Why did you start getting everything ready?"

"Because I was hungry and you were taking too long."

Sam nodded, then passed out the plates. "You sure you'll eat a whole grinder?"

"Probably."

Lana shouted, "Hey! Lola's grinder is bigger than mine!"

Lola replied, "No it's not! Yours is bigger!"

Sam held out her hands, saying, "Hey, hey, hey! Chill, guys!"

Lisa raised her hand. "I propose a solution. Lana ought to bisect Lola's grinder half, and Lola should then select which half she desires. Then, they could-"

Sam said, "Shut up. This is my problem to solve." She turned to the feuding twins. "Guys?"

They looked up at her.

"You get what you get and you don't get upset, got that?"

The twins nodded.

"And if I hear another peep out of either of you that you're not happy with your sandwich, you don't get to eat your sandwich. Got that?"

The twins nodded.

Sam smiled. "All right. Dig in, guys."


At long last, a waiter arrived at Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Pop-Pop's table to take their order. "Good evening, folks. My name is Justin and I'll be your server this evening. What would you all like to eat?"

Lori said, "I'd like a burger, please."

Leni said, "I'll take the burger, too. Hold the rocks."

Justin frowned. "Miss, we don't actu-"

Luna interrupted him. "Don't worry 'bout it. I'mma have a burger, too. It better be rocking!"

Justin said, "Like I was going to say, we-"

Luan said, "I would like a burger. And a glass of water, on the ROCKS!" She laughed.

Justin groaned in exasperation. "How about you, sir?"

Pop-Pop said, "I'd also like a burger."

Lynn said, "Me too."

Justin scribbled on his notepad. "All right, so that's six burgers. Now, what-"

Luna flipped through the menu quickly. "Nah, hold on. I'd like the chicken parm instead."

Justin nodded. "That's fine. So, that's five burgers and-"

"Wait, they have chicken parm? Actually, I want that!" exclaimed Lori.

"Okay, four burgers, two-"

Leni interrupted Justin. "Chicken parm? I thought the menu said 'chicken prom'. That explains a lot. Will it still be served in a tux?"

"No, miss, it won't. What do-"

Leni continued, "That's fine. I don't like dressing on chicken. I'll take the chicken parm."

"Yeah, me too," added Lynn and Pop-Pop.

Justin appeared very flustered. "So, then, that's five chi-"

"Actually, I think I'll take that instead of the burger, too. I'm not CHICKEN, but I'm brave enough to eat it!" giggled Luan.

Justin sighed. "Six chicken parmesans. Now, how about dr-"

Pop-Pop asked, "Chicken parm? I thought you said chicken cordon bleu! No, I'm not having that." He flipped through the menu. "I'll take the meatball sub."

"Ooh, sounds pretty good! I'mma going with that, then, dude!" said Luna.

Luan quipped, "I'll give one a try. I certainly hope it's not SUB-par!"

"Meatball sub? Hecking YES! I'll take one!" exclaimed Lynn.

Lori looked at Lynn. "You eat meatball subs all the time. Are you sure you want another one?"

Lynn frowned, then nodded thoughtfully. "I guess you're right. Never mind, then. I'm going with the pepperoni pizza slice."

Leni asked, "They have pepperoni pizza? Oh, nice! I never get to have more than one slice!" She turned to Justin, who was gritting his teeth and tapping his pencil against his notebook impatiently. "I'll take a single slice!"

Lori shrugged. "Yeah, what the heck, I'll take that."

Pop-Pop said, "I'll have what she's having."

Lori then frowned. "Wait, what am I thinking? Pepperoni only bolsters my flatulence problem... the one that I don't have!" she finished with an uneasy smile.

"Yeah, sure you don't have one," commented Luan snarkily.

Lori flipped through the menu. "Justin, I'll take the tortellini, if that's not too much of a problem for you."

Justin repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fists. "It's not," he said through gritted teeth.

Pop-Pop said, "Oh, that sounds good! I'll take the rigatoni, too!"

"You mean tortellini?" asked Luna.

"I meant what I said."

Justin interrupted them all. "What would you all like to drink?"

Luan replied, "I already said, water on the rocks."

Leni grimaced. "You're going to DRINK rocks? Eww! And I thought eating them was bad!"

Luna said, "I'll take a diet coke."

Pop-Pop said, "Just water for me, please."

Lynn inquired, "Do you have Gatorade?"

Justin replied, "No. We have Powerade, though."

"All right. The knockoff is good enough for me."

Luan said, "Yeah, I think I'll have Powerade instead."

Justin ripped off another sheet of paper from his notebook, crumpled it up, and shoved it into his apron.

Luna said, "What was I thinking? Diet Coke goes terribly with meatball subs! I'll take the diet Pepsi instead."

Lori said, "Diet Pepsi is literally disgusting!"

"Dude, it's Mick's go-to second favourite drink!"

Leni said, "I just want water, with ice, no rocks."

Luan said, "Actually, hold on, can I get a burger instead?"

Justin finally lost his patience. "All right, that's six burgers and six waters! Your food will be here in about twenty minutes. Have a nice evening." He stormed away.

Leni watched him leave. "Gee, why do you think he was so upset?"


In case any of you want to berate me for my use of "hokily", it's the correct adverb form of "hokey".

See you next week! I hope!