Chapter 7 – The Past
"You can't repeat the past" – Nick Carraway, The Great Gatsby
"So I have to know. How did you and Rose go from being in a relationship to possibly being engaged to whatever you call whatever you're doing now?" I asked as we drove to the campus.
"That is a story best suited for another day." He tried to wave me off but I wanted to know. Living around my brother, I guess I assumed some of his romantic notions would rub off on Emmett and make him see the joys that come with being in a relationship.
"You really want to know?" He asked after a few minutes of me pouting.
I nodded and turned in my seat to look at him. He sighed and got a faraway look in his eyes as he recalled just how things went from good to bad.
"Rosalie and I had been together for quite some time now. I met her parents and saw that she was very much like her mother. Her father was a man who felt that security and love were one in the same and could be bought for the right price. My mother on the other hand, didn't immediately like her. She felt like Rose was too city for a country boy like me. When she mentioned having a wedding at our family farm, I swear she cringed. But my mother like that Rose made me happy. So when I told my mother I wanted to marry her and asked for my grandmother's ring, she asked me to take some time and ensure that it was what I wanted. I swear that ring must have burned a hole in all of my pants pockets. So on the night of our three year anniversary, I decided it was the perfect time to ask her to spend forever with me. Although we had just moved in together, I was ready to make a giant leap and make the move thing more permanent.
"I unlocked the door and walked in to our place. All the lights were out save for the ones in the second bedroom. I figured she was just unpacking or something. I had no idea what I was walking into until the door opened. And there she was completely naked and riding my frat brother Paul while my other frat brother, Riley, pumped himself into her mouth. I have no idea how long I stood there just waiting for one of them to notice me. Only when Riley finished did he clear his throat. There was no shame or desire to cover up with either of them. She turned and shrieked before stating, 'Emmett, you're home early. I, uh…we need to talk.' I charged in there and started throwing punches. She kept calling out to me to stop but I wanted them to hurt as much as I did in that moment. Eventually she managed to pull me off them and forced me out of the room. I walked outside and punched the brick wall until my knuckles bled.
"She came out a few minutes later and we had it out right there on the lawn. She tried to turn it around on me, stating that I couldn't keep her pleased and satisfied. I was the one who forced her to seek sexual release elsewhere. Because I allowed my emotions and my feelings for her to blind me to what she truly needed when it came to the bedroom.
"So I set out to prove to her that I could be what she wanted. I was willing to forgive her indiscretion and marry her if she would be willing to teach me to pleasure her. But she stated it wasn't something I could learn. That it was something I needed to be, to feel and experience in the heat of the moment. I got down on one knee and threw a Hail Mary: I proposed.
"It broke my heart when she said no. I knew there was nothing I could do to change her mind so I set out to become exactly what she wanted. I changed everything about myself and turned into an exact copy of the assholes she cheated on me with. When she saw me, I knew I had her hooked. I treated her exactly the way she wanted to be treated and when it came to the sex, I knew that I surprised her. As I was dressing to go, she state that this was what she wanted with me all along. 'We should continue our relationship like this. No feelings or pesky emotions getting in the way. Just fucking.' I wanted to give her a reason why it wouldn't work but she was right. And the more we fucked, the better our relationship appeared to be.
"I thought that if I gave her what she wanted, she would eventually want to be married. But as time went on, I realized that I liked who I became. Rose had it right. Feelings and emotions just get in the way of a good time. It was something my father apparently knew and now it's a lesson that I use to live my life. All girls say they want the nice guy but in reality, they want the asshole. The one who will fuck their brains out and call them only when they want to do it again. Everything else is just unnecessary drama. And anyone who says otherwise is just fooling themselves."
"So you don't think that you'll ever go back to the way you were. This is who you are content with being?" Bella asked me.
I turned and looked at her, realizing what she meant. "This is who I am Bella. I'm not the nice guy."
She shook her head and mumbled something. When I asked her to repeat it, she scoffed and hopped out of the jeep. "Love has made you cynical Emmett. And at the end of the day, you'll see that I was right. It's better to be the nice guy than the asshole. Nice guys may not always finish last but they always get the girl."
