After the Tournament Volume 1 chapter 7
Author's Note: As with the previous chapter, this is dedicated to my deceased second cousin Cory.
Myrves did not sleep for long that night; she had a nightmare about what Tanlev's death must have been like and she woke up, once again crying. She blinked and then got up after a few moments. She decided to get up and refill her cup with water, heading to the mess hall to do so and being as quiet as possible, carefully carrying the candle from her room after relighting it so she could see where she was going. She didn't realize that Raven was still awake and that he was following her until she got to said mess hall and filled her cup using water from a jug and looked behind her to see him.
"Hey." Myrves was trying to act like she hadn't been terrified by the nightmare. "I was just thirsty; that's why I'm up."
Raven knew she was omitting the real reason why she was awake. "Are you sure there is not another reason you are awake at this hour, young warrior?" he asked.
"Yes being thirsty is not the only reason I am awake." Myrves had wanted to lie but knew that was pointless so had stopped herself just in time. She was sure she was going to cry again. I can't cry in front of my mentor, she thought.
"Myrves, avoiding what is troubling you is not a way of solving it whether it is ignoring feelings or another crisis." The warlord said to her. "Come."
Following Raven, Myrves held her cup of water in one hand and the candle in the other as they walked down the hall into the library. The teenager knew she would not be able to get back to sleep on her own and maybe it was for the best she was going to talk with her mentor now. When they were in the library, Myrves sat on an armchair near the bookshelves her assigned reading pieces were stored on and set the candle down on a nearby table before taking a sip of water.
Raven sat in another chair next to the young champion. He could sense that she was trying to not shed any tears despite her grief and it was heartbreaking she didn't feel she could show her emotions right now; it was one of those times when it was okay for someone to do so.
"I miss my cousin Tanlev even though I didn't know him well." Myrves finally said. She also explained what she had seen in her nightmare: Tanlev's coworkers trying to help him in vain and the realization by medical personnel that there was nothing one could do for him. "Those were the details in the letter I was sent explaining what happened and I know I should not be missing Tanlev since I didn't know him that well but it still hurts because he's family and I regret not getting to know him better while he was alive. And he was only in his early twenties and had just gotten married." Despite her best efforts, the American warrior had a few tears falling from her eyes. "I didn't want to talk about it earlier since I didn't want to be seen crying and I didn't want to be thought of as weak for showing my emotions."
Raven gave Myrves a cloth to wipe the tears off her face and put his hand on her right shoulder. "You are not weak for needing time to grieve your loss, my young friend." He assured her.
That was what Myrves had needed to hear to convince her to not fight the tears anymore; she sat there and cried while Raven remained by her side, not saying anything as he kept her company. It felt good to let it out like this even though she would not feel okay for who knew how long.
About 15 minutes later, Myrves had stopped crying and was able to sip some more water. "Thank you Raven for just listening and keeping me company. That was really what I wanted even though I tried to deny it." She said to him.
"You are welcome Myrves." Raven knew that this had been needed by the young champion. One could only hope she didn't have any more nightmares.
"I might be able to sleep now but I don't know how long it will take for me to get back to my normal self." She said as she sipped some more water from her cup.
"Even if it does take a long time, your fellows and I will be there for you, young warrior. I can promise you that much." Raven assured her.
"Thank you again Raven; I hope you have a good night." Myrves got up and left the library, returning to her quarters with the two things she was carrying. She set the candle down on her bedside table and blew it out before setting her cup down near it and laying back down on the bed. She had fallen back asleep shortly after putting her blankets back over herself. She was not okay; she wasn't sure when she would be able to say that she was okay but at least she would not be alone in dealing with her grief.
Raven made a note to allow Myrves a longer break the next day since she was clearly still not in a state to focus on a lot of training since she had barely been able to do it during today. She will find a reason to be happy again someday and she will learn to continue to live despite her loss, he reminded himself as he retired to his own quarters. It was rare for him to step out of the role as teacher and be like a parent but he had done that before with the older champions when necessary. He had been there for all of his fledglings numerous times and would continue to be there when they needed him in the future even if it was not always obvious that he did care.
