A/N - I try to make them shorter... but it just gets longer. Lesigh... I don't know why!


Klaus was going to rip them from limb to limb, inflict such pain that it would make them forget their own names and all the while he would watch them writhe in agony laughing maniacally like one of those cheesy Hollywood movies.

Daggering them again just wasn't enough.

But Caroline forbids it. Her exact words are 'Do anything, just don't hurt them'

He of course interprets that to mean only physical hurt.

This is why he's standing by his car watching the entrance of a fancy restaurant with a gleeful smirk on his face, while Caroline adamantly sits inside the car extremely suspicious of the hybrids motives.

His intentions become clear a few minutes later, when she sees a car pull up to the restaurant and from it emerges a slightly nervous Rebekah with Steve – the human she's been secretly dating for months – though of course nothing remains a secret in this family. She understands Klaus's boyish happiness when her eyes land on Steve, the usually charming and classy surgeon was currently wearing pink pants and a sequenced silk silver shirt.

Caroline had new found respect for Rebekah at the sight, if someone had picked her up in that... she would have run away in a jiffy.

It only got worse from there, when halfway through their dinner Steve sprung onto the table and proudly declared that he was as gay as they came and that he wanted to have Matt Bomber's babies.

Klaus burst into riotous laughter, buckling over the sides of the car and even Caroline couldn't control the small smile that crept up her face... that is, before she had to stop Rebekah from decapitating her brother.

As if to punish Klaus, Caroline spitefully commented that she too wanted to have Matt Bomber's babies.

That effectively put Klaus back in a sour mood.

With Kol, he took a different tactic.

Kol was all about arrogance, his prowess with women and pretty much everything that happens south of his navel. So when Kol came back home that night with two women by his side – which wasn't exactly a rare sight either mind you – Caroline knew Klaus was up to something when she saw the calm way in which he walked into the parlor to greet his baby brother.

"Ah Kol, you're back" Klaus chides as he moved closer to Kol and then stoically adds "Ah I remember just a month back, when my brother Kol used to be my sister Nikol"

That sends the girls scramming away in a second and Kol and Klaus are staring at each other like at the end of an old western movie. And she just knows they're going to wreck the living room.

She finds herself quite comfortable with the thought; she had been looking for an excuse to redecorate as it is.

In the end, the loud bangs and furious bad-mouthing drives Elijah to bring his fancy ass down and attempt to separate his feuding brothers. Even Rebekah makes an appearance in between to break a vase over Klaus's head for ruining her date with Steve, then storms away yelling that she needs to go de-compel Steve or he's going to end up in Matt Bomber's office asking to have his babies.

When Klaus breaks Caroline's favorite painting she loses it. And the fight ends when she threatens to join Rebekah and bring back a very compliant Matt Bomber with her.

Klaus saves Elijah for last, because honestly he couldn't believe that his eldest brother had been a part of the others plan to annoy him to no end. Bekah and Kol he could understand, but Elijah was far too sophisticated to participate but apparently not anymore.

Hence, the reason why Klaus was quietly removing all of Elijah's blessed suits from his wardrobe, a sinister smile on his face.

Elijah and Caroline who were currently in the garden talking about world events or some crap like that, came running inside the house when they smelt something burning.

"My suits" Elijah exclaims in a gasp when he sees his precious suits in a burning pile on the floor, the black smoke billowing from all sides.

"I'm going to kill you Niklaus" Elijah bellows and launches himself towards his brother.

Klaus still has this evil smile on his face that makes Caroline think that he should have played the joker in all the Batman movies, he's actually really crazy enough to be the joker.

And then she wonders how crazy she is if she fell in love with the joker.

She leaves them alone letting them fight it out or whatever it is they do. From experience there is no solving these fights and she's far too exhausted to do anything. Instead she puts her mind on her own plan.

Now I'm sure you're all wondering what made Klaus do all these ridiculous things to his siblings.

Well, he blames Caroline.

If she hadn't walked in that one morning wearing an oversized trench coat and dragged him into his room declaring that she had a gift for him... none of this would have ever happened.

Her gift invoking his mini-heart attack and hard rock erection.

He had never seen anything sexier in his life

He had seen hundreds of corsets; hell, he'd removed hundreds of corsets in his life. But something about the sight of sweet bubbly and childish Caroline in a deep green and black corset with matching garter belts made every vein in his cock do the conga.

He hadn't even given her the chance to ask if he liked it or not before he flung her on his bed and she landed with an adorable squeal that only made him harder. Only this girl could be sexy and cute at the same time.

He was halfway through undoing the annoying corset (honestly he'd forgotten how to do it), his face buried in her breasts and her body arched into his when Kol started thumping on the door wildly.

"Is Caroline here, I want to talk to her" Kol yells

"Go away Kol" Klaus says angrily as he brings Caroline's giggling mouth back to his.

"I can hear her Nik, let her out. This is important" Kol clicks his tongue impatiently

Caroline – the ever caring – detaches her lips from Klaus and says "What is - oh! - it?" she stumbles slightly when Klaus purposely stuck his palm inside her panties, running a finger along her slit.

"I need help" is all Kol says and Caroline somehow manages to convince Klaus that this will only take a minute, instead it's another 2 hours before he gets her back.

Kol suddenly gets a shopping vibe and Caroline being incapable of saying no to any kind of retail therapy lets him drag her to 10 different stores, but ultimately he returns back home with one small bag of underwear in his hand.

Klaus decides to deal with his annoying brother later, instead focusing on Caroline, dragging her upstairs back to his room.

This time he's somewhere around the vicinity of her navel traveling steadily south when Rebekah bursts into the room, cringing slightly at the sight of her brother's ass in the air she moves directly into Caroline's line of sight and all but orders that the blonde help her chose a dress for an important thing tonight.

By the time he gets Caroline back it's another hour and he's done nothing but stare at the ceiling and count the no of squares in the painting on the opposite wall. He pushes her into the table right by the door when she walks in, obviously the wait till reaching his bed is far too long.

This time almost all his clothes are off and Caroline's only in her jeans and bra when Elijah strolls in asking to borrow a pencil. Klaus growls loudly and shoves him out the door, locking it this time. But no locked door can keep out a determined Elijah, so he breaks the handle with ease and spends 15 blissful minutes lecturing Klaus about his manners.

The only reason Klaus doesn't chuck him out the window is because he knows Caroline would not be pleased, Elijah is after all her favorite original.

Somehow in the midst of his lecturing he starts talking about his encounter with the Aztecs and Caroline is so fascinated that she dresses herself – in Klaus's shirt mind you – and pleads Elijah to tell her more about them. Klaus collapses on his bed with a grunt as Elijah settles down on the chair and begins his tale... which lasts about two hours.

By the time he's on top of Caroline again half of his lower body feels numb, which is vampirely impossible so he panics ever more, hastily ripping off all their clothing and shuts her up by sinking his entire length inside her when she opens her mouth to no doubt talk about the Aztecs or something worse.

This time Elijah knocks on the door softly and before Klaus can yell at him to burn in hell, Caroline politely – in between heavy pants – asks him to wait for a while. But then Elijah had to go ahead and mention that he needed her help in choosing the perfect suit for his meeting with Elena.

The romantic that she is, Caroline gives him a small apologetic smile as she crawls out from under him and promises to be back in minutes.

He groans when he sees her pull on the robe and makes her way out, she wants to set everyone else up leaving him hanging... literally.

If he doesn't orgasm soon, there's going to be nothing but a crater in place of Mystic Falls.

When she comes back he takes her in the shower, hoping that the water will drown out their voices. And he's this close... literally this close, especially when she's clenching her muscles around him like that and whispering his name in his ear. She nibbles on his ear and he digs his fingers into her hip bones, brining her hips forward to meet his thrusts, and that's when Rebekah bursts into his room outside yelling incoherently.

She claims that Damon and Stefan have taken Kol and he's so pissed that after he rescues his stupid brother he's going to kill him himself. But when he walks into the living room ready to rip the Salvatore's to shreds he finds his siblings – including Kol -laughing heartily. Even Elijah is chuckling happily going on and on about how frustrated Klaus looked when he was recounting his Aztec stories to Caroline.

They all planned to make this annoy Klaus day, on the exact same day Caroline had to walk in wearing that.

He vows to get them back and that's when they all stop laughing, their faces contorted in worry as they think of all possible ways he could get them back.

Elijah immediately hides all the daggers, not that Klaus had planned on doing that as it is.

And now that his revenge is done with, he feels a wicked sort of pleasure despite the fact that they effectively managed to stop him and Caroline having sex.

He ignores the fact that in the time that he spent plotting his revenge they could have had sex about 10 times.

Caroline happily exclaims that she finally gets to redecorate.

Elijah is grumbling about his suits and declaring that Caroline is going to have to accompany him on his numerous shopping trips.

Kol is seething that every girl in a five mile radius is going to think that's he's had a sex change operation.

Rebekah is pouting that her perfectly secret relationship with Steve is ruined. Kol snorts out loudly when she says secret.

Klaus threatens that if no one wants a repeat of this day then they better not come in between him and his orgasms.

The fight breaks out again when Kol asks Caroline to show him the lingerie.

All in all a normal day in the Original household.


A/N- I'm thinking of continuing this... should I?